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Stats: 2,442,470 members, 5,498,330 topics. Date: Sunday, 29 March 2020 at 01:27 PM
|Events / Re: Nigerian Big Boys Litter Swimming Pool With Money During Party (Party) by donjon: 6:40pm On Aug 08, 2015|
|Agriculture / Re: A Nairalander Managing His Little Fish Pond- Self-employed by donjon: 6:31pm On Aug 08, 2015|
very intelligent to lump evry1 in d ND 2geda, insulting u is a waste of time!
|Family / Re: How Do You Give Your Wife Pocket Money by donjon: 5:33pm On Aug 08, 2015|
monthly, trust me a female can plan and make 10,000 look like 100,000.
d good 1s tho
|Family / Re: Lovely Photos Of Storborn Babies, Lol by donjon: 5:30pm On Aug 08, 2015|
eyaf tey wey I laf like dis
|Family / Re: Swear If You Never Did This: Why Then Beating Ur Kid For It? by donjon: 5:21pm On Aug 08, 2015|
una no do 1st to blink?
when u stand facing each oda staring intently, till sme1 gives up and blinks
|Jokes Etc / Re: How To Simuate Being In The Navy! by donjon: 11:10am On Dec 11, 2013|
|Music/Radio / Re: What Do You Think About Erigga D Enigma? by donjon: 4:35am On Nov 13, 2013|
chei, bad belle full here.
no b by force to like paper boy,
go listen to d@ Ur guy wey dey rap like 50
I prefer my local content
|Crime / Re: Pregnant Woman Stabbed Several Times By Intruder While Facetiming With Husband by donjon: 8:43pm On Nov 07, 2013|
My pips can't read !
|Phones / Re: To Nigerians: Shouldn't We Pause And Consider Operation Switch Off Again. by donjon: 11:21pm On Oct 16, 2013|
create a fb page for it, then u start 4rm there.
|Politics / Re: R.I.P! Businessman Killed For Refusing To Settle Area Boys by donjon: 11:16pm On Oct 16, 2013|
Ajegunle is even better, ijora is like sodom & gomora
|Crime / Re: Nigerian Wife Fakes Kidnapping To Dupe Ransom From Husband by donjon: 11:06pm On Oct 16, 2013|
d tin sef don turn to joke!
|Crime / Nigerian Wife Fakes Kidnapping To Dupe Ransom From Husband by donjon: 11:00pm On Oct 16, 2013|
ONITSHA, Nigeria (Reuters) - A Nigerian woman faked her own kidnapping to extort a $1,200 ransom from her husband, police said on Tuesday, in a region of the west African nation plagued by abductions.Authorities arrested the woman and her accomplice, a motorcycle taxi man who helped her stage it, after tracing the bank account given for her husband's payment of 200,000 naira ($1,200) to the taxi man himself."They have confessed to the crime and we are corroborating our investigation to be able to charge them in court," said Ebere Amarizu, a police spokesman in Enugu state.Kidnapping for ransom is rife in southern Nigeria, particularly in the oil-producing Delta region, in the ethnic Igbo area to the north of it, where Enugulies, and the commercial hub of Lagos.In some cases, police suspect the victimscollude with their abductors.The multi-million dollar criminal enterprise pushes up the insurance and security costs for businesses, including foreign oil majors who have often been targeted in the past. ($1 = 160.1 naira)(Reporting by Anamesere Igboeroteonwu; Writing by Tim Cocks, Editing by Gareth Jones)
|Nairaland / General / Re: Zodiac Traits do they really reflect in your character by donjon: 5:10pm On Oct 15, 2013|
Booty butt chic: dis is soooo 100% meee dis is soooo 100% meee
|Politics / Re: Guinea Bissau Apologises To Nigeria Over Attack On Embassy by donjon: 12:19pm On Oct 10, 2013|
Davo93: They should keep their apology to themselves... those Guineans were so silly and just because of their hightened beef for Nigerians, they acted that way. Like a Nairalander said, their president should come down to Nigeria and beg on his knees. #Mstchew
aye aye to dat
|Politics / Re: Lagos Arrest Agberos On Highways by donjon: 6:19pm On Jun 10, 2013|
Dem wan stop staff be dat! We will clear fashola doubt!
|Car Talk / Re: Nigerian Man Builds Working Helicopters From Junk by donjon: 7:39pm On Sep 03, 2012|
Bros we dey wait o
|Phones / Re: Whatsapp :help With Whatsapp Please!! by donjon: 7:34pm On Sep 03, 2012|
Limited fones for now.
|Food / Re: The Price Of Garri by donjon: 8:44pm On Aug 31, 2012|
Dis Garri Wars sef!
|Science/Technology / Re: Japan Toilet-maker Unveils 'Poop-powered' Motorbike by donjon: 8:49pm On Aug 29, 2012|
My pple cannot read!
|Nairaland / General / Re: How Has Nairaland Affected The Price Of Garri In The Market? by donjon: 1:11pm On Aug 28, 2012|
Suddenly we have become garri addicts!!!
|Crime / Re: A Widow, 55, Found Hanged On Tree In Ibadan (pic) by donjon: 1:04pm On Aug 28, 2012|
Dis is rubbish!!! No matter how bad it is, u must never attempt suicide
|Politics / Re: Trinidad And Tobago Deports 28 Ex-Niger Delta Militants by donjon: 7:10pm On Aug 03, 2012|
Sun of god: Let the deported return to Nigeria and take up their old professions . . . (Militancy)
u are a fool! Useless civilian
|Religion / Re: How To Worship The Nigerian God by donjon: 9:47am On Jul 27, 2012|
Very brilliant article 4rm daily times
|Religion / How To Worship The Nigerian God by donjon: 9:42am On Jul 27, 2012|
The Nigerian god is one. It may have many different manifestations, but it is essentially different sides of the same coin. Sometimes, adherents of the different sides may fight and kill each other. But Nigerians essentially follow the Nigerian god.
This article is for all those who want to become better worshippers. If you are a new or prospective convert, God will bless you for choosing the Nigerian god. This is just how you must worship him.
First, you must understand that being a worshipper has nothing to do with character,good works or righteousness. So the fact thatyou choose to open every meeting with multiple prayers does not mean that you intend to do what is right. The opening prayer is important. Nothing can work without it. If you are gathered to discuss howto inflate contracts, begin with an opening prayer or two. If you are gathered to discuss how to rig elections, begin with a prayer. TheNigerian god appreciates communication.
When you sneak away from your wife to call your girlfriend in the bathroom, and she asks if you will come this weekend, you must say—in addition to “Yes”—“By God’s grace” or “God willing”. It doesn’t matter the language you use. Just add it. The Nigerian god likes to be consulted before you do anything, including a trip to Obudu to see your lover.
When worshipping the Nigerian god, be loud.No, the Nigerian god is not hard of hearing. Itis just that he appreciates your loud fervour, like he appreciates loud raucous music. The Nigerian god doesn’t care if you have neighbours and neither should you. When you are worshipping in your house, make sure the neighbours can’t sleep. Use loud speakers even if you are only two in the building. Anyone who complains must be evil.God will judge such a person.
Attribute everything to the Nigerian god. So, ifyou diverted funds from public projects and are able to afford that Phantom, when peoplesay you have a nice car, say, “Na God”. If someone asks what the secret of all your wealth is, say, “God has been good to me”. Bythis you mean the Nigerian god who gave you the uncommon wisdom to re-appropriate public funds.
Consult the Nigerian god when you don’t feel like working. The Nigerian god understands that we live in a harsh climate where it is hard to do any real work. So, if you have no clue how to be in charge and things start collapsing, ask people to pray to God and ask for his intervention.
The Nigerian god loves elections and politics. When you have bribed people to get the Partynomination, used thugs to steal and stuff ballot boxes, intimidated people into either sitting at home or voting for you, lied about everything from your assets to your age, and you eventually, (through God’s grace), win theelections, you must begin by declaring that your success is the wish of God and that the other candidate should accept this will of God. It is not your fault whom the Nigerian god chooses to reward with political success.How can mere mortals complain?
The Nigerian god does not tolerate disrespect. If someone insults your religion, you must look for anyone like them and kill them. Doesn’t matter what you use—sticks, machetes, grenade launchers, IED’s, AK47’s.
The Nigerian god performs signs and wonders. He does everything from cure HIV to High BP. And the Nigerian god is creative: he can teach a person who was born blind the difference between blue and green whenthe man of god asks, and he can teach a person born deaf instant English. As a worshipper you must let him deliver you because every case of sickness is caused by evil demons and not infections. Every case of barrenness is caused by witches and has no scientific explanation. So instead of hospital, visit agents of the Nigerian god. But the Nigerian god does not cure corruption. Do not attempt to mock him.
If you worship the Nigerian god, you are under no obligation to be nice or kind to people who are not worshippers. They deserve no courtesy.
The Nigerian god is also online. As a worshipper, you are not obliged to be good or decent on Facebook or twitter all week except on Friday and Sunday, both of which the Nigerian god marks as holy. So you may forward obscene photos, insult people, forward lewd jokes on all days except the holy days. On those holy days, whichever applies to you, put up statuses saying how much you are crazy about God.
These days, the Nigerian god also permits tweets and Facebook updates like: "Now in Church" or "This guy in front of me needs to stop dozing" when performing acts of worship.
In all, the Nigerian god is very kind and accommodating. He gives glory and riches and private jets. And if you worship him well, he will immensely bless your hustle.
|Politics / Champion Newspapers Website Hacked by donjon: 9:36am On Jul 10, 2012|
d hacker calls himself artin, check http://champion.com.ng
|Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Crazy Things Done During Job Hunting by donjon: 10:07pm On Jul 06, 2012|
We wey we get job, make we thank GOD be dat o!!! I left sec school nd joined d navy
|Dating And Meet-up Zone / Re: Romantic Beer Parlour. Anything Fit Happen Here (PIDGIN ENGLISH ONLY) by donjon: 8:31pm On Jun 30, 2012|
OPEYEMI AD: nothing dey here o, we just dey compose love leter and poem..otondo!
OPEYEMI AD: nothing dey here o, we just dey compose love leter and poem..otondo!
|Car Talk / Re: The Low-tech $6,000 Car Made For Africa by donjon: 2:48pm On Jun 30, 2012|
Dis vehicle would currently be good for lagos - badagry express road! Dis yrs rain has completely destroyed dat road, going home is a nightmare
|Politics / Re: Gunfire, Blasts Hit Maiduguri: Boko-Haram VS JTF, 16 killed by donjon: 1:04pm On Jun 06, 2012|
mai gaskiya: my broda dnt sit at d comfort of ur home nd type rubish.as far as maidugury is concern dia is no inocent becos dy aid nd abet dm.if u hav ben 2 dat state b4 u wil knw nd se hw ds pepl re sheldng bh.its only kano state dat re coperatng wit jtf.so dnt be pesimistic on views u knw ntng abot becos u kan aford a pone.mister humanistGBAGAUN!!!!!!!!!
|Crime / Re: 9ja Woman Bola Adebisi Sets World Record In Heroine Swallow Caught At Washington by donjon: 7:26am On May 30, 2012|
Dat woman is a rugged hustler
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