₦airaland Forum

Molue no dey 4 ogun state! Now, not 2 talk of danfo

U wan take generator do pendant?

Abi u wan take toothpick pound fufu?

Abi u wan kiri recharge card inside aeroplane?

All funny when said in yoruba

Newspaper cartoon!

*yawn* y u dey merix ol joke na?

E try sha!

simple

*yawns*

wap.www.atutupoyoyo.com.mobi - wapwebsite of the future!

Hehehe! I laugh, so dat i will not cry!

Mr spambot can only undastand english, abi no bi so?
Change am 2 pidgen english! & see mr spambot suddenly lose his job!

whats the difference between a blonde and a brick?

Answer= when you lay a brick, it doesnt follow you around!

dats all folks!

whats the difference between a blonde and a brick?

Answer= when you lay a brick, it doesnt follow you around!

dats all folks!

She says I think-- and is immediately sucked into the mirror.

Beware the Mirror

Three young women were in a shopping mall. There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette. They all had to go to the bathroom so they found one and went in.
As they were going in together they encountered a shriveled old woman who was hobbling out. Beware the mirror! she rasped. If you look inside and say something truthful you will receive your hearts fondest desire. However! if you tell a lie, YOU WILL BE SUCKED INSIDE AND ENTER OBLIVION! Cackling the old woman hobbled on past. The three women looked at each other and shrugged.
Once inside the brunette ran to the mirror looked straight inside and said I think that I am the most beautiful woman in this bathroom! Immediately a huge bag of money pops out and the ecstatic brunette seizes it and walks out. This inspires the redhead to up to the mirror and says I think that I am the most intelligent woman in this bathroom! Immediately a Mercedes-Benz pops out and she hops in and drives away. The blonde then runs up to the mirror excitedly.

Anoda 1

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
Why? asks the father.
The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'
But that's right!
Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'
What's the fucking difference?
That's exactly what I said!

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
Why? asks the father.
The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'
But that's right!
Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'
What's the fucking difference?
That's exactly what I said!

Gift na gift! U wan de select? u get mind ooo!

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.
SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.
MILKING THE SNAKE:
1. Place 4 fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive and start spitting.
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.
CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
LOCATION: Throughout the world
DESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fangless, with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and subspecies.
SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks, mainly women, in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then, a severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. However, it has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, which may result in an incurable disease and possible death.
HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED:
TORNIQUET: Do not apply a torniquet, as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1, 1999, your penis will be taxed according to size.
The brackets are as follows:
10-12" Luxury Tax $30.00
8-10" Pole Tax $25.00
5-8" Privilege Tax $15.00
4-5" Nuisance Tax $3.00
Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!!!
IRS NOTE: We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:
Are there penalties for early withdrawals?
What if one's penis is self employed?
Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes?
Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?

The daughter looks up from her teary eyes and says, "Yes, how did you know?"
The mother comforts her child and explains about the incident at the bank.
A month later the boy comes up and says, "Mommy, I've done a very bad thing!"
"You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?"
"No, I was masturbating and I shot the dog."

A pregnant woman walks into a bank, and lines up at the first available teller. Just at that moment the bank gets robbed and she is shot three times in the stomach. She was rushed to the hospital where she was fixed up. As she leaves she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor says, "Oh! You're going to have triplets. They're fine but each one has a bullet lodged in its stomach. Don't worry though the bullets will pass through their system through normal metabolism."
As time goes on the woman has three children, two girls and a boy. Twelve years later, one of the girls comes up to her mother and says "Mommy, I've done a very weird thing!"

Her mother asks her what happened and her daughter replies, "I passed a bullet into the toilet." The woman comforts her and explains all about the accident at the bank.
A few weeks later, her other daughter comes up to her with tears streaming from her eyes. "Mommy, I've done a very bad thing!" The mother says, "Let me guess. You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?"

Gramps

Guy! Dat battery must have short circuited! Or the cover of the battery has peeled and it is touching a metal part of the fone!

Try using cellotape to insulate the battery again completely, leave only the terminals open!

9ja will win! But whats d point? They aint going nowhere

Zain dwlding easy na!

How dis concern fone? Dem go start 2 yab u now!

Oh boi

Posted on: Today at 01:21:28 AM
Posted by: Rooneyboy

Insert Quote

Quote from: whiteroses on Yesterday at 07:27:54 PM

you are not funny lol and for your informaki one of us women is gonna be the next president after yaradua okay?

i never knew we had a female comedian in the house. I swear u r very funny.

Sme pple dey force dier self 2 laugh!

Why do smepeople like daydreaming?
Ww3 can neva happen because even yankee neva 4get d after effect of the war

Like that & like that

While una dey argue! Me & dat guy dey download & upload exotic babes, download money 4rm Cbn vault, even heal people by uploading sickness from their body

While una dey argue! Me & dat guy dey download & upload exotic babes, download money 4rm Cbn vault, even heal people by uploading sickness from their body