₦airaland Forum

My dear u can't have it all in life no this and have peace also no one or marriage is perfect

Graduate2015:
Sorry this is going to be lengthy. I dont know how to shorten this.
I'm married for 16yrs but I cannot say that I have enjoyed my marriage. My husband is lovely when in a good mood but worst during his bad mood. His mood goes up and down but he thinks he doesn't have a problem. I think he has a bipolar and I've always mentioned to him that his behaviour seems like that but he never acknowledges it. Two yrs ago it got worse and we ended in couples therapy. During this period he revealed to me that while in the uni that he goes through period of sadness and the thing affected his grades anytime he experiences that mood during exam. I encouraged him to see a doctor and the doctor gave him antidepressant but he only used it for two weeks and stopped, saying he doesnt need that. But what he doesnt realise is that his period of sadness did not only happen in uni but its currently happening in his marriage. Our marriage is Iike a roller coaster. He finds problem but never suggests or initiate or even action solutions when suggested. He believes that every problem we have in our marriage is my fault ..
During his sad moments he eats unhealthy food, orders food everyday and says i make him sad and that i have caused him to gain weight. He suffers from diabetes and hypertension but he orders ice cream, chocolate smoothies during our silent period time. I've asked him for a separation but he refused. He calls me a wicked woman, that I make his life hell, that he will kill me one day. All this outburst just because u said something like can u clean up that plate u left in the sitting room(even though there was never a problem just before u ask). He uses visitors toilet but has never cleaned it. I have asked him several times not to use it. No other person at home uses it. Every morning I check and clean the toilet because he always leaves it unflushed.
He works almost everyday and provides for the family. I also work but since having our last child I only work on his day off which is once a week or twice because my son cannot stay in daycare due to his disability. He only goes to work, comes back, eat and watches tv. He detaches himself in family involvement while i run around with our children. He basically provides everything at home but he asks for my support when the need arises such as investments, I bring money for house or land deposits to support him or school fees. We have many houses. Our last duplex in Nigeria. He did foundation and stopped because he was building a house here. So I took over the building and finished he only continued from interior deco.
He doesn't help around the house, in short he messes it up and when I ask for it to be cleaned he gets really angry and can call me names. Because of my son's disability therapists comes to our house every day but he doesn't care if they meet his socks, belts and used plates in the sitting room because he leaves them there and rushes to work next day. He also doesn't delegate or ask our older kids to do any chores. He also doesn't involve in training them or in homework. He is a chronic porn addict and for the past few months he has stopped having sex with me. The last two we had in April I initiated it so I don't initiate anymore. He said anytime he ask for sex I always turn him down. But the fact is that he works everyday, sometimes nights. We.dont sleep in the same room because he snores and have sleep apnoe yet he is still not seeking any medical help. I end up staying awake the whole night if we sleep together not only does his snoring disturbs me but he also goes secs without breathing which scares me. He stays in the sitting room watching TV and comes to my room to demand sex around 4/5am which I can't do at that time. I suggested we watch TV in my room at night and have sex before sleep but he won't do it.
He also doesn't communicate his mind but end up using passive aggression to communicate. He gives silent treatment and I used to ask what was the problem as I sometimes don't even know what the problem was. Sometimes it's something I said which he could have told me off immediately. I dont ask what the problem is anymore because ive asked him to always communicate but still the same silent treatment. He can just burst into anger even with little issue. Right now I know he has some resentment and animosity towards me because of not being able to express his feelings. I buy everything in our house because he doesn't take charge or in control and always likes to be led. I think after all this yrs he is now feeling like he has lost control and i sense low self esteem even though his career is in the top highest paid job in the world. Our marriage has been like two weeks of good mood, then two weeks of silent treatment. He avoids discussing any problem and keep saying that there is no point discussing it because it will not bear any fruit that I will not change. Anything I dont do doesn't happen in our marriage. He takes responsibility of our car insurance but its not until I got into accident that I found out he hasn't paid our car insurance for a yr or two. Even our house didn't have house insurance since 2020 until i found out in April this year and immediately paid for it. He basically takes no responsibility for anything and its getting worse. It's like having a child but then u cant correct them because they can beat u up. I have a friend that her husband works all the time too but cleans their home on his day off. He also buys gadget like robotic cleaner to ease her suffering. I basically buy everything in my house. He doesn't have initiative except when investing in property, that's only place he takes leads, oh we should buy a house or land but this happens once a yr or more. It's not something you do everytime. He doesn't even know how to use a washing machine. I had to teach him when I was going away and this man damaged all his white designer clothes because he washed different colours together and also used cleaning bleach to wash clothes and my children kept saying how could he not know because they can use the machine.. I also pay for his clothes to be ironed. I don't know how he sees me as an evil person because he calls me that during quarrell.
His behaviour makes me so sad because we live overseas where is no help or family support. I'm always tired and he doesn't care. I stay awake at night with our son and he doesn't come out to help even with his cries he sleeps through it all. I don't think I can continue like this because he doesn't realise the problem. He thinks he helps around but I'm being ungrateful. I don't mind if he can own up and confess that he wants to be a traditional man but he will never confess but his actions tells me otherwise. His good part is that he gives me access to his money may be that's because I can use it to be running the house and remove that responsibility from him. He also buys me expensive things like range rover, gucci but my love language is not material stuff but hands on man because I believe I can afford that myself.

Location

Indoor bar 250k locations is agungi road lekki

Please I need help on where to buy a Nigerian used truck tricycle like this. Thanks

ABOKI9ja:
Thank you and I appreciate your response. May God bless our struggles

Amen and thanks

ABOKI9ja:
Good day everyone. I would really appreciate if Nairalanders can help me with any informative input in becoming a coca cola or other soft drinks dealership. Thank you and may all our struggles never go in vain

Go to any of their offices close to you to make enquiry for Lagos, you can go to the coca cola office at agege motor road cappa busstop and for 7up product go to their office at ijora 7up there you will be given numbers of the managers assigned to your location.

At oyinbo just by Otto busstop by Guo transportation coy you will get sienna going directly to Niger state Nysc camp at 8500 or to Minna at 7500. My daughter just left this evening as am typing from the park.

All that glitters is not my gold dear talking from experience or learn from precious falani kayode's story. If you must marry a man older than you with such gap then you must have some written agreement and you must not be financial down because most of this older man have plenty wahala.

Indoor wine bar #300k slightly negotiable. The brand new is sold #400k location Agungi lekki.

Try any fair and white product

gasparpisciotta:
N50-100 bus/keke direct from Ojota to Oregun.

Not familiar with the bus stops but you can always ask the driver.

Stay safe

Thanks

Can anyone direct me on how to get to Adewumi industrial estate kudirat Abiola way oregun from ojota. Thanks

olusholamayor:
I received it too.

How was the interview? I also got the invite for tomorrow morning on zoom too. Thanks

Mhyketh:
I got an invite for a zoom meeting/interview for the role of representative for entrepreneurship trust fund...
Please good people in the house what the degree of confidence. How credible are they.

please how did the interview go? I also got the interview invite for tomorrow. Thanks

Jennyfha:
Hi, friends. November the 9th we are going to celebrate very happy occasion.  It is my daughter birthday, and I thought it would be fun to celebrate with a giveaway. I'm giving away 300k to 3 people 100k each to start businesses of their choice. Please tell me what type of business you are going to do with 100k. You must be in this category
1. Widow /widower
2. Student orphans under the age of 25
3. Single mother

I will required proofs before I release the funds.

I will announce the winners in November 9th at 12pm. Good luck .

Good day,I'm a single mother of two beautiful kids I have been out of job for the past 4 years,my kids and I have been feeding by God's grace and help of good people..I would be very glad if I'm a partaker of this benefit.
I would like to start a sub dealer business of soft drinks in my locality so that my kids and I will have something to feed on.
Thank you,God bless you

Am interested

Follow your heart

bizzibodi:
Who be Quadri again?why magistrate court?it is judge that fi offence committed?

I heard the Quadri guy sold drugs and did the fake ID for chidimma

Aside it being a birth control pills it's also used for PCOS treatment and a surrogate mother also take this pills for some months during surrogate process.

LifeMapEmpire:
Neatly used Haier thermocool deep freezer available for sale. As good as new!!!

Capacity: 103L

Reason: Got a bigger size

Serious enquiries only � 08020809282

how much and location

insidelife22:
good,good,good,
as a cheat,I can't marry a lady who cheats,she has to be loyal,coz I will cheat for both of us.

cheat for both of u indeed .

Sinensis:
Tanx. The bag is 3500

Location pls

Lovely

sisisioge:
Quite sad. My friend who lost her husband some years back didnt even know if he had anything, not even money in any bank account let alone landed properties. The guy was very coded and his phone and wallet vanished at the scene. Police eventually returned his phone but one of his friends took it and returned it formatted without any record in the name of opening it( the deceased password his iphone). Anyways, she's doing fine now.


Moral....open up to your loved ones. No one knows tomorrow.

I lost my ex last week he has a house on the island but house document dey with lawyer. Lawyer name or address we don't know.

odimbannamdi:
Electric cooker.

Bought for 7k on my trip to Tradefair on Thursday, had buyer's remorse immediately thereafter.

Selling price: 5,500 firm

Location: Ibafo - Berger axis. The nature of my job takes me around quite often, so we can arrange to meet elsewhere, on my routine trips

can we meet at surulere if still available

You are not wrong at all

pmadise:
The items below are available and we deliver outside Lagos

1. Brand new Master submersible water pump (1.5hp) with complete wire and control box - N75,000

2. Foreign used submersible water pump (1hp). N20,000

3. Foreign used 5kva petrol generator - N115,000

4. Fairly used glass top center table

5. Orthopaedic mattress measuring 6" x 4" = N18,000

Delivery fees are on the buyer

08066611102 (Alimosho, Lagos)

please post the pic of the mattress

I like everything about u from being strong, straight forward and I no send una with big mouth attitude. Ride on dear

I presently need to send money to my child to enable her pay for some fees at school she is in her final year. Thanks and God d giver

God bless you

Location