₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Sir.lucky]@hunter2,1. You callied me a blind person? Do you know who you are talking to? I most tell you, i am fast loosing my temper.be careful. It is not every body you insult and go scort free, i hate nonsense. Thanks[/quote]Lwkmd... Take it easy sir, that's how they insult people on the internet. With time you'll learn to ignore them.

dickt: Surprising & fascinating. I'm dead curious 2 knw hw u pulled d stunt so since here may not b appropriate for describing it, could u @ least send me an email?

She's married to my brother Ikechukwu. Your plans won't work.

Allahu Akbar that they have already started building the capital city of Arewanistan for the predicted, prophesied, forecasted and confirmed 2015 breakup.

Exponental: I once had an argument with a lady who insisted dat d toilet seat shldnt be raised by men but ladies are supposed to raise them. She claimed d plastic seat is to cover d ceramic seat for them.
@op, do u agree with me dat one's background matters alot.

We've got toilet seat and also toilet cover. Both should be raised when taking a pee especially by males. The toilet seat is made usually for poo-ing (both sêx) as well as pee-ing (females) since we males normally stand when pee-ing.

Wizee: na everything dey make Fp Use ur head!!

I guess na you suppose use your head now. E don reach FRONT PAGE.

3km peak ascent is a national disgrace!

UP ENYI... UP ENYI...
Lots of love to my ever high colombia stand and York psychos. Chei, if to say I dey aba ehh, I for run around Ngwa road nâked.
Nwa Aba ka mbu... I rep Aba. Enyia awugharikwala ebea o!

zeb04: My ex use 2 urinate everywher on d toilet seat, one day I was so angry nd I askd y he said it cz he always use 2 close his eyes while urinating.stil dnt undstnd uptil nw

The feeling of relief we guys get from urinating especially those highly pressurized types is greater than ôrgasm. That explains while we close our eyes while urinating.

Henry120: The source at 3KM is only being economical with the truth. Nigeria has since passed the range of 10KM. Our target is to be able to reach 70km . On the project are many brilliant nigerian physicists, and it is important we build and develop our defences. Nobody is trying to re-invent nada, we are basically building on existing technologies. South africa is a rival on the continent, and it is imperative that we are able to build our own capacity for both civilian and military purposes.

Tell that to the ignorants who ain't in the space technology system. No be only 70km we dey aim, na to break the ionosphere fly reach sun. Nigerian politicians that love public attention/appreciation will be intentionally trying to bring themselves down by reporting 3km instead of 10km? I won't even be surprised if the true peak ascent was 800 meters.

Mine is now making me paranoid o... Happens exactly as I dreamt.
Worst be say I dey get deja vu like every month.
Science say na too much brain activity.

Did I just read 3 kilometers peak ascent by a national rocket? That's just within the troposphere and ridiculously not even half of Mt Everest.
Better late than never. A step in the right direction even though it came 50 years after independence.

Front Page Material.

Hahaha, I don spoil market for the FTC battalion... Chei, otula mgbeke tinz.

https://www.freeimagehosting.net/t/7bvu4.jpg
Picture this: He is about to erupt like a volcano. He’s been running around all day and he’s not yet had a chance to empty his swollen bladder. He finally makes it to the toilet and just barely manages to undo his jeans zip whilst stomping his feet like he’s been treading barefoot on hot coal. At this point his eyes are already firmly rolled to the back of his head as he positions himself to take aim into the toilet bowl below. He has already made up his mind to take a stand because in HIS mind he’s a sharp shooter. So he brandishes his ‘piss tool’, he aims, he shoots and to his surprise he misses… but the toilet seat gets it. This is a common phenomenon that has baffled women for centuries; not the fact that men miss but that they choose not to lift the toilet seat up. Now, I’m going to attempt approaching this sensitive topic as objectively as possible. There are 4 types of men that use the toilet:
a) The Lazy man:
https://www.freeimagehosting.net/t/1svcc.jpg
This breed of man makes up close to 80 percent of the world’s population. They consist of those who are ready to take a piss just about anywhere in public. They urinate directly on the DO NOT URINATE HERE signs, at least in Nigeria. The toilet seat, in their eyes, is a 50 pound weight that requires brute strength in lifting. These amateur artists will turn any white canvas into a bed of yellow poker dots. And if you expect them to clean up after themselves then please revert to the type of man (in bold) being analyzed in point ‘a’.
b) The Proud man:
https://www.freeimagehosting.net/t/e9sti.jpg
This type of man may not necessarily have anything to be proud of but certainly feels too big to bend over and touch a toilet seat, let alone lift it. He has more ‘important things’ to worry about. He thinks it’s someone else’s job to clean his mess up (it’s beneath him). He is often ready to criticize those that violate toilet seats and this makes him a Pharisee. He is usually the last person you would ever suspect of committing such atrocities. As far as he is concerned even his s*** doesn’t stink, but that’s another story so let’s stick with the subject.
c) The Inconsiderate man:
https://www.freeimagehosting.net/t/4pf9l.jpg
Commonly associated with men who are in relationships and are yet to be married. They seem to forget quite easily that there is another person living with them or who comes to visit them frequently. These men tend to be stuck in their ways and believe their partners should quit complaining and just adapt. If ‘she’ says to him ‘Lift before you pee’ then ‘his’ response would probably be ‘Wipe before you sit’. Men in this situation would agree that the toilet seat becomes one of the trivial issues that could ignite an argument, especially if some making up was in order the previous night.
d) The Gentleman:
https://www.freeimagehosting.net/t/l5wwu.jpg
All the ladies love this type of man. No matter how pressed he is he always manages to lift the toilet seat up and even remembers to put it back down for his lady. Some guys would say he’s soft, others say he’s a pushover. But women say he is a considerate, humble and diligent man. He is the pee-ing man’s role model. He aims and hits his target. He only makes up less than 20 percent of the world’s population and most of his type were raised by decent parents, have great toilet etiquette, and write crazy blogs and wear bow ties… just like me, the OP.
http://www.thecrazynigerian.com/2012/02/25/the-truth-about-men-and-toilet-seats/

tony5002x: What about we in bayelsa which upland are we going to run to if it reaches us because bayelsa is same level with water

Then the local, state and federal government should jointly construct river embankments and/or earthbanks, which will help to control flooding when the water level rises. It's a common sight in planned riverine settlements of advanced nations.

*Evacuation! Evacuation!! Evacuation!!!
Evacuate all who live along river banks and catchments. Relocate to safer uplands.
*Demolition! Demolition!! Demolition!!!
Demolish all illegal structures along flood plains thereby making way for easier passage of runoff along natural courses.
*Rehabilitation! Rehabilitation!! Rehabilitation!!!
Rehabilitate all affected persons. Empower them with enough material and financial donations not giving them two hundred and sixty-five naira as reported over last year's disaster.
*Monitor! Monitor!! Monitor!!!
Monitor and implement all regulations and warnings as issued by NIMET, NEMA and other environmental consulting agencies to avoid a repetition of these unfortunate and avoidable environmental disasters.