₦airaland Forum

A Father said to his son; Here comes your
teacher, you missed school today, Go and hide, i
will lie to him. The little Boy replied; Papa, don't
worry, i took an excuse that you died last week
tuesday, go and hide, so that I will not be a liar.

Bisjosh: Companion and commitment

No sex?

1 sex
2 respect
3 companion
....
....
...
And your Reasons?

Mine

A Blind Man bought a television.
A Deaf Man bought a radio.
A Dumb Man bought a walkie-talkie. People,
Who's the wisest among this Men?.

What's a POS Machine?

^^^ Thanks @Vicky...

Lolajoy: Where a yoruba girl knelt down in front of an ATM machine after collecting money 4rm an ATM machine.Yoruba girls have respect.

Hahahahahahahahahha!!!

When I was a kid! I always wanted to grow up to become an Armed Robber... I would raise my chest and proudly say " I want to be a Great Armed Robber" always thought they were honest careers and tough people are often involved.. Damn my Uncle for deceiving me all those years.

Until I got scolded in Primary 2.. Then I understood with an explanation from my teachers..

NIGERIA....My beloved country, where people.....
(Add urs)
~ Check d expiry date of gala after eating it.
~ Go to church with extension and BB
charger (charging in his presence).
... ~ Update on BBM "about 2 cross", get hit by a
car and still update "dying tinz"
~ Say an opening prayer at nite clubs
~ Go to an eatery and buy bottled water just
to watch a soccer match.
~ Go to a Shoprite, buy a bottle of coke and
spend 30mins snapping with champagne
bottles.
~ Dress in complete rainbow colours like its
rag day and call it colour blocking.
~ Count money after withdrawing from an
ATM (we trust no one, not even machines).
~ Wear head warmers at 45 degrees celsius.
Keep it rolling...

Ademab: [/color] [color=#000099] Abegi make una relax with is piece someone just dropped  could have copied it here but he plenty small. http://ademab./2012/06/14/najia-bible/ I'm very sure u will like it

Wow... That was classic..

I don't believe that CRAP

konari: they dont accept payment from naira mastercard users, so cant purchase. which sucks

Dude! I paid mine from the available Airtime on my phone.. Through "Vodacom"

All these girls for BB self, na everything una dey update? Saloon mood activated!shopping mood activated! Club mood activated!church mood activated swimming mood activated!flight mood activated! Make una dey update us wen Sex mood is activated toº°˚˚˚°º na?.
About to cross the road,got hit by okada and still update saying "dying thinz" WAF# When they get to shoprite they update! Shopping thingz!orisirisi update ! But when they are beaten by their boyfriends instead of saying #beatingmood or slapping mood what you seee is angrymood no pings!=))=D =D

Here is a screen shot!!!

Have you guys discovered the New RAM Optimizer Pro
It sure works. I received the Update Last Night.. About 10,000 Blackberry users already downloaded and confirmed the application, including Myself.
It sure ROCKS.. You should Check it out.
Don't be scared to pay the fee involved.
RIM Rocks...

CRACK UR RIBS!!!
-If 2face advertise condom, no buy am oo na fake...
-If Akala sells bleachin cream, buy am na original...
-If Torres is alone in front of goal, dont panic he wont
score...
-If Drogba sells juju charms, patronize him, na
confirm...
-If Patience Jonathan turns English teacher, no go her
school oo, na fake...
-If armed robbers visit Emirates stadium, dont worry,
dey wont visit d trophy cabinet...
If Messi hold ball, if e balance, if Ψσυ like warn your
defenders, na sure goal
-If Alex Ferguson sells chewin gum, buy am na
original...
-If Boko Haram plans to bomb ur area, no be play play
o, relocate...
-If IBB says 'Good morning fellow Nigerians', open ur
window to confirm...

Spammers everywhere... I think it's best to advice the entire NL and provide tutorials on how to avoid these spammers.... A moderator might not be the solution ...

Think about it!!
These could be true abt them..

When I was young I used to pray for a bike,
then I realized that God doesn't work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

benodic: @ dondav


that is from one of the basic teachings of ECKANKAR, RELIGION OF THE LIGHT AND SOUND OF GOD

Wow! First time I'm hearing about that!!

I guess it's either judgement or Podgatory!!

A man from ndundori
returns a book to the
library, bangs it on table &
says:
"What a waste?! I read the
whole
book, too many characters, no
story at all"
Librarian: "So, you are the one
who
took the Telephone Directory!"

I was parked in front of the
mall wiping off my
car. I had just come from the
car wash and was
waiting for my wife to get out
of work.
Coming my way from across the
parking lot was
what society would consider a
bum.
From the looks of him, he had
no car, no home,
no clean clothes, and no
money. There are times
when you feel generous but
there are other times
that you just don’t want to be
bothered. This was
one of those “don’t want to be
bothered times.”
“I hope he doesn’t ask me for
any money,” I
thought. He didn’t. He came
and sat on the curb
in front of the bus stop but he
didn’t look like he
could have enough money to
even ride the bus.
After a few minutes he spoke.
“That’s a very pretty car,” he
said.
He was ragged but he had an
air of dignity
around him. His scraggly blond
beard keep more
than his face warm.
I said, “thanks,” and
continued wiping off my car.
He sat there quietly as I
worked. The expected
plea for money never came.
As the silence between us
widened something
inside said, “ask him if he
needs any help.” I was
sure that he would say “yes”
but I held true to
the inner voice.
“Do you need any help?” I
asked.
He answered in three simple
but profound words
that I shall never forget.
We often look for wisdom in
great men and
women. We expect it from those
of higher
learning and accomplishments.
I expected nothing but an
outstretched grimy
hand. He spoke the three words
that shook me.
“Don’t we all?” he said.
I was feeling high and mighty,
successful and
important, above a bum in the
street, until those
three words hit me like a twelve
gauge shotgun.
Don’t we all?
I needed help. Maybe not for
bus fare or a place
to sleep, but I needed help. I
reached in my
wallet and gave him not only
enough for bus fare,
but enough to get a warm meal
and shelter for
the day. Those three little
words still ring true. No
matter how much you have, no
matter how much
you have accomplished, you
need help too. No
matter how little you have, no
matter how loaded
you are with problems, even
without money or a
place to sleep, you can give
help.
Even if it’s just a compliment,
you can give that.
You never know when you may
see someone that
appears to have it all.
They are waiting on you to give
them what they
don’t have. A different
perspective on life, a
glimpse at something beautiful,
a respite from
daily chaos, that only you
through a torn world
can see.
Maybe the man was just a
homeless stranger
wandering the streets. Maybe
he was more than
that.
Maybe he was sent by a power
that is great and
wise, to minister to a soul too
comfortable in
themselves. And make him
know that everyone
needs help.
Don’t we all?
Be blessed
friends...............

alaper: I thought in christianity, even the worst armed robber and murderer, or the ritualist you described, if they just confess just before they die, and become 'born again'. all is forgiven, and they end up in paradise. The whole idea looks ridiculous

Exactly!!
You can't just kill in the name of converting to a Born again later!! That's so awkward!!

Where did u get d info? This is getting interesting!!

Presents for Mother
Three sons left home, went out
on their own and prospered.
Getting back together, they
discussed the gifts they were
able to give their elderly
mother.
The first said, "I built a big
house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a
Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said,
"I've got you both beat. You
remember how mom enjoyed
reading the Bible? And you
know she can't see very well. So
I sent her a remarkable parrot
that recites the entire Bible. It
took elders in the church 12
years to teach him. He's one of
a kind. Mama just has to name
the chapter and verse, and the
parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, mom sent out
her letters of thanks:
"Milton," she wrote one son,
"The house you built is so huge.
I live in only one room, but I
have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another,
"I am too old to travel. I stay
most of the time at home, so I
rarely use the Mercedes. And
the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to
her third son, "You have the
good sense to know what your
mother likes. The chicken was
delicious."

Ozegbe: The only prove i can read here so far is the bible. Are there no other proof? am really interested in this topic

What is your point?
What proof is that?