₦airaland Forum

If she really call your Dad and you are very sure she cheated then divorce her ASAP. when i mean very sure is, She Did the act not speculation.

chazon:
Am in my 30’s, My wife and I have been living in separate locations about 4yrs now. With intermittent visits 3-4months intervals.
Few days back wen she visited, I exchanged one of my new fones with her so while I was checking out the fone so I could delete some stuff and familiarize with the fone(her previous fone ,now mine)I casually stumbled into her FB & WhatsApp and saw sex chats with different men including her ex. This will be first ever I would be checking her SM, calls, SMS or whatsoever.
When I confronted her with these evidences, she rather than apologize to me, began guilt tripping me with how she’s been ignoring my own philandering (but no evidence, she’s just basing them on speculations).
She dragged the fone in a bid to snatch it from me at the Mall in public.
I told her point blank how disappointed & angry I am and am separating from her.
I arranged for for logistics to take her to our house in the town she stays.
She’s called my dad. I have no idea what she’s told them, but I got evidences.
We do not yet have a child together.

Did I overreact??
How do I deal with this situation
Mature advices will be appreciated from experienced people

how long is the bleeding if it above two weeks is abnormal but below likely normal.

ojobolinda:
I remember how happy I was when I found out I was pregnant!. I hurriedly went and registered for antenantal and I carry out my first Ultrasound same time and it shows 6weeks gestational age which was accurate based on my calculation of my LMP.

After 2weeks and some days, I started having light bleeding and I rush to the hospital to know what was wrong because I try to eat healthy and also try not to stress myself so what is happening?!!. The nurse i met ask me to go for another Scan to be sure the baby is Ok. I went for the scan and that was how my world came crumbling down on me.

Based on the scan result, my baby stopped growing at week 6, I am already 9weeks gone while my baby is still measuring 6weeks just like the first scan I had, and BLIGHTED OVUM was written as the cause. After 2 day, I went to another diagnosis center and was advice to evacuate because I have missed abortion.

I did the D&C a week later and it was painful because I wasn't given any analgesic... My problem right now is that I have been bleeding since the D&C and it comes with cramps at time. The first 2 days, the bleeding was light but now its looking like my normal period bleeding with little blood clot.

Before you advice me to go to the hospital, I have... The Doctor wants to observe me for a week and then give me injection to stop the bleeding but am feeling is not proper, the bleeding should stop by itself if its just ordinary bleeding, why injecting me to stop it

I will be going to the hospital tomorrow to take the injection, pls I want to know if that is the right step to take and has anyone had same experience?

So he should die for his mother

onlysose:
In fact this guy don spoil my -day. YOUR MUM IS LAZY!!. Do you know what it takes to concieve, give birth and train a teen age child ? if you give her all your wealth you have not done one hundredth of what she did to you.

Your mum need a doctor

lordfemzy:
Hello friends,

I am please asking for all the genuine help i can get right now to deal with an issue that has tormented me all the days of my life. I am open to criticism if it comes my way.

Situation: my mum (biological mother) is extremely lazy, lacks discipline, difficult to advice and very manipulative. However the laziness aspect is my main issue.

A brief history of myself, i am currently in my late 30s, firstborn and only male, with 2 sisters also in their 30s. I have been managing her case for the past 30 years since our father passed. I should mention that her mental health isn't that perfect and she suffers breakdown at least once a year whenever she misses her drugs. The nature of her breakdown is that she will keep on talking about most events from the past and view them in a negative way, she gets violent at times and uses foul words while cursing anyone who she thinks has wronged her. I pray non of us reading this will experience this in their families.

The chaos we experience whenever there is a breakdown is something i don't wish for my enemy at all, the effect is draining financially, emotionally and in various other ways you can think of. Infact looking back i owe God a lot of gratitude for the strength and courage he has given me and by extension my sisters in managing her very tricky situation. The shame, embarrassment, wasted time and efforts, lost opportunities that have come with her condition can only be imagined. I have had to sleep over at the hospitals various times whenever she's on admission running into weeks at times, i have had to represent the family at functions she was suppose to attend but due to ill health. I was lucky i didn't fail any of my last papers in Uni cos she was on admission, i missed a second class upper courtesy of my mums condition, the only 2 courses i ever failed in my 4 years at the Uni can be linked to her condition. I had to practically plan and organise a wedding for our last born cos she was on hospital bed. Some of her breakdowns happen whenever an occasion or celebration within the family is about to happen... my 21st birthday, final exams leading to graduation in uni, weeks to my wedding, weeks to her second born wedding, a whole month to our last born wedding, funeral of her mother in law, funerals of our grandparents, her own 60th birthday... the list is so long and at times i almost consider it spiritual but i am better informed.

In the last 2 years or thereabout i have been able to connect a few dots and patterns based on what i have experienced and seen. When my mum and her siblings (five) were being raised, the kind of family setup was such that cousins, distant cousins and relatives lived with them. This was because her late dad was a University lecturer, probably the 1st in his Hometown and granny was a primary school teacher, you know how it was in those days. I was able to understand that my mom and most of her siblings except one practically lived a life free of stress cos they had other relatives who were willing and at disposal to do major chores and take up responsibilities at home, they sort of lived a carefree life. I have stayed and lived a couple of times with these other siblings of my mum due to various reasons like holidays from boarding school, moving to another location for job opportunities etc.

I can practically tell from what i have seen with this people. All her life, things were being done for her and she's just free to do anything she wants apart from chores. Even her building project though her own money and sweat was an initiative of her late parents. They were practically her project manager and support system throughout their lifetime. Its a good thing to do but not setting limits and not being hard has it own detriments eventually, cos till date she's entirely reliant on anyone available to do even the simplest of chores. Let me quickly breakdown some of her acts and attitude which is very injurious to her own health.

1. The first on the list and perhaps the most annoying one is her laziness and OMG it reeks to the heavens. She avoids responsibilities and doesn't do house chores and generally procrastinates. My mum will use the toilet in her room and even living room and not flush properly on a constant basis. She does this even when she travels elsewhere. My mum can eat but cannot wash her plates and utensils, she will leave her plates in the living room for days or just anywhere, pots will pile up in the kitchen and will not be cleaned until every other option is exhausted and a new meal must be made. She will not lay her bed or change sheets constantly. She doesn't dress smartly and lacks good wardrobe management. She doesn't sweep, her corridor may not be touched in weeks same with other rooms in her apartment. Shes doesn't bother if she's unkept. Whenever she eases herself, due to her carefree attitude she will leave stained urine on her clothe and she will wear this throughout the day causing mayhem wherever she goes. Just add anything you can thing of as examples, you will find it with my mum. The annoying thing here is that if you advice her or suggest a change, she will rebuke you and tell you your are insulting her.

2. She's carefree and lacks good financial management. She earns well over 100K per month as pension and if we calculate her expenses per month she should have over 30 to 35k as savings. You can never account for how she spends her money! 10 days into a new month, the money is gone. Most times her friends abroad send her free money from and she will just squander the money on frivolities. She has a small shop that she runs, but for her to even stock the place sef na issue, she doesnt have a separate account for business and no stock is taken end of month or at least a quarter. We actually warned her against the line of business as its very common and the profit isn't much. We have practically considered her carelessness, carefree attitude and inability to keep things safe and warned against the shop idea. In the last 3 years she has lost 2 phones of high value. As if she likes to brag, whenever shes having discussion about money that is in her favour, maybe salary or someone abroad sends her money, she will begin to speak at the top of her voice such that an average person passing round can almost get full details. We have severally warned her against this but no luck at all. The consequence is that she has been defrauded a couple of times, you can act as a fake customer care agent of any bank and ask my mum for sensitive details like card number, password and she will give you immediately without a second thought despite the fact that she has been warned repeatedly. As a matter of fact she doesn't listen to her children's counsel or advice, but anybody from outside will give her advice and she ll make us of that one. She once told me off that i am not in any position to advice her that shes older than me and it should be the other way round. But when all the shit happens yours truly will be the one managing d situation.

3. She's manipulative. My mum is a master in this game and i am ashamed of her actions. I can't even mention some of the things she has done to my wife and I on this platform. She lies, deny incidences and things she has said. About her drugs, there is just one rule, do not skip any of morning or evening doses. Whenever she does she will never own up to you and when the effect is now seen, she will still try to cover up by saying she can't remember.

4. She's unforgiving. My mum is the last person you want to offend, even things that shouldn't be considered will be used against you when the time comes. For instance my mum may give someone raw food out of her own freewill or maybe the person asked for it, but months from that time the story can change that the person is the one stealing raw food or looting her house.

I apologise this is a long read and i can't even explain a quarter of what is going on at the moment, but the summary is that her laziness and lack of motivation is driving me nuts, i always have to bear and manage the consequences whenever shit happens. Its not easy for me cos i have my own family to manage and the responsibility is killing. Currently her househelp resigned 2 months back and the house has been a mess since then, she does practically nothing. I have been attending a workshop for the last one week and heard she's been feeding on puff puff and cornflakes every other day without making stew or soup and eating real food. This is a woman that money on her, even if you are lazy to cook, why not indulge yourself and patronise eateries till you have motivation to enter kitchen. Why not even make an arrangement for someone to come cook food for you everyday amd pay the person weekly or daily. We have to think for her and suggest things that require no initiative in most cases. I had to go and buy beef and made blended stew for her last weekend for example to motivate her amd assist like i always do. When i got back the following weekend, the stew wasn't even half used and there was mould on it indicating that she never cooked a serious meal, she was probably buying bread and removing the meat until it finished and lost interest in even heating the stew to warm.

Its more like if i don't do things for her, she will make herself fall into a state where she will enter deep sickness or starvation or depression such that people will see me as a bad person if anything sould happen to her. Already she has created that impression and she's living the lifestyle. Its been two weeks she's has remained indoors for no reason, no opening of shop, no cooking, no cleaning, no laundry, no strolling out and always expecting unknown help from anywhere it comes from. I have told her to pick herself up that help is something we must give ourselves. I have to go out to work daily not sitting down to baby sit my mum who is not an invalid. Her body is complete with no defects but i can't just help her laziness and attitude anylonger, its choking for me and i can't take ot anymore or do more than i have been doing. I have literally carried this woman for the most productive part of my life and done nothing wrong just loving my mother unconditionally. I have come to a point where i have to move on and break some unnecessary connections for my sanity and future of myself amd immediate family.

Please help and advice me guys on what to do. When she not in good health mentally na wahala and serious commotion and when shes stable, i have to battle with laziness, constant manipulations, carefree lifestyle, lack of discipline and vision and lots more. I have endured these cycle for too long. Also note that my sisters are married and are not even available at all, one is overseas and the other in a faraway state. I may not have touched some areas cos the issue too plenty but if questions are asked i would digress into it and share details truthfully. God bless

Moderator Sir/Ma, i beg you to help me push this to front page. I am not feeling good at all. Thanks

Refinery are repair by those that built them even saudi arabia does not fix theirs unless they want push our money there in the name refinery refurbishment.

ManirBK:
https://leadership.ng/nigeria-to-seal-refinery-deal-with-s-arabia-h1-2024-despite-skepticism/

Abracadabra Justice system they will also be the victim of what they created..

I believe doing good to all your Neighbour and every human you come in contact with as possible as you can will make the world a better place. Religion separate but humanity and science bond

mekleelex200:
Sometimes I wonder when this madness will stop, just ordinary negotiation will end everything so that this blood shedding will stop.

I don't belong to no party in this fight because neither of them is right. For most Muslims, they will be happy when the Israelis die but most Christians and Jews will be happy when Palestine dies. No winners and losers, just accumulating packs of bones and overfeeding the earth with manure (matter).

I believe in humanism, which is my religion. Why can't we live peacefully with one another, later will be calling ourselves the most intelligent and advanced creation but we just are like clowns 🤡 in a circus.
DAMN!

You dehumanize Christianity but you propose no concrete alternative. When it comes to religion Christianity is the best

Someone else will nack your wife real good look out for it

Taylor94:
Asking a married woman out


Shebi they said fvcking a married woman brings bad luck abi na only for Africa e dey happen


Remembered one time I toasted a married woman she didn’t even tell me she was married


I later knack her several times till she told me she was actually married


Omo the fear of badluck make me go use one liter of fuel wash my penniss

He won't run the evidence from his school will be so damaging

Breaking

Tinubu will not run in 2027

LegendHero:
Lol. This is the game Tinubu is playing:

—The final day for Atiku brief of argument at the Supreme Court is sept 28th.

—From what I’m seeing, Tinubu lawyers might file the reply that same 28th for this Chicago court and by then Atiku no go fit include any new evidence in his Supreme Court filing. Even tho technically, Supreme Court shouldn’t accept new evidence.

—After the 28th would have passed, Tinubu will now allow Chicago state to release his certificate and etc.

Like that Atiku could have wasted all his effort. People that are novice won’t understand Tinubu game.

Do you trust the police, what if Malians contacted them to do a shoddy job for them

FreeStuffsNG:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2023/09/breaking-mohbads-autopsy-completed/

If you want justice go to court the police will also give justice abi i lie.

A Leading DNA test results carried out recently shows that about 60% of children were not fathered by their fathers what does that suggest.

saphiere:
Stories of men sleeping with their house helps and even impregnating them is not new to us.
Why do men indulge in such act?
If you must cheat as you men do saying it's men's nature to cheat. If you must cheat why should it be the househelp?

Nlfpmod please I need answers

Why do women like fucking drivers and gate men same reason men slept with house help. Immaturity in the mind

saphiere:
Stories of men sleeping with their house helps and even impregnating them is not new to us.
Why do men indulge in such act?
If you must cheat as you men do saying it's men's nature to cheat. If you must cheat why should it be the househelp?

Nlfpmod please I need answers

THIS IS PAINFUL, GIVE HIM LAST RESPECT BUT WAS GIVEN LAST DISRESPECT

I love them to put on hijab express no panties

You killed her libido through undernourishment

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

You are crazy young man WHAT IS SEX when she gives you almost everything a man needed. those children you had is it not through sex you had them, you dey mad ooo. your are earning 700k and you are giving her less than 100k for food you are starving your family. at least 25-30 percent of your salary should go for feeding. you want to Bleep her when you dont feed her well is that not madness

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

You guys thought every criticm is an attack.
He has edited it and has makes it more comprehendable.

helinues:
If all dreams came true, na everybody for rich in life but it just seems there are some factors which gives nods to whatever we wish.

I am still wondering why some people would be taking loans for unnecessary things like wedding, party, phones, electronic gadgets, abeg seh you go fit eat those things by the time you exhausted the little money you are able to make all in the name of paying ridiculous interest on loans.

Living a fake life would lead you to be borrowing money unnecessary. The annoying part about this loan or borrowing of a thing, it has spoiled so many relationships as the borrowers dont most have any intentions of paying back.

Stop taking loans unnecessary, live within your means.

Express way of life is wide enough for overtaking but over speeding could be dangerous.

Agberos (Area boys) always show themselves even though we are not in the motor park.

helinues:
Put on your glasses and read again.

Na oroki some of you want to sell. The main topic, none of you have responded to it but instead doing petty gossiping

Eish

Read it again and tell me what he meant.

helinues:
Typical average Nigerians. Of all the message passed, na borrowing loans blunder be some people's headache not even the consideration of the message.

To err is human, no biggie

Tueh

It has been long i have been looking for this color, DM me

amanda2013:
Haba the mistake was not INTENTIONAL

What is borrowing loan?

helinues:
If all dreams came true, na everybody for rich in life but it just seems there are some factors which gives nods to whatever we wish.

I am still wondering why some people would be borrowing loans for unnecessary things like wedding, party, phones, electronic gadgets, abeg seh you go fit eat those things by the time you exhausted the little money you are able to make all in the name of paying ridiculous interest on loans.

Living a fake life would lead you to be borrowing money unnecessary. The annoying part about this loan or borrowing of a thing, it has spoiled so many relationships as the borrowers dont most have any intentions of paying back.

Stop borrowing loans unnecessary, live within your means.

Express way of life is wide enough for overtaking but over speeding could be dangerous.

A LONG TIME FRIEND AND SHE IS LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS HMMM. I AM NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD HAVE MAKE LOVE TO HER BUT SHOW SOME SIGN THAT SHE IS LOVABLE AND LET HER KNOW THE REASON WHY YOU DONT WANT TO TOW THAT PATH WITH HER AND USE KIND WORDS TO LET HER KNOW HOW STRONGLY YOU VALUE HER FRIENDSHIP. YOU MISS AN OPPORTUNITY TO BE A REAL FRIEND FOR A WOMAN.

MikeofKd:
I had this girl visit me some weeks back, we are long time friends. She came and we gisted and vibed but at some point she started giving me massive and heavy sexual green lights.

I did like I didn’t understand any of those her sexual tactics until she grew tired and left lol. I realized after dat day she ignored my messages and calls. Not surprised.

In As much as I love sex ,I’m also very cautious of who I sleep with , some women would destroy your whole life through sex , dis one isn’t Nigerian movie it’s ducking real . If you share your body with just any woman as a man then your seriously doomed.

Cause normally why would a woman be pissed dat I refused to sleep with her , if she didn’t have diabolic motives ? It’s crushed her ego and she felt bad. Her seduction couldn’t work on me lol cause I sensed her evil intentions.

So ladies why do y’all get mad when a man refuses to sleep with you ?? I mean u should be happy u meet such kinda men cause they are usually very rare, but y’all get mad instead why

File Photo (for illustration)

Why are you guys overrating Moyo Olosho is Olosho they do it for the money.