cbase:

and as nice as ur new Bra, _{d one i just bought you}

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

Thanks.
This confirms you're not blonde

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida??"

Sam Milla was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Ade Miiler had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day Sam came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was about 5:30 that afternoon when dani1luv, their 11 year old son, returned home from school.

Dani was over 2 hours late.

"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked Sam.
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,"said Dani.

The robot then walked around the table and slapped Dani, knocking him completely out of his chair.

"Son," said Sam, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."

"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Dani.

"What did you watch?" asked Ademiller.

"The Ten Commandments." answered Dani.

The robot went around to Dani and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.

With his lip quivering, Dani got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."

"I am ashamed of you son," said Sam. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."

The robot then walked around to Sam and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Ademiller doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Dani. After all, he

is your son!"


With that the robot immediately walked around to Ademiller and knocked her

out of her chair.

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is cheating on her.So she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she arrives home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
Her husband jumps out of bed and starts begging and pleading with her not to kill herself.Hysterically,the blonde responds "Shut up,you're next".

How come you're not dead yet??

lysaa:

If I were a boy, i'd help my wife with laundry and dishes.

Duh,boys don't have wives.

While making out, an embarrassed couple recently landed themselves in trouble when they accidentally dialled 999 in a moment of passion. Police received the emergency call from a mobile phone at 2am and could hear the muffled sounds of what sounded like a distressed woman. When the woman didn't answer, police traced the call to a house in Jokes section, Nairaland, and officers rushed to the address. According to the Police the couple, who answered the knock on their door at just after 2am, were rather surprised and got a little flustered to find uniformed police on the doorstep. Their dishevelled appearance was soon explained, it seems the physical activity taking place had been of the amorous rather than violent kind. In the throes of passion they had managed to roll on top of the telephone, which was resting on the floor, and accidentally depressed the number nine button.

The Nairaland Police Force have deliberately kept the identity of the couple a secret.But if you think you knw who they are,feel free to share your thoughts.

Gunned down

@ niyi.
No mind the guy jare.I no too blame am sha.No be him wish,na hitv turn am to liar.

Boring and efficient,I can understand.Boring and sloppy?Hell no

@ dclique
hi rubbish.Seconded and thirded.

@ poster,you too much jare.See as you just grab everybody attention.I hail u

Angel gabry ko,antichrist gabry ni.

@ puremind
Which levels nah?Who vex u today?

Dclique & ahwuyen
I'm sorry if i blew my top but read thru the previous posts and you'll see what the matter is.Since when did making 'REAL' complaints become self-pity?
And if I don't have the time to spend a whole day at hitv's office,have I become some form of criminal?The Gtb option came up for this exact reason(to save customers from the stress and hassles of sleeping at hitv office).So,if they default on that,does my expressing my grievance translate to selfpity?I maintain that he should have a firmer grasp of the English language.

N.B
I paid someone to take my decoder and smartcard to hitv office today and my subscription was finally 'ACTIVATED'.There was no problem with my system.Someone at hitv just neglected to do his job.

If the things I've said on this thread seem like selfpity to you,then your grasp of the English language must be deplorable to say the least.don't let your blind devotion blind your cognitive senses.

If the things I've said on this thread seem like selfpity to you,then your grasp of the English language must be deplorable to say the least.don't let your blind devotion blind your cognitive senses.

@ hedges
Obama was never a governor.He is a first time senator from Illinois,Chicago.

@ hedges
Obama was never a governor.He is a first time senator from Illinois,Chicago.

So,you think making valid statements about your terrible & despicable incompetencies is complaining a lot?
I'll have you know that if you guys do your jobs concerning activation and other important issues,we will be here singing your praises.
Maybe you should channel more of your energies to this cause instead of begging for votes to further transmit your crap.
Some of us have day jobs & cant have the time to come and spend a full day at your office.Thats why we pay for the service & thats why you came up with the bank option.

For not making me watch Assenal and ManCHESTer United in the comfort of my home today,what if i say you hitv people will not have comfort?
But I wont say that sha 'cos I'm a good christian

Do I have to curse you people before you activate me?

Chai,You people should be detained for making me laugh so hard.

@ goldman,
Thanx.

@ urfriend,
See?Are you feeling my pain at all?

Urfriend
U should understand that an angry person has no time 2 go through that lengthy post if it doesnt offer a solution 2 his problem.And myfriend,angry is what I am.
Hitv has defrauded me & is still doing so.And to think Mr Subair is a lawyer who should know d implications of breaking contractual agreements.
Myfriend,I was disconnected before time.I paid 4 days ago and till this moment,i'v not been reconnected.So myfriend,don't expect me 2 read through a long post that offers no solution.
Once again I provide my payment details
Smart card no 017100058639
teller no 241864
bank branch bode thomas
Myfriend,pls know that this isnt personal.I'm not attacking you.Infact,I think u shd be their chief PR person.

When Mr Subair was being interviewed,how come he didn't say anything about activation of subscribers?Or isnt that supposed 2 matter?

Urfriend
Once again,i'm begging 2 know.When can i expect my subscription 2 be activated?Its d third day now & all i have is 'no access'.
Again I provide my payment details.
Smart card no 017100058639
teller no 241864
Bank branch bode thomas
amount paid 4000
Can i say thank you?