₦airaland Forum

my church recently acquired a projector and i have been doing the presentation. everyone seems to love how entertaining my presentation has been having received many accolades. however, i need to improve. presently, i use only powerpoint and easy worship. please, gurus in the house recommend software with wonderful animations that i can incorporate in the presentation so as to add more colour to it. i have searched and downloaded many apps but non seem to be better than powerpoint and easy worship.

please, help

my church recently acquired a projector and i have been doing the presentation. everyone seems to love how entertaining my presentation has been having received many accolades. however, i need to improve. presently, i use only powerpoint and easy worship. please, gurus in the house recommend software with wonderful animations that i can incorporate in the presentation so as to add more colour to it. i have searched and downloaded many apps but non seem to be better than powerpoint and easy worship.

please, help

my church recently acquired a projector and i have been doing the presentation. everyone seems to love how entertaining my presentation has been having received many accolades. however, i need to improve. presently, i use only powerpoint and easy worship. please, gurus in the house recommend software with wonderful animations that i can incorporate in the presentation so as to add more colour to it. i have searched and downloaded many apps but non seem to be better than powerpoint and easy worship.

please, help

THE DESIGNERS' WIVES

The title of this piece is a copyright from Aisha
Falode and her team of co-presenters of
“Amazons”, a magazine programme on African
Independent Television. The phrase was the topic
of the episode aired on Friday, August 28, 2015. I
watched the fascinating edition and therefore
decided to share my perspective on the issue with
a wider audience. In the episode, Nigerian
designer wives was the ascription given to
married career ladies who are trendy,
sophisticated, and cosmopolitan but deficient in
culinary prowess. They are women who are well-
read but lack the ability to manage the home
front. They rely heavily on house-helps to clean
and cook thereby outsourcing crucial matrimonial
duties.
Ace actress, Funke Akindele, in one of the recent
episodes of her highly entertaining TV drama
entitled “Jennifer’s Diary” featured a character
that best describe Aisha Falode’s Nigerian
designer wife. The lady couldn’t cook nor do any
household chore and only tried to do them when
she was about losing her fiancé to another
woman.
Is it not shocking that this country now has a
sizable number of married women who cannot
cook anything beyond noodle? There are even
some of them who cannot boil water let alone
egg. They have been so pampered that they do
not know the way to the market and if they do,
they don’t know the recipe for soup making; how
to identify good fish or meat; which yam is good
for pounded yam and which one is good for
porridge; how to bargain, etcetera.
There are many ladies in today’s Nigeria that hire
people to go to market for them. Thereafter, they
go for their cookery book for guidance on how to
go about preparing their meals. Some who
couldn’t cook order large quantum of prepared
food and soups from restaurants which they take
home to refrigerate and microwave when they
want to eat or entertain visitors. Some don’t even
bother themselves going through all that stress,
they simply eat out.
These designer wives do not know how to sweep,
wash plates and clothes, mop the floor, dust the
furniture, iron clothes, arrange the home and tidy
up their environment. While some of them make
heavy investment in purchasing washing
machines for their laundry; some others hire
people to do their home cleaning. Some do most
of their laundry at the dry cleaners. All these are
done at great financial and social costs.
What then do these designer wives know how to
do? Oh, a lot! They are fashionistas and are
specialist in the use of information and
communications technology. They are connected
to all the social media and can ping and chat
from morning till evening except when they are
busy at work. They regularly upload their latest
pictures on their social media accounts such as
Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. They also are
good at watching the latest movies and films on
satellite television. They have favourite soap
operas they cannot afford to miss on terrestrial
TV. They know all the major characters in
Mexican soaps, Nollywood and Hollywood. They
like to gossip and as such spend quality time on
phones chatting up friends, colleagues and
relations. They also love cars, customised, posh
wonders-on-wheel, with which they cruise town.
Above all, they like to party. In order to outshine
their peers and friends at social functions, they
spend fortunes acquiring the latest designer
dress, perfumes, jewelries, wristwatches, hats,
headgears, sun-shades, cosmetics and so on.
They are generally power dressers! They adorn
themselves with artificial eyelashes and nails as
well as padded brassiere (if they are not well
endowed with mammary-gland).
They are the typical women who pay attention to
their looks and spare no expense to look good.
They are the ones who go for tummy tuck, breast
enlargement and plastic surgeries just to look
elegant. Some of the designer wives also spend
time exercising and keeping fit. They diet a lot.
Because they do not want their breast to sag,
they often don’t spend more than a month
breastfeeding their children. In short, designer
wives want to be complimented as being sexy
and gorgeous.
The sad thing is that these designer wives hardly
have successful marriages. Though they may
have elaborate, talk-of-the-town weddings, their
marriages easily crumble like pack of cards as
their husbands face the reality of marrying wives
without proper home training. They often engage
in shouting matches with their husbands as they
bicker and nag over improper home management.
Even where the husbands are accommodating
and tolerant of their wives deficient domestic
skills, their family and friends often kick over the
mistreatment meted out to them when they visit.
How can a wife who cannot cook offer her
husband’s family or friends’ food when they come
visiting? Well, except someone offers to do it on
her behalf or she goes buying it. Some of these
wives, who depend heavily on hired female house
helps to assist with cooking and cleaning, have
had their husbands snatched from them. After all,
it is said that the way to a man’s heart is
through his stomach.
The worst part of this sad saga is that women
who do not know how to do house chores cannot
impart such skills on their children and wards.
Thus, we are gradually raising multiple
generations of women who though are bookish
and are accomplished professionals, lack good
moral and cultural education to create happy
homes. What a pity!
Incidentally, as there are designer wives, we have
designer husbands. These are husbands, who love
the good things of life, are trendy, classy, power
dressers, cannot do a single house chore nor help
out in child rearing and parenting. There is
nothing wrong in a man being highly
domesticated. Thanks to my mum. She thought
me how to cook, wash and do all domestic
chores. I recall that in those days, while growing
up in the ancient city of Ibadan, mother insisted
that we, all her children, should learn how to use
the grinding stone to grind pepper for vegetable
soup and porridge beans. I and my sisters took
turns to do that. My home management skills
came handy in my undergraduate and post
graduate years as well as during my bachelorhood
as I was able to do my house chores by myself
including cooking my meals. There should
therefore be no gender discrimination when it
comes to domestic duties.
For the designer wives, especially those of them
who wish to learn, the good news is that some
women who saw the knowledge gap have decided
to do something to help their fellow women. One
of such is Mrs. Ope Tejuosho, who has set up a
school in Lagos to educate women on home
management, cooking, etiquette and so on.
According to her, while featuring on the “Amazon”,
some mothers and husbands have been enrolling
their daughters and wives respectively in her
school. Apart from catering schools, there are
also television programmes where women and
men alike can learn culinary skills. In closing, our
parenting responsibility is incomplete if we do not
give our children life skills in home management.
All mothers and indeed fathers need to do
something about this before their daughters get
thrown out of their matrimonial homes.

THE DESIGNERS' WIVES

The title of this piece is a copyright from Aisha
Falode and her team of co-presenters of
“Amazons”, a magazine programme on African
Independent Television. The phrase was the topic
of the episode aired on Friday, August 28, 2015. I
watched the fascinating edition and therefore
decided to share my perspective on the issue with
a wider audience. In the episode, Nigerian
designer wives was the ascription given to
married career ladies who are trendy,
sophisticated, and cosmopolitan but deficient in
culinary prowess. They are women who are well-
read but lack the ability to manage the home
front. They rely heavily on house-helps to clean
and cook thereby outsourcing crucial matrimonial
duties.
Ace actress, Funke Akindele, in one of the recent
episodes of her highly entertaining TV drama
entitled “Jennifer’s Diary” featured a character
that best describe Aisha Falode’s Nigerian
designer wife. The lady couldn’t cook nor do any
household chore and only tried to do them when
she was about losing her fiancé to another
woman.
Is it not shocking that this country now has a
sizable number of married women who cannot
cook anything beyond noodle? There are even
some of them who cannot boil water let alone
egg. They have been so pampered that they do
not know the way to the market and if they do,
they don’t know the recipe for soup making; how
to identify good fish or meat; which yam is good
for pounded yam and which one is good for
porridge; how to bargain, etcetera.
There are many ladies in today’s Nigeria that hire
people to go to market for them. Thereafter, they
go for their cookery book for guidance on how to
go about preparing their meals. Some who
couldn’t cook order large quantum of prepared
food and soups from restaurants which they take
home to refrigerate and microwave when they
want to eat or entertain visitors. Some don’t even
bother themselves going through all that stress,
they simply eat out.
These designer wives do not know how to sweep,
wash plates and clothes, mop the floor, dust the
furniture, iron clothes, arrange the home and tidy
up their environment. While some of them make
heavy investment in purchasing washing
machines for their laundry; some others hire
people to do their home cleaning. Some do most
of their laundry at the dry cleaners. All these are
done at great financial and social costs.
What then do these designer wives know how to
do? Oh, a lot! They are fashionistas and are
specialist in the use of information and
communications technology. They are connected
to all the social media and can ping and chat
from morning till evening except when they are
busy at work. They regularly upload their latest
pictures on their social media accounts such as
Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. They also are
good at watching the latest movies and films on
satellite television. They have favourite soap
operas they cannot afford to miss on terrestrial
TV. They know all the major characters in
Mexican soaps, Nollywood and Hollywood. They
like to gossip and as such spend quality time on
phones chatting up friends, colleagues and
relations. They also love cars, customised, posh
wonders-on-wheel, with which they cruise town.
Above all, they like to party. In order to outshine
their peers and friends at social functions, they
spend fortunes acquiring the latest designer
dress, perfumes, jewelries, wristwatches, hats,
headgears, sun-shades, cosmetics and so on.
They are generally power dressers! They adorn
themselves with artificial eyelashes and nails as
well as padded brassiere (if they are not well
endowed with mammary-gland).
They are the typical women who pay attention to
their looks and spare no expense to look good.
They are the ones who go for tummy tuck, breast
enlargement and plastic surgeries just to look
elegant. Some of the designer wives also spend
time exercising and keeping fit. They diet a lot.
Because they do not want their breast to sag,
they often don’t spend more than a month
breastfeeding their children. In short, designer
wives want to be complimented as being sexy
and gorgeous.
The sad thing is that these designer wives hardly
have successful marriages. Though they may
have elaborate, talk-of-the-town weddings, their
marriages easily crumble like pack of cards as
their husbands face the reality of marrying wives
without proper home training. They often engage
in shouting matches with their husbands as they
bicker and nag over improper home management.
Even where the husbands are accommodating
and tolerant of their wives deficient domestic
skills, their family and friends often kick over the
mistreatment meted out to them when they visit.
How can a wife who cannot cook offer her
husband’s family or friends’ food when they come
visiting? Well, except someone offers to do it on
her behalf or she goes buying it. Some of these
wives, who depend heavily on hired female house
helps to assist with cooking and cleaning, have
had their husbands snatched from them. After all,
it is said that the way to a man’s heart is
through his stomach.
The worst part of this sad saga is that women
who do not know how to do house chores cannot
impart such skills on their children and wards.
Thus, we are gradually raising multiple
generations of women who though are bookish
and are accomplished professionals, lack good
moral and cultural education to create happy
homes. What a pity!
Incidentally, as there are designer wives, we have
designer husbands. These are husbands, who love
the good things of life, are trendy, classy, power
dressers, cannot do a single house chore nor help
out in child rearing and parenting. There is
nothing wrong in a man being highly
domesticated. Thanks to my mum. She thought
me how to cook, wash and do all domestic
chores. I recall that in those days, while growing
up in the ancient city of Ibadan, mother insisted
that we, all her children, should learn how to use
the grinding stone to grind pepper for vegetable
soup and porridge beans. I and my sisters took
turns to do that. My home management skills
came handy in my undergraduate and post
graduate years as well as during my bachelorhood
as I was able to do my house chores by myself
including cooking my meals. There should
therefore be no gender discrimination when it
comes to domestic duties.
For the designer wives, especially those of them
who wish to learn, the good news is that some
women who saw the knowledge gap have decided
to do something to help their fellow women. One
of such is Mrs. Ope Tejuosho, who has set up a
school in Lagos to educate women on home
management, cooking, etiquette and so on.
According to her, while featuring on the “Amazon”,
some mothers and husbands have been enrolling
their daughters and wives respectively in her
school. Apart from catering schools, there are
also television programmes where women and
men alike can learn culinary skills. In closing, our
parenting responsibility is incomplete if we do not
give our children life skills in home management.
All mothers and indeed fathers need to do
something about this before their daughters get
thrown out of their matrimonial homes.

THE DESIGNERS' WIVES

The title of this piece is a copyright from Aisha
Falode and her team of co-presenters of
“Amazons”, a magazine programme on African
Independent Television. The phrase was the topic
of the episode aired on Friday, August 28, 2015. I
watched the fascinating edition and therefore
decided to share my perspective on the issue with
a wider audience. In the episode, Nigerian
designer wives was the ascription given to
married career ladies who are trendy,
sophisticated, and cosmopolitan but deficient in
culinary prowess. They are women who are well-
read but lack the ability to manage the home
front. They rely heavily on house-helps to clean
and cook thereby outsourcing crucial matrimonial
duties.
Ace actress, Funke Akindele, in one of the recent
episodes of her highly entertaining TV drama
entitled “Jennifer’s Diary” featured a character
that best describe Aisha Falode’s Nigerian
designer wife. The lady couldn’t cook nor do any
household chore and only tried to do them when
she was about losing her fiancé to another
woman.
Is it not shocking that this country now has a
sizable number of married women who cannot
cook anything beyond noodle? There are even
some of them who cannot boil water let alone
egg. They have been so pampered that they do
not know the way to the market and if they do,
they don’t know the recipe for soup making; how
to identify good fish or meat; which yam is good
for pounded yam and which one is good for
porridge; how to bargain, etcetera.
There are many ladies in today’s Nigeria that hire
people to go to market for them. Thereafter, they
go for their cookery book for guidance on how to
go about preparing their meals. Some who
couldn’t cook order large quantum of prepared
food and soups from restaurants which they take
home to refrigerate and microwave when they
want to eat or entertain visitors. Some don’t even
bother themselves going through all that stress,
they simply eat out.
These designer wives do not know how to sweep,
wash plates and clothes, mop the floor, dust the
furniture, iron clothes, arrange the home and tidy
up their environment. While some of them make
heavy investment in purchasing washing
machines for their laundry; some others hire
people to do their home cleaning. Some do most
of their laundry at the dry cleaners. All these are
done at great financial and social costs.
What then do these designer wives know how to
do? Oh, a lot! They are fashionistas and are
specialist in the use of information and
communications technology. They are connected
to all the social media and can ping and chat
from morning till evening except when they are
busy at work. They regularly upload their latest
pictures on their social media accounts such as
Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. They also are
good at watching the latest movies and films on
satellite television. They have favourite soap
operas they cannot afford to miss on terrestrial
TV. They know all the major characters in
Mexican soaps, Nollywood and Hollywood. They
like to gossip and as such spend quality time on
phones chatting up friends, colleagues and
relations. They also love cars, customised, posh
wonders-on-wheel, with which they cruise town.
Above all, they like to party. In order to outshine
their peers and friends at social functions, they
spend fortunes acquiring the latest designer
dress, perfumes, jewelries, wristwatches, hats,
headgears, sun-shades, cosmetics and so on.
They are generally power dressers! They adorn
themselves with artificial eyelashes and nails as
well as padded brassiere (if they are not well
endowed with mammary-gland).
They are the typical women who pay attention to
their looks and spare no expense to look good.
They are the ones who go for tummy tuck, breast
enlargement and plastic surgeries just to look
elegant. Some of the designer wives also spend
time exercising and keeping fit. They diet a lot.
Because they do not want their breast to sag,
they often don’t spend more than a month
breastfeeding their children. In short, designer
wives want to be complimented as being sexy
and gorgeous.
The sad thing is that these designer wives hardly
have successful marriages. Though they may
have elaborate, talk-of-the-town weddings, their
marriages easily crumble like pack of cards as
their husbands face the reality of marrying wives
without proper home training. They often engage
in shouting matches with their husbands as they
bicker and nag over improper home management.
Even where the husbands are accommodating
and tolerant of their wives deficient domestic
skills, their family and friends often kick over the
mistreatment meted out to them when they visit.
How can a wife who cannot cook offer her
husband’s family or friends’ food when they come
visiting? Well, except someone offers to do it on
her behalf or she goes buying it. Some of these
wives, who depend heavily on hired female house
helps to assist with cooking and cleaning, have
had their husbands snatched from them. After all,
it is said that the way to a man’s heart is
through his stomach.
The worst part of this sad saga is that women
who do not know how to do house chores cannot
impart such skills on their children and wards.
Thus, we are gradually raising multiple
generations of women who though are bookish
and are accomplished professionals, lack good
moral and cultural education to create happy
homes. What a pity!
Incidentally, as there are designer wives, we have
designer husbands. These are husbands, who love
the good things of life, are trendy, classy, power
dressers, cannot do a single house chore nor help
out in child rearing and parenting. There is
nothing wrong in a man being highly
domesticated. Thanks to my mum. She thought
me how to cook, wash and do all domestic
chores. I recall that in those days, while growing
up in the ancient city of Ibadan, mother insisted
that we, all her children, should learn how to use
the grinding stone to grind pepper for vegetable
soup and porridge beans. I and my sisters took
turns to do that. My home management skills
came handy in my undergraduate and post
graduate years as well as during my bachelorhood
as I was able to do my house chores by myself
including cooking my meals. There should
therefore be no gender discrimination when it
comes to domestic duties.
For the designer wives, especially those of them
who wish to learn, the good news is that some
women who saw the knowledge gap have decided
to do something to help their fellow women. One
of such is Mrs. Ope Tejuosho, who has set up a
school in Lagos to educate women on home
management, cooking, etiquette and so on.
According to her, while featuring on the “Amazon”,
some mothers and husbands have been enrolling
their daughters and wives respectively in her
school. Apart from catering schools, there are
also television programmes where women and
men alike can learn culinary skills. In closing, our
parenting responsibility is incomplete if we do not
give our children life skills in home management.
All mothers and indeed fathers need to do
something about this before their daughters get
thrown out of their matrimonial homes.

APCsupporter:
Op that person you are calling Almajiri can buy your family with cash. Know your mates

with his share of oil money from my backyard, i guess?

fulanimafia:
I stopped reading when this bigot stated that the North has no mineral resources.

What have you done with the derivation paid? The interventionist agencies? Why is Bayelsa still like an open sore despite all the billions allocated monthly?

Of course the northerner is your problem.

What a pained and ignorant IPOB hack.

Keep wailing.

the same way your almajiri king pin claimed igbos have no other resources except cold

Sir, I want to thank you for your concern about the welfare of the people of the South South by exposing the plans of the Igbos to recolonize the region. But I am worried about the sincerity of these your concerns. Because of these worries, let us dissect and carefully assess your statements of fear and concerns in four (4) segments, so as not to repeat the mistakes
of 1964, 1966 and 1967-1970s till date. In your carefully written letter or chat with the Journalists as reported in the national dallies yesterday, you clearly stated that the Igbos want to;

(1). SEIZE THE ECONOMIC PROSPECTS OF THE MINORITY ETHNIC NATIONALITY OF THE OIL RICH REGION.

Alhaji Ringim, may I remind you that the economic prospects of the South South is currently being seized and controlled by your people of the Northern protectorate of Nigeria. Does that in anyway mean that you agree that your people have colonized my region? Are you also aware that even the oil wells in Abia State, Imo State and Anambra state and recently Enugu State (Igbo land) is being owned by your people in the Northern Protectorate? Are you aware that we in the oil rich region (South South) do not have control over our wealth, and its fortunes are determined by your people? Are you also aware that after sharing the proceeds of oil between your protégés in Shell, Mobil, Agip and Chevron, the left over is given to 44 local government of your state Kano, and only 8 Local government of Bayelsa? How more criminal could that be?

Do you know that even when the Natural Gas from my State Akwa Ibom is used to generate power from my state owned Power Station, that the fraud of a constitution you fostered on my people does not allow me to use same electricity in my state or region, but I am forced to load it into the National grid that sends same power to your home in Kano State?
Have you seen how the United Nigeria is enslaving me? Are you aware that the fraud of your constitution took away the economic prospects of my region by empowering only the Federal government to build roads that your people from the Northern protectorate never built in my state for over 40 years until the coming of our own Son Goodluck Jonathan, when he allowed state governments to tamper with Federal Roads, yet you were busy building all the so called federal roads in your region.

That your fraud of a constitution imposed on us by you and your allies in the southwest took away the power from us to develop on the economic prospects of the region thereby taking away our rights to economic progress for over 50 years. And here you are sir getting worried of what the Igbos will do to my people. Sir, have you been ever worried about what your people have done to my people? How many of my people have you killed in your region? Please tell me the number of my people slaughtered by the Igbos in their land that is enough for me to be weary of them. Remember that these are my neighbors that lived peacefully with us for centuries, shared cultures, intermarried and even celebrated common cultural events before you came with your successful propagandas that deceived our fathers?

(2). COLONISE THE SOUTH SOUTH,
CAPTURE THE REGION, COLONISE THE OIL FIELD FOR BETTERMENT OF THE IGBOS.
Alhaji Sagir Ringim may I remind you that the Igbos are not the colonist as you have insinuated here, but you and your people in the northern protectorate. They have so far not shown the threat to colonize as when compared to your people. It is your people that used the oil from our region to better the livelihood of your people and that of your few allies in the Southwest. It is you that is synonymous with the word
“CAPTURE”. It is your people that kill non-indigenes in your region to take-over their property. Alhaji Sagir Ringim, just in case you think this generation is as vulnerable are our grandfathers and fathers you deceived by your propaganda. You were able to make them see the Igbos as their enemies in the 60s. Please note that this is the 21st century of 2016.
We are aware of these same lies you told our grandfathers and fathers in the early 60s. We are aware that after lying to them that they were different from the Igbos, you still went ahead and killed them in the name of killing the Igbos. We are aware of the devilish, malicious and infernal act you used one of your willing protégés General Gowon to do when you suddenly created the South East State (Today’s Cross River/Akwa Ibom State), Rivers State (Today’s Rivers and Bayelsa state) just to devise the divide-and-rule policy that was advise by the evil British woman just to break the
unity of the region.

We know that is was also based on
Awolowo’s advise that certain parts of Igbo were sliced off, and added into the new states you created so as to weaken any form of unity that could hold. We have also read from a list of newspaper publications from the New York Post of the 60s as compiled by the LOWER NIGER CONGRESS on all the atrocities you committed against the people of the region before your final propaganda to separate them by these
hypocritical lies. And we promise you that even though you used your fraud of a constitution to discourage the study of Nigerian History of the said period in Nigerian Schools, we will do well to expose this events in a carefully Chronicled format for every child/youth of this generation to know the truth. How dare you assume that even in the retard state of your protectorate, that you can conveniently influence the minds of the learned region in this millennium?

(3). BIAFRA IS LANDLOCKED AND WASN’T BLESSED WITH SOLID MATERIALS APART FROM COAL, ADDED THAT THE GEOLOGY
OF THE ENCLAVE CAN’T SUPPORT AN INDEPENDENT COUNTRY.

Alhaji Sagir Ringim, if these are your fears about the existence of Biafra, first of all,are you revealing the fears of your region, the Northern protectorate of the 12 Sharia states or the entire protectorate? You do not have any mineral resources and you are landlocked. Are you telling me you and your people have been so worried of surviving alone hence your insistence of a non-functional ONE NIGERIA PROJECT? Let me explain this to you Sir;

The Igbos you are taking about do not just have a large reservoir of Coal in Enugu that can last for another century knowing that Coal is presently running major economies in Europe, South America and South Africa, the region also has a large reserve of Oil and gas in Abia and Imo state. Oil exploration in Anambra state has also commence and will soon commence in Enugu State. Can you see that your propagandas won’t work as it did in the 60s?
Apart from the fact that your people
maliciously separated the Igbos from their original race to Delta, Rivers and Akwa Ibom states, we at the LOWER NIGER CONGRESS have taken it upon ourselves to expose the malicious schemes of lies you used to separate our region. Your protégé General Buhari made it easier for us on National Television when his hatred for the people overwhelmed his ability to continue in the cover of your propaganda.

He acknowledged the fact that we were all the same people. That notwithstanding, in a matter time, your lies and propaganda will hit the broken bridges of discontinuity.
How dare you generate fears that do not exist for your selfish interest? You must have been thinking how successful your deceitful and hypocritical lies would go in rejuvenating the lies of the 60s.

(4). BECAUSE OF THESE NATURAL
SHORTCOMINGS, IGBOS SURVIVED AS A DIASPORA RACE THAN ANY DOMINANT GROUP IN NIGERIA. THE ECONOMIC PROWESS OF THE IGBOS IS DOMICILED OUTSIDE BIAFRA.

Alhaji Sagir Ringim, this is the most absurd and ridiculous of all your concerns as expressed by your expression of love towards my people in the Niger Delta region. Industrialist do not just sit and lazy about as expected by you. And these were one of the fears and concerned expressed by your late Sultan in a video we managed to see where he was worried about the Igbos in the north. Alhaji, are you aware that your successful brother, Dangote; one of the richest man in Africa, has his economic wealth spread and domiciled outside the Northern region? Or are you in anyway saying that because people
expand, explore greener areas, that
means such an individual has no space in his home? Your points are a bit too ridiculous to have considered as your reasons for granting this interview. Having segmented your major reasons for advising my region to be weary of our Igbo brothers as those that intend to recolonize my people, I stand bold to say that you and your kinsmen are guilty of all your worries. It is also a cause for concern that you and your allies have suddenly decided to worry about the Niger Delta region.

When did you love the region this much?
1. Are you not the same people that
classify us all as Igbos during your killing and butchering spree and largess in the north?
2. How come you are bothered that the people you classify as one when
butchering, are two different people when it comes to owners of wealth?
3. If you could desecrate our land as if we do not exist, come in and take away our oil wells as though it belongs to you?
4. Announce on National Television that the Oil in Bayelsa belongs to you in Kano and Jagawa?
5. Kill us at will if your religion is
disrespected in faraway Norway?
6. Determine for us when and how our
roads are built and how we use power
generated from our resources?
7. Swore over your graves that our our kinsman cannot be President or else you make the country ungovernable of which you did?
Yet you have the guts to tell us to be weary of those that have not in any way attempted to take anything from us by force. I truly hope you realize that this is 2016 and not 1964.

It is best to inform you and all those that have decided to cry more than the bereaved that we are aware that these are the same propaganda you used to separate us, then forced us to continue in this unholy Union. That was a very unfortunate thing to have happened that kept us in this bondage.
Fortunately for us, the UNITED NATION CHARTER ON THE RIGHTS OF THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE is a tool you cannot do anything about. THE LOWER NIGER CONGRESS has taken advantage of these rights and it is set to call for a referendum.
Quit crying on our behalf, we are presently studying the Constitution of which the Region will be built upon and so far, it can never be an evil as the Forced Marriage called Nigeria.
Thank you for your concerns Alhaji and co.

Written By Donald Ekpo

It’s 7.49am today, the 4th of January, 2016, and I woke up from sleep with the buzzing sound of my phone. I was still half asleep when I reluctantly picked the call with a weak “hello”. The caller on the other end shouted, “Deji, you are still sleeping? Nigeria is going down and you are sleeping. Are you aware that Buhari withdrew the budget he presented to National Assembly from Saraki, and Saraki gave it to him out of fear? Deji, as I speak to you, the National Assembly does not have the budget any more. Saraki and Dogara are confused. They could not stand up for our democracy. They have failed our nation. Deji, you people need to speak up before this man destroys our nation”.

How can a President present a country’s budget and take it back? I remember when a dear sister was so happy and optimistic that the 2016 budget was already out before the year started and said “even with ‘world class economist’ the budget usually come long after the year had started”.

Why is the Senate President mute?

You will recall that Nigerians started an online campaign tagged #BudgetOfYams immediately the breakdown of the 2016 budget appeared on the internet which was posted by an online organization @BudgItNg and further confirmed by the Budget Office of the Federal Government.

Suddenly, it appears they have sneaked the budget back to the villa for ‘cleansing’ and corrections after public outcry by Nigerians in what they termed a budget of waste and recklessness. A budget the PDP has termed a fraud that requires a daily borrowing of N5billion Naira to fund for the next one year.

When the budget was analyzed and criticized for not being a reflection of the present economic realities, worshippers of president Buhari resorted to name calling and hurling of insults in the cyberspace. They said their god can never do any wrong, that he can never make a mistake and knew every content of the budget even when the president through his media chat had hinted he has no full idea about the contents of the 2016 budget.

The question here is, who wrote that budget for president Buhari and convinced him to go and read it before the National Assembly and the whole world? Can we say president Buhari is truly in-charge of this nation if indeed the 2016 budget was written without his consent and input and given to him to just go and read? What is happening to our nation? Every foreign investor, business owner, stakeholders have the right to be afraid as things stand. Will it be right now to call our genuine concerns on the issue of budget as “wailing”? Now that the truth is out suggesting president Buhari withdrew the budget back because he could not believe some of the contents he was told were in it at the Media Chat, are we still “Wailing Wailers”?

In a country where even Banks are now struggling to stay afloat, business owners are being forced to close shop, foreign investors are leaving the country, and our economy almost sliding into recession, we need a president who knows the issues and not a president who does not even know the contents of the budget he read before the whole world.

Where are the human rights activists in Nigeria? Where are all our learned men and women who spoke “big grammar” of “Change” during the elections and challenged every actions and inactions of former president Goodluck Jonathan? How can the president of a democratic nation withdraw a budget he read before all Nigerians at the hallowed chambers of our National Assembly in broad-day light but withdrew same in the middle of the night through the back door? Where is the truth president Buhari claimed to have during the elections? Where is the conscience of our Senate President, Bukola Saraki?

Dear Bukola Saraki and Dogara, where is our budget? Where are those who boasted during Goodluck Jonathan term as president that they were the best lawyers in Nigeria? Where are all the patriots who spoke up for “Change”? Where are those very loud and vocal Nigerians in the international community? Where are those who usually scream impunity during the tenure of Goodluck Jonathan? Here is impunity, tyranny and fiscal irresponsibility all walking on four legs right before all of us, and these arm-chair critics have suddenly disappeared? Where are those people who usually quote the laws and all the sections of constitutions to justify their partisanship on matters of national interest? Who will liberate Nigerians from this tyranny? Have you all gone deaf and dumb that you can no more speak truth to power?

President Buhari is betraying the oath of office he took in a very painful manner. Worst still is the inability of the leadership of our legislature to stand and protect our democracy. These are sad times for democracy in our nation.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/01/where-is-our-2016-budget/

searchiing4love:
LIES FROM THE PIT OF HELL. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO SPEND 82 MILLION ON JUST A DINNER AMAECHI IS NOT CORRUPT AND NO MATTER HOW HARD WIKE TRIES, WE WILL NEVER BE DECEIVED WITH HIS WANTOM LIES. BUHARI WILL NEVER APPOINT A CORRUPT PERSON IN HIS CABINET BECAUSE IT WILL EMBARRASS HIS GOVERNMENT. WIKE IS A DROWNING MAN WHO IS NOT READY TO GO DOWN ALONE. GOD BLESS THE LION OF UBIMA

is this the height of your reasoning? you need help, indeed!!!!!!!!!!!

Just as the Nigerian government has made "Nnamdi Kanu" the most discussed person on earth in 2015, that's the man of the year. So also they have made the word "corruption" the most talked about word in 2015. So in order not to be left in the dark regarding these two entities of the year, I decided to look into them to explore their actual compositions.
In several occasions, I have talked about Mr Kanu, now I want to discuss the other "corruption".

98% of us always limit our knowledge of the word corruption to mean embezzlement of public funds by public officials, or siphon of public funds. But it's meaning goes beyond that. A reference to dictionary prove corruption to mean " dishonest, illegal, or immoral behaviour, especially from someone with power" (Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English).

From the foregoing, any person be it the President, ministers, members of the house, governors, Judges or any other public officials who indulges in an act(s) considered to be dishonest (to deceive or to cheat), illegal (not allowed by or in accordance to the law, that's against the law), or immoral (against moral standard or accepted principles , contrary to the conscience) is a corrupt fellow.
So, when we go by this meaning, we will actually tell our government to release people like Dasuki who only siphoned our money and hold such other officials who have deliberately deceived the masses, committed illegal and amoral acts in the course of discharging their duties.

Example of such persons are the president, head of DSS, minister of information. These individuals have indulged in great corruption since their ascendancy to their offices. They have lied to deceive the masses by framing up charges against citizens of this country, one of such deceits is the alleged picture of Nnamdi Kanu caught in a hotel with a prostitute which was, absolutely, a fallacy. But the record was set straight when the original picture was released by IPOB wizards from which they Photoshopped that of Kanu.

More so, this government has committed the highest degree of illegal act ever committed in a democracy in the history of mankind. That's "flouting" the order of a court of competent jurisdiction publicly and being so proud of it. This is what a president of about 200m people said over a live media "if you see the kind of crime these people committed".... So the president now knows the gravity of offense in Nigeria more than the court of law? This is a disgrace to humanity not only Nigerians. So, his refusal to obey the order of the court tantamount to corruption.

Finally, the government is immoral by associating herself with people who have been accused with high rate of corruption, though haven't been completely tried before a court to prove that but the accused are not supposed to have taken any public offices until cleared by the court to be innocent. Such wasn't the case with people like Fashiola, Amaechi, Tinubu etc. These guys issues have been swept under the carpet even when there are facts against them.

Therefore, from all indications, this present administration is more corrupt than the people they are holding hostage in the name of corruption!!

It has been reported that the director of radio
biafra has been granted "bail" in the sum of 2
million naira by Nigerian Government or the Zoo
as he calls it. I am persuaded to ask these
pertinent questions:
1. What crime, offence or illegality was he
charged with?
2. Which court of competent jurisdiction tried his
case?
3. Why did Nigerian government not carry the
public along by at least letting us into the
circumstances surrounding his arrest?
4. Does the DSS have the legal right /power to
grant anyone bail with monetary conditions
without the express authority of the jury?
5. If the last question's answer is no, doesn't the
2 million naira bail sum an indirect way of asking
Nnamdi Kanu to pay a RANSOM to the
kidnappers DSS for his release?
I think someone really need to quench my
curiosity or I will be persuaded to Join Nnamdi
Kanu in calling this political misnomer a ZOO
where illegality is celebrated!!!!!
6 mins · Edited · Privacy:

“If they ever tell my story let them say I walked with giants, men rise and fall like the Winter wheat but these names will never die… Let them say I lived in the time of Hector, tamer of horses… let them say I lived in the time of Achilles”- the Iliyad, Homer. The words of Odysseus in Homer’s epic and ancient poem titled ”The Iliyad” (which in my view is the greatest poem that was ever written and which was quoted in the opening and last scene of the famous Hollywood blockbuster film titled ”Troy”) have always moved me. Those words are deep and profound: they stir my soul and rekindle my spirit. They speak of and reflect the essence of Ancient Greece with its rich and exciting history, its extraordinary heroes and heroines and its all- powerful and all-knowing gods, titans and immortals. How I wish that I could conjure up such great and powerful words about the history of my nation Nigeria and her heroes past. How I wish that the Nigerian people had their own Odysseus’ , Achilles’, Agamemnons and Hectors. How I wish they had their own ancient poets and great thinkers like Socrates, Plato, Aristotle and Homer who could remind generations to come about our past exploits with their inspiring, compelling and historic prose. Yet I look at the Nigeria of today and I am not encouraged or inspired. As a matter of fact I am deeply saddened. I see no heroes on the horizon but only questionable pretenders and fallen caricatures that have sold their heritage and destiny for a mess of porridge and that couldn’t give a fig about what history or posterity will say about them or their country. Many have asked why I should say such things. Permit me to answer that pertinent question by posing a few of my own. I start by asking: is this the Nigeria of Murtala Mohammed and Theophilius Yakubu Danjuma? Is this the nation that helped to liberate Angola, Mozambique, Zimbabwe and South Africa? Is this the nation that restored sanity and stability to Sierra Leone, that brought an end to a civil war in Liberia, that fought so gallantly in Burma and Somalia and that quelled a military coup in Sao Tome and Principe? Is this the nation whose wealth once knew no bounds and whose middle class once owned the finest cars and properties in London, Paris and New York? Is this the nation whose beautiful people once graced the streets of Belgravia, Chelsea, Hampstead and Knightsbridge? Is this the country that once nationalized BP and that gave Margaret Thatcher sleepless nights over apartheid South Africa? Is this the nation that once stood up to the mighty Boers and whose ancestors studied at Oxford and Cambridge as far back as the 1800’s? Is this the nation whose inhabitants and various ethnic nationalities once ruled vast empires and whose progenitors contributed so much to the traditions, religion and culture of Ancient Egypt? Is this the country that once fought a bitter and brutal civil war, yet declared ”no victor, no vanquished” and, in the spirit of love, came back as one? Is this the country which has been through thick and thin and yet whose people remained ever so resilient and always put a smile on their faces? Is this the country where giants once held court and where the greats of old once presided? Where did we go wrong? What has happened to our people and what has afflicted our country? When did our leaders become spineless cowards and deceivers? When did the green white green of our nation’s flag become soiled with human faeces and when was it torn to shreds? When did we shy away from fighting our own battles and prosecuting our own wars? When did we start bowing our heads in shame as events unfold in our country? When did we start sitting down silently as international newscasters speak about our nation in painful, disdainful, hushed and condescending tones? What has happened to the ever courageous, ever smiling, ever confident and ever dependable Nigerian who shook the world with his arrogance and confidence and who spoke of his nation with pride and joy? What has happened to our great army that was once the pride of Africa and that once made us so proud? What has happened to our great intellectuals and our men and women of courage and vision who once, like a collosus, bestrode the world? What has happened to the stubborn and proud yet warm, friendly and profoundly good people that Nigerians once were? What has happened to the people that were once regarded as the hope of Africa and the pride of every black man on the planet? Where and when did we go astray? How and when did it all go wrong? When did we lose our strength, our wealth, our honour and our power? When did we lose our excellence, our confidence, our dignity and our self-respect? When did we become so weak and so helpless? When did we turn into killers, savages and barbarians? When did we become so pitiful that the whole world mocks us and heaps insults on us so easily? When did they start saying that we have ”no serious government”, that we have ”lost control of large portions of our nation” and that we can’t even protect our own children? When did we become incapable of defending our borders and protecting our people? When did we turn into a laughing stock and a reference point for incompetence, stupidity, cowardice, ignorance, evil, cluelessness and all that is bad to the rest of the world? When did other nations start giving us lessons on how to fight insurgency and how to prosecute our wars? When did our people start clamouring for foreign armies to enter our land, violate our sovereignty and march on our sacred soil? When did we start having to ask others to come and solve our local problems? O Nigeria, how are the mighty fallen. Truly ours is a nation afflicted. She is finished and there is little hope of any form of redemption or resurrection. The honeymoon is over and the glory has departed. One hundred years of a forced and failed marriage has ended in a bitter yet undeniable divorce. We have lost it all and there is no going back. Those that wish to break up our nation for sport and bring our people to their knees have had their way. Those that wish to watch us slaughter one another in an orgy of mindless violence and that wish to establish their AFRICOM in our shores will soon be here and we shall be occupied forever. O Nigeria, how are the mighty fallen. I loved Nigeria but now I have stopped believing in her. She is saddled with many different sub- nations that were simply incompatible right from the start. She is plagued and cursed with one particular sub-nation whose ruling elite are dangerous and unyielding, whose guile and deceit is second to none, who treat their own people with contempt and derision, who believe that they were born to rule, who think that power belongs to them, who suppress the religious and ethnic minorities within their ranks and who were taught from an early age that there was none besides them. Those people have killed Nigeria. They and those who have consistently bowed and trembled before them and who have always allowed them to have their way. Our nation has become a cruel joke- she is a maliciously contrived contraption that has shattered many dreams and frustrated many ambitions and aspirations. This was a country that was created for the benefit of just a few at the cost of the misery and pain of so many. I will never accept the idea of living in a nation side by side with religious extremists who slit the throats of children, who habitually slaughter the innocents and who abduct and fornicate with small girls. Animals have no place in the homes of men. It is time for us to stop pretending: let the terrorists and their friends in high places break away and establish their own country where they can marry as many young girls as they please and chop off as many limbs as they want. Let them form a nation where they can stone adulterers and turn women into chattels that are not even worthy of life. Let those of us from the west establish Oduduwa and let us celebrate and enjoy our freedom from the bondage and ineptitude of a cruel failed state that has no soul and that lacks humanity and compassion. Let us be liberated from the deceit that is known as Nigeria: a nation that once was but that is no more. Let us be free of Nigeria: a nation where injustice, evil, persecution, insensitivity, impugnity, terror, graft and wickedness reign supreme. Let us be rid of Nigeria: a country where those of us that had the misfortune of being born on the ”wrong” side of the regional divide or who are adherents of the ”wrong” religious faith are butchered for our heritage and can never be treated as equals. Give us Oduduwa or let us die. Yet we will eventually take our freedom by force if it is not freely given to us. We shall take it by fire: by the shedding of blood and by our own bleeding if necessary. We will take it by fire and by sacrificing our lives if that is what we are forced to do. What we will never do is continue to live in perpetual slavery in a nation called Nigeria that is afflicted with feeble rulers and peopled by religious bigots, sexual deviants and bloodthirsty terrorists. We shall not allow ourselves to be consummed by the weakness and ineptitude of our present- day rulers and the sheer incompetence of those that do not have the courage or the moral authority to crush the beasts that have abducted and enslaved our girls. I have had enough. I say goodbye Nigeria: give us Oduduwa or let us die.

Ladies can you do this?

What does this mean to Nigeria's image

runzlord:
Please [abeg] kindly vote for me here https://mobile.twitter.com/runzlord/status/639602054546255872?p=v
The link to the voting page is in that status, cos I can't post the link directly on Nairaland.

It a a palm selfie contest by samsung.

Na your own pidgin proverb be this?

Pidgin Proverbs
1. Na for old age ashawo dey know the value of
pikin.


2. Woman wey never see problem... Na im dey
still hold breast run



3. Woman wey dey find pikin no dey wear pant
sleep


4. Rat wey follow lizard enter rain, Na later é go
hear am.


5. Na for afternoon dem dey find black goat.


6. Weather hot!! É No mean say fowl go lay
boiled egg.


7. EYE WEY DEY CRY DEY SEE ROAD.


8. Pikin wey him mama back cross water, wey
say him march fish, wetin him mama go march?


9. Small pikin wey dem carry for back no know
say the journey far.

10. Person wey don faint before no be stranger
to death.

11. Person wey chop belle full, no know wetin
hungry man dey see.


12. No be as woman dey close eye enjoy sex she
dey enjoy labour pains.


13. Yansh no get teeth but e dey cut shit.
14. Lizard wey fall from tall iroko tree, if nobody
hail am!! é go hail himself


15. Toto water small, but é reach prick take baff.
16. IF GIRL TAKE HUSBAND DO BOYFRIEND,
She GO TAKE BOYFRIEND DO HUSBAND.


17. Cockroach wey jam fowl, jam bad luck

18. Na cricket tell him children say, No matter
how ground strong, Them no go sleep outside.


19. Pikin wey say him mama no fine they use
style call him papa blind man.


20. No be eye wey dem take chop eba dem take
dey share meat.


21. Person wey use Elephant set trap, na him
know wetin he wan Catch.


22. When Breeze Blow Fowl Yash Go Open.


23. STUDENT WEY READ NA HIM SERIOUS, BUT
STUDENT WEY PASS NA HIM KNOW BOOK.


24. Dem no dey tell tortoise say race don start.
25. Dem no dey tell blind man say salt no dey for
food.


26. Before you see monkey, monkey don see you.
27. Thief wey jump fence enter house where
owner dey wait for am, no go jump again.
28. If pikin say he sabi die, him papa sef go tell
am say him sabi bury.


29. Na wetin dey sweet for goat mouth, Na im
dey kill am


30. If e be like say everybody dey craze" na you
dey craze.
31. Meat wey you dey forbid, no use your teeth
cut am.
32. My thing and our thing no be the same oh.
33. Na happiness dey make prick stnd

franchizy:
Fellow Nairalanders, I have just received information from a reliables source who craved not to be named because he was not in a position to speak for the president Mohammadu Buhari, that the former Governor of Rivers state and the Director General of the Buhari campaign organization Rt. Hon Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi has been penciled for the Minister of Defence.

The source claimed that Amaechi rejected the position of SGF on the ground that he can't sit in the office writing memos for the Federal Government as the powers and roles obtained by SGF in the previous administration are not same as obtained in the president Buharis Administration.

The source went further to claim that Amaechi was on Wednesday screened by the DSS and also he has been screened by the DMI and other security agencies.

The source went further to claim that the motive behind the allocation of the portfolio to Amaechi is to ensure that the APC secures the Governorship seats in the South South states of Rivers, Akwa Ibom and Delta state as there is likely to be a re-run election in these states.

The leaderships of the ruling All Progressive Congress sees Amaechi as a political heavyweight in the region who can forcefully secure the seats for the party and as well secure the region.

On his appointment, all securities attached to the opposition PDP chieftains shall be withdrawn and this will kinda restrict there movements to some places during the campaign of the PDP candidates.

We can now is the politics is a good calculation and for the fact that the PDP does not control the military, police, DSS, any re-run will be a litmus test for the party.

If Amaechi is finally appointed the minister of Defence I sincerely doubt the chances of Wike returning to power in the event the his election is nullified by the tribunal.

For those on ground in Rivers state, not the Nairaland chest beaters, without a Federal might, Wike has no powers to withstand a free and fair election.

The PDP never saw this coming and this will serve as a lesson in the future for our political parties.

Long Live Federal Republic of Nigeria
Long Live PMB
Long Live the Lion of Ubima
Long Live Tinubu
Long Live APC

CHANGE CHANGE

Just one sentence- Text "APC LAI" to 419 to win "A MISSING PLOT
OF LAND IN PORT HARCOURT"

oluvick:
Majority leader of the House of Representatives,
Femi Gbajabiamila, says there wouldn’t be an All
Progressives Congress, without Bola Tinubu.
Gbajabiamila stated that Tinubu was used by God
to bring together all the components that make
up the ruling party.


He said this during an interview on ‘Straight Talk
with Kadaria’ where he talked about the crisis
that emanated from his tussle for the Speakership
of the House of Representative with Yakubu
Dogara.


Gbajabiamila was asked whether he shared the
widespread belief that he lost due to the revolt of
some members of the House of Representatives to
Tinubu.


He responded saying :


“We have heard this and we have always heard
about Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu. Its such a
shame that in this country, that is what we have
to say about somebody who you know, like it or
leave it, without Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu we
wouldn’t have an APC today.”


“He is not God but he is a vessel God has used to
put that party together. He has put in his sweat.
He has put in his money, He has put in his
intellect, he has put in his energy. For those of us
who know, he was the bedrock of the party.”



http://ynaija.com/femi-gbajabiamila-bola-tinubu-apc/

Text "APC LAI" to 419 to win "A MISSING PLOT
OF LAND IN PORT HARCOURT"

Dear MTN, I will not go and re-register my line. You can fool everyone if you like, you might have fooled me before, but you would never fool me again. The only reason while you continue to pull the wool over our gullible eyes is because the consumer rights’ protection agencies are either in the vegetative state, or completely dead. How can you explain a situation where you would tell your millions of teeming subscribers to register their SIM cards and provide the necessary bio-data, only for you to wake up one morning to tell us to go and register our lines again WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXPLANATION? It beats my imagination and it defies not just logic, but also philosophy. Were you drunk when you were registering our numbers? Did a malicious virus wipe your entire database? Maybe I’m giving you too much credit sef. You probably wrote the records in books like an ancient bookkeeper and a giant yellow rat ate them all. Whatever your reasons (or lack of reasons) may be, this is beyond ridiculous. I have always maintained an MTN line because apart from being my very first line, most of my close associates also use MTN. To some extent, the coverage is also extensive. I didn’t hesitate when the directive came from NCC to register our lines. I braved the queue, registered my line and collected my security number. Didn’t I try enough? Looking back, I can deduce that my attachment to MTN was more sentimental than practical, as your tariffs are the highest for calls and for browsing. You send an average of 100 spam texts per day, enough to run down a Blackberry battery and more than enough to give any Osun State government worker waiting for Aregbesola’s alert acute hypertension. Your nuisance value knows no bounds. Even Airtel that has been passed round different investors more times than a devil’s mail bag has not come up with this kind of Grade A foolishness. What the heck is wrong with you? Don’t your customers mean anything to you? Doesn’t it bother you that Nigerians who wasted their time to register their SIM cards have to do the same thing again? You haven’t even deemed it fit to fine-tune the process. It doesn’t make sense to preserve bad experiences like these, in very much the same way that one relic of history is preserving mud huts, and stating them on an assets’ declaration form. My records are not on your database, but you remember my number when you want to tell me to text ‘APC LAI’ to win a missing plot of land in Port-Harcourt, right? May heavy-duty thunder fire all of una. I really don’t blame you. If Nigerians had run your devious, xenophobic, exploitative, heartless, opportunistic, fraudulent ass back to South Africa, you wouldn’t be here making them queue desperately like migrants. What’s to say that there wouldn’t be another sham registration in the next couple of months since you guys obviously don’t know what you are doing? If you block my line, you’ll be helping me. Prior to your ridiculous directive, I had already banished your yeye SIM card to a barely functional phone. I have even borrowed the maximum permissible amount. Go ahead, feel free, block away. It sure feels great knowing that when I eventually toss the phone into the trash- can, I won’t have to take out the SIM. Good riddance to bad rubbish. You deserve to be sued for every fraudulent penny you’ve ever made on our shores. Thanks to other service providers for making sure that your evil dream of becoming a monopoly will forever remain a demented hallucination. There are so many fishes in the ocean. I will not tolerate your recklessness any longer. Peace at last.

I love this and I thought sharing it with you will make you feel good. A professor was teaching about Proverbs 15:1. He asked his students, why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset? The students thought for awhile. One said,because we lose our calm. But the professor asked again,why shout when the other person is just next to you? Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you are angry? The students gave some answers but none satisfied the professor. Finally,he explained, "when two people are angry at each other, there is a distance in their heart psychologically. To cover the distance,they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are,the stronger they will shout to hear each other through that great distance. Then the professor asked,'' what happens when two people fall in love? They dont shout at each other but talk softly,why? Because their heart are psychologically close. The distance between them is very close.The professor continued,"when they love each other even more,what happens? They don't speak, they only whisper and they even get closer to each other in their love. Finally,they even need not to whisper,they only look at each other and that's all...so next time you shout on a loved one know that you are creating distance between your heart and that person's heart. Proverbs 15:1 says gentle answer turns away wrath,but a harsh word stirs up ANGER...

laudate:
Ehn??! "...Competently mesmerize the court.." like how?

ROFLMAO!! Guy, you never start! What do you think all those grey-haired judges have in their brains?? Do you think they got to the bench by 'being mesmerised?' And they continued earning their pay, by 'being mesmerised?' Chukwu biko!!

I guess you have a parochial knowledge of the word mesmerize or mesmerism otherwise you wouldn't assume I meant casting spell or some sort of magical manipulation on members of the jury. Consult your dictionary for update, please. No vilification or slight intended!!!

Obrigardo:
Case Closed



Please Use Google, I don't know what else you want to know or contact Femi Falana

Google has not provided any useful tips so far, hence I resorted to this forum

yanabasee:
OP you haven't given me much reasons to give u any admonition of what u should do...
.
.
Why do you want to file a case against the company?

Of what offence have they committed?

I can only give u my two cent's worth and support if you'll give me the reasons to do so... Else, I'll say you should backoff as your 50million won't take u a long way... MTN signed a 50million contract with Davido and they've got many other endorsed celebrities worth millions and billions of Naira... So ur money will not go anyway as ur solicitor will be paid tripple of what you'll pay him and he'll lose the case and u'll not cough an air.

Buying my barrister with money? I know it's possible but I think that will not deter me. I HAVE A VERY GOOD CASE, I AM VERY SURE OF THAT. I won't disclose it here for whatever reason cos I don't know who is reading.

Please, if you really wanna help, limit yourself to my stated areas of perplexity

laudate:
What exactly are the issues you have with them? Does it have to do with a service failure, or termination of employment?

If it has to do with service failure on your network, then please file a complaint with NCC (Nigerian Communications Commission) which is the regulatory body of the telecoms industry. If there is merit in your complaint, they can wade into the issue to either mediate or sanction the telco.

You can also lodge a complaint with the Consumer Protection Council (CPC). They can also intervene on your behalf.

If your grouse with them has to do with termination of employment, then please look for a lawyer versed in labour laws who can advise you appropriately. If your firm has a staff union or association, then they can take up the case on your behalf.

Anyway, please remember that lawyers have different areas of expertise. You have the good, the bad and the downright ugly, too. Do your search and check their reputation, before engaging one. Also, ask around for the chambers of those advocates that have taken silk (i.e. Senior Advocates of Nigeria: SAN)

If you are destitute or financially handicapped and they believe you have a strong case, they might take it on as a pro bono case, without charging you anything at first. However, some of them will tell you that they will take a fee or percentage, out of whatever amount the judge awards as damages against the telco, in your favour.

Thanks for your input. I don't mind giving away reasonable percentage of the likely awarded damage but all I want is someone who can competently mesmerize the court so that we can smile to the bank. I don't want to disclose the nature of the case in any public fora for security reasons but I am sure I have a good case

mymadam:
Present your case (idea) at the nearest Legal Aid office (free). Try some 'activist lawyers' too. Who knows, one of them might fancy him/herself as Gani Fawehinmi reincarnated! Good luck buddy! I'm on your side but... in case of cash-flow, be ready to foot the bill. Deal?

I am very much aware of legal aids and activists but as they say 'free things dey purge', I don't know if they will attend to the case with same zeal as paid advocates.

I intend to institute a legal action against one of the telecommunication Giants in Nigeria for violating my fundamental right as a customer. But I am scared because I don't know how much the litigation can cost me. I therefore need an advice from legal luminaries in the house on what I am likely to spend on a 50 million naira suit against the company. My most area of concern is on filing and service charges as well as what a competent advocate is likely to charge. A breakdown will be very useful.


I need to have a clue of these as well as others I don't know before approaching a lawyer. I don't even have or know a lawyer for now. Please, help a brother!!!!!

Moderators, please do the needful.

SOME of us must be familiar with the poem: The
Six Blind Men of Hindostan by JE Saxe. These
curious blind men went to learn about the
elephant. They had to “observe” the huge animal
by feeling with their palms the part of the body
they found themselves touching. The first one
touched its side and shrieked: “bless me, the
elephant is very like a wall!”
Another one felted around tusk and said the
elephant was “very like a spear”. Another touched
the ear and said the elephant was like a “fan”.
The one that touched the trunk said it was like a
“snake”. Another touched its leg around the knee
and declared it “very like a tree”. Last of all, the
blind man that touched the tail said even the
blindest man would know that the elephant was
very like a “rope”. Now concluded the poet:
And so these blind men of Hindostan,
Disputed loud and long,
Each with his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And each was partly wrong.
The blind men of Hindostan were driven by the
genuine motive of learning. But some Nigerians,
blinded by hope (or justification) of presidential
favours lie without shame.
President Muhammadu Buhari has taken nearly
100 days to appoint about thirty inner members
of his government. He has appointed the National
Security Adviser (NSA), Service Chiefs, his Chief
of Staff, Secretary to the Government of the
Federation, Director General of the Directorate of
State Services (DSS), “Acting” National Chairman
of the Independent National Electoral Commission
(INEC), Comptroller General of Customs and that
of Immigration, MD of Assets Management
Corporation of Nigeria (AMCON), MD of the
Nigerian Ports of Authority (NPA), Presidential
Spokesmen and handymen, GMD of the Nigerian
National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) and the
lot.
Given the fact that “97%” of these appointees are
from the Arewa Muslim North, Buhari has
completed the “Northernisation” of the Executive
Branch of Government.
He already had in place, his men occupying the
high and juicy posts of Head of Service of the
Federation, Accountant General of the Federation
and Auditor General of the Federation to sew up
the Federal Bureaucracy. What remain now are for
the Minister of Petroleum Resources (which he
has signalled his intention to assign to himself)
Minister of Finance and Attorney General of the
Federation. Thus the economic and financial
resources of the country will be in Arewa hands.
Now, let us also bear in mind that, already, the
Federal Legislature (Senate and House of
Representatives) reflecting the character and
complexion of the ruling All Progressives
Congress (APC) is already led by Northerners. On
the other hand, the Federal Judiciary (Chief
Justice of the Federation, President of the Court
of Appeal and Chief Justice of the Federal High
Court) is also completely dominated by Arewa.
You are left to wonder: where are the other
Nigerians? Nigeria has never, at any time in its
peace time history, been lumbered into this
extreme nepotism and sectional lopsidedness,
even in the darkest days of Buhari’s first coming
as a military ruler.
Unfortunately, the “blind men” of Nigeria are
justifying it! Professor Pat Utomi applauds, and
tells Buhari to put only people from his village in
the entire government if he likes and there is
nothing wrong with it. Festus Keyamo concurs.
Last Monday, former Governor of Akwa Ibom,
Obong Victor Attah, visited Vanguard and told
Nigerians to first ask Buhari why he was doing
this before criticising him. He forgot that Buhari
already did so when he addressed a press
conference while in America. He made it clear he
was going to form his government based on a
warped “97%5%” formula to ensure that those
who voted for him were adequately (some say
“parasitically”) rewarded.
APC says the number of appointees so far is
“insignificant”, given the vast number offices yet
to be filled. They want to deceive the gullible, but
when you consider the picture painted above of
the entire machinery of the federal government
already filled by one section of the country, you
will realise that anyone appointed from now
henceforth will be like an “observer” among the
“owners” of the government. It is the
appointments that are yet to be made that are
actually insignificant in clout compared to the
powers of those already installed in office.
Presidential spokesmen say Buhari appointed
“those he knows who have worked with him for
years”. He is unfit to be a Nigerian president if he
has no associates from outside the North, even
as a party leader, retired general former head of
state!
The Presidency also says the posts were filled
based “purely on merit”. And I ask again, what
standard of “merit” was applied which the South
East failed so woefully to meet? Did they use the
Arabic language or Islamic paradigms to do the
evaluation? A section that consistently scores the
highest in most entrance exams and tests cannot
find the “merit” to get even a seat, while the
sections that consistently bring the rear
overwhelmingly outperforms the entire South!
Some “merit”!
Buhari has made himself a president of the North.
He has “Biafranised” the South East. It was only
during the civil war that Dr. Ukpabi Asika, the
Administrator of the East Central State, was the
only Igbo man from the East in the government.
Buhari has brazenly defied the Constitution of the
Federal Government of Nigeria 1999. Section
14(3) says: “The Composition of the Government
of the Federation or any of its agencies and the
conduct of its affairs shall be carried out in such
a manner as to reflect the Federal Character of
Nigeria and the need to promote national unity
and command national loyalty, thereby ensuring
that there shall be no predominance of persons
from a few states or from a few ethnic or other
sectional groups in that Government or any of its
agencies”.
We warned about candidate Buhari during the
campaigns, but most people refused to listen!
However, for Buhari, the “honeymoon” is over.

www.vanguardngr.com/2015/09/buhari-the-elephant-of-hindostan/#sthash.F8CwJ0yd.dpuf

In this interview with ENIOLA AKINKUOTU, Afenifere chieftain and Chairman of the defunct Presidential Advisory Committee on National Conference, Senator Femi Okunrounmu, speaks about President Muhammadu Buhari’s recent appointments and the National Conference report You, along with other leaders in the South, under the aegis of Southern Nigerian Peoples Assembly condemned President Muhammadu Buhari’s refusal to implement the National Conference report. Do you think he won’t implement the report? The President is doing just what we had predicted that he would do. Those of us who believed that only former President Goodluck Jonathan was committed to implementing the resolutions of the conference made it clear before the elections that if Buhari wins, that would be the end of the recommendations of the conference. We predicted this and shouted from the rooftop but the people knew better and they have chosen him. So, I am not surprised that he is not keen on implementing the resolutions. We support all the measures taken by Buhari so far, like the war on corruption but we believe that if we implement the report of the National Conference, the tendency towards corruption will reduce permanently. You just commended Buhari’s anti-corruption war which has revealed some corrupt practices under Jonathan and yet you supported Jonathan’s re-election. Why did Afenifere support a corrupt government? The truth is that corruption was a way of life to all previous administrations. However, it became pronounced and institutionalised under Ibrahim Babangida. He made it a national culture and then his successor, Sani Abacha, took it to a higher level and then Abdulsalami Abubakar. It kept on getting worse, including the Olusegun Obasanjo regime. So, we are not saying that Jonathan’s regime is not corrupt but we are saying corruption is not the only problem. If we are going to tackle corruption, let us do it holistically and really begin from Babangida’s regime because all the characters of that regime are still alive. The evidence of their corrupt acts is still available like the Haliburton scandal, the report of the investigation that was conducted is still on the President’s table. All those involved were mentioned and the bribes they took. The report has been available long before Jonathan became President but nothing was done. So, what we are saying is that corruption has always been entrenched in our government and to blame Jonathan for it is unfair. If you remember how Umaru Yar’Adua and Jonathan got into power, in fact, they were funded by the most corrupt governors in the PDP at the time. Most of the governors that sponsored Yar’Adua were the most corrupt and had even been indicted by the Nuhu Ribadu-led Economic and Financial Crimes Commission and the commission had given the report to Obasanjo. Obasanjo then blackmailed those governors to shelve their presidential ambitions because he wanted to impose Yar’Adua and he made them to fund Yar’Adua’s campaign. And you know when a person is funded by corrupt people, how can the person turn around and fight those same people? When Yar’Adua got to power, the closest people to him were those corrupt people who funded him like James Ibori. They were always dining together at Aso Rock. No court in Nigeria could jail Ibori for corruption. It took an English court to find him guilty. So, when you owe your electoral victory to those corrupt people that funded your campaign, it would be too much for you to fight them. So, that hampered Yar’Adua and Jonathan because their administrations were products of corruption. There has been much talk about the President’s appointments in favour of the North. As a Yoruba man I am very uncomfortable with this. Buhari had a reputation for ethnic bias and when we said it during the election, they said we were lying. The change the APC was talking about meant two different things. The APC in the North saw change as an opportunity to return power to the region while those in the South- West were looking for genuine social change. At the end, the North just used the South-West to climb back into Aso Rock But with Tinubu as the National Leader of the APC, he should be able to protect the interest of the Yoruba people. Tinubu’s story is like Afonja in Ilorin in 1817. Ilorin used to be under the Oyo Empire and was the headquarters of an Oyo General, Afonja. But Afonja rebelled against the empire and helped bring about its collapse with the assistance of the Fulani. Afonja was assisted by Shehu Alimi, who was a Fulani leader. In 1824 Afonja was assassinated and Alimi’s son became Emir and Ilorin became an emirate of the Sokoto Caliphate It was naive of Tinubu to think that Buhari would just get power and he (Tinubu) would become the kingmaker of Nigeria. That is what Tinubu expected and that was why we kept reminding him of the Ilorin episode. We told him that once Buhari got power, he would turn around and just forget about him and implement a northern hegemonic agenda which Buhari is doing now. In 1960, the Sardauna of Sokoto, Ahmadu Bello, made a statement publicly that the northerners should regard Nigeria as their conquered territory and that they own Nigeria. He said the entire South-West and South-East should be regarded as conquered territory and that the North should never allow the South to govern. This statement was widely reported in the media. It was in the West African Pilot of October 12, 1960. The quote was boldly published. So, the keys to the chains of slavery we thought we could use to break free were just given back to the North by the APC. The APC became an agent of oppression and enslavement. We can all see that Buhari only tricked Tinubu to get power back to the North. But under the APC, the South-West produced the vice-president and some could argue that under Jonathan, the South-West was not even in the corridors of power. First of all, a vice-president has no power. A vice- president can just be sitting at his table and be reading newspapers for four years. A vice- president in a presidential system anywhere in the world does not have any powers. Even in the American system which we copied, most people do not even remember who the vice-president is. Even when Jonathan was the President, what powers did his deputy have? Nothing much. So, stop saying we have the vice-president. We Yoruba are very educated and we shouldn’t be fooled so easily. Even look at the 36 state governors and their deputies. How many deputy governors have power? The relationship is the same between the President and his deputy. The vice-president is as powerful as the President wants him to be. If the President doesn’t want him to see anything happening, he cannot see anything and he has no choice. So, being a vice- president is not anything to be proud of. Look at the power configuration in Nigeria today; there are three arms of government: The executive, the legislature and the judiciary. The executive is headed by Buhari who is a northerner; the two arms of the legislature which are the Senate and the House of Representatives, are headed by northerners: Bukola Saraki and Yakubu Dogara respectively. The Chief Justice, Mahmoud Mohammed, who heads the judiciary, is also a northerner. So, the entire government is completely in the hands of the northerners. To compound it all, look at all the appointments that Buhari has been making. About 90 per cent of his appointees are northerners. In the first appointment he made, eight were from the North while only one was from the South. Subsequently, he made about 30 appointments and only six are from the South and the rest from the North. And if you look at all the important offices today, they are all in control of the North including security agencies like the Comptrollers General of immigration and customs. Even those surrounding the President personally are all northerners except the Senior Special Adviser on Media, Femi Adesina, who is in charge of polishing Buhari’s public image. So, is this the change we were asked to vote for? I am sure this is not what Tinubu had in mind and this is what we are getting. Southerners have never had it so bad in Nigeria. We have a President whose plan is to extend the Fulani empire to the South and to the Atlantic which has always been their goal. What is the next line of action for the Yoruba race? What we must do is to put on our thinking caps. We have been led astray by Tinubu. Tinubu did all this for his own selfish agenda. We all know what he did in Lagos but because he has so much money, whatever he says is believed hook, line and sinker. We must educate ourselves and use our brains. I have never hesitated in telling people that Tinubu is not the right leader for the Yoruba race. He is not truthful and that was why Gani Fawehinmi took him to court.

www.punchng.com/politics/buhari-tricked-tinubu-to-get-power-okunrounmu/

The title of this piece is a copyright from Aisha
Falode and her team of co-presenters of
“Amazons”, a magazine programme on African
Independent Television. The phrase was the topic
of the episode aired on Friday, August 28, 2015. I
watched the fascinating edition and therefore
decided to share my perspective on the issue with
a wider audience. In the episode, Nigerian
designer wives was the ascription given to
married career ladies who are trendy,
sophisticated, and cosmopolitan but deficient in
culinary prowess. They are women who are well-
read but lack the ability to manage the home
front. They rely heavily on house-helps to clean
and cook thereby outsourcing crucial matrimonial
duties.
Ace actress, Funke Akindele, in one of the recent
episodes of her highly entertaining TV drama
entitled “Jennifer’s Diary” featured a character
that best describe Aisha Falode’s Nigerian
designer wife. The lady couldn’t cook nor do any
household chore and only tried to do them when
she was about losing her fiancé to another
woman.
Is it not shocking that this country now has a
sizable number of married women who cannot
cook anything beyond noodle? There are even
some of them who cannot boil water let alone
egg. They have been so pampered that they do
not know the way to the market and if they do,
they don’t know the recipe for soup making; how
to identify good fish or meat; which yam is good
for pounded yam and which one is good for
porridge; how to bargain, etcetera.
There are many ladies in today’s Nigeria that hire
people to go to market for them. Thereafter, they
go for their cookery book for guidance on how to
go about preparing their meals. Some who
couldn’t cook order large quantum of prepared
food and soups from restaurants which they take
home to refrigerate and microwave when they
want to eat or entertain visitors. Some don’t even
bother themselves going through all that stress,
they simply eat out.
These designer wives do not know how to sweep,
wash plates and clothes, mop the floor, dust the
furniture, iron clothes, arrange the home and tidy
up their environment. While some of them make
heavy investment in purchasing washing
machines for their laundry; some others hire
people to do their home cleaning. Some do most
of their laundry at the dry cleaners. All these are
done at great financial and social costs.
What then do these designer wives know how to
do? Oh, a lot! They are fashionistas and are
specialist in the use of information and
communications technology. They are connected
to all the social media and can ping and chat
from morning till evening except when they are
busy at work. They regularly upload their latest
pictures on their social media accounts such as
Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. They also are
good at watching the latest movies and films on
satellite television. They have favourite soap
operas they cannot afford to miss on terrestrial
TV. They know all the major characters in
Mexican soaps, Nollywood and Hollywood. They
like to gossip and as such spend quality time on
phones chatting up friends, colleagues and
relations. They also love cars, customised, posh
wonders-on-wheel, with which they cruise town.
Above all, they like to party. In order to outshine
their peers and friends at social functions, they
spend fortunes acquiring the latest designer
dress, perfumes, jewelries, wristwatches, hats,
headgears, sun-shades, cosmetics and so on.
They are generally power dressers! They adorn
themselves with artificial eyelashes and nails as
well as padded brassiere (if they are not well
endowed with mammary-gland).
They are the typical women who pay attention to
their looks and spare no expense to look good.
They are the ones who go for tummy tuck, breast
enlargement and plastic surgeries just to look
elegant. Some of the designer wives also spend
time exercising and keeping fit. They diet a lot.
Because they do not want their breast to sag,
they often don’t spend more than a month
breastfeeding their children. In short, designer
wives want to be complimented as being sexy
and gorgeous.
The sad thing is that these designer wives hardly
have successful marriages. Though they may
have elaborate, talk-of-the-town weddings, their
marriages easily crumble like pack of cards as
their husbands face the reality of marrying wives
without proper home training. They often engage
in shouting matches with their husbands as they
bicker and nag over improper home management.
Even where the husbands are accommodating
and tolerant of their wives deficient domestic
skills, their family and friends often kick over the
mistreatment meted out to them when they visit.
How can a wife who cannot cook offer her
husband’s family or friends’ food when they come
visiting? Well, except someone offers to do it on
her behalf or she goes buying it. Some of these
wives, who depend heavily on hired female house
helps to assist with cooking and cleaning, have
had their husbands snatched from them. After all,
it is said that the way to a man’s heart is
through his stomach.
The worst part of this sad saga is that women
who do not know how to do house chores cannot
impart such skills on their children and wards.
Thus, we are gradually raising multiple
generations of women who though are bookish
and are accomplished professionals, lack good
moral and cultural education to create happy
homes. What a pity!
Incidentally, as there are designer wives, we have
designer husbands. These are husbands, who love
the good things of life, are trendy, classy, power
dressers, cannot do a single house chore nor help
out in child rearing and parenting. There is
nothing wrong in a man being highly
domesticated. Thanks to my mum. She thought
me how to cook, wash and do all domestic
chores. I recall that in those days, while growing
up in the ancient city of Ibadan, mother insisted
that we, all her children, should learn how to use
the grinding stone to grind pepper for vegetable
soup and porridge beans. I and my sisters took
turns to do that. My home management skills
came handy in my undergraduate and post
graduate years as well as during my bachelorhood
as I was able to do my house chores by myself
including cooking my meals. There should
therefore be no gender discrimination when it
comes to domestic duties.
For the designer wives, especially those of them
who wish to learn, the good news is that some
women who saw the knowledge gap have decided
to do something to help their fellow women. One
of such is Mrs. Ope Tejuosho, who has set up a
school in Lagos to educate women on home
management, cooking, etiquette and so on.
According to her, while featuring on the “Amazon”,
some mothers and husbands have been enrolling
their daughters and wives respectively in her
school. Apart from catering schools, there are
also television programmes where women and
men alike can learn culinary skills. In closing, our
parenting responsibility is incomplete if we do not
give our children life skills in home management.
All mothers and indeed fathers need to do
something about this before their daughters get
thrown out of their matrimonial homes.

www.punchng.com/opinion/nigerian-designer-wives/