₦airaland Forum

There's a lot we can learn from them.

From the response here, too many Nigerians support evil and many even celebrate it. Whether it is corruption or cheating or fraud, many Nigerians especially the menfolk actively support it out of a sense of tribal or gender sentiments.

Thank you op. I loved all of these. Wholesome eye bleach material. We need more content like this on the internet.

she's right though. She may have not been able to change the path but she's sharing it so others can avoid the same fate. That's commendable.

Thank you for this. Wanted to get one but wondered what other Nigerian food I could possibly make with it.

Why do most guys nowadays feel the need to tell women what to be to please guys? Or tell Other guys the kind of women they should be with? You don’t speak for all men. Some of us like different things from other people and that’s fine. Some men love their women sexually experienced, with high libido and a pinch of sass. Some men prefer women that can command in the bedroom and the boardroom. Some men like their women more conservative, reserved and that’s okay.

Different strokes for different people. That all your experience with women were terrible says a lot about you. Women are not this flawless perfect creature. Nah. In fact, if you start to look at people beyond gender, you’ll pick out a lot of similarities and that’s because we are humans first and males or females second. Different personalities. The good, the bad and the ugly. If you’re constantly dating people who sees you as an ATM, what’s it about you that makes you drawn to them? Emotional intelligence is necessary. A woman’s value or compatibility is less tied to her casa dela meow more than you think. But that’s a topic for another day.

Let people be. In time, this toxic pills trend will pass too like others before them. It’s already obvious some of you are milking this trend for money. Content sells. The Andrew Tates of the world making big bucks just shilling content to gullible angry consumers. I see gidi here also trying to create a brand name with his content.

Anyone who works in creative/content/advertising field can smell it from miles away.

Blueicetea:
TBM Tales by moonlight
Anyways

If (true)
{ tell your wife you have decided to adopt the housemid}

Looks like Javascript code

The one blaming girls up there is acting like aids cares about gender. Keep blaming the womenfolk instead of taking personal responsibility for your life. Learn self control and try being faithful. Believe it or not, they work when both partners do it.

Klass99:
You're welcome. How are you doing now? I hope your head space and heart are in a better place, than when you first got the news.

Oh I'm doing much better than I thought I would. At first, I'd wake up and think I should call her because it's been a while and then I'd remember and the pain Would hit again. Now, that only happens once in a while.

Thank you for your kindness. It meant more than you know. Wishing you a great week ahead, Klass.

Klass99:
Genuine condolences, I am so sorry to hear this.

Thank You so much

wealthtrak:
Deep insights.

Thank you

malcom1X:
Are you ready for the 3rd jab?

Third jab of the cervical cancer vaccine? Heck yeah! Read properly before commenting next time. You have taken vaccines for measles, polio, etc as a baby. Thank your parents who made sure of that. Otherwise, the quality of life you have now might have been much different. So yes, after losing my mom last year to cervical cancer, I'm going to take the jab of the Cervarix. Thanks.

Those blessed with good wives and husbands, especially in these last days where people are becoming increasingly self centered and unfaithful, they are truly divinely favoured.

otipoju:
Sadly this is the experience of a large number of men in marriage.

Men should have options. Wether concubines or other wives...dont hide it from your wife. Let her know you have. It helps save a lot of needless stress.

This is terrible advice and from the experience of those around you, you should know that it doesn't solve the problem. Adding fuel of adultery to a burning house doesn't extinguish the fire. It makes it burn faster. She needs to get help to deal with her issues or separate from the ma so he can freely build a more peaceful life for himself.

better to solve a problem than create a new one to escape the old.

No woman/man should withhold sex from her husband/wife like this except for medical reasons or if they both agree. This is not fair. On the other hand, no spouse should cheat on the other.
1 Corinthians 7️⃣ vs 8 says “So don't refuse sex to each other, unless you agree not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer. Then Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (CEV translation ) that's how important sex is.
I don't need to tell you how strongly adultery is frowned upon in the Bible. Consistently the Bible speaks against it. That your wife has to agree to go for counselling and sort out her issues or kindly agree to a divorce. She can't hold you hostage. You have been faithful and that's commendable. Her actions are directly fueling your path to destruction. She is making it so that you can be tempted and then go against your principles and worse, become an adulterer. Marriage is for companionship too and sex is a huge part of that kind of intimacy.
I do not play with principled men and faithful men. They are rare especially when they are genuine in their efforts to do right. If more men were like that, the foundation of society today would be much more different.

Tell her to get help and NOW.

PS: IF she's menopausal and it has affected her sex drive, or she's struggling with v-j dryness which can be painful and causes tear down there, she can get help for it from the hospital. There are special hormonal supplements designed for the issues women go through during menopause. Whatever it is, she must agree to make efforts to get help. You deserve a sexually rich life in your marriage too. Sending you both love ❤️ and light �

Your selfishness as a man is showing. Your wife has fgm and doesn't get to enjoy one of life's primal pleasures but somehow, in your mind, it is the man that's worse off for it. Not the poor woman who needs extra care to partake in something that most takes for granted. But you, the man.
Something is seriously wrong with you. On a very fundamental level. I'm sure if your wife came to you with a story like yours, you'll demand her head to appease you. Mind you, she can enjoy sex too with the right person who understands female anatomy and knows his way around it. Heck, even the right woman could rock her world if she's lucky to meet one.
That secret you're carrying will soon wreck your health. What the mind stores, the body keeps score of. Watch as your mental health deteriorates and your body in tandem.

Tell your wife the truth. I hope she divorces you and get time to heal. If she decides to stick it out, I hope you two go for counseling and then you in particular go for sexual counseling too. Get to learn about how to make love the right way. The right way varies for different people because each person is unique. Most importantly, you two just must make compromises. I hate long distance marriages, even more than long distance relationships. The ones that work are the exceptions. Too often, something goes wrong.

As for that homely lady, let's hope she mends her ways too because if she could do all that with you knowing you were married, it's only a matter of time. The hypocrisy of the replies here were too glaring. A woman would have been crucified here for far less. Start by telling your wife the truth. Take whatever comes. But I'm really hoping she divorces you and gets herself a good g- spot vibrator. That seems to be better than a treacherous sniveling cheat swine of a husband.

…

Ahhh �

This is what happens when society judges the worth of a man based on how much he gained. The one in a car thinks he is better than the one riding on the okada. Money is good, no doubt. At the end of the day, it is a means to an end, not the end itself. How we define success matters a lot.
By all means, make the money. But ensure it is legal and clean. Then use it for good. Now that is success.

This wasn't always the case. People were excommunicated in the past for taking blood transfusions. In time they modified it to a conscientious decision with strong leaning to saying no to transfusions. Wouldn't be the first time.

Akinpresident:
No JW is compelled not to take blood. I know them very well. It's a personal decision of each JW based on their conscience. Even if someone goes ahead and take a transfusion, it doesn't mean they're no longer JW. It's an individual thing.

All this back and forth argument books down to one thing. If the man signed his card which is likely. I was a witness and we had this card in our pockets for situations like this. It stated that we were not to be transfused and listed someone who can make tough decisions on our behalf if we were unconscious. I left years ago. Some things didn't sit well with me. I hope for her Sake her husband wasn't one of those forgetful ones who misplace their cards or don't renew it on time. At any rate, there are Jehovah's witness lawyers who are experts in cases like this. There have been cars like this in several countries where the spouse or parent will be let go at the end. I feel sorry for her for losing her husband and being in this mess. I feel sorry for the family too who just lost their son. Everyone is hurting and lashing out.

NoToPile:
Since the guy is a Jehovah witness then he most likely had such beliefs and I belive the wife was upholding his beleiefs.

Technically she didn't do anything wrong IMO, it was also what the husband believed, but as we are Nigerians she should have told them but the husband will most likely not be okay with the Inlaws giving consent for blood transfusion.

As the title of your topic husband's /wives do take medical decisions for each other.

Haa lalasticlala has changed the title to another heading entirely, it's going to be an interesting ride.

Aren’t they like di1do extensions that can be worn by guys worn similar issues? Some can even c um and look very fleshlike. With his good oral skills and one of those, I bet he’d be okay. I mean some lesbians do utilize these toys too and a few men have been known to use it too. Some are designed to stimulate the wearer and the receiver so that both partners can enjoy the intimacy of being together. �‍♀️

I think it's high time that something is done about the vitriol being poured on ladies here. Believe it or not, people are affected by what they feed into their minds. Day in day out, men hop on platforms like nairaland to insult women and talk about them like they're less than, objects without value. What do you think people take away from that? What kind of impressions does such hate leave in the mound of young men? Men like gidiredpillers and his ilk spend the bulk of their time fanning this hate for women. In the end, they've succeeded in creating a space where women are seen as disposable objects that can be used and dumped at will. Once you see someone as less of a human than you, you lose the ability to feel empathy for them. Now Nigeria seems to be a dangerous place for women. This lady didn't go to a man's house o. She didn't follow a rich bf to bill him or whatever justification some Gus like to throw about. No. She didn't even board a private car. She wasn't dressed provocatively. She did everything right and still fell victim to animals that decided to kill her.
I'm tired. This story is heartbreaking. Everyday we hear stories of girls being kidnapped, killed and body parts missing. Some guys on this forum will still comment that Nigerian girls are useless and should be used for rituals. See that the nonsense you type can be taken seriously by a mad man. Be careful what you type out there. If you have nothing good to say and being neutral is impossible for you, then be silent. It is better than adding to the hate.
We are telling young boys that because some girls use men, it is okay to treat all women as disposables. As objects. If you are one of those guys, please stop. Take responsibility for your own actions and your words. Avoid women you don't condone their lifestyle. Don't come online to teach people to hate another human like them because of gender differences.
I don't understand how people can kill and hear their victims cry for help in terror and still strike. Lord may I never understand it.
May the soul of this poor girl Rest In Peace. May God expose the men behind this acts. May God keep us safe.

Honestly I agree with you about the brain. That's the best sex organ. The mind plays a big role in what feels pleasurable. Also yes, circumcision does suck for both genders. At least let people have a say, some sort of body autonomy.

jara:
What about Male Genital Mutilation?

Both men and women that were not circumcised are doing well.

The biggest sex organ is the brain. Some European that were never circumcised still frigid with their partner.

Turns out the clitoris is not just the little button outside. It's far deeper and extends inside. Let me attach a pic to this for clarity. The whole pink upside down V thing makes up the clit. So in her own case, the clitoral hood was removed. Only a teenie knob was left. With the right amount of pressure ( not force), and in the right mental state, she can get herself off. Although to hear her describe it, she says it feels rather lukewarm like she is not getting the full thing.
You can Google it. Or listen to tedtalks about the clitoris. Fgm sucks

Klass99:
Ehm......if she doesn't have a clitoris how is she enjoying clitoral orgasms?

Someone very dear to me had her clitoral hood removed as a baby. All of them in their family. Including the mom. It was done when they were all babies. It was a tradition in Enugu state because they believed it made a girl unpromiscuous. The joke is that she's married and struggles with libido and orgasms. She's married to a man with high libido too. lol. Luckily, she's proactive and have been vocal about learning in-depth about the female anatomy and how to enjoy sexual pleasure. Last I heard, she's making good progress with clitoral orgasms now and she's learning about the gspot.

Debunked as fake news years ago. Who moderates comment on this nairaland platform?

Rahlia, the sugar girl

chukwuma0000:
I stumbled on this picture somewhere and have forgotten the name of the book we read back in my primary school.