₦airaland Forum

sapiosexual: By the way there are radical islamic groups that think non muslims should be killed.
Does the fact that some muslims like to blow up stuffs and kill people make all muslims bad people? Does the fact that some extremist christian against abortion killed a doctor and burnt down abortion clinics make all christians bad people?
This is the era of third wave feminism, feminist are not fighting for the right to vote or the right to education anymore. Feminism these days is mostly individualistic. Most women are mostly fighting for themselves and their individual ideas of how they want to be treated. Most of the notable ones you keep mentioning are radical feminists and they are popular due to their radical ideologies. So as regards your question you might only find a few names to mention with regards to "notable feminists" but you will find several individualist feminist in long and happy marriages.

Most married women who are demanding for their rights are just normal women seeking to be treated like everyone else....and usually they are not notable in the movement.....Their leaders who make those hateful statements are seen and followed by the media and their activities have impacted negatively on the institution of marriage

Ewuro707: @bolded , You need your glasses on.
Just cos I don't eat pork doesn't make me a Moslem= My personal conviction. Just cos we believe in Equality/ treat all gender with Respect doesn't make us Feminists either.
Why don't you answer my question, do you believe in Patriarchy with your 'feminist' badge or still indecisive bout what 'Yoruba' (zero bride price) Christian Feminism ideal entail? Last time I checked Feminism and True Christianity clash like water and oil.
Good luck.

I doff my hat for you!

Who said they are scared of Jonathan running? In fact the only way they can beat PDP is to make sure that Jonathan runs! Because if the PDP presents a strong Northern candidate for president it will seriously affect Tambuwal's chances of wining!.

bukatyne: Was your moniker hijacked?
You know most of the feminazis you quoted have issues and you still opened this thread?

This thread have served and still serves its purpose of exposing the evil effects of mainstream feminism on marriage... if you chose to ignore that that's your loss.

sapiosexual: One of the reasons so many women say "I'm not a feminist but..." (And then put forward a feminist position), is that in addition to being stereotyped as man-hating Amazons, feminists have also been cast as antifamily and antimotherhood.

The truth is that most feminists leaders by their speech always have one of two bad things to say about the family and marriage. Many of them are bitter women....Imagine a feminist group saying that all women need to identify as lesbians before they can be seen as true feminists! And that is why most married women hesitate to identify themselves as feminists because of the negative connotation of that word.

bukatyne: Dear brother dinachi, retrace my steps to where?
Considering the fact that you see nothing wrong in a man cheating on his wife, I think I will stay where I am.
When I marry and my home is blissful, come and arrest me

Where did I say that i support men cheating on their wives? Where?

opposites attract!

Every good relationship is supposed to CHANGE you for the better... please do not relate with anybody who has no value he or she is adding to your life......That is why two good heads are better than one..

Both of them needs to make amends. Relationship is all about compromise..

He hasn't moved on yet...be patient...

[quote author=Efemena_xy]hmm...I don't mind him answering you before me as you posed your question first.
But I dey vex with Sir Dinachi. Coogar just jumped the queue and in Dinachi's typical Naija-fashion-of-keeping-the-ladies-waiting-without-so-much-an-apology he expects me to just 'let it pass'. What injustice.
Oya, I still dey hold my second position in the queue sha.
Dinachi, don't disappoint! [/quote]You have your answer stop repeating the questions .Are you dense?

ypepe: C dinachi, b4 I wanted to just troll and hv fun but after going tru ur numerous monikers and threads, I know that something is def wrong somewhere.
What is it?
Change moniker, use gutter language but do spewak out. Opening threads upon threads and hvin errrection on any female bashing related thread won't help u either.
U r hidding under a shell. It will snap and break u one day.
Even coogar has quietly shifted ground.
Non of these ladies r what u r accusing them off.
U r hurting, open up.
U hv created new monikers again
I give up.
Like I said b4, chilli and ile r not d same person.
99.9% of pple on nl will tell u d same thing.

Stop getting high blood pressure on a matter that is very clear..... i have stated the purpose of the thread in my response to coogar. if you missed it that just shows how dense you are...who told you that coogar has shifted ground....he is his own man ..and will always do his thing....I did not set out primarily to get followers....I simply wanted to expose the dangerous effects of mainstream feminism on the marriage institution which i hold dear....as it now happened many people here who call themselves feminists do not even know the evil focus of the leaders of the group till i started exposing quotes from some of them against the institution of marriage ....and true to type ..I DID NOT SEE ANY ONE OF YOU CONDEMN THOSE QUOTES...so what does that make you?

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Really?
What makes her relationship worth fighting for? Okay, let's put the shoe on the other foot, then you tell me (honestly) what your stance will be:
~ You go shopping with your girl. Rather than take you home as agreed, she goes home, leaves you waiting in the car for 1 hour without so much an explanation (total lack of respect)
~ Eventually you go up to meet her, only to find she's 'working' on her laptop. You try to get her attention and it degenerates into a struggle. Rather than sort it out between yourselves, she calls her father on the phone. He comes over and chastises you. You're forced to apologise to her father. (unable to handle conflict amicably without involving 3rd parties)
~ Her family postpone and eventually cancel the wedding without so much an explanation to you or your family. (undermining your role as a man)
~ She dumps you via text message (total disregard for you. Very insulting I daresay)
~ She hooks up with someone else and is leaves you hanging. (blatant cheating on you).
~ After months, her friend tortures you with tales of how the other man in her life hooked her with 'Jazz' she hasn't been herself. Her friend 'offers' to bring you back together (mocking your predicament)
~ Your now ex sends you texts telling you to 'move on'.
So, tell me, will you accept this in the name of 'love'?[/quote]First you must apologize for leaving the thread abruptly and returning without adequate notice...that aside....there are other aspects of the relationship that she did not disclose here....so take what you are reading with that understanding...I have a better understanding of the issues as raised. Both are wrong and if she follows my advice with her heart, the relationship will be saved...

onegig: Yes she caused the problem but what happened after is the main issue.
Why can't he forgive his potential spouse ?
Is this their first time of having disagreements?
Put yourself in the guys hoes, Your bride to be offended you, you reacted and she comes to her senses and asked for forgiveness. If you truly "wanted" her what would you have done?
If he can't forgive her, she should be the one running away from him because she would offend him 1000 times when they get married. Question is; Is she willing to be married to someone who won't forgive her misdeamenours?
Dinachi, open your eyes and reason with your brains please. I Would love you disappoint me about the preconcieved notion i have about you.
Look at the bigger picture and advise her accordingly. I

You already have a pre concieved notion....keep it all to yourself


From what I know, this is not the first time they have had the disagreement...both are differing personalities.... and most of the time the fault have been hers.... the guy is a careful meticulous person...she is the carefree playful type... Actually the guy feels she is taking him for granted...and that is why....he is really offended....she truly loves the guy from what I know......and I believe that the relationship has a good chance of survival..

PureOhio: Efemenaxy after reading OP's response to Coogar.
https://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/britney-spears-sad.gif

ypepe: So one person can open several handles?
I said it. This guy is seriously hurting and don't want to open up.
Pls use another moniker to tell us what is wrong. Some peeps might be of help.
I can bet my new yr chicken that it has to do with d women in his life.
His erractic behaviour at the randy pastor's thread gave him away so much.
Is ur fingers not paining u?
I can c u hv so much time.
Chillisause and Ileobatojo r never d same. Also Ileo can never create another handle.

How do you know that they are not the same people? How do you know that she can't create another handle? These are burning questions!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Dinachi hasn't got a clue. He really hasn't.
Maybe in 10 years time, he'll understand what's being said here...[/quote]If I recall correctly you are supposed to have unfollowed this thread.

The fact that you don't have a handle on relationship issues is not my fault.

From what I know her relationship is worth fighting for.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]No you haven't.
Now answer the question, damn it!
I'm disappointed in you.
Hiding behind a skirt to fight your battles? I expected much more from you Dinachi.
Shame really. Maybe all the stuff being said about you is true then? Re: opening several monikers to attack others and defend yourself?[/quote]i do not want to believe that you have degenerated this much. I won't beat about the bush with you . Your answer lies in my response to coogar. If it does not appeal to your feminist hide that's your loss.

And you disparaging another woman because she did not agree with you is the classical tactic of feminists!

onegig: Seriously, I had to laugh.
It is no secret that like 80 per cent of ladies here who have advised cosmass are married and doing well with their families. So i don"t see where your jealousy idea is coming from. No one disagrees marriage is an easy thing but why would you fight for a lost cause?
Why would you fight for someone who has clearly told you, you dont figure in his plans?
Cossmass is even making excuses for his outrightly rude behaviour. If you are looking for a reason he spoilt you bad during your dating then you need not go far. He sees nothing important in you and feels you are after his money and not worth being his wife. Most Nigerian guys are like that, they spend money on you, use you while having a spare gal somewhere they are grooming to marry. Its that simple. You have been used and need to move on. He intiating marriage proposals was a mistake and "the powers that be" who control him from behind the scenes hve told him you are not worth it and just useless and quite bad for you he AGREES with them.

The lady said the whole problem started from an argument... she didn't explain details...please read between the lines....you don't expect her to expose everything here.

She knows that she caused the problem and wants to make amends ...that makes sense to me.

kundi90: Now I need to ask; how old are you? You don't sound matured.

And you do?

PureOhio: You're quite insecure then.
Him replying Coogar is basically him high-giving a team member. They are on the same side of an argument. If I was the one that asked the same question he would have replied me before you.
Even though you're feigning "sitting on the fence" any intelligent mind would know you are not on OP's side of argument judging from your posts, hence his reason for ignoring your obvious question.
But calling him a sexist though? Haba?
"Why didn't you answer me first?" Lol

Classic! I endorse this message!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Who says I'm being sarcastic here?
I asked you that question long before Coogar asked his. Why did you choose to ignore mine? You aren't being sexist here are you? Putting a male before me? Even though I got there long before him?
If that's how you think a guy should behave towards the opposite sex, can you then blame the women from turning feminist?[/quote]Well, when you asked that question you put the word intelligent in quote marks. Can you kindly explain why? Secondly I thought you were still joking.

Finally I have answered you so whats the fuss about?

[quote author=Efemena_xy]^^ Oh I know what love is.
I'm asking you for your opinion - or you haven't got an opinion of your own??
It that it?
You should have said!
*** Unfollows thread!***[/quote]What do you want to do with my opinion?

Woged2005: If u fight ur way into a position, u fight forever to remain there, and one day will be beaten out by a stronger hand!.. what belongs to u comes to you without fights. Let's not mistake 'Love' with 'Obsession'. If this was love in the first place forgiveness would have been easy, whatever the offense was. The fact that this has lingered uptill this moment simply means, the issue is strong & deep-seated. Somehow you are right that we don't have all the facts because we've only heard from one side anyway. We may be rushing to judgement here. The man's family may know something, or have secret information we don't know about OP, & have reasons to 'stick to their guns'.

Marriage is not a bed of roses it takes a lot of hard work.

kundi90: @op, take donachi's advice and you have sold the only thing you have in the relationship/marriage. Do you know the reason a man respects his wife? He respects her, because she makes him humble, the other way around. He has the money, and also would make you fight for him. Then what would you donate to the marriage? Sex? I pity you!

Leave her alone go and get your own!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]You assume that everyone reading your post or taking you seriously is a Christian? So how does that help non-Christians? Shouldn't you as an individual have an opinion of your own on what love is?
C'mon Dinach, it's not that hard a question! [/quote]Google is your friend!

kundi90: The guy has said she should move on, so what hope are you giving her unless you also want to 'chop' her?
@ Cosmass be very careful! No true helper writes his email address thrice. That shows desperation!

You are a joke . She sent me a mail, I didn't request for it so whats your own? I don't really know why you are beefing this girl so much.Are you addicted to wickedness?

You that have commented more than three times shows you are desperate to stop her from going back to her love. i detect hints of jealousy in you. Please stop beefing her God will give you your own!

People Demonising People (PDP) have decieved us for 14 years, I know APC is far from perfect but I am more than willing to see the other side. Lets taste another meal jare. I AM TIRED OF PDP.

I believe I have answered it in response to coogar's post above..cheers ....and stop being sarcastic.

jenny2007: @op, i advise u to ignore all these people throwing insults at u here. Most of the people cursing u out will even die there if they were to be in the same situation. They say that talk is cheap. Most people here will also do what u are doing now and come out to pretend that they are strong emotionally. Sweetie i know that u like or love thiis guy. Its even worse cos u both fought over something so better and he calls off the engagement. He might be jazzed or might not be. You need to pray foor you an then for him then my dear you have to remember that at the end of the day you are the one that comes first. Respect yourself and stop pleading becos u have tried. I recommend NC [NO CONTACT RULE) for at least 3months. Google it pls. Just take those 2months to work on urself and no matter how hard it feels dont contact him. Tell the mutual friend too that you will like to move on and he shld mentioning ur ex in conversations with you or givn u updates about him. I swear that if ur ex finds out that ur over him he will want to come back to know whether or not he still has a hold on you. It will be now left to you to accept him back or not becos you will be emotionally stronger by then. Its hard but theres no harm in tryn. U nid to win back ur respect in his eyes. Goodluck

Reasonable post I concur with most of what you said! But i think she should also consider my advice.

@ EFE the only definition of love i agree with is the one in Corinthians, if you don't like then google is your friend!

coogar: every man & his dog already know the spread of feminism & the divorce rate are directly proportional. there cannot be 2 captains in a ship so it's an irony/hypocritical for a feminist to even desire marriage.

Some people do not know that yet!

The thread have helped in no small measure to show the negative effects of mainstream feminism to the institution of marriage and the family and why every sensible woman who longs for a good home to raise good children should should avoid the despicable movement and focus squarely on fighting for the rights of all MEN WOMEN AND CHILDREN to create a healthy balance in the home!

@ OP hold your head high and fight for your love. Most of the advisers here will fight for love too . Don't mind what they say here most of them live a life far different from what they represent here. So be careful of what you hear.

They are making noise. Some of them here would even have gone to juju long ago. Fake people!

Follow your heart but use your head .

kundi90: You have to, in the least add some uncertainty to your assertion that I am a lady. Yes, it good for a lady to marry a rich guy, but the guy just has to show her some respect and must importantly, love her. Why would you advice her to new willing to drink his "shit", all in the name of marrying a rich guy. Can you as a guy do that to a lady, because you have a deep pocket? I for one cannot do what that guy did. He should at least tell her why he called off the wedding. It is obvious you have not read the other threads. Someone like Efemena_xy understands my point. I am certain the guy would do worse when he marries her. No wonder many of them (married women) are attempting suicide.

You are not certain the guy will do worse after marriage because no love story is the same! Every relationship has a history.When i gave her my advice she wanted to send me a mail. That shows that there are underlining issue she may not want to discuss here. Also remember the guy never talk his own side of the story. How can you conclude when you have not heard from both sides? And from the way she was telling her story i could sense that she knows that she wronged the guy. Her situation to me is peculiar and i will not want to wave it off just like that. I could feel her pain and i understood that . I don't know how you couldn't see the same and yet you are a woman....

@ EFE love have various definitions. Mostly, it can't be explained. To me the best description of love is found in Corinthians.

Chillisauce: Sir Dinachi is closet gay. Something that has to do with a missionary school.
He is bittered about it but can't change the past.
Now, don't ask me how I know.

I am very happy to know i give you the shivers and the jitters! You will just have to live with it i don't suffer trolls easily.Your loss.