₦airaland Forum

syluck:
My head now is big

syluck:
My family was a middle class type of family. Papa, a light skin 5’7ft lecturer in the department of Accounting, was a Phd holder and also the Head of Department (H.O.D). He had been earning what a senior lecturer should be earning since God knows when. He was more of a dialogue person than a 'disciplinarian' unlike Nne. He was a jovial, carefree man who sometimes promises but fails. He would fulfill that promise when his wife reminds him. Or sometimes he would fulfil it when the spirit of fulfilment abides in him.

One unique trait about Papa was the fact that he was an extrovert who talked on absolutely everything, be it the bad or the good. He discussed with us on almost everything one would never think of.

I remembered when I was just 13 years old in JSS3, I was watching a movie in the parlor when he came inside with a newspaper in his right hand and a canned malt drink in his left, sat down in his reserved chair, looked at me weirdly, his eyes demanding and said.

“King, what class are you now?” He called me King when he was in a good mood or wanted to ask for a favour.

“Papa, JSS3” I replied.

“How old are you?” he asked, glancing at the newspaper.

“13, but I will be 14 by August,” I said inquisitively.

“So how many girlfriends do you have in school?” He asked. His face with no definite expression.

“None” I murmured.

“Don’t play me, boy, you’re in a mixed school and you don't expect me to believe this.” This time around, his voice was becoming more masculine than before.

Knowing how serious he was, I decided to give him the truth. “I have many girls as my friends but it's only Oluchi I like the most,” I said. He looked at me, took a sip of his malt.

“So this Oluchi, is she in your class and who are her parents?” he asked, humming a song while glancing through at the newspaper he held on both hands.

“Yes she is, her dad is a plumber while her mom owns a provision stall at Akpan Andem market.”

“I never asked you to tell me their occupation, but anyways do you like this girl?"

“Yes I do,” I replied, squeezing my hands. I was now feeling my body temperature rising to its hottest level despite the ceiling fan blazing. I bite my teeth grinding them like they no more matter to me.

I was sure I heard Papa grin as he continued with his interrogation.

“So have you ever kissed her?”.

The question sent cold chills all over my body. I looked at my father and saw him smiling right at me and grinning like he knew the question was going to make me feel uncomfortable. I was just 13 for Christ sake. I knew him to be this straightforward with his question but I never knew him to be terrifying with his looks after asking such questions.

“I only hugged her once, I have not kissed her” I stammered.

“In that case have you kissed anyone?” He asked again.

“No, sir” I replied.

"Ebere," he began, as he dropped his newspaper and looked at me. “I’m not trying to intimidate you with questions that you may think you’re not supposed to know or answer. But this is the 21’st century and things have changed a lot. When I was younger in my university days, I vowed to myself that my kids will know a little on sex education before their 16th birthday. I have done this to your elder sister and now I'm doing the same to you. You’re gradually growing into puberty and adulthood and soon enough you’ll start having feelings for your opposite sex or getting attracted to them. You like Oluchi now, maybe because you feel she’s pretty or maybe because of peer group or maybe because you want to use it to get at someone-”

“I'm not trying to use her to get at anyone,” I said quickly, cutting him.

“Boy, don’t you interrupt me while I’m talking” He said in English with a firm look. “That’s a sign you don’t disrespect your elders,”

He continued, with a smile. “ As I was saying, I can’t tell you not to like Oluchi or to like her. One thing I would want you to know is that you should always be careful. As a boy, it is very okay for you to like a girl or fall in love with any. But it is not okay if you do the following, 1: Breaking or using a girl's vulnerability 2: Using a bait to win a girl over. 3: Forcing yourself on a girl for sexual pleasure.” He said, paused, drank his malt and asked.

“I’m sure you know what breaking a girl’s vulnerability is?”

“Yes”

"What is it?"

"It's like saying, breaking a girl's heart or using her weak point"

“Good, you guys watch a lot of movies these days so I'm not surprised. Back to number three, don’t you ever force yourself on a girl for sex. It is called rape. It will tarnish your image forever. Moreover, it's ungentlemanly for any man or boy to do that, it's evil and a disgrace, erroneous and an unspeakable act. I have not done it before and will never do, you should follow in my footsteps on this. 4: Disrespecting women or seeing them as sex objects. The society has placed women as sex objects therefore making them lesser humans thereby disregarding them or treating them like trash. Don't do it son. It's not nice. Most times the ladies do this to themselves but always be quick to avoid such ladies. As a lecturer, I can tell you that I've encountered countless ladies who make advances at me by dressing provocatively and talking seductively in my office just for grades but I always ignore them because of the respect and love I have for your mom and sisters, and also because it's the right thing to do." He paused and looked at me keenly to see if I was still paying attention. He continued.

"This part is also important, son, when ever you feel you want to have sex with a girl, always use contraceptives. By contraceptives I mean those things a boy or girl puts on before getting laid. Use them till whenever you're married, even when you are, you can still decide to use them. This would help you get free from Sexual Transmitted Diseases; these diseases are dangerous which can lead to the end of your life. And also the contraceptives prevent unwanted pregnancies. Even the contraceptives are not 100% correct. So be wise and all the times have self control. And I don't expect you to start using the contraceptives now, but I'm telling you this in time so you know because it's right that you know."

He ended our twenty minutes conversation with that and then continued with his newspaper. That was the first time I heard the word contraceptives and STDs. I turned around to find Nne at the dinning, I wondered how she got there. Well, that was seven years ago, and the memories are still fresh and have kept me in the right part.

syluck:
Mention your friends �

syluck:
Deborah98, Ann2012 please help me mention your gang.