₦airaland Forum

your cousin turn you on?

chinesedoll:
You RE A BIG FOOL

SEUN WHERE RE You

Gamine:
Who is this idioto.

syren:
Explain yourself first 

Early today, someone post a picture of a man and woman having sex on all the threads in the romance section. Chinesedoll is calling him a big fool.

Background can influence anything future if you allow it.

dutty:
talking about smartness, what does 'rotflmao' stand for? anybody?

Rolling
On
The
Floor
Laughing
My
Ass
Off.

My mother used to say, if I beat my child it does not mean I want outsider to do the same. Looks like Yar'adua subscribes to the same mentality. Only the future will tell if both my mother and Yar'adua are right.

4Him:
If that is true then go for her. You wont be committing any crime going back to where your heart truly is. You will hurt your present girl in the process but better a broken heart than a lifetime of regrets in a marriage. whatever happens you can take solace in the fact that u at least tried to see if it would work again.

O boy . . . man no be small pikin again o!  For the first time, i'm actually thinking of a serious committment.

Think of it seriously, my man. when you find the right person, it will be easy.

Thank you Nairlanders for your input. Almondjoy, I don't know personally only from your postsm but you hold a special place in my heart Tell your hubby make e no worry, I see you as a big sister nothing more.

Sisi, this is not over.

EccentricJ, this is not new . . . i'd advice you leave your present girl now . . . even if u don't marry your first love u wont fully appreciate her enough and u will continue to make unfair comparisons forever.
BUT before you take a huge leap with your old flame please be cautious, 10yrs is not the same as 10mins . . . the girl u once knew may have changed and u may end up realising u were hankering after a past that had long since morphed into a new personality.

Bro, trust me from what I have seen and heard of recent, she still has the same personality.

But what is it with folks talking about committed relationships today? I just heard the last of my friends is now engaged too!

E be like say my man never meet the right woman. When you find her, no one go need to force before you start wearing I am commited sign all over the place.

Lady Almondjoy, show me a man who can control his emotions and I'll show you a liar. I understand you and please know I am not taking this lightly. In end, all I want is a wife who is happy and i know when I say yes I will marry you, I becme partly responsible for her happiness.
That's all, J

You are single. . . .this is your chance to follow your heart.  If you get married feeling like this. . .I am sorry to say that you may be in some big trouble.  Be honest with your new girlfriend and tell her you are not mentally in that relationship any more.  Reach out to the other babe and see what she says.  My fear is that you having some nostalic feelings over someone who might not feel the same way for you.  You are doing your present girlfriend a huge disservice.

If I were you, I would let go of this present relationship FIRST, anyway before I even reach out for the other babe. You can't have your cake and eat it too.  If you lose both. . .that is a price you must have to accept.  Being alone.

Thank You, I knew there was a reason I admired you. Even though you are a woman, you don't let it stop your from saying your mind even if it goes against what majority of the ladies here think.  I am Single and I have a chance to follow my heart. Abi if you don't take chances in your youth, when will you do it? I know If I get married the state I am right now, it's my present girlfriend that will suffer it and you may not believe me but I do care for her and i want her to be happy. She's a good person and will make a good wife but not for me. I regret that it took me this long to realize it but that's life.

Maybe it's nostalgia I am feeling for my old friend and it won't work but in my old age, I can look back knowing I tried.

Sisi, between you and Almondjoy I don’t know who I enjoy pass. Who knows what I said when I was a boy? Thanks be to Allah for enlightenment. You are right, all those characteristics didn’t happen in one day but I thought I could live with it. Not anymore, maybe now I like mouthy, flaky spontaneous girls. Is there a crime for a man to change his mind?

Ma ne ne Amfani? Lubabatu

This is my story I wrote on another thread. My man Emma was having the same problem so I posted there.


Any guys who has had feelings for two girls knows the matter is not as easy as you are putting it. Each girl has something he can live with, that is why there is a problem in the first place.

Emma, I have been in your position and I am still in your position, my own has lasted over ten years, this girl we grew up together, she knows me more than I know myself, like your  US girl, she is natural, funny and can adapt to any situation. When we were teenagers, our friends and family used to joke around that if we don’t marry each other, nobody will marry us. We will both laugh and fashe the whole thing. She was my junior sister’s friend but we were all close in age. When my sister died we became even closer, she helped me a lot during that time and I think that’s when I started falling for her but I did not know what I was feeling back then,  I went to London to study and she stayed in Niger for 1 year or two then she went to US. Before she went, me and her used to correspond, I’ll tell her about all the Londoner falling for me and she will even advice me on what I should do, if somebody break up with me, it’s her I will first tell, sometimes she will laugh at me but I know is not in a wicked way, is something like Mr. Casanova can get his heartbroken wonders shall never end, she always manage it makes me feel better about myself. After she move to the Us we lost touch  but I still hear about how she’s doing because family still connect us, once in a while we will try reconnect; but something will happen. I moved to Ireland for graduate studies and we lost touch again but she was always at the back of my mind. When I was in Ireland, I met another girl from the same place I come from in Nigeria and we clicked. We started to date, this girl is very nice, she is gentle but insecure. Right from the moment we started dating, she will ask me to promise I won’t leave her. In the beginning I will promise but after my study in Ireland, I had to move back to London and it took me a long time to convince her that I am not leaving her but I have to go to back because that’s where I will find a good job. She finally agreed but on the condition that she transfer her courses to a school in London, for me that was a stupid idea because she was almost done and if she transfer, some school will want her to take other classes to match their prerequisite. Lucky for her, she was able to get into a school that took all her courses. She didn’t move in with me because her family are strict about that type of thing, but we have sex.

In 2006, my step-sister told me my friend’s sister was getting  married in the us and because their name sound alike, I thought she said my friend was getting married. I was so shocked, my heart wanted come out of my mouth, it was like my step sister knew what I thought, she started to laugh and say not her, the other one and that’s when my mind cool down. My step  sister made fun of me that day that I should find a way to divorce my childhood friend if I want to marry this new one.  My new girlfriend has seen pictures of my friend but she thinks she’s one of my relatives since it was in a family album. My problem is that even though me and my girlfriend have not talked about marriage but it is like the next level but I have just reconnected with my old friend and I will not lie to you, nothing has changed. I can still talk to her about anything, it’s like over ten years have not passed between us. She still has  a way of making me laugh and feel better about myself and now I find that I am dragging my leg with my girlfriend, she is eager to get engaged because the company I work for right formed a partnership with a Nigerian company in Abuja and since I’m from there, I have been picked to as part of the team. They say the time frame is 6 months but we should prepare ourselves for unexpected delay since it’s Nigeria. I am ot sure why any talk of engagement right now makes me angry, my friends say it’s because my girl is trying to force my hand but m step sister thinks it is because I have reconnected with my first love. This kind of situation brings rain of abuses most especially from the girls here on Niaraland but before una curse my generation past present and future, please help a brother out. Emma abeg forgive me as I take your space, I don’t want to start another thread since our situation is the same.

I will really like your thought on this. Thank you my fellow nairalanders. I also want say in my two years of reading nairaland, this is one of the few thread where people really try to help someone. I agree with my man olanajim about thread crashers, this is an avenue to help each other make una let us use am wisely. 
That is all, J

Lady Almondjoy, I bow to you. You really tell it as it is but these are not bad memories or hurtful memories, they are memories of the best time in my life. It came after a very bad time, I lost my younger sister who was her best friend, in an accident and for awhile after that I was lost and this person, despite her age put her grief aside and helped me a lot. I don't mean cuddling me, sometimes she will just come to our house and do nothing, sometimes she will talk about my sister when everybody around won't mention her name. I can't understand how she knew what to do. As we grew up, we became closer but just as friends. If she can be like that at that age, what kind of woman is she now? This is what I wonder.

[quote author=D-reloaded link=topic=123811.msg2109666#msg2109666 date=1206992142]AJ, are yiou saying that if a person leaves a relationship and realizes after a while that the person they left still means the world to them, they should never try again? Of course assuming the people in question are single[/quote]We didn't even get a chance to have one and as far as I know, we are both single. My step-sister who keeps in touch with her family has not told me anything about her being married.

Men want a Mona-Lisa/Mother Theresa/Elizabeth Needham all rolled in one.
Beautiful & Caring, thrifty with money and a LovePeddler in bed. Don't lie.

My girlfriend subscribes those yeye women online magazines and since she thinks we should share email because it makes us a real couple (I go die o) I get email to shit like this. I saw this one this morning and my brothers I wanted to die from laughing. Women will not drive men crazy

10 Things Men Think Women Like

You are trying your hardest to make a good impression. You act in ways you think she'll like and you tell her what you think she wants to hear. But somehow, even your best efforts backfire.

Sound familiar?

Indeed, many guys behave in certain ways toward women because they think it will help their cause. They cry and profess their love to score a few extra points. But in fact, when taken to the extreme, these supposed "women-friendly" behaviors are sometimes the very things that will annoy her the most.

The following is a list of 10 such offenses that men commit regularly. They are all behaviors that women supposedly like, but unfortunately, they are often used in excess. So don't let your relationship go sour because of some petty misconceptions. With a quick read of the list below, you should have a clear idea of what to do -- and perhaps more importantly, what not to do -- in order to get her and keep her.

1. You call her too often

Why it will work against you: Incessant dialing is a major faux pas if you want to keep your dignity. It not only makes you look obsessive and dependent, but it can downright annoy her. If you are always on the other end of the phone, you lose your aura of mystery and independence that can be so intriguing.

What to do instead: For every two to three times you call her, she should be calling you at least once. Because of the old-world rules of courtship, you will inevitably be calling more often, but you should still make sure the calls are going both ways. Also, don't call during work hours or on Friday or Saturday nights.

2. You cry

Why it will work against you:[/i]You've heard time and time again that she wants a sensitive man, so you open the tear ducts every time she's around. Wrong. Crying makes you look too emotional and needy, possibly even unstable. She wants to be with someone who has an aura of strength and the capacity to protect her. But if you are constantly crying, your manly image is gone. Not to mention the annoyance factor: If you cry in public, she could be embarrassed, and that's the worst offense you can commit.

[i]What to do instead: Unless something very tragic happened and your tears are genuine, ditch the crying act. Being sensitive to her needs is important, tears are not.

Smooching in public, always letting her decide and more relationship-busting offenses

3. You give her too much PDA

Why it will work against you: Rule No. 1: Never do anything to embarrass her publicly. And serenading, ogling and smooching her in public might do just that. Not only will she consider breaking up with you over it, she might also get pressure from friends and family to do so. The last thing you want is a bad rep with her crew as being possessive, cheesy or just plain silly.

What to do instead: Some women do indeed like a certain degree of PDA, but walk that line with care. Start with a peck in public and judge her reaction before proceeding to the public serenade.

4[b]. You use baby talk and try to be cute[/b]

Why it will work against you: It is cheesy, kitschy, silly, nausea-inducing. Need I say more? Baby talk is for babies, so don't do it to her.

What to do instead: You are allowed to have the odd pet name and cute inside joke, but leave it at that. Unless she baby talks to you first and gives you a strong indication that she likes that kind of thing, do yourself a favor and ditch it entirely.


5. You are too accommodating

Why it will work against you: Yes, it's important to let her pick the movie once in a while. But if you are watching Dirty Dancing for the 11th time, you have a problem. While you need to be accommodating to some extent, you don't want to appear spineless. In particular, don't ask her permission to do things; that produces a mother-child dynamic, which is surely not what she is looking for in a relationship.

What to do instead: Take your spine back and show her that you are capable of making a decision. Pick the movie, the restaurant or the television show once in a while. After all, that's the basis of compromise -- sometimes she decides, sometimes you do.

6. You are too close with her family and friends

Why it will work against you: While she wants you to be friendly with her family and friends, she doesn't want you to jump the gun either. Especially in the early stages of a relationship, she'll want to make sure things are working between the two of you before bringing her family and friends into the mix.

What to do instead: Your relationship with her family and friends is something that has to develop over time. Be cordial and friendly, but don't go planning her brother's birthday party if you've only been together for a month.

7. You groom excessively

Why it will work against you: A woman generally doesn't want a man to spend more time grooming than she does. But perhaps more importantly, too much grooming will take away from your rugged, relaxed sex appeal. And believe me, that's so much more sexy on a man than a manicure.

What to do instead Make sure you are clean and smell good, but ease up the facials and manicures; your sex appeal will skyrocket.


8. You profess your love for her prematurely or too often

Why it will work against you: I know you probably think that the way to a woman's heart is through an "I love you." And you are not completely off base. But such a declaration made too early (or too often) will only freak her out. Not only that, but it puts you in an awfully vulnerable position if she doesn't say it back.

What to do instead: There is a time and place for everything. Don't say it because you think it will impress her; only say it when you mean it. And please, limit yourself to saying it a few times a week.

9. You "overdance"

Why it will work against you: Do you say things like, "I love to dance," or, "Let's go dancing tonight"? When she wants to leave a nightclub, do you find yourself saying, "Just one more song"? If you commit any of these offenses, then you are most certainly are overdancer. You are the extreme opposite of the "I don't dance" kind of guy and you are risking not being taken seriously. She might think you are avoiding buying her a drink or conversing with her at the bar. If all that is not enough, consider this: An overdancer tends to be smelly and sweaty by the end of the night.

What to do instead: Don't look so eager. She'll want you to dance some of the time, but you don't have to always be the instigator. Try to judge when she wants to dance and initiate dancing only half of the time. And don't forget to take breaks to buy her drinks.

10. You talk constantly

Why it will work against you: You might be a great talker, but if you can't be silent with her sometimes, then you need to listen up. Your incessant blabber is bound to annoy her sooner or later. Scratch that; it's probably already annoying her.

What to do instead: Although you've been taught to think that women like men who can talk and share, it goes both ways. Make sure you leave the floor open for her to talk too. Ask questions and don't forget to listen. And remember: sometimes silence is golden.

It might take some time and mental adjustment to rid yourself of these stereotypical notions of what women like. You've probably been told from birth that she'll like it if you sing to her accompanied by a six-piece band.

But the key here is moderation. You don't have to abandon any of the above behaviors entirely; just keep them low-key and you'll be fine. It's like with any good diet: Moderate all of the above behaviors, and every once in a while you can splurge on a public kiss without blowing it entirely.


EccentricJ Says: Oya, Ladies do you agree with everything? Disagree with Everything? Agree with some and think the rest is Bullshit? Make una let us hear your thoughts

Use those good feelings to enhance the new ones.

This is True talk but also the big problem, the good feelings make you realize what you have now ain't worth much. There are some girls you can't forget no matter how you try and this person is one of them. I don't know what the furture holds but I know I want more than I have now. That na bad thing?

And if you can't. . .use them to console yourself that someone, somewhere once appreciated you and you cannot be all that terrible.

My sister, that is even worse when you know someone, somewhere once appreciated you for who you are. Never made demands of you and because of them you tried to be a better person.

Joey82:
@poster
whether reminiscing is good, bad or have no effect, u don't have a choice but reminisce.
and once in a while d bad memories show up, [b]depending on your mindset, u can even use them to your advantage.[/b]personally, anytime i look back, i c that all those things that made me jealous and sad were rather ridiculous and laughable now that i'm all grown up, it gives me a sense that ve really come of age and taking life je je.

True talk.

@ Emma
Emma, How are you my man? i checked the last thread and you have not visted since them. Hope everything is good for you. This person is a girl and I know I enjoyed being with her, we never really dated because we were teens but everything she makes me feel both good and bad I cherish.


@almondjoy
Lady i like you, I will not lie. I've always enjoy reading your posts. You are bold and you say what's on your mind and i agree with you but the question is what of those good feelings start messing new one? How man go handle am?

This is my own experience on the issue, sometimes you don't have to say it, both of you just know, sometimes it's better not to say it because you can lose both your friend and potential girlfriend and sometimes don't need to tell because you know it will not lead anywhere so you let the feelings ride out.
That's na all the money I get.

I have been reading NL for 2 years and last month I joined because I recognized somebody from my past, my childhood and this made me start feelings, old things, new things, confused things   I watched Eternal Sunshine of spotless mind when it first came out I thought the movie was so stupid but my girlfriend enjoyed it, she said it was romantic, I didn’t think so, why should I erase my memory because I don’t want remember something? Well, since meeting this person again, my mind is asking questions, remembering things I thought I have forgotten and things I wish I could forget.

My question to Nairlanders is reminiscing a good thing? A Bad thing or does it matter? Let’s be constructive no insults.

Sisikill:
Me as a whole - Priceless!!!

Beyond Priceless!!!

I agree I am from the north,  I went to NMS and since it was all boys school, we will go to social nights at the girls school around us. We used to have problems getting girls from the north to do anything we wanted. I don't even bother to ask because I know how they are, I have sisters and friends and I knew how they will react but the girls from Lagos will do anything. On our way back to school, we will be exchanging story about which one let us touch her breast and which one let her out out hand under their skirt.

I was 14 and she was 13,  my best friend, she was a tomboy before she went to those stupid all girls boarding school and came back looking like a real Sisi. We still managed to play like we used to, one day we were playing hide and seek with my brothers, step-siblings and her brother. Both of us now hid in my mother's wardrobe and I don't know why I kissed her on the lips but instead of responding, she gave me a blow on my stomach and said she will tell my mom and her mom, I started begging her because I know my mom will kill me and my brothers and sisters will make fun of me. She said she will give me one more chance and if I ever kiss her again, she won't be my friend anymore. I never kissed her again. I kissed a lot of girls since then but I remember that one very well because my stomach hurt me through out the day and I couldn't tell anyone why. 

olanajim
My brother I like your advise but you are too harsh on Emma. You don't understand, this is life time commitment, a man has to be aggressive in what he wants. It is not like he is thinks he is doing them a favor but if he makes the wrong choice, who will suffer? It's the girl now.

@sisikill
Ha! Sisi, me na fad‘a? Okay, na fihimta. Ki yi hakuri.


To Emma and all
Thank you for your contribution. Deep down we all know what we really want but we want other people to maybe justify it for us, so that we can feel less guilty. This is my life and I want to be happy, I can not accomodate another person't fears. I will do what I have to do and pray for forgiveness. If it doesn't work out, no regret I know that I tried.

Emma my brother, follow your heart oh.

I can't believe the ignorance on full display on this thread. So all moslim people are Jihad fighters? May you God forgive you for judging other people. I have seen Christians and moslim coexist in the same house and nobody has yet to kill the other person. Some Christians can turn people off Christianity.
That's all, J

@Emma
You are correct, I want a woman who knows me, we I can rely on. The Girl from London is a nice girl but she needs me too much. Sometimes, I am afraid of what she will do if I leave her. She has family around London and Ireland but she never really visit them, I will even suggest she go see them but she takes it like I am driving her away. I know some women will think I am immature and I am not ready for a relationship but that is not true. I only want her to have a life outside me. I am having second thought about taking the facilitation job in Nigeria because anytime the topic come up, she will become sad and say she knows if I go, I will not come back and even I come back, I won't come back for her. That shit  makes  a brother tire, sometimes I wonder maybe I am with her because of what I think will happen if I leave. My friend in the US is self reliant, she has her own life even though she still respect the family she comes from. They are like night and day, I know some people will say don't compare but that is bullshit. Show me a man who can make a decision without comparing, even to buy tie we compare.

Sorry Emma, but I agree with people who say you have made your mind about the US girl. I want to know how you will move forward from here? Please respond and if you don't want to do it here please hit me on my YIM.


@ SAM MILLA
Why are condemning him? He said they girl in Nigeria is not is wife.You can not understand one man's pain until you were his shoe. Advice not insult.

Any guys who has had feelings for two girls knows the matter is not as easy as you are putting it. Each girl has something he can live with, that is why there is a problem in the first place.

Emma, I have been in your position and I am still in your position, my own has lasted over ten years, this girl we grew up together, she knows me more than I know myself, like your  US girl, she is natural, funny and can adapt to any situation. When we were teenagers, our friends and family used to joke around that if we don’t marry each other, nobody will marry us. We will both laugh and fashe the whole thing. She was my junior sister’s friend but we were all close in age. When my sister died we became even closer, she helped me a lot during that time and I think that’s when I started falling for her but I did not know what I was feeling back then,  I went to London to study and she stayed in Niger for 1 year or two then she went to US. Before she went, me and her used to correspond, I’ll tell her about all the Londoner falling for me and she will even advice me on what I should do, if somebody break up with me, it’s her I will first tell, sometimes she will laugh at me but I know is not in a wicked way, is something like Mr. Casanova can get his heartbroken wonders shall never end, she always manage it makes me feel better about myself. After she move to the Us we lost touch  but I still hear about how she’s doing because family still connect us, once in a while we will try reconnect; but something will happen. I moved to Ireland for graduate studies and we lost touch again but she was always at the back of my mind. When I was in Ireland, I met another girl from the same place I come from in Nigeria and we clicked. We started to date, this girl is very nice, she is gentle but insecure. Right from the moment we started dating, she will ask me to promise I won’t leave her. In the beginning I will promise but after my study in Ireland, I had to move back to London and it took me a long time to convince her that I am not leaving her but I have to go to back because that’s where I will find a good job. She finally agreed but on the condition that she transfer her courses to a school in London, for me that was a stupid idea because she was almost done and if she transfer, some school will want her to take other classes to match their prerequisite. Lucky for her, she was able to get into a school that took all her courses. She didn’t move in with me because her family are strict about that type of thing, but we have sex. In 2006, my step-sister told me my friend’s sister was getting  married in the us and because their name sound alike, I thought she said my friend was getting married. I was so shocked, my heart wanted come out of my mouth, it was like my step sister knew what I thought, she started to laugh and say not her, the other one and that’s when my mind cool down. My step  sister made fun of me that day that I should find a way to divorce my childhood friend if I want to marry this new one.  My new girlfriend has seen pictures of my friend but she thinks she’s one of my relatives since it was in a family album. My problem is that even though me and my girlfriend have not talked about marriage but it is like the next level but I have just reconnected with my old friend and I will not lie to you, nothing has changed. I can still talk to her about anything, it’s like over ten years have not passed between us. She still has  a way of making me laugh and feel better about myself and now I find that I am dragging my leg with my girlfriend, she is eager to get engaged because the company I work for right formed a partnership with a Nigerian company in Abuja and since I’m from there, I have been picked to as part of the team. They say the time frame is 6 months but we should prepare ourselves for unexpected delay since it’s Nigeria. I am ot sure why any talk of engagement right now makes me angry, my friends say it’s because my girl is trying to force my hand but m step sister thinks it is because I have reconnected with my first love. This kind of situation brings rain of abuses most especially from the girls here on Niaraland but before una curse my generation past present and future, please help a brother out. Emma abeg forgive me as I take your space, I don’t want to start another thread since our situation is the same.

I will really like your thought on this. Thank you my fellow nairalanders. I also want say in my two years of reading nairaland, this is one of the few thread where people really try to help someone. I agree with my man olanajim about thread crashers, this is an avenue to help each other make una let us use am wisely. 
That is all, J

Sisikill:
Eccentricj
Okay, I remember Ebvu my love. . .Good book but I don't know you.

You think you don't me. How many sisikill are out there? Check my profile, I left you a clue and read all my post. If you still don't me I will jump in the river.

Mai Chiki,

Sisi my love, you remember Ebvu my love? You have not changed one bit.