₦airaland Forum

^^^ or shitty lock.

^^^^^^^
emmm, can some1 kindly tell me what makes a man (lady) sexy?

Confusion everywhere. na wa oooo

This issue of junior minister (minister of state) does pisses me off anytime i come across it. The question is are they really needed? Sheer waste of scarce resources.

^^^^^ Calabar could be cool now but eh, for how long. If the rest of the nation except calabar isnt cool then its just a matter of time. As far as i am concerned, we are all on our own as far as security is concerned in this nation.

shadrach77:
Ghastly Crash: Governor Imoke Flown Abroad
March 24, 2010 15:26 (2 hours ago), 1,354 views

By Emma Una/ Calabar

Following the injuries sustained by the Cross River State Governor, Senator Liyel Imoke, on the mountainous Obudu Ranch Resort, the governor has reportedly been flown abroad for further medical treatment.

Imoke was flown to an undisclosed European country for treatment as the crash is reported to have seriously affected his health, “especially around the ankle region,”a P.MNEWS source disclosed.


He was earlier flown to the Federal Medical Centre, Abuja where doctors recommended his treatment abroad following the severity of the injuries he sustained during the crash.


The governor was involved in a road mishap while ascending the mountainous Obudu Ranch Resort at about 2 a.m after he had attended two funeral obsequies in Obudu in the northern senatorial zone of the state.

After the event, it was too late for the governor to use the cable car which had closed during the day, hence his trip in the SUV in the early hours of that fateful day to rest at the Resort.

Impeccable sources disclosed that Senator Imoke’s driver who was on duty complained that he was feeling sleepy but was urged by a superior official to drive the SUV as there was no alternative.

The driver, according to our source, was told to use water to wash his face to prevent the sleep, which he did but that did not help matters. The driver still fell asleep and eventually lost control of the SUV in which the governor was, causing it to skid off the snaky road and crashing several times into the steel barriers by the side of the road, thus causing him to sustain serious injuries.

The driver and the chief security officer to the governor did not sustain serious injuries but Imoke’s case was terrible. The governor’s car according, to sources, was badly mangled.

Chief Press Secretary to the Governor, Patrick Ugbe, who had earlier reported the accident to newsmen, declined to speak on Imoke’s trip abroad.

The Deputy Governor, Barrister Efiok Cobham, has been acting as governor, swearing in board members as approved by the state House of Assembly

http://thepmnews.com/2010/03/24/ghastly-crash-governor-imoke-flown-abroad

I still dont get it!!! Was it that the doctors recommended he should be flown abroad becos they dont av the neccessary gadgets that will aid his treatment or there is no competent Doctor in Nigeria that can treat him

omega25red:
assuming your story is true

when you ask someone out dont flash your doe or better yet why not date someone from the same wealth level that way you know its not about money.

I believe the story 100%. A friend of mine (very comfortable with a very good job coupled with his own businesses) recently confided in me that he is finding it pretty dificult to get a WIFE.

Come to think of it, Which state is really secure that corpers will be happy to stay in and serve Abegii they should scrap the damn tin called NYSC.

Cant this guy just resigned? i wonder if there will be any treat (if at all there is 1 presently) if this is done. Nonsense.

Thanks Arsenal, will do that soon.

^^^^ Check what out?

^^^ Be sensitive to the guy's plight now

na wa ooo. Those flats are really expensive oooo. Kai!!!!!!

^^^ as in jokes section

^^^^ U can say that again. Jobless Researchers

^^^ Nop not mine. Are there rules to that effect here I am new here oooo

Virginity Test!!!!

A young man was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he can tell if his bride is a virgin.
                   
The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel.'
                   
The man was astonished and asked, 'So what do I do with these?'
                   
The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball blue, and if she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw", you hit her head with the shovel.'


                 
MIXED EMOTIONS!!!!!

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions.

The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you cant tell me anything that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
   
She said: "Out of all your friends, you have the biggest manliness."



TiGer Woods Mistake!!!!!

Tiger Woods great mistake, was ,  marrying a Scandinavian.
Women of other nationalities seem quite incapable of dealing with these sorts of things without causing international scandals and endangering highly
lucrative endorsement contracts.(Couldn’t the woman, just have lit a cigarette in
her shaking hand and poured herself a stiff gin)?”

For a second imagine if Wood's wife were Nigerian. There would certainly have been
No chasing-my-husband-around-the-house-with-an-expensive-golf-club drama, and therefore no
driving-into-fire-hydrant, and no 911 call. And, by implication, no public scandal.
What she’d have done was to place a tearful call to her Mother back home in a well
appointed villa in Nigeria . And her mother would have asked her, in vernacular: 

“Is he beating you?”;
“Has he stopped taking care of his children?”;
“Is he bringing those useless women into your marital bed?” 

To which Mrs. Woods would have answered:
No.
No.
No. 

And a genuinely perplexed mother would have said: “So you want to
Abandon your home? Ewooooo / Efemi! Over my dead bodywooooo! You are
staying there!” 

Case closed.



Deaf Bookeeper!!!!


A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he
got the job in the first place.

It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is."

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper'stemple and says, "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

Don't you just love lawyers!



Humour!!!!!

Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed, BUT they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed.


Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!


Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what another person has & you wish you had ordered that.

 
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!!!



Who Says Men Don't Remember Anniversaries!!!!!!

A woman awakes during the night to find
that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive.
"Yes,
I do," she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says,  "I would have gotten out today!"



Wedding Ring!!!!!

A man went to the hospital in Rockhampton, Queensland to have his Wedding ring cut off from his manliness.                                     
According to the nurse attending the operation, the patient's girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket.                                       
                                                        She didn't know he was married and she was so mad she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his manliness while he was asleep.                 
                                                                           
I don't know what's worse:                                               
1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.                       
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your manliness.       
                                                        OR,                                                                   
3) Finding out your manliness fits through your wedding ring.                 
                                                                           
*  Tough call. 



YOU DECIDE,

*

U need to catch him and fast before he starts infecting u with diseases if its so.
wishing u the best.

Can some1 kindly please tell me where i can av the above manual. i currently av this car in my possesion but the manual that came with it is written in german.I need the English translation. Tried getting it online all to avail.
Cheers.

The Fear of HIV/AIDS, the beginning of Wisdom

Spicymum,
I like ur guts. u sound to me as a very reasonable and responsible lady and this i appreciate anytime i come across such becos its rare to come across such these days.
looking at it from Busybody's points, its also a possibility. i honestly didnt think of that. 3Gbosa's for busybody.

Above all, me think if indeed u cheerish ur marriage as u sound to be, u should be planning to relocate back to Naija. u can always go back if things didnt go as expected. Its obvious to all now that this union can't work like this (u in canada;him in lag).

Goodluck and i honestly wish u the best.

@ Poster

My brother no be u alone ooo. when i first saw the picture, my mouth went wide open. Simply can fathom the whole thing. i honetly think someone some where is building a private army.

@ MADLADY.

Well, me think its a stupid and foolish person that will honestly  see a player and willingly jump into his ship. Agreed, their mouths are sweet and such of, but ehhh if u dont av the wisdom to flee or damn the person, i honestly dont think u will av the strength or abilty to play such

The true "player" would av left u and miles away by the time u are aware that he is one. So how would u be able to play him nah!!!!  

Thanks Spicymum for ur response. Never knew u would respond let alone ur epistle. I carefully read through it. i appreciate it.

I am not a doctor neither am i a psycologist but i honestly dont think Divorcing him is the solution. Its obvious to me that he has a problem which no one (including u-stand to be corrected though) has been able to decode so far. i know u would av tried ur best in trying to understand what exactly is going on but spicymum, u simply av to try more. i think u should create more time to be alone with him alone in Nigeria for a considerable period of time for u to understand the more his lifecycle. this could prove difficult but if that will make u av a brand new marriage then i think the sacrifice is worth it.
I am not convinced that he has moved on with another lady based on what u av written so far but i honestly feel he needs to be attended to either physically,medically,spiritually, emotionally and even sexually. Spicymum, this is one of ur vows when u got married to him(to bring him up when he is down). u will be amazed when the changes start setting in.

Please, ur issue hasnt gotten to the Divorce phase. Dont contemplate that for now.
I honestly wish u the best.
Cheers.

spicymum:
The only Nigerian lawyers here are acquintances. I dont want people knowing my biz, so,

He is the reason I want a divorce. Naturally, he sees no wrong in his actions or inactions. He is an extremely controlled and controlling person. By controlled, I mean he is a CLOSED BOOK , and doesnt seem to feel emotions that normal people do. (Besides extreme and unbelievable anger!!, which has destroyed a lot of things for us and our relationship).Unfortunately, he was not anything like that before we got married. I just assumed he was a private person. So wrong!

Still looking out for some advice here.

Emmm spicymum, i am so sorry i dont know the process neither do i know any lawyer i can introduce to u but eh, i am really curious about this case of urs and would love to understand something.

Have u guys always been far apart?? if not, when did u start noticing this abnormal behaviour pattern of his? From what u wrote, u are presently in Canada while he is in Lagos.
Cheers.

Abegii, calm down. its only 3months now. The child will come jare.

I normally dont support Abortion but in this perculiar case the unwanted baby should be removed kiakia.