₦airaland Forum

I was just learning more about this..



I actually thought ojude oba was something I could attend until.a discussion at the moderators section where I heard plenty drinking and dancing to all kinds of songs is done.

I like the cultural display though and I like the history behind it. That it brings families together is something worthwhile too.

Looks like one with great tourism potential

Amin o. You can also do any of these for yourself before you die.

Essence of going early for the prayers.

Putting emotion aside and speaking that what truly is expected is something that is bit more intellectual..

and maybe some people who are showing that they are also intelligent might come and answer these questions.

I mean emotions aside, ileobatojo, can you answer these questions..

A. This matter is a case scenario..let us see how intellectuals on NL can find solutions to it

1. The girl is at large. Let us assume she is hiding in an uncompleted building somewhere. Now, what should she do?

2. The man is dead. What should his family members do?

3. What should happen to the 2 children in this marriage?

4. There are many other young girls married to older people. What should be done about them now?

5. There are so many girls not in that kind of marriage yet, but are potentially to be married of. What can be done about that.

6. What is the best thing for an abused spouse, whether male or female to do?

Intellectuals look for solutions and not rant nor talk out of emotions..prove your intellectual prowesss.

I can't even put UJu to the challenge..hehheheh..it is hard to put uju and intelligence in a sentence *vomits*

carefreewannabe: 1. I should be asking the question how a "supposedly educated" woman can even think that child marriage is ok??
2. Child marriage IS a BIG PROBLEM!! A marriage between a CHILD and an adult is wrong in all respects!
3. I will not explain why it is wrong because others have OBVIOUSLY tried to explain why it is wrong BUT the "supposedly educated" person fails to understand which psychological and physical damage is done to those girls in the name of culture!. As if culture is more important than a child's happiness and life.
4. Some cultural practices are debatable! This one is not! There are adult men f...... CHILDREN ! You can't justify EVERYTHING in the name of culture. If that was so, then we also need to understand and accept female circumcision, the killing of albinos and much more.

Next time, you take your precious time to reply, respond to the points I'm making instead of insulting me and repeating yourself.
Tolerance for other cultural practices is right but not if These cultural practices violate a child's rights!

Now tell us, would you let your daughter sleep with a man old enough to be her father?
Do you think a 14 year old girl enjoys sleeping with a man old enough to be her father?

I'm still waiting for your answers.

Don't ask me what I'd do with my daughter..I am 20+ and I am not married and probably wont be for at least 2 yrs..

I know that you are missing the point. I didnt say that I support these kinds of marriages. I am just saying that no one gets to judge anyone else for the life they choose. You are probably not as enlightened as they are of all the psychological and all that that you mentioned above..


If you can take the time to read my posts again, you might understand better. But do I need your understanding, NO.

If you still dont get my point, who cares..



an example is this-
when someone asked about premarital sex on here not long ago, many people said it was ok. I said it wasnt. I realise that they made their decision based on their understanding of what is wrong or right and I based mine on that as well. Either of us on both sides could think the other was wrong but does it matter, No.

But if anyone in my circle of friends, with the type of upbringing, and social life that I have had, disagrees with me, it would become a thing of great concern.

My point is,like I said, this topic is not about child marriage but murder. Child marriage at least, was not a problem with the girl, and possibly othrr people in her community and even some well known personalities in Nigeria. The problem right here, with the Op of this thread is Murder and should be treated as such..nothing else but murder.

ileobatojo: Oh spare me the bs! Are you still here trying to claim that your community medicine posting made you an expert on child marriage? That's where you learned that there's no reason to stop child marriage? In MED SCHOOL? You're a joker.

PSM/CM is the simplest course in med school. The reason people prefer to focus on other subjects is because it's so simple, they are pretty much guaranteed to pass it.

And please while we're on the subject of 'intelligent' responses, please share with us your reasons for supporting child marriage one more time?

I know that you have a selective reasoning capability!!!

you are soo retarded( that you think everything happens like it does at your backyard everywhere else.

First, you claimed it was for a month and now you are actually asking me if the posting was all?? dumbasss.

Why would I answer your questions when you cannot even imagine anything differently from how you know it. Did you seriously not read the training and travelling parts. Gullible people like you aint worth a dime nor a fraction of a second of anyone's time.

I could even bet it that I'd never have a reason to meet your type let alone have a talk.hahha..you should thank NI

Unreasonable, pathetic, unintelligent LIaR. some at least lie with some sense in it.

I know you jobless housewives of Nairaland would be back..

I'll get busy with my million dollar job and priceless life but anytime I get a little time to be back here, I'd whoop your asses and expose your dumbness in its fullnesss.

Until then..keep wallowing in stuupidiityyyyy.

Ujujoan: Look at you, trying soooo hard to appear intelligent . . . and failing woefully at it!

Please leave Madam Jide out of this biko . . . she's busy flexing life with her lovely girls and DH while you are here venting your frustration on gullible Nlders!

If you've got anything to say to me, say it and stop fishing for supporters.

It's amazing how someone with such low IQ managed to get access to the internet to spew trash, when more intelligent people are wasting away selling tomatoes in the market. Such an unfair world!

You can talk your rubbish on other threads, but when you see my username on any thread, watch what you say . . . . . a word is enough for the wise (not that I expect a deranged f00l like you to understand )

Oh! You have a distorted reasoning is why you think I brought her into this. To support me with her nobody ID or what? You are soo dumb that I am starting to vomit!!!!


Soon, the likes of you would be sent packing for the simple reason of being so dumb, uncultured and stupiid. Do you 3v3n remember the reason community got into this matter. Or you think everyone is talking about it, you also had to.

I know you stink! I can tell it. and please go get some waxing...and also do something about your beard!! ewwwee...did someone not teach you feminine hygiene? oh Gosh what a Sissy married you in all of these 'feminine' elements of yours.

Ujujoan: Where do they get these people

Seriously, what kind of distorted environment were you raised? "I'm soooo intelligent that I aced CM" . . . . do you even know how ridiculously pathetic you sound

With all your assumed 'exposure' you still stay here and defend child abuse on the basis of god-knows-what! Are you so blinded by your perceived intelligence that you have lost the basic ability to empathize with people's predicaments

You sound sooo disgustingly annoying talking about geographic location of institutions when you obviously lack the very basic common sense.

You should just take a moment and . . . . STOP!!!

You are so dumb that you want dumber people to accept what you'v written.

Again, I did not say that child marriage is ok. But a child who kills someone for whatever reason has consequences to face.

Obviously you lack the intellectual compass to reason out my post. Maybe you should get back to secondary school and take a subject called English with Emphasis on comprehension.

It is like your dumbness in a count were brought on this thread.



hahhahahhah..did you use basic with common sense
You are a stupidified human being.

ileobatojo: Ok, I'm bored now.

#paraphrasing is not lying.

What I can't understand is why you keep on yapping about the other thread (yeah the same one you stopped replying me on and now claim I ran away from)? Why are you in pain that I linked a public post on a public forum? If you're ashamed of what you said there why not go back and delete your posts? And if deleting all your dumb posts would be too much of a chore, why not push the deactivate button? I didn't insult you on this thread before you started jumping up and down like a monkey, all I did was state a fact and post a link to back up my fact. If you're ashamed of yourself, feel free to say so. I bet many child brides would appreciate that.

You are a Pathetic LIaR. So, paraphrasing to your gullible mind means claiming that I quoted something that I did not quote?

Now you'r happy you got like minds to type gibberish??

sorry! I am not bugged. not for a second. Next time you think of lying, think it through and at least try to be reasonable at it.

You must actually be dumb to think that I care that you linked my posts. I dont do things that I am not ready to take responsibility for. You must think that everyone is like you.

Liar, admit that you lied and move on...to somewhere called Yaba.

ileobatojo: Oh! My ribs!! Rotfl Bwahahaha!

Someone, pleeease tell me I didn't just read this mess!

Oh, so in the 1 month you spent in community posting, you and the members of your set made novel, groundbreaking revolutionary advances in the lives of the villagers that the medical students in the sets before you didn't think of and that the sets coming behind you can never surpass eh?

So you did your outside posting in the village for 1 month like the remaining hundred and something members of your set and suddenly, you are the master of every community problem in Nigeria?

You aced PSM? The simplest course in medical school? And that's an announcement worthy of praise?

'Chile', go and sit down!!

Your brain cells are being eroded. I get it. and some 3idiots liked your post so you think you are reasonable.

I knew you could never think beyond what happens in your village. Or how else does someone with an Iq of at least two digits assume that everyone must have studied in Nigeria.

and that everyone must have had the one month course.

That everyone is geographically limited and are not in institutions that allow them go far and wide.

No wonder you could not reason my points out.

oh do community medicine, which your dumbness called PMC is very simple. Of course it has to in your locality where you would rather face that course than the more scientifically advanced aspects of medicine.

People around me actually find CM not easy because they'd rather focus on dissecting and using microscopes and clinical examinations that if you do ace community medicine, you must have aced the others.

But do the likers of your post realise these blunders.

How very good it would be, when this section gets purged of the follow follow mentality.

Ujujoan: Spoken like a truly deranged f00l!

You are irritating jor so get lost.

I remember your to and fro with jhidegirl..You have always appeared as someone from the gutters. Now jhide left. Her posts appear as Nobody and probably you feel like a champion...we'll see.

I just wonder who the person silly enough to marry your type is. are your children still running around in rags because you are too busy frowning over your computer to have their time..

aww..I am irritating? hahahh..I said you must never use the word derange and then you thought it goes with the word, foool. That must be my fault.

dolt!

carefreewannabe: As much as you are free to have your own opinion, everyone else here is free to have their own.
As much as you don't agree with me, I have the right to disagree with you.
You play the tolerance card: They do something CULTURALLY, so everyone has to respect it!
If that is the case, let us practice female circumcision in the name of a culture.
Let us stone adulterous women to death in the name of culture.
Let us kill albinos in the name of culture.

It is not right for a grown-up man to sleep with a 14 year old girl.
How many of these girls enjoy it, what do you think? Pregnancy or not, how many of these girls enjoy it?

Tell us!

I dont know how supposedly educated people fail to comprehend. Obviously you all got into attack/defense mode because of what you think I was driving at.

I did not say that these things are ok..I didnt say that I support them. If you can point out at me supporting them, then do so.

What I said is, the marriage is not the problem but what happens in it and I gave examples of people who had such marriages and have it good and those who have your supposed right one and who were abused still.

I also made it known, that no one can claim to be right or wrong because as you see the practices as wrong, so do they see yours as wrong. Now you will not force your thoughts on them if you have not educated them to see things your way and then decide to make the changes.

My opinion is scholarly driven whereas all the others on here have been doing is riding on emotions and making general statements bout how these marriages are bad.

Sade Okoya married the billionnaire..Ojukwu married Bianca..These two women seem happier than Frank Edoho's ex wife..

so again, try to look at issues from a holistic perspective.

ileobatojo: Bwahahaha!!! Someone's trying to grow a backbone, innit?

Dude, the senselessness of your positions on this thread and that one is apparent to any one with an iota of common sense. I don't need to do anything further, you have already exposed yourself as a halfwit.

It's so darn hilarious that you feel you are expressing a more educated position than those who 'swallow everything in textbooks and from the UN' (evidence based by the way) when your 'educated' position comes from swallowing and regurgitating hook line and sinker everything from the Koran including child marriage. Did you say you 'reason beyond'.....? Please. Stop making me laugh.

Of course you had to mention the Quran. Do you feel educated that you wrote it as koran. Cos a really educated and reasonable person would call it what the people who use it call it.


But you are also a LIAR because not once did I mention the Quran on that thread nor on this. You want to use a diversionary method of attack. So it can become a Muslim versus Christian thing and your fellow Christians may not reason but just follow in your silliness.

Now, what intelligent remark have you made on the subject matter. Do you even have any to make? It looks like you agree to your intelligence being low and is the reason you brought the other thread and have now started to lie. Did anyone teach you anything about LIE ing??

pickabeau1: hahahahahha


deols i laff at your level of i-dont-know

U call me a zombie for saying that a 16 year old bride is inappropriate

Oh boy eh,,, wetin persin no go see for NL

U are in a ur late teens or early 20s and not yet married yet because of your "enlightenment" believe that a girl barely men.struating is fit enuff to be a mother IN THIS TIME AND AGE

Ok o..... I am sorry u were not born in Yemen or in the north where u would be ready to be a grandma now.... e dey pain me ooooo

I wish God/Allah/Oluwa had not made that kind of mistake... choi

Biolabee, take this response of mine as a honour.

I stopped to think of you like you'r a man since I have noticed how you post. I have never read an original thought of yours on any issue. You have always tagged behind others.

Someone like you can not possibly understand how to reason beyond your nose.

I did not say that they should have children. But if early marriage is what they do culturally, you can at least start with teaching contraception, making education attractive, dealing with poverty etc and such customs would phase out.

I study community medicine as a course in medical school. I have been engaged in so many community visits to rural areas. I am trained on dealing with natives and how to get people to change their harmful cultural practices. I have given talks to villaagers and have travelled far and wide. and you know what, I ace this course.

So, if at all anyone is knowledgeable about early marriage, and dealing with it, I probably am the only one on this thread. It will take you'all anothing to ask relevant questions from someone who knows and stop spreading your ignorance.

The worst of people are those who know not but think they know. I have honoured you all, by giving valuable talk on something that'd earn me good money in the future.

You should count yourselves lucky.

Ujujoan: Why was I wasting my priceless time nah . . .

She's obviously deranged.

Uju or whatever your name is, dont you ever use such words as deranged to address me again. Trust me, the last person you want to have a battle of words with is me.

Give yourself some respect!

Or I'll teach you how to do that.

ileobatojo: Uju, you are on a long tin o, the person you are arguing with is a long term fervent supporter of child marriage and her reason is so as to prevent premarital sex. Very disturbing indeed. Here's our previous 'conversation' about that.

https://www.nairaland.com/1364942/dokubo-underage-marriage-right-muslims/8

Of course you are not an intellectual par with me. All you do is run on emotions without making any sense. For you think that is how you get judged for making a point. You dont draw out pros and cons to a situation nor give any reasonable way out.

I am single and 20+yrs old. I would not rush into a marriage. It does not mean that I'd just run mouth over those who do.That is the simple statement I was drumming into your heads on that thread. Realising your intellectual lowlessness, you had to give up. Knowing that is not working for you here, you try to find a way by bringing the thread up again.

Okay now, try make a tiny little bit of ense!!!.

Dantedasz: @Ile,
Are you like this in real life or you just get it off misleading young ladies?

@ topic,
You do the crime,you got to do the time. SIMPLE!

oh yeah! especially in Nigeria.

I wonder if they've been beating their husbands up in self defence..

You'd know their violent lot by their comments..

very funny. she gets a medal for killing someborry..like seriously?

pickabeau1: see defense of child bride by educated women....


LMAO...


Zealotssss

Actually, if you are talking of educated women on here, I will, with my shoulders up high, raise my hands for I have received a very good education in all kinds of discipline.

How you know that the education is good enough, is that I can reason beyond some 'rightists' notion of what is right or wrong. I give a cultural context to dissecting and solving issues and I do not, ever join the bandwagon.

So, you see, there is a big possibility that you even have the wrong idea of what a good education should be like. You probably think it is about accepting the UN resolutions and living the life of an 'educated' zombie who can not think beyond what is being dished out as right or wrong by some textbooks or a main stream media.

Joke is on the likes of you man.

Dantedasz: I just love the women in this section of Nairaland. Lets play a little game and juxtapose this case-if the husband had stabbed the wife-would the posts on this thread carry the same tone/message?
Yes,this man was a brute who inflicted violence on his wife. He might have been a craddle snatcher for marrying a sixteen year old girl and turning her into a child bearing machine,but did he deserve to die from his wifes knife like a chicken? NO!
She had no right to take his life and this can be termed premeditated,cold blooded murder.

at least someone gets it. oops!!

carefreewannabe: The fact that such mariagges are common in Nigeria doesn't make these marriages right.
Any 35 year old man who sleeps with a 16 year old girl is a pervert.

and that is your opinion. At least it is not hers or her parents nor the man she married's. That obviously shows that your opinion does not always count.

I wonder why the matter has to be about her age and not about abuse or murder.

If the 35 yr old man has a 30 yr old wife, there is no guaranty that he would not abuse her. The banker who got killed and whose story has been here all the while is not 16yrs old. she was much older and she got into an abusive marriage.

and there are others in her shoes who got married young and are fine.

My point is, no matter the age gap, the murder, in this case cannot be justified.

You can shake all hands no biggie..

Just make sure you don't pick your own nose nor put your hands in your mouth or into any other of your body orifices until you have had them washed. That way you won't be transferring germs from any one you shake into yourself.

It means that, when outside, you do not eat with your hands. You use a fork or spoon.

when you get back, the first thing is to use an antiseptic or a normal soap to wash your hands.

You can also have an antiseptic gel in your bag. It kills 99.9% of germs and it does not even require the use of water..You can use it on your hands after every handshake..you may start to look like a freak though.

Ujujoan: By the time a 16-year old resorts to using a knife against her own much older husband, isn't it clear that something is very terribly wrong?

Why is Kanu's wife (since you love using them as a case study) not using a knife against him

She knew the steps . . . take the beating . . . get saved by the neighbors and wait for it to re-occur another day . . . . She should have allowed it to continue instead of picking up a knife to 'show him pepper' . . . .

You are right, I should stop responding to you!

You really should stop.

My bad that I could have come to your level at explaining what I am driving at.

A 16 yr old is not a dummy and can reason and is perfectly aware of the consequences of her actions.

Ujujoan: For her to be married at 16 already should tell you why she couldn't leave him . .

Very possibly from a poor background and was forced into early marriage by her parents to make life easier for themselves. Pray tell, where could she have gone? Back to her parents with two extra mouths to feed? The same people who sold her to a pedophile?

SMH . . . people sha!

so where did she run to now? where?

You are saying She is soooo young at 16.

But not too young to wield a knife.

Her situation is not a good one and she should get help from everybody who can give her that but she should not get a pat on the back..It must not become a trend.

Ujujoan: I don't have to read what you wrote to understand the way you reason . . .

In some countries, that man would have been locked away for a very long time for marrying a 16-year old girl, even with her parent's consent. Look up statutory rape . . But no, you chose to quote an abusive culture which is being outlawed even as we speak to back up your baseless reasoning.

No where in Imo State is 16-year old girl getting married a norm . . . . Not married at 16, but married with two kids at 16. But hey, according to you, those kids are twins and somehow that makes it ok!

I'm still shocked you are defending this man . . .

What is wrong is not the marriage. The cons of such a marriage can be a subject for another thread.

What I am saying is, there is no getting away for killing this man. His family members will not let her rest. Her children will detest her for that. she won't be able to sleep well ever again.

and I said again, that the problem is not the marriage because there are people who have successful marriages with this kind of scenarios. I know some girls and they once laughed bout it that their mum got married at age 16. They are so classy and all, I was surprised. Their family is a decent one. Kanu also did it with his wife..

If the man or the girl in this case thought that there was anything wrong with their marriage, they would not have gotten married in the first place and you are not in any position to dictate what is right or wrong. So, again, when their issues started, they could have seek help in other ways than a partner killing the other. It is inexcusable!!

Sissie: When they started fighting or the abuse started what stopped her from leaving that she had to kill him?

exactly.

This is more like a pre conceived murder.

This is not the first time he has beaten her. It seems more like, she knew the steps..

probably, something like

.argument-shouting-beating-crying and wailing for the neighbours to hear.

Then she decided when the argument started to have a knife so in case he moves to the beating part, she'd show him pepper by using the knife. and she did!


I know this may not be how it happened, but it is easy for it to have been this way.

Ujujoan: Why did she have a knife? Was she holding a knife to him while they were making love??

The man was about to beat her up, and not for the first time . . . . she held the knife to ward him off. The neighbor said she dropped the knife after the husband was convinced not to beat her up. Immediately he saw she had dropped the knife, he pounced on her again. (did you intentionally not see that part?)

Pray tell, when would it have been ok for a 16-year old to defend herself against a 35-year old man? When he holds a knife to her throat

You mean you are defending him because he was 'just beating her up' and not stabbing her with a knife

I'm not going to go into all that crap you are saying about being 16 and mature to be a mother of 2 kids . . .

When you were 16 you were deceiving if to study Medicine or Law in the University, not how to breasfeed one baby and potty train the other.

Just because it didn't happen to you doesn't give you the right to be insensitive to that the young girl is going through!

PS: Kanu did not date his wife . . . she was arranged for him . . . . And yes, at 18 she was not mature enough but she married a man who did not beat her up at every chance he got!

I can't believe you are comparing both cases . . .

Obviously, You are allowing your emotions to cloud over your judgement. Read what I wrote again and try to have an understanding of it.

If you don't, there is no reason to respond to you.

Ujujoan: She will not forever be on the run . . . she killed him out of self defense and she is still a minor . . . at least according to the eye witness' testimony. She's running now out of ignorance but with a good lawyer she'll never be convicted of murder.

Even if the wife is troublesome, is that enough reason for a 35 year old man to beat up a 16 year old all in the name of marriage

Sooner or later she would have been the dead one.

2 kids at 16 . . . I'm shocked you see nothing wrong with that.

2 kids at 16?

was she forced to have them? where is she from? Is it a common practice there?

If you have not changed people's thought processes to understand certain things your way, you cannot blame them for the choices they make!

If you were never educated, never got a chance to see the world beyond a tiny village, there is a big possibility that you'd be married at such an age, you'd have your bath in a river water and drink from it and when presented with a clean pure water, you'd rather wash your hands with it than drink it.

and why would anyone judge you over that. Simply because you did not have an opportunity like they did.

It is all down to perception is what I am saying. It gives her no reason to have a knife with a man she has frequently fought with.

carefreewannabe: I normally prefer to look at both sides of a story before forming an opinion BUT honestly when I hear that a 35 yrs old man has got TWO children with a 16 yrs old girl, I don't need to hear anything else. He was a pervert and I don't feel any pity for him.

I understand the part that makes it seem like he took advantage of her. But did he marry her? Did she agree to the marriage. Is it a forced union?

If he forced her to marry him and she is not with him with her parent's consent, I can join in calling him all sorts of names.

Fact is, These kinds of marriages are common in Nigeria. The problem here is not the mrriage but what happened in it. For example, Kanu's wife was only 18 when they got married and who did not know that Kanu is over 40? He did not meet her at 18, definitely. whatever relationship b4 then was with a minor and it was ok. In this case, the marriage is very much ok in their cultural context. You cannot bring your own view of her not being mature enough for marriage and just want it to be the perfect and acceptable one.

She is 16..maybe the children are a twin may be not. In some parts of the world, a 16yr old is an adult and can already make their own decisions. At 16, I was deciding my carreer path and was aware of the consequences of whatever decision I was making.

So, in this matter of her using a Knife with her husband, I see no self defence..Didn't the neighbour say he separated them at first and by then she already had a knife?

I am not saying the husband is innocent. He could have been punished without having had to die.

and she should stop running. She had an intent to kill was the reason she had a knife before the said beating. There are other ways with an abusive man. She could have left him, like she just did, could have reported him to the police..

Ujujoan: Thanks God he was the one who got killed this time . . .

The poor girl will live her life in peace now without being bothered by that pedophile!

seriously?

what kind of peace is that. The one that means she will constantly look over her shoulders? detest policemen and always run.

she will forever be on the run and if the children later realise she killed their father, they may not take things cool with her.



What is all the talk about him abusing her? does anyone know how their fight starts or if the wife is the troublesome one?

orisirisi on this NL ooo.

The international conference centre is large btw..

It will drown the few people who could spend that kind of money.


anf if we just celebrated eid, ehy on earth would a Muslim for example need to go jumping up.

tunshe: Thats interesting, technology is just making our priced items obsolete.

Thanks for sharing,I wouldn't have known an external HDD exists. Very funny I was in Micro centre in Boston early this year bought a 2TB passport HDD and I was feeling...,you know?lol!

Thanks to onegig too,but I wonder why he's not oneterabyte.lol!

You are welcome. I am hopeful of not regretting this sha..I dont want wahala.