₦airaland Forum

futoprince: go to FIFA website for the best online stream: http://www.fifa.com/u17worldcup/video/live/index.html

Not going

Are you sure it is a goal?

Nene1, I understand how you feel since I would not be able to deal with polygyny either.

But I think you worry about it too much. You don't have to die before your death(proverbial) and it may not even happen. Not all men marry wives and yours may just be one of the monogamous ones. So, plan to have an enjoyable marriage without qualms and even if the unfortunate happens, you would at least have enjoyed when you could.

It may help to lay the cards before marriage. Let the person you would marry know that you want a monogamous marriage. You can even draw up a marriage contract.

Be a good wife so that he would want to keep you. That way, he might see losing you as risky. Realising that he might have to choose between you and his polygyny might actually make him stay with you.

Also, make sure that you have a LIFE of your own. So that if anything bad happens in the marriage, you will have things that you have/own to fall back on.

There is no reason for a first wife to work for things that would not be hers eventually when she could work for her own things. There is nothing like having a joint account or becoming a housewife. You've got to work, be smart, have a good body for YOURSELF. So that when you are left with yourself, the decisions you make are those that suit you.

You may also consider having children that you could cater for and their interest made to supercede.

Like you said in the op, women have the choice. Make sure you dont deny yourself anything good.

Olugbenger: Mods pls why was my post on this FP thread hidden, why the one i replied remain. That post was offensive to my religion.
https://www.nairaland.com/1499920/liz-anjorin-why-she-left
I demand an explanation, apology regards to my post being restored. Thanks.

I can't find the post. Provide a direct link to it.

This your overgeneralisation!!

Not all are like that

when you marry him

convenantudoh: cum to tink of it,wen she converted no one told her anytin,no one abused her,neither was she penalized by anybody,but if it was a muslim dat converted 2 xtianity he/she would hv been hunted down n killed 4 dubious reasons[color=]cum to tink of it,wen she converted no one told her anytin,no one abused her,neither was she penalized by anybody,but if it was a muslim dat converted 2 xtianity he/she would hv been hunted down n killed 4 dubious reasons[/color]cum to tink of it,wen she converted no one told her anytin,no one abused her,neither was she penalized by anybody,but if it was a muslim dat converted 2 xtianity he/she would hv been hunted down n killed 4 dubious reasons

why do you lie so much?

Even on this thread, there is so much abuse and you claim mo one has abused her.

The 'African time' is a show of irresponsibility.

It should not be taken to the mosque, at least.

I dont understand the bitterness some people are exhibiting on here.

Jomark: Good for her. She will live the rest of her life the way she wants as a Muslim. But if it were the other way round, they would have murdered her by now for abandoning Islam. That's what I love about Christianity. We leave people to make their choice.

Even when she had to wait for the man to die?

Another lady had to run to a palace so she could be free from her Christian father's horror.

Christians being generally peaceful is a LIE.

Fact is, the Islamic system was never to benefit Muslims only But anyone wise enough to adopt it.

In no time, everyone will realise the need to do everything halal and keep away from the haram. Islam provides the perfect model.

...

khattab02: Not really.. There are few third world countries in which the male population is morethan female like India, do you know why? Because of female foeticide and female inventicide. In the case of China are they being greedy? Not really because we do know every man can't get married for so many reasons or perhaps might not be the case for them. Will it solve their problem? Yes because the only option remaining is either second or become public property. Rather than being mistress or what aview to these married men why not become a second wife and have equal and legal right with the first? Public property is degraded, dishonoured and doesn't have equal right with the married ones. It will help alot.

I can not believe you typed this.

There are more men than women. and that means that many of the men who WANT to marry may not be able to.

and you say that, some men should go ahrad and marry up to four as a way of solving their problem??

What I was driving at all along is the need to find other reasons for polygyny than it solving societal issues because it does not in many cases and even can be problematic in others.

She did not have to wait till he died. She could not have known who would die first.

Thank God for her though.

bukatyne: She said we don't have a choice

Read the Op again.

bukatyne: you do not have a choice in the kind of marriage you have??

Who does?

She said we have a choice and that is true. Everyone has a choice.

Mr Aboki: If only life were ideal..

I do however agree that 'muslim' didnt need to be in my post as the feeling cuts across board.

Answering for Okija_juju now? I thought you were a bad imitator.

Anyways sha, You did not have to add Muslim to the post.

This is a fashion disaster week.

Some people here are so boring that they can not see it when others are just having fun.

People play dress up all the time. You can go bollyhood, local, Over use make up or go wild and take pics of yourself.

She must have shared this pic hoping that some people would get the gist.

She is Yoruba, from the royal Oniru family. Must have studied or served in Northern Nigeria. Maybe a Muslim or not. But the monarch is Muslim and she is likely a Muslim.

I used to use both chewing stick and tooth brush and I liked my teeth better than now.

I May just go back to doing that.

chuksbogus: DEOLS the context is not in medical practice ok. the context is in their proffession. learn that nursing , pharmacy etc are not medical proffessions ok. nursing profession , pharmacy are proffession on their own so is medical profession which is for drs. all are health proffessions so dnt let the urge to put other proffession down prevent u from being educated that u claim to be

I meant health profession.

Deen4me: @ bolded

You make it sound as if its a bad thing

Each to their own.Everyone would have to deal with the consequences of their decisions.

Summary- Two rakaah of prayer when the eclipse happens.

The op's reasons are just not it.

I hope you are not yet married because your idea of women appears faulty.

what if you start to act in a way that she does not like. Would it be ok if she leaves you for another man?

Thinking that your marriage to another woman would solve your problems is so so juvenile. You may never stop remarrying because you will continue to have problems with the ones that follow.

[quote author=Okija_juju]I told my wife the only way I would not forgive her is if she sleeps with a person that is lesser than me 'generally'.. Sex is not the problem, love is.

A prostitute has a partner she loves dearly. But she sleeps with men for money. Sex not love. My wife has said it that her greatest fear isnt that I would cheat on her sexually, but that I would cheat on her emotionally..

Plus! My wifes bosses are women. Her male boss that I know, I will forgive her instantly becuase if I was a girl, I would f|uck him as well..




Infidelity is not the worst thing in a marriage.

Ask those muslim women.. They would rather have their homes all to themselves and have a husband that f|ucks around, rather than share their home, husband and everything with 4 - 20 other women.[/quote]I dont agree with the last one.

I think Muslim women would rather have him marry the other women than have him sleep around.

And majority would rather have him to themselves than share him with other women.

ALVA 001: @
deen4me & mr aboki, jazakumlahu khairan. @ deols, i agree wt u bt
nt until i say ds, plz dont lets mix up issues, u talkd about societal
ills arising 4rm taking a 2nd on lustful grnd.
1) i thnk it is impossible to marry some1 cos of lust, cos lust is jes
dt u wana av sex, das all, but to marry because of beauty is by far
possible and permisibble in islam, jes lyk deen4me as rightly put it,
and its actually impossible 4 anyone to say authoritatively dt anoda
person is marryn on d grnds of beauty alone, as intention cannt be seen.
2) societal ills, lyk u said. it is tru dt some undesired thngs may
arise out of polygamy, but lets be carefull so that we dont see wot is
meant 2 be TRIAL 4rm God as EVIL. i believe that anyone who does a thng
4 d wrong reasons and in the wrong way would surely face a lot of prob.
if u thnk avn 1 wife is problem & 2 is more prob, so be it, if u
thnk odawise, so be it. i also thnk dt nt all men are actually fit to
marry a 2nd wife.

You did not get my point, obviously.

What if a man does it for that reason. Is there a law stopping him? NO.

And in other situations where young girls would rather be 2nd or 4th wives to rich men, leaving young men hanging and feeling sorry for their poor state..Is there a law guiding against that? No.

So I am saying that polygamy does not necessarily go with the intent of solving societal issues and many widows are single and plenty orphans unmarried. If the condition for marrying second wives was for widows and orphans and not open to others, I'll totally reason with that factor of polygamy solving those societal issues. I think it does so mostly on paper.

khattab02: Suppose let agree with the philosophy one man One woman and suppose my sister or your sister is in America and the market is saturated every man has found a woman for himself yet there will still be 7.8m women who will not find life partners. And we all know every man can't marry for some many reasons. Now the option left for these 7.8m women is either marry a man who has a wife or become public property. Which will any modest woman opt for?

The thought that men are more than women is faulty. In China, there are 105 men for every 100 women. Would polygamous men not appear greedy in such a situation?

Of course, as Muslims the other options of gay marriage is not legit. But in a western society, like you have used as an example, where such marriages are legit, you may not entirely base their problem of inability to find partners on polygamy nor make it a solution to their problem.

#justsaying

nikegbade: To sisters, please whatever it is halal in islam, don't let us make it haram via our mere worldly interest. May Allah giv us d strenght to pass all d test of dis dunya. If my husband wake me tomorrow $ tell me he's interested in mohsna. Toh! Bismilahi. I'l support him. May Allah guide us right

NO One is making it haram. I dislike it when you leave the issue and start yo drive on emotions.

And well done as you allow the mosna..people like you are rare. But in many cases, the likes of you end up having the bigger problem with the new wife.I don't pray that that happens to you though.

I dont think that a woman who loves her husband would want to see him with someone else. But of course, not everyone marries for love.