₦airaland Forum

lalasticlala:
http://ynaija.com/9-year-old-girl-officially-donates-lunch-money-buhari-see-photos/

franciskaine:
and who told you the minting company was started by GEJ? All this Gejites no go let person hear word. Be ready to cry by March 30th.

viczing:
Okorocha is[b] scam[/b] his university free education is not free don't mind those lies please.

midolian:
At the mention of witch, many would take to their heels even though it is difficult to pin point who really is a witch. While others are hiding, Dr Okhue Iboi is a bold witch and an herbalist born with strange features. He doesn’t hide his identity. As the National Coordinator and Spokesman of Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria (WITZAN), he has made headlines of several national dailies with his spiritual revelations. In this interview with News Editor, Ajibola Abayomi, he was down-to-earth about the group and spoke about activities of witches and their intentions.

Who are witches?

Witches are normal people like every other human being. Some are nice while some are wicked. Witches are everywhere; they are found in the church, mosque, government agencies and other human endeavours. Spiritually, some of them have five or six eyeballs

They are creatures of God. Many of them are among shakers and movers of opinions in the society. However, not all witches are bad. It depends on the side you belong to. I am a member of the white witch group that is pure at heart. Those who are black witches are not like us. They are very difficult. As an herbalist, I have used my god-given powers to assist many people and companies to bounce back to life. I have rescued several people from abject poverty; so also many companies that have closed shop were resuscitated through me. I give God all the glory. I am not created for evil. Anyone that partakes in evil act will never progress because there is nothing that is hidden forever.

You used to comment on political issues, what is the spirit telling you about the general elections?

I am not supporting any politician. I warned former Vice President Atiku Abubarka not to contest against President Goodluck Jonathan four years ago, that he would be defeated that the action won’t make him return to power again. Not only him, I also warned General Ibrahim Babangida not to attempt it too. His spokesman then, Kassim Afegbua, said some witches said Babangida would win. I hope they know better now. We just held a meeting of witches in Kogi State where it was revealed to me that Jonathan would win the presidential election. He has the support of all witches to continue in office. I don’t see General Mohammadu Buhari ruling this country. We don’t have a political party but if anyone seeks our help, we shall render it. There was a time witches in Benue State invited other witches across the country to offer prayers for the Senate President, David Mark, against impeachment. We flew to Otukpo and later to a village called Owetor. That was where we offered the prayers.

Was the Senate President involved and was he at the venue of the prayer?

No, he was not there. I told you that it was the witches in Benue State that initiated the prayer session. David Mark did not know about it. The Benue witches said that him, being a son and their pride, they don’t want him to be disgraced from office like many of his predecessors through impeachment.

How far can your votes assist Mr. President, what is the population of your members and are you registered with Corporate Affairs Commission (CAC)?

We are uncountable. We don’t have any register but we know ourselves. Registration is alien to our culture. That is an English idea. We are working to invent our own aircraft just like the airplane. We have been travelling round the globe with the wooden one we have. Our last international meeting was held in Tanzania. We are planning to hold another one in Kenya soon. The focus of our meeting is to ensure that all the bad things brought to Africa are wiped out. Those who colonised our forefathers made use of witchcraft power but they never disclosed that to anyone.

How did you people fly to Benue State, did you go through the airport or through your spiritual links?

(Laugh) We flew there through our own airport. We have our own plane that takes us across the globe.

How does the plane look?

You can’t see it.

Are you implying that you people turned to birds and flew down there?

Yes. I have told you that we have our own plane made of planks. When you enter it, you can fly to anywhere in the world without problem. Let me continue my story about the prayer we offered for David Mark. It was in 2012. When we went to Benue for the prayer, it was also revealed that President Jonathan has been ordained to continue his reign in 2015. The witches in the Northern states were the ones that moved the motion in support of Jonathan and all of us voted for him. They said they loved what he has done for the Northerners in the area of road constructions, schools, agriculture and other amenities their children have benefited from.

What is the interest of the witches in Jonathan’s projects? Are you implying that a woman around Mr. President is your member?

No, that is not the case. I am putting the record straight; please no woman around Mr. President is our member. Witches and wizards are also human beings that are entitled to good things of life.

What do you mean? 

We have members across the country in high and low places. Many prominent people in the society are our members. They are both within and outside the government.

Specifically, what has the President done for the witches to warrant their support for his re-election apart from what you mentioned?

Everything he is doing in the country, our members are benefiting from it. Therefore, we wasted no time in endorsing him.

What do you foresee happening during and after the elections?

President Jonathan will win the election and violence will erupt after the announcement of the result. However, the tension that will pervade the nation will subside with prayers from Nigerians because we are a nation of prayer warriors.

Does the spirit also tell you who will succeed the President?

After his second term, power will return to the North. As at now, the identity of the person that will succeed him is yet to be revealed. We shall know the fellow by 2017.

Beside election matters, what other message do you have for the nation?

From this year, our economy will witness a turn-around and power will be stable. Investors will flood the nation and those living abroad will return home. If the government can trust us, we can help to eradicate Boko Haram. We know what to tell Jonathan and the leader of the sect will be caught without stress. He will come out by himself from his hiding.

Must you see Mr. President before you make the sect leader surrender?

There are certain things we have to do that are beyond my capacity. If the President invites me, I shall reveal the way out to him. The moment the leader of the sect is caught, their operation will collapse.

We have seen witches that confessed that they had used their children to redeem pledges, as members of the cult. Do you deny that?

Those are people who belong to the black witch society. They or their siblings may have eaten human flesh as members of such society. Therefore, there is no way if that happened that they would not be requested to provide their own meat in return. Whoever kills will surely be killed in return. Anyone with witchcraft powers can only harm members of his or her family. If anyone suffers witchcraft attack, definitely one of the fellow’s family members is a witch. No witch operates outside his or her own family. If they do, then they will be overstepping their boundary.

In your own group, what do you people demand in exchange for pledges?

We don’t demand anything in return as members of white witch society.

http://dailyindependentnig.com/2015/03/shocking-revelation-witches-back-jonathan-beat-buhari/

oakson:
In the following lines you'd be exposed to how to attract, woo, and marry ladies in some Nigerian churches.

Get a seat and let's roll...

MOUNTAIN OF FIRE
Wooing an MFM girl entails a fiery approach. U must be spiritually rugged, a carrier of fire[dem go fit fry egg for your head sef wit d kain fire wey u must carry].

You must be a demon chaser and spiritual jail breaker!

Going on 3 days dry must be like 3 hours to you.

Academic qualification is at least OND. You must be vast in demonology, with a clear, robust and empirical demonic interpretation of sex, anger, beer, etcetera

You must also know the demons behind shoki dance, sekem, attachment, weave on and the likes!

Finally you must have cast out at least 10 demons from your life or anybody's!

N.B: You can't Test Before Payment[b](TBP)[/b] because demons would expose you.

DEEPER LIFE
Hmmmm.... ***clears throat***

You must know the bible from pali to pali, sell all your designers and get yourself some old skool shirts and trousers.

Change your LCD to black and white, your home theatre to video cassette player(because brethren may come for inspection)!

You must have the same speech pattern like the general himself (baba I hail o), with good command of the English language.

Academic qualification must be minimum Bsc or its equivalent! [if you no go school your type dey dere too]

It is not capital intensive as there would be no need for cinemas,vacation,picnics, night outs and diamond ring for the 'will you marry me' question!

Just easter and december retreat is okay for the relationship.

Above all you must be willing to use your head carry eba during retreats and very humble to the core

NB: Tasting Before Payment TBP and divorce are not allowed
.

REDEEMED
Let sombori shout aleluya...

You must get yourself every RCCG souvenirs you can think of; ranging from wrist band to calender, t-shirt, sticker etcetera. You can even sew a customised RCCG's ankara and wear it to her place.

You must have one of their pastor that is close to Baba as a relative or in-law(to make the girl head swell well well)

Join the workers, especially ushering department or choir and be a regular pilgrim of Holy Ghost Night and let's go a fishing.

Get yourself different colours of tambourine and security whistle(for praise na) in case you no sabi dance well well.

N.B:[/b]Their wedding is relative to the intended couples pocket! Academic qualification at least Bsc

[b] Christ Embassy and Household of God
Same thing applies to these two churches as their MOG share almost everything in common!

You must be a very good jerry curler, a huge sower of seed and a great shouter!

Sit on top of a conglomerate or be a celeb(up coming artiste are allowed with Queen's english and heavy swag).

If you no go school at all abi you no sabi English, sorry bro, your own don finish, don't just apply!

Your taste of fashion must be high and designers all through to your boxers with demon binding perfumes!

You must be a good mimer and fan of Sinachi, Buchi, Frank Edward and their likes.

If you kon get talent, like good voice join am or you be fine boy... Chai your own don haf done!

No bringing of bibles to d church; your tablets and other gadgets must be visible and a debtor to the eyes(j'oju n'gbese)!

You must be able to speak in tongues and not just have a common one, you must have at least 5 types of tongue with vibration!

Their wedding is mostly expensive.
N.B: Unlimited TBP is inclusive with a robust package

Warning: these marriages are liable to die young.

WHITE GARMENT
You must be a great drinker of Alomo, orijin, baby oku and paraga for easy, direct and uninterrupted access to the spirit world! Weed is also allowed!

You must carry dreadlock with a good display of Terry G's kind of madness!

Your garment can be yellow, red or blue according to the colour of your preferred drink or its container.

White if you prefer palm wine! You must sabi shoki and alanta well well and sabi use clap and broom cure madness!

A little knowledge of Quran would do because they often speak arabic in their realm! You will need a kind of Jarules or Papa Ayo's chain on your garment to really convince her that you belong!

Their wedding is not compulsory as the girl could even be carrying your third child without u even knowing her parents!

Academic qualification is at least primary school leaving certificate with little madness or a certificate from Aro or Yaba left!

N.B: Polygamy and TBP dey yafun yafun!

CHRIST APOSTOLIC CHURCH
This you can and can't do it alone, you will need the help of your grandma cos dem no dey gree leave the church.

Learn two or three hymns, few of Uncle Ojo Ade's song and Mama Bola Are's and be a good prayer leader.

Cram as many psalms you can, how to pray on water and see vision or hear voices.

Get yourself a prayer bell sew one cassock and make it a daily routine at exactly 5am be the one to always wake the girl's neighbourhood with your morning cry.

When you get to the front of her building stand for 3-5minutes and raise your voice higher, then proceed.

Continue for three weeks and watch how things unfold!

Qualification is minimum SSCE and their wedding is considerate!

N.B: No Testing... and divorce is not allowed!

No mind my English o, just let's catch fun!


Please this is not to ridicule or mock the body of Christ

free2ryhme:
there was no hard work else you would have graduated with a 2.2

Macelliot:
Members of the pan-Biafran organisation, Movement for the Actualization of the Sovereign State of Biafra (MASSOB), Friday marched round major streets of Enugu calling for the removal of INEC’s chairman, Prof. Attahiru Jega.

Displaying placards of various inscriptions, the pro-Biafrans, most of whom clad in navy blue uniform with the Biafran rising sun insignia assembled at Edinburgh Road, New Layout, from where they ‎trooped to the major streets of Enugu chanting solidarity songs.
Some of the placards read: “Jega must go”, “Jega has compromised”, “No election with Jega on seat”, “Jega is not impartial” etc.

They were led by their Enugu zonal chairmen, Mrs. Augustina Ugwuoke, Ben Ekwunugo and E. Ilogu in the peaceful protest march.

The MASSOB leader, Chief Ralph Uwazuruike in a telephone chat told our correspondent that ‎: “We organising the protest against Jega because he is biased and cannot conduct a credible election for Nigerians.
“We know that he is in favour of APC and if allowed to conduct the elections, he will definitely favour the party and when that happens, there will be crisis and people will die.

“The crisis will and can even lead to a war and we don’t want bloodshed.

“We are not hiding the fact that we are supporting Jonathan because of the burial he gave to our leader, Ojukwu and therefore we are sure that if the election is free and fair that Jonathan will win.”




http://thenationonlineng.net/new/massob-shuts-down-enugu-says-jega-must-go/

Pinkiedearie:
..I do it wella..

oluamid:
And how do you know these about God? Oh I forgot, it was written in the Bible.

Saimeritus:
The past 3 girlfriend I had dumped me because I refused to do the thing with them. I'm from a very responsible family and I had a covenant with God not to have sex until marriage. I have been good to those girls , buys them lots of gift cos I'm on 3 scholarships.The day I went to the home of my 2nd gf, we were all alone in the house, she kept touching me but I didn't make a move. This infuriated her. The next day I called her, she keeps busying my calls. She dumped me just like that. My last gf came to my room at school the other day and I cooked for her, entertained her very well but when she showed green light , I rejected it. I have been calling her since then but she doesn't pick my calls. They all say that I'm not a man. pls what should I do to keep a good girl into a relationship? I think I am a failure when it comes to relationships. candid advice needed

emusmith:
You know... No matter how wealthy a woman is, she doesn't feel satisfied until a man is giving her some more. It goes beyond the money- that's her make up.

I also believe she went for Power and Fame.

oluamid:
Hmmmmmm. [s]Your God selects the questions he answers[/s]. How convenient!

I don't have a God. What I have is a conscience.

oluamid:
Your God obviously doesn't like being asked questions. I daresay your God Is a dictator.

pinkycute:
Am here to learn

jerrymej:
It's a rhetorical question! Doesn't deserve an answer.

Well am here to learn.

TopsyKrete:
I was in the midst of some students some time ago, engaged in some data update, when some of those student noticed i had some slice bread and moi-moi at my side.

They requested i give them the bread but one suggested i throw out a question, and that who ever gets the answer will have the bread.

I thought to myself, "hey, that's not a bad idea.

The next thing that came out of my mouth as a question was:

"Where was God coming from before HE started creation"?


They all gave up on my afternoon meal.

But seriously, where was God coming from?

Was HE lonely or did HE just acquire the power of the ALMIGHTY from a just concleuded war?

I need the house to help me out on this.

Thanks.

Rapmoney:
Winner01, the truth is that there's nothing like a virtuous woman!!! Do you think you can find those qualities you mentioned in a single woman? Just marry and manage the crises in your life!

**Modified**
Abeg, my pipo...body nor carry me go church today. Wetin una wan make I do? Nor be to go sidon for Oneki place, start to dey knack Orijin dey wait church pipo wen go to come back?

An2elect2:
Wow! This is beautiful! a virtuous woman is indeed a perfect handiwork of our Great God.

MsVenza:
Point of correction! Sperm is not a fluid; Sperm is the male reproductive cell. Millions of sperm cells + secretions from cowper's and prostrate glands make semen/seminal fluid.