₦airaland Forum

bukatyne: @OP

Except you have met with all feminists, I don't think your queation is reasonable.

Just as different people inteprete the Bible in different ways, feminists are also view life and the man woman relationahip differently

Anyways, thanks I think I really need to read up Chidinma, we have the same opinion regarding men and their pockets

Most hard core feminists are also atheists because they think that religion is against women. My take is that before you become a feminist you should know that it is a sure way to a divorce.
Let me quote one of them

“God is going to change. We women… will change the world so much that He won’t fit anymore.” Naomi Goldenberg, Changing of the Gods: Feminism and the End of Traditional Religions.

damiso: Live and let live OP.Success in Life is not about marriage only. .Marriage or being married is not the be all and end all of a womans existence.

I agree success is not about marriage only and I also believe that the hard core feminists do marriage a lot of harm with their unrealistic ideologies.
The reason why this thread was opened was basically to show THAT THOSE MARRIED WOMEN OR SINGLE WOMEN WHO BLINDLY FOLLOW THIS IDEOLOGY SHOULD BE WELL AWARE OF WHERE IT WILL LEAD THEM. THERE IS NO KNOWN HARDCORE FEMINIST WHO IS SUCCESSFULLY MARRIED!

ileobatojo: You're giving this OP way too much credit.

You need to realize that some people simply have no use for common sense.

Maggot brain, what are you doing on my thread? Jerking off? Your obsession with any thread I author is getting out of hand . Yaba Left beckons!

[quote author=miss.terious]There is liberal feminism , radical feminism , separatist feminism , conservative feminism , etc. I think the one the OP is against is radical & separatist feminism[/quote]Yeah, good job!

How come it is only the man that will have to pay even though beyonce on her own is rich?

4teelaw: So you support equality? U seem not to be in full grasp of reality here. In real life women are seem as furniture and glorified housemaid, wake up n smell d coffee.

Which women are seen as glorified furniture or Housemaid? As long as your husband loves you, he will treat you nice and vice versa. I have always believed in equality but not the way feminists go about it. If we practice it by the book, then the women will be on the receiving end. 80 % of men marry downwards. That is women that are economically inferior. Equality will mean that men will never marry women unless the woman can foot bills equally with him. Why most feminist lose their marriage is because they enter it in the first mode with a combative mood. They are not willing to follow the lead of their husband because to do that will mean that their rights are being trampled upon. They debate and argue with their husband at every opportunity to prove that they are not subservient. They resist his leadership because they hate submission. Note here that they will gladly submit to female boss in the office but never to the leadership of their husbands. They go into marriage with a sense of competition not to complement their husbands. THAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH FEMINISTS

https://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1266292.1361080799%21/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/beyonce17n-11-web.jpg

So I came across the pre-nup agreement between Jay-Z and Beyonce and I must confess it looked more like a business proposal to me than a marriage. See excerpts from the list:

See here :http://davidchuks..com/2013/12/beyonce-and-jayz-marriage-or-bussiness.html#more

Fallotti: You should be a moderator of you own thread. . .but here you are acting like an embittered and sexually-frustrated 'fish-wife'.

You need to put your thread in order and stop acting like a true NL VAGABONIAN MODEARATOR OR SUPER MODERATOR with no home-training!

All the best with your useless thread. . . I have had my ere-ction. . . YOU MAKE QUITE A LOUSY PHOCK!

I don't find thread starters who reply every post ON THEIR OWN THEAD appealing. . .it shows you are not here to genuinely discuss issues. . .BUT TO SEEK ATTENTION.

I hope you find it soon. . . to soothe your nerves.

Gash!. . .What a classless OP with absolutely no form of social decorum. . . .ALATIKA!

*thread unfollowed*

Good riddance!

You can serve the lord elsewhere.

Nomski0: No. The above is how to be a feminist and a good wife. It shows you can be both. .

I beg to disagree , feminism and good wife can never be in the same sentence.

Fallotti: Does Clare SSSShime look like a feminist to you?
It looks like you do not understand the word 'feminism'.
Why are you attacking posters on your thread?
You are such a MANNERLESS HOST.
People like you should not start threads.
No wonder you can only afford to 'date' a MARRIED PASTOR!
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!

You need to pause and recollect yourself. You are just all over the place. With the way you are talking about dating only rich married PDP bigwigs you came across like a Clara Chime wannabe, simple.

Nomski0: To me, being a Feminist is not about equating yourself to your husband, its about upgrading him. Socially, financially and making him stay relevant. Its about being that woman who completes his dynasty. Its about being his equal, but still playing your part and letting him play the lead role.


#teamIndependentwomen. [/color]

That is called being a good wife not being a feminist!

Nomski0: No matter how wealthy he gets or how much power he wields, his dynasty is incomplete without you.

#teamIndependentwomen. [/color]

And vice versa

Fallotti: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!
And I am told I needed to see a 'shrink'!
So we have people preaching MARRIAGE ON NL. . .WAITING FOR MARRIAGE PROPOSALS FROM MARRIED GAYYY PASTORS?

Oturugbeke o!
Thread don catch faya!
Mu che che che che che che che

DESPERATION OF OLD CARGOS NIGERIA PLC!

Another Clara Chime in the making.

[quote author=flawless..S]Thanks I will always stand by my husband no matter what but what am trying to say is men should treat us better[/quote]@ bolded are you treating men better? Remember we are talking equality.

[quote author=flawless..S]some men are selfish and self centered and thinks the female folks are lesser beings. Am not married yet but when I do the bills will be split and also some house work.[/quote]Women are more selfish by far than men. The man pays all the bills from the wedding to the later and yet you still expect him to help in house chores, clean the baby, cook and still exert his energy making love to you. Some women need to understand that men no be jacky.

I believe in balance, I preach balance. If a man loses his job and the onus of providing for the family falls on the woman, she should not make any fuss about it. That is the only brand of feminism that makes sense.

4teelaw: Chauvinism speaking! Dude, go and fry plantain, I can't bet you are not even married. Come back to this post when u r married. There are no great marriages! Each marriage is unique and both parties have to respect each other and compromise to make it work.
By the way, call me a feminist, I fight for female liberation and empowerment, I carry out women related projects and I have a very supportive husband who helps me on my projects and polishes my ideas.

I also support his endeavours, and I can give me last drop to encourage his passion. It's about compromise and understanding. Look at Hilary Clinton with over 30 years in marriage. I have known my hubby 8 years now, so I have a head start and I believe I can speak from experience, unlike you.

@ bolded is the only part that makes sense, the rest belongs to the trash can.

4teelaw: My dear, you can't plan for what you will encounter in marriage, it is dynamic and you have to steer with the tide. Just make sure you marry your best friend and an open minded individual.
A woman is meant to support a man, and a man is meant to love his wife. If your hubby gets broke, the onus lies on you to hold the family and get him back to his feet. This is the women's liberation I preach. Get a job, make money as a woman, because if your husband dies 2mrw, God forbids, who will you run too? Another man?

Now you are talking!

Chillis: https://www.nairaland.com/1547985/bad-news-gays-pedoph1les-claim


I guess I started this topic then

Yes you did
From Chillisauce to Chillis to chi to c to nothing. Someone is heading towards extinction.

Back to the topic Feminism only makes sense when women attitudes change. When women pay bills equally. Wedding bills are split down the middle, When you go out every one pays for their drinks and food. Nobody expects the man to pick up the bills. yeah at that point I may listen to the gibberish.

[quote author=flawless..S]dinachi its the male folks that made us feminist. if we are treated well no one will one to be a feminist[/quote]That is neither here no there. Chinamanda Adichie's speech on feminism makes a lot of sense. The world is changing but the truth remains that certain things should be left the way they are for balance. Men and women need to imbibe the change to move forward that is where core feminists miss it. You can't demand equality but give nothing in return. A man will gladly accept feminists ideology if the wife shares equal responsibility in all things. You can't demand equality only when ,you want his help in washing dishes, taking care of children, cooking and cleaning the house but decline when it comes to paying bills! That is double standards. And then you should be able to rise to the challenge when the man is financially down without any complaints. That is the only brand of feminism that makes sense to me. Men for centuries have been taking care of their families without complaints but a situation where a woman does that for a short period and complains proves she is not a true feminist.

And those who think, I don't love women are wrong. I cherish the female folk but I hate nonsense!

[quote author=flawless..S]answer my questions please[/quote]Google is your friend.

theLORDreigns: Na wa for my Nigerian brothers oo, lol. They trying to chop my head off.

Well, on a more serious note, let's say for instance, a married man is working & also helping his wife do the house chores as well. His wife also works & shares in the house chores. They have kids & they are not interested in the services of a house help. This is a typical example of equality in marriage.

Suddenly the wife can no longer perform her house duties for some temporary reason, BUT it is up to her to determine if it remains temporal or not. So instead of her working towards getting back on her feet & supporting her husband with the house chores, she just relaxes and says to herself nonchalantly "afterall, marriage is all about equality" "what is wrong if HE does all the housework"

Will this not lead to disagreement?

Just the same way it was up to the banker's husband to decide to go get ANY job or just lazy around while his wife did everything. It caused a disagreement. Unfortunately, it lead to abuse.

Are u telling me now that if anyone of you lost a job, you would not know how to make any income no matter how small. Especially, if you had a family to cater for.

'My wife works' is a lazy man's excuse to not cater for his family oo. Ewww!

Come on guys, you all can't think that we women are so naïve.

Before your feminist gibberish can make sense , you have to be sharing equally in all financial responsibilities

Fallotti: PLEASE, Nigerian women IN NIGERIA ESPECIALLY GET MARRIED OUT OF DESPERATION!
When a successful woman gets hitched to a LAZY man. . . what do you expect?

ALL THE NOLLYWOOD FEMALES ARE THE BREAD-WINNERS IN THE HOMES. . . Where are the men to be supportive?
Who wants to leave with a LAZY BEAST, given to DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Which of those Nigerian woman are not BATTERED WOMEN?

Feminisim means COUNT YOUR LOSES AND GET THE HELL OUT OF OF A USELESS MARRIAGE!!!!

Phock 'em men!

I am an a FEMINIST-HOOKER. . . IN MARRIAGE!!!! I LOVE PDP BIG BOYS!!!! Bite me!

@ bolded, simply stated you love sugar daddies!

[quote author=flawless..S]^^^thanks for that. I have some question to ask first who is a feminist 2. what do u mean by mainstream feminist? beyonce is a feminist listen to her songs and also the interview is granted on why she featured chimamanda I should love to share a link but am on phone now.[/quote]Beyonce's marriage to Jay z is a business proposal. Did you see excerpts of the pre-nup agreement I posted earlier?

dommfa: Why you so pained though..did you just get divorced by your feminist wife..?

Anyway, prove to us that princess is a feminist or her marriage was ruined because of feminism or forever remain silent..

I have no business with any confused woman who calls herself a feminist in Nigeria. If you spend equally with me without complaints, then I am okay with it and can listen to your gibberish. If not you can take your feminist ideology and shove it up your ass. Most feminists are rude to men and humility is not one of their virtues. The fact that Commedienne Princess went to twitter to call out the pastor of a church because she was not allowed to sit in the front because of her skimpy irresponsible dress portrays her as a woman without humility which is a hallmark of most feminists!

[quote author=flawless..S]Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Beyonce Knowle.[/quote]Great try! However these are not mainstream feminists. I will shortly quote excerpts from Chinamanda adichie's speech. You be the judge.

"We must raise our daughters differently. We must also raise our sons differently. We are doing grave disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity becomes this hard, small cage and we put boys inside the cage.

WE TEACH BOYS TO BE AFRAID OF FEAR. We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves, because they have to be, in Nigeria's speak, a hard man.

What if both boys and girls were raised not to link masculinity with money. What if the attitude was not that the boy has to pay, but rather, whoever has more should pay. Of course because of the historical advantage, it is mostly men who will have more today; but if we start raising our children differently, then in 50 years, in 100 years, boys will no longer have the pressure to prove their masculinity".

She advocates a balance which core feminists disagree with. In fact she makes a case for boys or men too and of course she made a lot of sense. Beyonce is not really a feminist except you now want to say because she included Chinamanda's speech on feminism in one of her songs makes her one. Even at that, last time, there were news about beyonce's marriage being in turmoil. Chinamnda still maintains her maiden name even though she is married.

Any way let me include the prenup agreements between Beyonce and Jayz for you reading pleasure . You be the judge.

The prenup calls for Jay Z to pay Beyonce $10 million if the marriage ends after 2 years, and $1 million a year for each further year she remains in the marriage, up to 15 years ...

He promised to pay her an additional $5 million for each child she bears for him - for her loss of income during the pregnancy and child rearing years ...

And Beyonce would be granted access to their private jet and fleet of cars, which includes a $1 million 1959 Rolls-Royce convertible.

IS THIS A MARRIAGE OR A BUSINESS PROPOSAL?

https://naijamayor.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/gov-Kwankwaso-2.jpg

The Executive Governor of Kano State Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso has called out the President saying he has converted the party to a personal item.

See how the Nation Newspaper is reporting it:


Governor Rabi’u Kwankwaso of Kano State yesterday asked Nigerians to work together to kick out the Peoples Democratic Party(PDP) out of power in 2015.
Nigerians, he said , are yearning for change in every facet of life and the time for it has come.
The governor spoke when a delegation of the former CPC members from Kano, led by Brig. Gen. Lawal Jafaru Isa (rtd), paid him a solidarity visit at the Government House, Kano.
“Every rational person knows that we need change. The PDP used to be an umbrella for everybody, but it is now a hat for one man. Some people are holding the country hostage so we must come together to rescue it”, he said.
“The issue is not that of tribalism. Nigerians, irrespective of where they come from, have been existing as friends and brothers for long, but when somebody from the South South took over the mantle of leadership of the country, things started drifting. That is why we must come together to save this country”, he added.
He stressed that in every democratic system, citizens have a right to voice out their feelings, regarding how they are governed, explaining that the APC is a collection of progressives that are not only determined to cry out against injustice, but also determined to ensure that Nigerians get the right calibre of people to lead them.
On the recent defection of five PDP governors to the APC, Governor Kwankwaso stated that it is only a tip of the iceberg, pointing out that more governors will soon leave the party as it has lost credibility and potency to take Nigeria to the Promised Land.
Governor Kwankwaso described his guests as partners in progress, highlighting that it is in line with his belief in the politics of ideology and development as against enmity and mistrust.
In his speech, Brig. Gen. Isa told the governor that the visit was to express their solidarity and loyalty to the governor as leader of the APC, urging him to carry everybody along in the quest to ensure that the ruling PDP is dislodged at all levels in the country.
“ The APC has its problems which can be resolved amicably. We urge you to be patient and continue to provide good leadership to the people. All members of the party are equal so I wish to appeal to you to call our members that have grudges to come forth so that things can be sorted out. Our doors are open, and as progressives, we must be willing to embrace all.”
The former CPC chietain was accompanied to the Government House, Kano by a former Deputy Governor of the state, Engr. Magaji Abudullahi; Alhaji Aliyu Danmaraya; Alhaji Haruna Ungogo; Alhaji Sabo Nanono and Alhaji Hamisu Buhari, among others.
http://davidchuks..com/2013/12/the-pdp-used-to-be-umbrella-for.html#more

sunkoye: U can't eat ur cake and have it.

Don't mind feminists. They want to eat their cake and still have it. Their ideologies have ensured that none of them can stay in a marital relationship. Most end up as Lesbians and never married women or have multiple divorces to their name.

[quote author=fresh_dude]This, right here, is why Nigerian men are unrepentantly patriachal and won't take women serious. So, you believe all that comedy you wrote and expect that a Nigerian man will be remotely interested in anything domestic.[/quote]My brother, don't mind the jokers. They want to eat their cake and still have it.

pickabeau1: So if I get your post correctly

If a man in the family has financial challenges;
He should send his wife home to his inlaws until the situation improves or else he should bear the consequences

He is a socker for not having the money to back up his religious claims of household head

Interesting..

Also is there a bible that can help the menfolk with the attitude that will guarantee their wive's non-abuse in times of financial difficulties

PS are you a feminist also..
If you are then is this in line or contrary to the tenets of equality where a man or woman can [b]equally provide for the family

[/b]

That is my problem with wannabe feminists. Many of them do not even understand what they are advocating for. They are totally confused bunch. Equality means , the man and the woman shares equal financial responsibility including the wedding expenses, schools fees of Children, !

lertee: Is Princess a feminist? The fact that her marriage broke up doesn't mean she's a feminist. Stop associating divorce to feminism and vice versa.

I take this to mean there is none, right?

4teelaw: No one has a great marriage. We all have to make it work, so ur question is null and void

This post is just to show the injurious nature of feminism to marriage. And your post just prove me right. A lot of people have great marriages until feminist ideologies show up!