₦airaland Forum

HRSweetness:
Sorry, I don't mean to be intrusive but I couldn't just ignore your post.

You seem to be a young guy with a pretty good head sitting on your shoulders.
I know this from the boldened.

Trust me, you don't need that girl. She's got nothing valuable to offer. She's not a team player and you don't need someone who is unwilling to work with you to reach your full potentials.

I bet that she'd come running back if she sees you've got things going well for you, with no sense of shame.

Please focus on you, you'll attract a beautiful woman that recognizes your value.

Hmm...thanks for your input,ma
Don't mind me, she's my first love and the only Lady I've known all my life,so I guess that's why I tend to struggle to move on from the heartbreak

But let me also add that she's a hardworking lady too,she's currently learning a trade (fashion designing),just finished her NCE and decided to work for a year before going back for her degree, Her plan is to save up all her earnings, get a shop,buy sewing equipment,plus refrigerator and generator,stock up her shop with drinks and all,pay her school fees and still rent an apartment for herself before resuming for her degree next year January


You can see that she seems to be visionary too ,ambitious and feels my slow pace visible movement isnt a good indication of whatever she wants for her man and that's why most of her harsh words tend to pierce and break me down

Even when I think I'm on the right path,whenever I look around and see how well she's been fairing, i tend to experience self doubt and start thinking maybe I'm not doing enough too or maybe I'm as lazy as she thinks but its not so...


I used to feel I lost a value-packed lady and I'm not sure she feels same, I don't care though ,just that I'm not sure if I even have values embedded in me...I don't even believe in my own self and my journey again

SeaTrade...kindly read this sir

SeaTrade:
Na poverty and frustration be her problem,that's how poor people are.
I won't advise you to make any compromises with her because she can't even afford to offer you anything.
She is sounding like she's doing you a favour to date you ba?dump her.Let her go and date the people she can look up to,but where it'll get funny is those people wouldn't look at a female sales rep for a one man business that earn that low twice,so her options are really low in the dating market she even desires.
Even sales reps for BAT with brand new hilux and 600k salary never do this one,before na one hungry clown.
Focus on your life and grind,better women will come along the way with better offers,not this hungry,frustrated wannabe.

The gulf in our reasoning is amazing, do you know that she still feels she's currently far bigger than me cause she once sent me a VN that even though she's a student,she still supports herself,pay her bills,even send money to her siblings her have more savings than me that has no responsibility?

Whenever I ruminate on most of her words, I feel broken and since then I still do menial jobs,I tend to see her as bigger since she earns more
I need a man's advise and harsh world to rebuild my self-esteem... I just wanna be me and not compete with her


Sir,you feel she's broke but then in reality,she still earns more than me...Hmm

SeaTrade:
Let her go,these aren't the types to keep and lose sleep over.Focus on your job and do well at it,you will meet a great lady along the line.
Funny thing is she isn't as rich as you think,a few blessings here and there will reveal this to you.
A woman who really has bread will not break up with you for this reason,especially giving you timelines.
She's not confident of her finances in the next few months ,that's why she wants you to transform to aliko overnight so you can support her bleak future.
I even think say she get money sef smh..

Hmm...I just finished Nysc and enrolled my Nysc savings in acquiring some professional certifications...and been trying to do some menial job to hold body while applying for major ones, so practically I'm not gallant but she does few things and she claims she earns 100k every month for many side hustles so she seems bigger than me for now

That's where it started and she feels everyone who doesn't earn as much as she does are very lazy, claims I'm too lazy,hence the reason why I earn that low, its even more funny that whenever I tried to ask her link me up to some of her hustles, she'd tell me it disgust her to meet a man who'd be asking a lady for his whereabouts and would never share any insightful business idea despite claiming she does 3 stuffs that earns her that much(although I only know of one thing she does,which is working for a woman who sells baking stuffs in one of Lagos markets as a sales rep and she claims she gets paid 2,500 everyday...as for the other hustles that top it to 100k,I don't know about them but she goes to work every day so she can't possibly be a runs girl)

According to her,if she could juggle all these together, then I'm lazy if I can't... I'm learning video editing now and wanna try out my hands in E-marketing and start anyhow after undergoing some tutorials yet her tough words have created a strong self doubt in me I don't even have as much confidence as its required


There's more to this though...I don't even believe in myself

SeaTrade:
We can talk,the only issue I have is you trying to move over to WhatsApp.
I can't compromise my anonymity over this I'm sorry.
If you can talk here then its fine by me.
Cheers mehn.

Oh, its fine sir,I actually requested for that cause narrating the ordeal would be too hectic to do via texting and I felt sending an audio note and even her very own audio note would go a long way

As at the last time I messages you,we were still together and she broke up just 2 days ago...it cut deeper when her reason for doing that has to do with her zero confidence in me as per how well I'll fare in the next few months

Aspayastudenthu:
Hi there, I replied.

I've mailed you too
I'm seriously interested in any job

SeaTrade:
Not a good thing to do to your ego.
Even if she loves you,what will her friends(possibly in her class) think of you?
Will you be comfortable meeting them?
It'll destroy your confidence.
And also make you push your self to impossible limits just to catch up that will always end up to fail because you want to jump many steps at a time to catch up to a woman's lifestyle and acceptance.
Then of course it won't work,then you end up depressed,thinking low of yourself and eventually accept your fate ,walking in a woman's shadow.
Run!

Bro please kindly let's talk about this
Its currently affecting me badly as I'm in same situation now

lolu2019:
Op,d third class doesn't matter.just be hardworking and honest.upgrade urself with atleast a professional course.health and safety management will be good for u.u all south westerners think getting a good job is by having a good degree.please try and visit ExxonMobil.even 'o'level holders earn 350k monthly as helper.make una sit down for Lagos dey form rubbish with peanut salaries.

How do I go about the ExxonMobil job application

AlexJustin:
Why don't you delve into making money online?

Have you heard of Amazon KDP ? An expert has scheduled a free training on it.
WhatsApp only 09012230766

I'm interested Sir, do you do this too

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Does this has to do with expernaire??

Vickhanz:
Bros write books and publish on kdp

Sir, please this is what I'm interested in... I'd love it if you can kindly walk me around it sir

SeaTrade:
Would love to remai anonymous,no hard feelings bro.
I can give you whatever guidance you need here.

Sir,its a long story,I'd struggle to type long and that's why I suggested WhatsApp where I could be able to send voice notes plus chat screenshots

We need to talk sir cause the thing has damaged me very much

Ocholu:
So, I was extremely bored with everything earlier today, and decided to flirt unprovoked on Tinder. With the kinda pictures my profile holds, I easily match with ladies. Pretty ladies.

It's not about the looks though! But the affluence. Haha. So I matched as many as I wanted and moved the conversation to WhatsApp.

Omo! All the ladies there wants money. Regardless of what they imputed in their profile of this and that, forget am, na money them dey find. One even told me 1 million bucks is enough to have her.

It was a repeated pattern for all they ladies. Look, without benefits of doubts, I was expecting a small margin from the total population to at least want an; independent guy, handsome bobo that is well built, graduate, working, etcetera. But reversed was the outcome.

I've abandoned them chats sha. Because my client who runs me keywords research for my Amazon stuffs sent a beautiful job done. So my boredom was cleared and I went back to hustling for urgent 2k.

Honestly, don't know what I'd have done if I was in these ladies shoes. Maybe I'd request for money too. Or an independent partner (my best bet).

Also, I am seriously considering funding some of them. One told me she's in school and the ASUU strike is telling heavily on her. She can't go back home because, at the moment, it's better to stay back in school.
I am also buying a lot from the lady that sells clothing.

Modified

Y'all asking for a KDP group. See below. Just copy the link and join it from we there's space. i.e before chat.w and com/K. Can't post it as it is before I attract 10 years ban.

https:// chat.whatsapp. com/Kf2CyRS4ZdICYqIltbPbO0

AIT1
Generalwoodz
Naturalkinzzy
Martinz23

Y'all should see the link to the WhatsApp group for the amazon kdp tutorial

Ocholu:
So, I was extremely bored with everything earlier today, and decided to flirt unprovoked on Tinder. With the kinda pictures my profile holds, I easily match with ladies. Pretty ladies.

It's not about the looks though! But the affluence. Haha. So I matched as many as I wanted and moved the conversation to WhatsApp.

Omo! All the ladies there wants money. Regardless of what they imputed in their profile of this and that, forget am, na money them dey find. One even told me 1 million bucks is enough to have her.

It was a repeated pattern for all they ladies. Look, without benefits of doubts, I was expecting a small margin from the total population to at least want an; independent guy, handsome bobo that is well built, graduate, working, etcetera. But reversed was the outcome.

I've abandoned them chats sha. Because my client who runs me keywords research for my Amazon stuffs sent a beautiful job done. So my boredom was cleared and I went back to hustling for urgent 2k.

Honestly, don't know what I'd have done if I was in these ladies shoes. Maybe I'd request for money too. Or an independent partner (my best bet).

Also, I am seriously considering funding some of them. One told me she's in school and the ASUU strike is telling heavily on her. She can't go back home because, at the moment, it's better to stay back in school.
I am also buying a lot from the lady that sells clothing.

Bro please,don't forget to modify this post to include the WhatsApp group link

I no dey rush you o, na beg I dey beg

Ocholu:
O'kay Boss. E be like say I'll just create a WhatsApp group for this stuffs. So that anyone who's interested can just join instead sending this PM.

This method of messaging innovated by Oga Seun always messes with my head.

OK thanks Sir...

Ocholu:
Please send pm. Notify me when you do.

I've sent you PM too sir
Solely on that Amazon kdp stuff

Ocholu:
Please send pm. Notify me when you do.

Can I send you PM too...if you go through my past posts you'd see how I run around seeking for jobs.
I've read about the amazon kdp but the right knowledge from the right person is what lacking now sir
Can I sir

sorosoke101:
I received it and I will be there today but I know nothing about them

Kindly tell us how it goes when you're back sir

jennyjohn12348:
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With capital as little as how much
I'm desperate to start something online too...

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SeaTrade:
Why are you still with her if she troubles you this much like you say?

Sir,can we chat on WhatsApp?
Just need to speak to someone who's been in my shoes before

Maybe I'm just feeling unnecessarily intimidated or have self-esteem issues...I don't even know

SeaTrade:
Yes.
That's how i got to know.
Any particular reason why?

Bro,I'm in same situation now and its affecting both my mental health and my self-esteem


I've tried reaching out to most people to advise me but I'm still troubled about this...for how long shall I remain in her shadow

PrimadonnaO:
Eventually, it would be different strokes for different folks.

I know this thread is for men to share their experiences. But that kind of union will have both parties walking about on eggshells with each other...

Woman trying so hard to not bruise man's ego...
They go out, and she slips her card to him so it looks like he's the one paying.
Trying to dim her light so he can shine comfortably.

Man trying to act unbothered...
Trying to prove it's all love and mutual respect and wokeness...
Trying to hold firmly to the reins he already feels left his grasp...

*********
That scenario up there is for couples who are honestly trying to make it work..

For most others, it's gbas gbos...

Woman wants to live her best life... Freely, as she pleases.
Submission may be challenging
She may a couple of times remind him who takes the lion share of running the home...

For the man, he's always wearing his insecurity on his sleeves....
Won't let her buy the new big car...
Won't agree to change the kids' school
Wants to suppress her and establishes unnecessary laws just to show control...

Starts cheating.

You once had this experiences, I guess

SeaTrade:
Not a good thing to do to your ego.
Even if she loves you,what will her friends(possibly in her class) think of you?
Will you be comfortable meeting them?
It'll destroy your confidence.
And also make you push your self to impossible limits just to catch up that will always end up to fail because you want to jump many steps at a time to catch up to a woman's lifestyle and acceptance.
Then of course it won't work,then you end up depressed,thinking low of yourself and eventually accept your fate ,walking in a woman's shadow.
Run!

Have u ever experienced this??

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Got it?

I hope I've not trespassed by sending you a DM

What I wanna talk about is sensitive and wouldn't want anyone to shame me for it in the next few years

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Stop being bitter..let them support and vote for who they want..you can't tell them what to do..
If you are too bothered then vote for your choice simple..

I really need to discuss something with you
Just personality issue and it's about me
On what dry thread do we do that

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Does angels even exist?
This is hilarious..

Rest, you don't have to announce to everybody that you ain't a theist

Sarahsarakia:
Only those living around Ikeja should apply please

Course of study or discipline doesn't matter,i guess

bigpicture001:
She doesn't know. My new pay now.. last she knew was that 25k...

Trust me all ladies are after money.. nomata their own financial status.. check out Linda ikeji..

.

bigpicture001:
I have been off relationship for about 14 months now.. after my ex whom I put in so much into our relationship left cuz of money.. she admitted it's cuz of money...

Then I earn a paltry 25k monthly sh earns 15k daily, now she earns over 100k daily and I now earn 300k monthly.... Dou am not going back to her , sh too has never for once flashed or call or try to reach out...

Sh was the last peice in the puzzle that confirm my theory that the only thing a woman care about in a relationship is "money" ..... If u like generate the best pet name or do all the good things in relationship like call, good sex, friendliness with her family, care in physicality, advice , companionship, dress well, smell well.

See all those attribute comes next after money..that is the only language women understand... for me.. when I get married I will ban my wife from using that statement.. "I love you" .. cuz I know it's a lie.. they love the money u have never you...

Well, @OP, there is no special way to absorb your heartbreak.. just don't kill urself..
And try your best to talk less to her.. it will help. Again every one has a blemish, we all just pretended we never saw them..

Like my ex that I adore is very black like kogi indigenes, and I dislike such deep darkness but set it aside and loved her.. now I focus on that to build the dislike so I can have justification and peace..

@OP, do the same. There is sure something not ok with her but u ignored.. build ur mind around that thing and dislike her from there.. but don't call her again..

The more you call, the more she dislike you

100k daily??
Its a new whole level entirely...she's a big lady o


But I used to think well to do women are cool with any financially stable man

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

Sir,I just sent you an emali,kindly reply me sir
I need a particular issue to talk about and it has to do with your recent post on how your ex gf left you when u still earned 25k monthly and she earns 15daily


I'm in exact same situation now and I'd like to talk to you on how to handle it... I'm more concerned about increasing my income tho,just wanna know how your experience was and how u turned it all around