₦airaland Forum

olawalebab:
On a serious note, How long should it take a lady before she say yes to a proposal.

that is relative. dat would depend on d individual. experts opinion needed

Seems we know what many people want in their spouses,

Now ladies, if u find a guy with the Qualities you want, would you ask him out?? if not, why wouldnt you

and

Guys, to what extent would you go to make that lady yours?? and how best do you think that should be done

so, i went into one of my old lecture notes nd found ds( God bless my teachers!)

manners of approach-

*someone speaks wv d woman on behalf of the man (dats like d alarina style of the Yorubas )- ds happened when the prophet Married Zaynab. It is said that Zaid conveyed the message to her.

*Man goes to the lady himself - Fatima bint Khais's case was the reference. .She went to the prophet to tell him of three pple who had asked for her hand and asked the prophet to help her choose after which he told her to marry Usama bin Zaid for Ma'wiyya was poor nd Abu Jam was fond of beating.

*Lady approaches the man - Khadija bint Khuwaylid asked for the prophet's hand. Also, a woman came to the prophet and said O Allah's apostle, I have come to give you myself in marriage. . .(vol.7, book 62, number24.)

and also

*Man asks the girl's waliyy(but of course! marries her only wv her consent) - the prophet asked Abubakr for Aisha's hand in marriage.(sahih Bukhari vol.7, book 62, Number 18)

I think lady can send someone to the man too. . .

_not every of us would like these although Islamic!

I hear

but shorties like tall guys too oo. abi u'r a different one

mukina2:
i am just 5 ft 2

not too short, shortie LOl

mukina2:
tall girls plenty for hia, short guys needs love too jor

short girls shld subscribe plssssss! lol.

zayhal:
Thank you, thank you my children.

Well, I used to pray for a pious partner as top of my list. Other qualities I wanted are:

*Tall (I'm tall myself)
*Dark
*Goodlooking
*hardworking
*should be in the science field (so it'll be a good blend for the kids, me being in humanities)
*very romantic (yeah, alfas too can/should be romantic)
*down to earth
*Firm (should be a man in every sense of the word, taking decisions, saying things and meaning them etc).
*Social but not extremely so.

These are the ones I can remember at the moment.

Did I get all of these? Nearly but definitely not all. The truth is that there is more to an individual than the list we all put up to look for in our ideal man/woman. Even when we get most of these things on first glance, as time goes on, we discover traits and characters we may or may not like but which we have to put up with anyway.

In my opinion, two things are essential to make a relationship work to the end: piety in both parties and deep, mutual love. Every other requirement fall under these two.

me like evrythn on da list.

and i agree wv d bolded. Some compromises would be made eventually.

mukina2:
yes oh
i even thought you were older that aunty fayezik .
i once read your post where you said television was not for you

and she once said she wldnt take someone wearing shorts seriously and the type of car wldnt matter to her and I thought 'dats grand ma talking'

d word 'bwoda' is quite magical.it can change him into a real one.

donno wat to make of this actually. u carry out a research many of the time because u av an hypothesis u want proven. I am not a scholar nd in no position to disprove your facts but i'd rather look into the miracles spoken to us in the Quran and those related in ahadiths with their confirmation by modern science.

Allahu a'lam

ehyaaa! dr used to b a grandma here. thought u'r d one.no vex pls.

Q. 30
*what surah of the Quran talks about the dwellers of the cave
*for how long were these ppl in the cave
*what other stories are told in this surah
*relate this surah with yaom al jum'ah(friday)

bwoda Adetoba,

toba:
FYI shes taken already

yh she is. I hope she can share with us from her fountain of wisdom.

olawalebab:
Are you sure?

she's a grandma mind yu.

zayhal:
Wow! Where have I been?

@deols, you always come up with interesting threads. I've really enjoyed reading through.

thnk u thnk uu.love u love u!

am always interested in d social life of Muslims. .In d future,I'll really like to invest in dat. .look out for me

toba:
where are all the other muslima apart from adeola and mukinat?

u'r not alone in ds .hope ur aim is pure sha

I was hoping for more responses sha.   anyways, ds is mine-

deols:
Seems we know what many people want in their spouses,

Now ladies, if u find a guy with the Qualities you want, would you ask him out?? if not, why wouldnt you
                                 
and

Guys, to what extent would you go to make that lady yours?? and how best do you think that should be done

if asked about two yrs ago, i'd av sed yes, but really I wldnt av done it. It was just a time when I blvd life shldnt be so difficult.

But now, Its a NO No. because d ffg may happen

Guy: knows d girl likes him already and instead of all the accolades that every woman enjoys during d chase nd just after d marriage, he treats her like, I 'own' u already.

Family, friends, in-laws--these pple must not know she askd hm out o. d day dey av a fight, d first thn they remind her of is how desperate she was dat she had to 'ask him out.

girl(herself): anytime guy does somethn she doesnt like, even if he wld av done same to anyone, she believes its not his fault. . .if oly she had not asked him out'

maclatunji:
@bolded. there is no specific answer to this. Some guys walk straight down to her and say, Salam Alaykum, my name is ,  and I like you, can we be friends?  Others will not say anything until someone suggests that the 2 individuals are compatible and they should give it a thought. It may be that the lady knows the guy is not involved with anybody and she really likes him and goes to him and says: I really like you and I know you like me too, can we make this work?

It may also be that by interacting together at school, work or within the community or a group chemistry develops between the 2 and before they know it they are a couple without asking each other out in the first place.

It may be out of pity or gratitude for an act of kindness from one of the parties that they end-up together.

Whatever it is, I think until you ask yourself: what do I want in a potential wife or husband? You are still floating like a balloon and not headed for any specific direction if you have not answered this question.

After you have answered that, you would then need to ask: Have I met anybody with this attributes?

Then ask: are they available (not married or engaged)?

Then ask: Am I able and willing to settle down immediately?

If you answered yes to the last question, you can now approach the person by proxy or directly in a civil and courteous manner. In terms of dressing, I don't think any sister no matter how religious will disqualify a suitor just because he wore shirt and trousers. Proper dressing is relative but at least it should fit the circumstance you find yourself; be formal when you ought to be formal and be casual when it is not repugnant to be that way (Nobody should blame you for wearing football shorts- with your navel to knees covered when playing the game or wearing slacks when doing some work that requires such).

It should be noted that a man may be responsible and want to settle down but he does not have economic power to take care of himself yet not to talk of a wife. Would you advise the guy to focus on other things or start seeking someone tentatively? Perhaps, he might find somebody who is not quite ready too but will be there for him at such a time that he would have overcome some of his economic challenges?

Personally, I think the latter is not a bad idea provided that he lets her know from the onset (Look, I like you but I am broke at the moment. I am hardworking and responsible, pray for God to bless me and you will not regret it- Insha Allah!)

hmmn, good job there.

check this out, u might find it helpful

[url]https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-735029.0.html
[/url]

Ds is really bad. VEry devastating.

Q.29
which is d longest verse of the holy Qur'an

Shameful!

the worst part of it is the children are very uncomfortable in those rags

Ramad-amnesia is a condition affecting millions of Muslims in the UK and around the world yet there has been very little resources invested in diagnosing and treating this illness. It is highly contagious and can be contracted through speech, action and even thoughts. The source of the outbreak is usually a blow to the head or an excessive Eid hug which causes the sufferer to forget every important lesson learnt in Ramadan. This temporary state of amnesia can last for eleven months until the next month of Ramadan where the sufferer enjoys a temporarily relief from its symptoms, only to contract the illness once again at the end of Ramadan. Hence the cycle of eleven months of suffering and one month of relief continues year after year, often with the sufferer living in self denial of their condition.




culled from

http://www.islam21c.com/spirituality/236-ramad-amnesia?utm_source=Islam21c&utm_campaign=f115c0a287-i21c_july_37_17_2011&utm_medium=email

posting in the wrong section for the second time,

May Allah reward the Ustadh.

Muslims have always been proud of one thing- that we all stand up in the presence of Allah in the same way and manner without any discrimination

but I have always wondered how top government officials are given spaces in the front row even when they come late for Jum'ah prayers. In fact, I

saw with disgust in a news paper the then governor of Osun state, Oyinlola occupying the first row, while observing the prayers with Muslims( a

political act). Also, the yidi ground in Ibadan has a raised part(the only cemented area) where the 'big people' pray during Eid. I really dont know how

these things come about. Why are the Imams allowing these and what does Islam actually say ?

I'd appreciate answers please!

maclatunji:
I think the best way for a guy who likes a girl is to let her know politely. Then, he should let her know the basics about him and why he thinks she should give him a chance. When 2 people from different backgrounds try to build a relationship they should be open and try to build trust. @Deols, its been a hectic day, will keep in touch.

Politely? fine.


But,my question is a reference to the question a brother asked under the title, salam sisters!,here- https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-711214.32.html

how exactly do you think a guy should approach a sister, what should he say? wear? and act like?

olawalebab:
waiting for the ladies respomse.

waiting for your response too

good suggestion, i gave it a thought too.

Ramad-amnesia is a condition affecting millions of Muslims in the UK and around the world yet there has been very little resources invested in diagnosing and treating this illness. It is highly contagious and can be contracted through speech, action and even thoughts. The source of the outbreak is usually a blow to the head or an excessive Eid hug which causes the sufferer to forget every important lesson learnt in Ramadan. This temporary state of amnesia can last for eleven months until the next month of Ramadan where the sufferer enjoys a temporarily relief from its symptoms, only to contract the illness once again at the end of Ramadan. Hence the cycle of eleven months of suffering and one month of relief continues year after year, often with the sufferer living in self denial of their condition.




culled from

http://www.islam21c.com/spirituality/236-ramad-amnesia?utm_source=Islam21c&utm_campaign=f115c0a287-i21c_july_37_17_2011&utm_medium=email

Seems we know what many people want in their spouses,

Now ladies, if u find a guy with the Qualities you want, would you ask him out?? if not, why wouldnt you

and

Guys, to what extent would you go to make that lady yours?? and how best do you think that should be done

olawalebab:
Will not mind A lady with these qualities

Religions
Intelligence
Beauty
Good Attitude

good,

Ase bobo yi o ti e le.