₦airaland Forum

clemcykul, pls doe sthe nairaland chat room work and if it does, how can i get there

jaymobb:
oracle u don go smoke again abi

Y u dey boil adi u don remember the last time when u go drink free small stout and squadron?

gilgee:
@oracle
Old boy that style no dey work again oo. Tessy na Ituen one and only, so make you try another pattern on another kuvukian angel.
See this guy wan use pattern enter my sister in-law. KAI!

So any attempt to suppose wetin u nor like mean say i dey eye iteun woman?
Iteun and tessybabe, please o, my hands and heart are clean o. Gilgee do not cause problem where problem no dey o! 

Ify, u just made my day doubled with joy after chelsea did me proud last 9th. Anybody when no enjoy ur gist, na toothpick dem go take stab him head.

Tufe, wetin dey make u just dey form hard guy?

kalmebad:
Jealousy strives where there is love, but how u are able to handle it, it's what count most
It can strenghten or mar the relationship

How are u supposed to handle a jealous lover

I am not trying to rub guys with rubbish but in every smoke, check u go see small fire. Men will always be men and tessybabe could be right because check out a guy when e don lick bottle well well. The guy go just dey mentus. Even if he sleep for a smelly king sized gutter he will not care.
I know say i don provoke some guys o but make we talk true even if e dey pain.

Neoteny:
er, don't you owe me an apology too? for threating to use your powers of warping space-time continuum, bending gravity, twisting the law of physics and metaphysics and turning reality on its head to jump into your computer monitor matrix-like and appear in mine just to give me a slap?

hmmmmmmmmmm

Tessybaby, Did i see a question that looks like this "Whats the difference b/tween a man and a UFO?" and u said u dont know because u have not seen any?

TESSYBABY, U HARSH O!!!

Love conquers all things, but over time in our relationships and even those we have seen, jealousy has played a major role in building or destroying such relationships. What is your opinion of jealousy in relationships.

almondjoy:
I am happy someone already answered you. . .yes I do have a life and watching movies happens to be a very major part of it. Thank you!

Accept my apologies. I think it was harsh of me to criticise u like that. I didnt mean to question the way u live your life.

Neoteny e bi like say ur head don dey shake. Y u dey play fuji afron for my jazz? If u mention one word wen take style resemble insult or question, i go personally enter this screen give u slap like the one wen mr. bones give prince for mr. bones.
Na only oyibo films una dey mention?
what about Ukwa?

Lolabbey:
hmm clem,u wicked oo,

upon d nice joke na kunu u dash am,

anyway let me compensate u wth a bottle of ZOBO

No wahazi! whether na kunu or zobo, i know say somebody go offer me one bottle of small stout one day because anything is possible in Nigeria and inside this forum.
Have a great day all nairalanders. laugh as much as u can when u find the opportunity before u reach menopause (ladies) and womenopause (men)

Is it true daddy shokey vomitted on stage?

From the direction i am looking at this issue, sex is number 1, number 2, number 3 and number no contest of the male folk. Whoa
Wetin make that thing dey sweet sef?

Neoteny:
what are you, autistic? she gave the link at the top. its from a database.

Did u read the title of the thread? maybe then u would understand what i was trying to point out? Nobody asked u to list all the greatest movies of all times. U were asked to name the ones u have seen. What are u, a body guard?

If someone discovers he is an homosexual and wants to change, he can with God helping him, so goes with the lady but if he or she decides to continue living that way, u can not sympatise with the word of God. Man was not created for that purpose. For everything God says, there is a purpose and reason. God designed man to function with a female and not otherwise. If u buy a car and it starts function like a cargo boat, does that make it a car. Its a malfunction. Homosexuality and lesbianism is a spiritual problem. Get rid of it or leave God's presence. He said He does not like it so u can not change it. God will temain God wether u like it or not. Do not use ur standards to think that is the way He works. Man has corrupted the things of God just to suit their lustful desires.
Be warned. If u are a lesbian or homosexual, seek spiritual help.

If you are asked to say in one sentence why you love God, what will it be?

How would u begin to explain to your lover that while u were at the company's end of first quarter party last month, u kissed your boss while no one was watching?

There were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner
of a old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that
John's wife died the same day Joe's boat sank. A few
days later a kindly old woman saw Joe, and mistaking
him for John. Said "I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
You must feel terrible"

Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said
"Fact is, I'm sort of glad to get rid of her. She was
a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was
all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead
fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad
crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front,
too. Every time I used her the hole got bigger and she
leaked like crazy. I guess what finished her off was
when I rented her to those four guys looking for a
good time for the weekend. I warned them that she
wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow
and were willing to pay. The fools all tried to get in
her at the same time and split her right down the
middle."

The old woman fainted.

almondjoy:
Greatest Comedies of all times!

http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_comedy.html


1. Duck Soup - (1933) (Marx Brothers)
2. Some Like It Hot - (1959) (Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis, Marilyn Monroe)
3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - (1975) (Terry Gilliam, John Cleese, Eric Idle, etc.)
4. Airplane! - (1980) (Robert Hayes, Julie Hagerty)
5. "Dr. Strangelove" - (1964) (Peter Sellers, George C. Scott)
6. Blazing Saddles - (1974) (Mel Brooks, Gene Wilder)
7. What's Up, Doc? - (1972) (Barbra Striesand, Ryan O'Neil)
8. National Lampoon's Animal House - (1978) (John Belushi, Tim Matheson)
9. A Night At The Opera - (1935) (Marx Brothers)
10. The Odd Couple - (1968) (Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau)
11. Annie Hall - (1977) (Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, Tony Roberts)
12. The Producers - (1968) (Zero Mostel, Gene Wilder, Dick Shawn)
13. The Gold Rush - (1925) (Charles Chaplin, Mack Swain, Tom Murray)
14. Tootsie - (1982) (Dustin Hoffman, Jessica lange, Bill Murray)
15. Young Frankenstein - (1974) (Gene Wilder, Marty Feldman, Peter Boyle)
16. Bringing Up Baby - (1938) (Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn)
17. Arthur - (1981) (Dudley Moore, Liza Minnelli)
18. Bananas - (1971) (Woody Allen, Carlos Montalban)
19. Take The Money And Run - (1969) (Woody Allen, Janet Margolin)
20. Modern Times - (1933) (Charles Chaplin, Paulette Goddard, Henry Bergman)
21. A Shot In The Dark - (1964) (Peter Sellers, Elke Sommer)
22. No Time For Sergeants - (1958) (Andy Griffith, Mervyn LeRoy)
23. Adam's Rib - (1949) (Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn)
24. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - (1963) (Milton Berle, Jonathan Winters)
25. M*A*S*H - (1970) (Elliott Gould, Donald Sutherland, Sally Kellerman)
26. Lost In America - (1985) (Albert Brooks, Julie Hagerty, Sylvia Farrel)
27. National Lampoon's Vacation - (1983) (Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo)
28. The Pink Panther - (1964) (Peter Sellers, David Niven, Robert Wagner)
29. A Day At The Races - (1937) (Marx Brothers)
30. Caddyshack - (1980) (Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight)
31. The Court Jester - (1956) (Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone, Angela Lansbury)
32. Sullivan's Travels - (1941) (Joel McCrea, Veronica Lake)
33. Road To Morocco - (1942) (Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Dorothy Lamour)
34. This Is Spinal Tap - (1984) (Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer)
35. Ghost Busters - (1984) (Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver)
36. Groundhog Day - (1993) (Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott)
37. The Birdcage - (1996) (Robin Williams, Nathan Lane)
38. Borat - (2006) (Sacha Baron Cohen, Ken Davitian)
39. Ferris Bueller's Day Off - (1986) (Matthew Broderick, Alan Ruck, Mia Sara)
40. His Girl Friday - (1940) (Cary Grant, Rosalind Russell)
41. The Naked Gun - (1988) (Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley)
42. Sleeper - (1973) (Woody Allen, Diane Keaton)
43. Spaceballs - (1987) (Rick Moranis, Bill Pullman, John Candy)
44. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery - (1997) (Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley)
45. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective - (1994) (Jim Carrey, Sean Young)
46. Born Yesterday - (1950) (Judy Holliday, Broderick Crawford, William Holden)
47. History of the World: Part 1 - (1981) (Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn, Gregory Hines)
48. The Great Dictator - (1940) (Charles Chaplin, Paulette Goddard, Jack Oakie)
49. The Front Page - (1974) (Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau)
50. Top Secret - (1984) (Val Kilmer, Lucy Gutteridge, Omar Sharif)
51. Home Alone - (1990) (Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern)
52. Meet the Parents - (2000) (Robert De Niro, Ben Stiller)
53. To Be or Not to Be - (1942) (Carole Lombard, Jack Benny, Robert Stack)
54. The Inspector General - (1949) (Danny Kaye, Alan Hale, Walter Slezak)
55. The Jerk - (1979) (Steve Martin, Bernadette Peters)
56. The Big Lebowski - (1998) (Jeff Bridges, John Goodman)
57. Fast Times At Ridgemont High - (1982) (Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh)
58. The Mouse That Roared - (1959) (Peter Sellers, Jean Seberg)
59. There's Something About Mary - (1998) (Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon)
60. City Slickers - (1991) (Billy Crystal, Daniel Stern)
61. The Nutty Professor - (1963) (Jerry Lewis, Stella Stevens)
62. My Cousin Vinny - (1992) (Joe Pesci, Marisa Tomei, Fred Gwynne)
63. Little Miss Sunshine - (2006) (Greg Kinnear, Alan Arkin, Steve Carell)
64. Silver Streak - (1976) (Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor, Jill Clayburgh)
65. Mrs. Doubtfire - (1993) (Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan)
66. Scary Movie - (2000) (Keenen Ivory Wayans, Anna Faris, Shawn Wayans)
67. Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure -(1989) (Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter)
68. Stir Crazy - (1981) (Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder)
69. Arsenic and Old Lace - (1944) (Cary Grant, Josephine Hull, Peter Lorre)
70. Beverly Hills Cop - (1984) (Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold)
71. Private Benjamin - (1980) (Goldie Hawn, Eileen Brennan)
72. Harvey - (1950) (James Stewart, Josephine Hull)
73. Way Out West - (1937) (Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy)
74. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - (1989) (Chevy Chase, Randy Quaid)
75. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, - (1972) (Woody Allen)
76. Monty Python's Life Of Brian - (1979) (John Cleese, Eric Idle)
77. Meatballs - (1979) (Bill Murray, Harvey Atkin, Kate Lynch)
78. Good Neighbor Sam - (1964) (Jack Lemmon, Romy Schneider, Dorothy Provine)
79. Cat Ballou - (1965) (Jane Fonda, Lee Marvin, Dwayne Hickman)
80. Rush Hour - (1998) (Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker)
81. Up In Smoke - (1978) (Cheech & Chong)
82. A Fish Called Wanda - (1988) (John Cleese, Kevin Kline, Jamie Lee Curtis)
83. The 40 Year Old Virgin - (2005) (Steve Carell, Catherine Keener)
84. The Bank Dick - (1940) (W.C. Fields, Shemp Howard)
85. Ruthless People - (1986) (Bette Midler, Danny DeVito)
86. The Money Pit - (1986) (Tom Hanks, Shelley Long)
87. Babes in Toyland - (1934) (Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy)
88. Tommy Boy - (1995) (Chris Farley, David Spade)
89. Dumb and Dumber - (1994) (Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels)
90. Multiplicity - (1996) (Michael Keaton, Andie MacDowell, Eugene Levy)
91. Monty Python's Meaning Of Life - (1983) (John Cleese, Eric Idle)
92. The Egg and I - (1947) (Claudette Colbert, Fred MacMurray, Percy Kilbride)
93. Hot Shots - (1991) (Charlie Sheen, Cary Elwes, Lloyd Bridges)
94. The Family Jewels - (1965) (Jerry Lewis, Sebastian Cabot)
95. Robin Hood: Men In Tights - (1993) (Cary Elwes, Dave Chapelle, Richard Lewis)
96. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels - (1988) (Steve Martin, Michael Caine)
97. Wayne's World - (1992) (Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Lowe)
98. Three Amigos! - (1986) (Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, Martin Short)
99. Sister Act - (1992) (Whoopi Goldberg, Kathy Najimy)
100. Operation Petticoat - (1959) (Cary Grant, Tony Curtis, Gavin MacLeod)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
101. Broadcast News - (1987) (William Hurt, Albert Brooks, Holly Hunter)
102. Easy Money - (1983) (Rodney Dangerfield, Joe Pesci)
103. The Fortune Cookie - (1966) (Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau)
104. The Ghost and Mr. Chicken - (1966) (Don Knotts, Dick Sargent)
105. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me - (1999) (Mike Myers, Michael York)
106. It's A Gift - (1934) (W.C. Fields, Kathleen Howard, Baby LeRoy)
107. American Pie - (1999) (Jason Biggs, Eugene Levy)
108. Foul Play - (1978) (Chevy Chase, Goldie Hawn)
109. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy - (2004) (Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate)
110. Beverly Hillbillies - (1993) (Jim Varney, Cloris Leachman, Lily Tomlin)
111. Hot Shots! Part Deux - (1993) (Charlie Sheen, Lloyd Bridges)
112. Wedding Crashers - (2005) (Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Christopher Walken)
113. Friday - (1995, F. Gary Gray) (Ice Cube, Chris Tucker)
114. My Little Chickadee - (1940) (W.C. Fields, Mae West)
115. Down And Out in Beverly Hills - (1986) (Bette Midler, Nick Nolte, Richard Dreyfuss)
116. Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein - (1948) (Abbott & Costello, Lon Chaney Jr.)
117. Bean - (1997) (Rowan Atkinson, Pamela Reed, Burt Reynolds)
118. Kung Fu Hustle - (2004, Stephen Chow) (Stephen Chow, Xiaogang Feng)
119. The Russians Are Coming the Russians Are Coming - (1966) (Carl Reiner, Jonathan Winters)
120. The Toy - (1982) (Richard Pryor, Jackie Gleeson)
121. Mostro, Il (aka The Monster) - (1994) (Roberto Benigni, Michel Blanc, Nicoletta Braschi)
122. Happy Gilmore - (1996) (Adam Sandler, Dennis Dugan)
123. George Washington Slept Here - (1942) (Jack Benny, Ann Sheridan, Hattie McDaniel)
124. Parenthood - (1989) (Steve Martin, Dianne Wiest, Mary Steenburgen)
125. Rat Race - (2001) (John Cleese, Whoopi Goldberg, Cuba Gooding Jr.)
126. Big Trouble - (2002) (Tim Allen, Rene Russo, Jack Kehler)
127. A Night at the Roxbury - (1998) (Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan)
128. Oscar - (1991) (Sylvester Stallone, Marisa Tomei, Tim Curry)
129. Ma and Pa Kettle - (1949) (Marjorie Main, Percy Kilbride)
130. Amazon Women on the Moon - (1987) (Arsenio Hall, Steve Guttenberg

Do u do any other thing apart from watching movies? You even have the names of the main actors and the year the movies were made in ur head. Whoa

top_kin:
Finger prints ke? That shuld b in the year 2060!!!

I was actually thinking of 2100. This was also the comment the police commissioner in Rivers State also made when Ateke Tom's house was bombed. Finger print checking: Na wah for Nigeria police.

prosper234:
i wish you all timewasters had a poultry farm you would have know better ways to use your time talking to birds

My friend, 4 once in ur life just take life easy because by frowning at everything in life will not help ur condition of frustration.

Lets help this guy and him babe, sorry and the pickin too. We can contribute some amount of cash for them to help in this time of their need. If u are willing to help, i will send my account number for a foundation called 9JALANDERS' FOUNDATION OF HOPE (9FH).

Mr. Spencer (If only u were born in those good old days)
Mr. Bean
Mr. Bones
and lots more, Let me go and check my archive

Ok, just start laughing.

I think i have read this story once on a particular website i visited once? I am right? If i am right, u can keep it a secret too.

A commissioner died in an hotel room in Benin city in Edo state and the police said they were going to use police pathologist and finger print experts to get to the root of the matter.
Is this possible in Nigeria? Where do they keep finger prints with which to correlate any they find in the room where the man died?

Our society is filled with taboos of various types. What would your lover do that you would consider a taboo?

If u are faced with the option of adopting either aki or Pawpaw, whom would u choose. If u refuse, u will be sent to prison. What will be ur option?

We keep trying to please the female folk in our relationship. Well, its time we find out what do men really want.

prinadeolu:
I had just mistakely pregnant a girl.

You should mistakingly allow the girl to deliver the child, mistakingly go and see her parents for the bride price and mistakingly take responsibility as a father. If u need financial assistance, u sure will get it because u have mistakingly told nairalanders about your problem.

onyeka_ng:
geezzzzzz! your gramma na wah!

I support u onyeka_ng. Only d grammer sef go make the girl bone d guy and his calls.