₦airaland Forum

otokx: This whole story appears to be a hoax; moderators should be careful not to allow unverified stuff be discussed more less go into the frontpage

You still think its a hoax despite the below? from Tchaik?

I have seen it with my two Unclad eyes; when I go back there next week, I will send a better pics. Nigeria is officially phucked!

Ibime: The OP should know that no man ever dreamed of his wedding day as a child.

Most men do not care if they get married in front of a congregation or infront of two witnesses.

In other words, whatever the man decides to spend on a wedding is a gift to his wife.

That you expect a man to ignore his primary responsibility of providing shelter in order to cater for your wedding fantasy (secondary responsibility) speaks more about you than the guy.

Perhaps you would prefer if he asked you to take care of shelter so he could pay for the wedding.

I actually feel sorry for this man you are about to marry. No man wants to marry a flaky woman with mixed-up priorities.

Exactly. The wedding ceremony is a woman thing.

90% of men would be more worried about accomodation than some ceremony. The man has taken care of what he deems more important which 100% of men would agree with.

Its either you postpone the wedding, fit the wedding into his 20%, If you cant do a small wedding then contribute otherwise the one I support most is

BREAK UP WITH HIM AND GO FIND ANOTHER MAN WHO WOULD PAY 1million Percent of your wedding expenses while you just sit down there like Sallah ram waiting for Buyer . Later you would come here and ask us why the man treats you like trash when he bought you completely like an item in the market

Detongue: Deltans re smater dan dis rubbish.. Dis photoshop cannot rubbish d intellegence of d ppl of d state

You think Deltans are smarter than this?

The governor of Delta state, Emmanuel Uduaghan last week appointed to his cabinet, Mofe Pirah, whom his government is also prosecuting for murder.

According to court documents available to SaharaReporters, Mr. Pirah and 10 accused persons have recently received summonses from the Court of Appeal in Benin City for the September 1998 murder of Mr Samuel .A.K Metseagharun in Warri.

In the incident, Mr. Metseagharun, a former chairman and sole administrator of Delta State Board of Inland Revenue and Chairman of the Ugborodo (Escravos) Community Trust Governing Council, was allegedly dragged out of his Mercedes Benz car and beaten to death by a crowd which included Mr. Pirah.

https://saharareporters.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/news-page-images-480-wide/page_images/news/2011/Mofe_pirah.jpg

For those that voted GEJ and not PDP, Just continue to enjoy your fresh air

Either Chelsea or Arsenal

Thats the club all the agberos and conductors support

Outstrip: I wish all these men would be as vocal when a woman comes on here and says that her mother in law has been living with her for 3 years and its time for mama to leave. They will ask her if she is the one who married the man or if he married her. That is why this culture thing is bullshit to me. Always has and always will. If you are going to say that she should not whine then please drop the culture thing all together. Anyway it seems that they are not ready to get married. The man especially is not ready and he has been expressing it quite clearly

With the Mother in law no problem as long as your Daughter in law does exactly the same to you in the next 30yrs.


Anything you do to your MIL, May your DIl do exactly the same to you.

I wonder how many women would say Amen to this prayer

nubianqueen: I am married to an Ibo man and i am Yoruba. A few weeks to our wedding (four years ago), hubby's investment, which he had hoped will cover expenses for the wedding (house renovation et al) fell through. I put down N1.2 million to assist him. People please, it's no biggie. Let's stop all the 'my way or the high way' mentality already. What works for you doesn't necessarily have to work for me. I have no regrets whatsoever and i will do it all over again if i have to. Five months after our wedding, hubby took a loan to buy me a brand new car (his way of showing appreciation? i dunno)If you have made up your mind to spend the rest of your life with someone, then i think seeking people's opinions on the matter should not even come up. Nobody needs to know who is contributing what abeg. Per letting it get to your head? Does it get to his head when he spends money on you? why should it get to your head that you were able to help your man in his time of need? abi am i missing something? Marriage to me, is not about finding a partner to carry your financial burden for the rest of your life na?

You borrowed your husband money for wedding. What an abomination, You have commited an offence. Cos according to the OP your husband should have gone to rob a bank or do money rituals just to get married to you

ronkebp: Dayo, you are missing the points of some women here. Let me tell you personally, though some women can be stingy, if the poster in question did not see anything wrong in her fiance's attitude, she will not come here to lament. Majority of women will love to help their partners, infact you don't have to ask, as it was in the case of the poster above.

But this poster's man, already had it in mind that "anyways, the lady can foot the bill, if he doesn't" hence his lack of seriousness. And that is why i liked CC's first comment on the manner of approach and attitude, there is nothing wrong, on calling his fiance sitting her down, and letting her know that this is the situation of things, "what should we do"?? infact without even making any suggestions, the lady will cough out the money. we all need to learn how to talk to eachother with wisdom.

Ronke, the plain truth is any human who has the guts to suggest borrowing for wedding deserves worse. I would have told her worse things sef if she ventured to suggest that to me.

Most men are okay with a simple wedding and get done with it, Its usually the women that want a big wedding, And if you as the bride can see the huge unbudgeted expense I have made and my financial situation and still insist on a huge wedding or I should go borrow to finance that huge wedding. Then i think the guy didnt insult him well enough

i trust myself. Omo Oyo- Oyo mesi oro (Oyo knows the appropriate reply). I would just tell her that if we want to borrow can we use her fathers house for collateral? Or thats the reason they dont have "ajeseku" in her family, they eat with all their mouth SIMPLE :8

jennykadry: NA she get the money? the man is the one with the pocket so he should know what to do with it. When he was busy renovating house e did not remember abi?

And the man has told her he cant afford either the size of the wedding or getting married in August.

the options are simple, Postpone, Cancel or contribute. OP has a choice here

jennykadry: I am a typical IGBO babe from ABIA STATE and I tell yous that the groom is supposed to pay for it all . What happens if the girl is a student? should she go and borrow from her father? all these desperate girls sef na wa. Ehn she's young and bla bla bla, I also married very young too.

ME I AM NOT INTERESTED IN CHANGING MY CULTURAL VALUES BECAUSE OF A MAN. Thank you very much

Then a student should cut the cost of her wedding according to the size of her grooms purse

Donmeca: I am stepping into Abuja from my friend's wedding in Enugu (last sat) and i was privy to d prepping. This guy did d running around and paid....without asking his girl 4money yet he cudnt av completely foot d bill without it affecting his means of livelihood. But what did dis sweet chic do? She took over items in 1 above plus sourvenirs in number 3....she organised and paid 4dem! That reduces d cost on my guy's head. Recall dat no one prompted her to take over doz. Again, she didnt ask for an elaborate display of wealth. She infact suggested a combined celebration of church and traditional weddings....where d traditional doubles as a wedding reception. So guests who cudnt make it to d church went straight to her father's compd where we didnt hav to rent a hall.

She also made sure there was food was food...my guy paid but she organised it and added some cash wen d vendor demanded some more...she also made d 3 diff cakes (wedding, igbankwu and her hubby's birthday)....she paid! And she is not desperate....she is young, has a good job plus a masters degree. Items in number 2 are chiefly a guy's thing....and d cost is reasonable if 1 and 3 are shared or taken out.
.

THAT your friends wife has committed an abomination in the eyes of the OP and women here. How can a woman help with her own wedding.

And from your post it seemed the wedding was in Enugu, So the chances are that the wife is also an Igbo girl which shows us this is not a problem with Igbos (so don't give Igbos a bad name) but just the greedy and self centered OP who wants her groom to go and borrow for a wedding ceremony

ronkebp: Dayo for which area....lekki which renovation is there again in a new apartment?? that has just been newly built, did he get a 4 bedroom uncompleted building and decided to finish the building ni?

As at 2007 when I was looking for a house in Surulere the cost of a 2 bedroom was around 500k, I would have paid for at least 2 yrs, Some landlords wanted 3yrs added to agreement, commission and agency

My cousin just rented a house in Magodo and he paid 1.2m a yr for it in 2011. 2.4m for 2yrs plus agency commission and everything over 3.5m

So you need to update your ideas about rental costs in Nigeria. Is it not in the same Nigeria where they sell a plot of Land for 400m thats over 3m Dollars for an empty land that even floods in rainy season

MRbrownJAY: *****MBJ goes on his knees and start praying*****

[b]In the name of Jesus, I want to thank you father for sparing my life from ever meeting such ungrateful wicked women/monsters, as some of the ones portrayed on this thread. o holy father pls keep on guiding me away from these leeches and guarding me from being trapped by one of them. I give you glory for your creation, but these our sistas are just too much, obviously the evil serpent still has a hold on their minds. In your name I bind all demonic forces that have come upon their possessed minds, and I seal all of them in the protection of Your Precious Blood that was shed for us on the cross. Mary, our Mother, we seek your guidance to lead these women on the right path with the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and surround us with your mantle of love to discourage these enemies of progress to ever succeed. St. Michael and our Guardian Angels, come protect us in battle against all the evil greedy ungrateful women that roam the earth. In the Name of Jesus, I bind and command all the powers and forces of evil to depart RIGHT NOW away from the minds of these lost women, our homes and our lands. And we thank you Lord Jesus for You are a faithful and compassionate God.

let me hear you say AMEN[/b]

[size=28pt]AMENNNN[/size]

ronkebp: Claus i like what you have just posted here, but my question is, forget about the emergency situation, the guys rent was supposed to expire september anyways, that is, it will be a month or few weeks after his wedding. Where did he think he was going to get the money to renew his rent or get a new place?

His rent expires in September and he would have simply extended by paying one year rent. If you pay 1m for extension you would definitely pay over 3m in a new apartment cos Now he has to pay multiple years, renovate, clean, pay agency fees etc which upset his budget.

The solution is simple and you have said it. Postpone or cancel the wedding if the OP is not willing to contribute

But given her dumb outlook to life she think borrowing is a better option

Outstrip: And yet again none of what you have posted is unexpected. He knew that he was going to renew a lease and all these comes up with that. If he knew that the plan was going to change there should have been a sit down discussion with future wifey about what is up with the finances. Smaller house (rental) and a wedding that they are comfortable with. Not go out and spend money knowing that was not part of the plan. If it was me or any of my friends in the US I would wonder what the big deal was but this is NIgeria that you people feel like when you marry the woman she is now property hwo can you then say that it is okay for the man to tell his bride to be that the only choice they have now is for her to pay for the wedding all by herself. The man is shamelss or even worse not interested in the wedding preparations or even marriage.

No ask around or go to property section. Lease renewal isnt the same as getting a new house. In Nigeria you dont pay all those agency, agreement, attorney cleaning and renovation on renewal

A renewal is usually for 1yr, A new lease is nothing less than 2yrs.

The solution is simple. Either she forgets about the wedding happening in August (cancellation or postponement) or she foots the bill

Only a Reetard tells her groom to go borrow for weddings and that should have shown the man the kind of wife he is about to marry

steph7: did you even read my post, or you just felt like quoting me. Okay Mr know it all, pls explain to me how the young man planned on paying his next rent. To me , he sound non chalant about the wedding, which is why I made the statement .didn't you also read the part I said there is nothing wrong in contributing! Illiteracy is a disease

He was prepared to extend on his old house which he had money to cover. But the old house was falling and he had to move out to get a new place.

Everyone knows getting a new place is way more expensive than extending. Extension can be done for 1yr, New house is nothing less than 2yrs.

Extension is free and doesnt need renovation, New house comes with cleaning cost, renovation, fees like Agency, agreement and lawyer plus movement cost

If cost of extension is 1m, new apartment would be at least 3m

Outstrip: I don't understand this. Was he not aware that the lease was going to be up in september. None of this was a surprise. Weddings are usually a big deal for the average Nigerian. The house in question is even a rental not one that is owned by the man or the woman. The idea that it was an unexpected expense that came up is ridiculous. he knew that he had no plans for the wedding. Would it have been better had she come here and said it is a few months to the wedding and I am finding out that I will be footing the whole bill. It is irresponsible to say the least. None of this is a surprise. If it was an unexpected burial expense or such I would understand. It was not. The man knows that after spending 5 years with him and a wedding date has been set he is ready to show his true colors. The man just seems sneaky. She needs to find out if that house is truly a rental because he sounds like he is hiding something

if he had stayed in the old house he would just pay renewal and not cost of renovating and cleaning up, No cost of agency, agreement , He wouldnt have been mandated to pay 2yrs rent like its expected of new renters.

Unexpected expense include Renovating the new house, cleaning up the new house, agreement, agency, legal fees and mandatory 2 or 3yrs are costs that come with new rentals that dont apply to rent extensions.

The Op was in the know about all these expense and didnt even complain about it, she just want him to miraculously go and find the money from somewhere for the wedding

chaircover: See your mouth enu opuro ki sheje

Most of the men sreaming blue murder here buy Brazillian and Blackberry bold's & BIS monthly subscriptions for their babes, like it is going out of fashion. Money for school fees and handouts nko? Many of you turned yourselves into mobile ATM machines and now complain when the ladies think that this is the norm.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating and I firmly beleive that many of us who are against this 80% wedding formula have put down a lot more than 80% of wharrever over the years. Paying 80% of the wedding costs does not guarantee a good wife so you people should simmer down and listen to what us "Iyawo ile's" are telling you

And Yes I have a problem with the way the "shebi you have money" was phrased. That leaves such a bad taste in the mouth. BTW I havent read the posters previous posts and so I dont know the prior state of their relationship.

CC

Now tell me what you want the man to do.

The man already spent unbudgeted for money on the house, Should he go and borrow, steal, do rituals , sell his blood or kill himself to get married?

If the OP doesnt want to scale down the wedding, cancel it, postpone it, or provide money for it

What should the man do.

The OP said she told him to go and borrow, If any woman tells me that I would tell her worse than "Shebi you have the money".

Let me ask you this, if your brothers fiancee tells him to go and borrow for wedding after he has spent on getting a house for both of them, What would be your exact words to her?

ronkebp: That man is not ready to marry, he obviously cannot afford it. They should just go to court and sign papers. He rents a house, ehen after that nko Nobody is saying the lady should not help, but for him to fold his hands and say the woman should foot 80% of the wedding bills, haba!!!. Kilode??, that attitude, is "after all it is you that wants to get married, so foot the bill yourself" [that is the message am getting from his statement]

Did you read the initial post? the man had his finances tied up, An unforseen circumstance of house about to collapse happened and he had to spend money he put aside for the wedding on getting another house for two of them.

Ok If the lady doesnt want to spend 80% on the wedding, then let her spend on the house and the man spend 100% on the wedding

Is that OK?

Or better still cancel the wedding altogether. Which is the best solution left to me

Tgirl4real: But Jenny, once she has agreed to marry him things are different now. Its not like she is setting him up on a biz or sponsoring his Edu. This is their wedding ceremony. And we both know that a huge chunck of the money will be spent on the bride.

I see why we have a lot of unmarried live-in couples trying to save up for their wedding. These people will end up living together for like 5-10 years without tying the knot. At the end of the day, the guy will leave and marry another girl. We've seen a lot of threads like that here.

And if the guy does exactly that she would be the one coming here cussing the man.

OP, Delay the marriage or go and marry another person who has the money to finance your wedding simple. If you are waiting for the man to go and borrow then it wont happen

Delta state has been known to be a haven for political rogues

An example is the recent Ibori saga.

It was in the same Delta state a Murder suspect was appointed commissioner.

Its the same Delta State that allocated 7b to clear hills blocking the airport runway.

The now have an office for the former deputy governor

Delta State.

https://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/577469_10150748868431749_574881748_9515118_1773567964_n.jpg
Delta State has gone to the dogs Part 2

jennykadry: Very important comment-my comment.

A man that opens is mouth to say "shebi you have your own money" sounds to me like one who if things get too difficult, will just sit down and expect the woman to use her own money to feed him.

But the man didnt wait for the woman for him to go get them a house.

A woman who tells her groom to go borrow for marriage sounds like a reetard to me

jennykadry: A lot of men here do all sorts of odd jobs to take care of their family, if this man is looking up to a woman for finance to marry her then what happens if they become financially weak later, he is going to be looking up to his wife to feed him?

Men are carers here wiping the bums of these oldies, these are men that know their roles in the house.

And what has this got to do with the situation?

The money the guy spent on the house where did it come from? Did the OP say the groom wasnt working or he wasnt making money?

God Forbid

What happened to the text messages indicting Dokpesi and IBB?

Another feather to GEJ's cap

Its interesting to see the comments of those women preaching equality on this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/928790/supposed-pay-wedding

jennykadry: I do not believe in 50-50 in marriage and that has always applied even before marriage. A man must go extra miles to foot his wedding. This woman does not mind contributing but her question is why 80%? why should I contribute 80%? Am I the one marrying him? Did I propose to him? Out of a million he chose me, so please let him do his work

Extra mile like going to borrow? Or sell his plasma or go do money rituals?

80% because the man spent a huge chunk of his money renting a house. If the house expense didnt come, he wouldnt have asked her for a dime. Since the groom had an emergency that took a huge his money away he should go rob a bank to marry the Mgbeke.

I have given a solution let her rent the house and the man would foot the wedding 100% DEAL?