₦airaland Forum

sapiosexual1:
Perhaps I'll make more sense when you grow up. Men don't peep, boys do. By the way, do you know what is called voyeurism? It's a disorder of sexual behavior.As a professional, I can help you deal with it.

ok Bro. I hear ya. But you can't teach your elders. It will be the other round. My humble opinion

haywire07:
Thank God u are the holy type.

In other words, if it happens to be sm1 else (probably like me) I'll make sure we become close friends and bang the hell out of her.

But I won't date her

for real bro? Bang ke. Mbanu, I won't wanna shake her sef from today talk less of naked mushing. Hian oh

sapiosexual1:
Eddygourdo, so ur actually a peeping Tom? Quite disgusting to say the least.

I had to do what I had to do. It was unbearable. At least I endured awhile. Plus what is there to peep at bro. Peep at things I am now tired of doing? pls make more sense

EZEIGBO1OFIMO:
She I an agent of the devil, I know them when I see them, avoid her like the egyptian tenth plague.

really, I thought as much. It is scary bro. Pity those men

I decided to keep quiet for days now and not complain to my beloved nairalanders, I appear to be complaining alot these days. But I have to say this one cos I have endured enough. Wetin sef. Those who have followed my earlier posts can attest I just got a new apartment which I moved into after my ordeal with rats from hell as well as some silly tolotolo who clearly don't want to see me anymore in that area. I was to manage this place till I got a better place (mud house full area I swear). In truth I managed it cos I heard it's a domain for female corpers anyway four days ago just as I hoped a lady moved into the next room, tall dark, big breasted lady. A corper. I was disappointed with the big breast thing as that clearly ruled her out for me to consider conquering. I initially tried to be friendly by welcoming her but the moment I realised she was likely a spoilt brat I let her be, she didn't sweep th corridor after littering it with cartons of gagdets she brought, over ten different men visited with each carrying an electronic device, some came with television only to see another man has brought one earlier, there was a frenzy amongst them anyway to equip her room. Well I minded my own business and went about my way, till the next night though, very late at night once it gets to 1am upwards, there is this loud shriek and screams of a lady, shouting in gibberish. I woke up in panic but when I realised it was from the next room coupled with all the men I have seen coming and going, I assumed the sounds must be the lady's ringing tone during sex. Unfortunately this isn't the first time I am living with shameless women who can't keep their voices down, including those who shout oh jigbi jigbi. .. Jesus son of Abraham . I have heard it all. But in this case this scream continued till the late hours of the morning. When she greeted me when I saw her I ignored her with a strong face hoping to pass the message of my displeasure at her behaviour but the problem is that this screaming and shouting happened for the next two nights. I had to brave coming out last night to peep through her room window, so incase it's a man doing this to her, so I can run in and boil hot water which I will pour on their naked fornication bodies. But alas thanks to her open windows and light saving bulb I saw her on the bed alone, with her hands and her legs raised up as if trying to fly in hold unto something with her eyes closed, I ran Into my room, in fact I broke the lock in my haste in running away. I was shocked, I couldn't sleep again coupled with the fact I just spoilt my door lock. I moved my bed to wedge the door shut and stayed awake till morning praying fervently. Even God would have been surprised at my serious prayers being that he hasn't heard from me In awhile. Very early this morning, she knocked on my door to greet me. Something she has never done. Now I feel all creepy. I am at work now. But I think I must hasten my house search. Lest we hear stories that touch, arising from yours truly having a heart attack.

(1) mental deterioration
(2) call to harsh realities of the failed Nigerian system
(3) post NYSC depression
(4) underemployment with salary less than corper allawe
(5) delay of premarital plans made in university or camp
(6) back to square one, hanging around the house as though you are a jambite who jamb and post utme swore to deal with
(7) loss of self worth thanks to numerous failed aptitude tests and interviews
( realisation that most uncles, aunties and family friends you hope on to help in the job search are absolutely, I mean absolutely useless
(9) possible loss of loved one to a more promising man who flowers has already bloomed
(10) negative thoughts such as crime, suicide, accusation of village people and ancestral spirits
(11) add your own
(12)add ones you have observed
(13)add the ones that breaks your heart the most.

To be a Nigerian job seeker can change you life long perception of your self worth if time is not taken. The situation is grave, man know man everywhere that the rest of us who know only God appear to be orphans, it's not easy to be going through a phase of joblessness, especially if you have responsibilities hanging on your neck. I say to you, not to despair but continue in your efforts and work on areas that has affected you the most. This could imply better education, certifications, relevant experience, unpaid experience, entrepreneurship, internships, career change, better performance at aptitude tests and interviews, better networking etc anything you can do to improve your situation as human, please do and add prayers to it in faith that God will remember your situation and change it. The Nigerian graduate is in hell, the Nigerian job seeker is in hell, the average Nigerian is in so much hell that I believe most Nigerians will be spared from the real hell fire on rapture day since we lived and are just coming from another hell fire (local travel things). keep up the efforts in this new week, and hopefully we shall read testimonies on the the front page. Happy week

Please tell them, shame the inefficiency of our management of this country and hopefully we might change our outlook

Shegzkenneth:
i accept the fact that many that are above marriageable age are still single neither through their fault nor even through their parents, but the mere fact that it is none of their fault doesn't mean they will remain single for life, buh what u actually mean is that a lady that is 45+ for instance will refuse advances from a man that truely loves her even though she might not yet develop any feelings for him.........you mean she will prefer to be single for life

ok now I get you. With age comes the greater understanding that you must wait for love, you can always learn to love. I grab now. Kudos

Estharfabian:
LoL! I'm weird?? well, you're definitely not the first to tell me that...

Uhm...Every girl's dream is to find that Handsome guy to sweep her off her feet...Blah!!.Well, mine is to find that Intelligent guy that could add numbers faster than me... I Love Smart people! I fall in love with personality....not Looks!


I'm glad u learnt something today tho... Nairaland isn't that bad after all...

hmmmmm m. Am really really impressed. Let me go and change all posts in the past where I bragged I had met them all, this is evidence that's a farce

Estharfabian:
When I'm married...I'm married...my duties would be to my supposed "Husby'' And "kids"...I'm a big fan of fidelity...

LoL...Besides, I don't find handsome guys attractive...

really? sweetheart did your house maid throw you down as a child? the things your saying are kinda weird. I thought every lady loves a handsome man, guess I am naive to think I have met all female stereotypes, well if true and you can say it out loud, your personality is strong and I have no doubt on your earlier submission on your love for fidelity in marriage. learnt something else today though still sounds weird

Estharfabian:
Uh...I don't crush on people based on Looks... tekno isn't Attractive....

Uh...There has to be A connection...everything doesn't havetah revolve around "handsomeness" and "wealth"..I have t marry someone I have a chemistry with...Not a total stranger..I might not like the way he talks, eats, sleep, Or acts..then, I'd have to cope with that all my life?? mbanu!!!!

really he is not handsome? Well am a man so what do I know about such issues, back to topic, well your right though, guess there could be chemistry for you but not love, hopefully with time your love will grow for your man. But he must love you unconditionally at first and meanwhile, well OK dats is comfortable. But what if the love never came after marriage plus thanks to another yeye handsome bloke who keeps chasing you around pretending he never saw your wedding ring, don't you think k because there was no initial love, your most likely to stray?

obiorathesubtle:
I'm glad you see my point. Please do mention me on your next thread so I don't miss it. Thanks.


#anticipating

sure bro. Cheers

Estharfabian:
Arranged Marriage?? Now, that's another thing entirely.... The thought of it churns my stomach!!

It's way different Eddy...It's new territory...getting married to A complete stranger? someone You know absolutely nothing about? Hell NO!!! call me naive...Buh the thought of it sucks..

your not naive dear, it's a reasonable opinion which am sure many others share, let me put it this way, am sure you crush on someone like Ben affleck or tekno, let's assume that am not very bright in entertainment, now these are handsome rich dudes whom you don't know, by your own analysis if u were arrange with them, what would be the pros and cons you could think of.

MsBliss:
Nah there problem go start. but I will be very sure he loves me before being involved with him in the first place.

you see that it defeats the idea of avoiding problems in the first place. I understand you desire to rather be with a man who loves you than you love him, because in truth it's the safest option. Maybe you forgot to add that you will like him at least or find him attractive in order to make the possibility of future falling in love easier

obiorathesubtle:
marry someone you might have an attraction?


See how the world works for men bro
You meet a girl, she's terrific, out of the ordinary, the best! Everything! you want to marry her, but you remember the feet you have on the ground are shaky(innuendo) she could be the same age as you, so you can't marry her because of your feet, she goes off and gets married to someone else whose legs are a lot firm on the ground, you feel betrayal. Yes! But that's the order of things.

When your legs are finally firm, you look around, there's no more time, you need to have a family, you go for a younger girl because your mates are less attractive now, you don't feel the love, you just want to get married and complete the natural 'to-do list' of life

Then you end up like me, the guy in the sequel comment, life goes on, you die, do it all over again in the next life.

So, you see? Marry a woman, try to Love her. Not that you shouldn't marry the woman you love, but will fate allow it?

this is a sequel to my next thread, all these you pointed out. The economy and other issues really scuttle things and pushes us to a stereotyped life we never hoped for. Well will think about this and hopefully say something about it in my next thread

Estharfabian:
Well, true...it's A bit selfish....actually it's really Selfish...

Buh Looking at things on another perspective...there's no way you'd stay with someone all your life without truly having some sortah feelings for that person...Hence my theory "Love grows with time"...

exactly now dear if that preposition is true, why exactly did we start frowning at arranged marriages and calling our parents archaic, I believe whether arranged marriage or one based on love both will work with application of learning to love the person,

Shegzkenneth:
It is better to mary whom u love provided d person loves u in return....love whom u marry is only applicable in a situation whereby one of d parties(especially ladies) or both of d parties is older than d marriageable age or u are pressurize to marry a particular fellow....

do you presume that because a lady or man is above marriageable age, then they must settle? the only option for them is to love whom they marry cos they lucky to even find someone? That's a bit harsh Being that many are single through no fault of theirs. None at all

Zeedarh:
It doesnt always work that way, sis. Marry who you love and love who you marry

thank you

MrsPhyno:
Mmhhm. Altho I always thought I could do an arranged marriage well. Not that it's ideal lol. Please translate @bolded

I read very quickly so I skip parts and then my brain fills in the rest lol and ur monicker resembled someone's at first glance or maybe I'm becoming OCD lol who knows.

not to jump into your discussion but if you ever thought an arranged marriage could work for you. That should tell you alot about ur personality, your strong, brave and love challenges plus you could love someone truthfully and dearly if you put ur mind to it. Cheers

Estharfabian:
Exactly!!! I'd choose someone that Loves me Unconditionally over someone I Love that doesn't equally love me the same way I do...(dunno if that made any sense Buh it kinda did to me)

LOVe grows...With time!

it does makes sense to you cos that's the safest option for your tender heart. Though it's a bit selfish but hey everyone is responsible for his or her emotional health and happiness, so spot on

obiorathesubtle:
Love Jesus

Marry a woman

Try to Love the woman you marry

Yes! In that order

Jesus don't cheat or break your heart or tell you you're useless if things are going bad and its hard to pay the mortgage, the light bill, water bill or any other bill.

Jesus don't force you to have kids so they can play with his mother, and call her grandma and ish.

Jesus don't make you to stop watching a football match cos his soap opera is about to start

Jesus don't slap and insult you in the labour room, blame you for the kid, or calling you a bastard for making him pregnant

Jesus don't say, "hey honey. I need to go see patricia and the girls, natalie's husband just bought her a new car, we're gonna meet up at her place and go celebrate, please take care of the kids"

Jesus don't make you not drink beer in the house because its bad influence on the kids

Jesus don't make you drive through 5 states to go see his mother on a sunday when you supposed to be in front of a damn tv watching Liverpool play and try season after season for the damn trophy!

Jesus don't think michelle is more intelligent than all the kids in her school, so you have to move her to a more expensive private school. Like wtf? How much is my damn salary?


I'm out man! I wish I could marry Jesus and just live my life without stress!

though you strayed from the topic. You gat an intelligent head up there, we will all marry jesus if we could, till we se him we gat ourselves bro. Thus Wat u said earlier makes sense, though u left out marrying someone whom you might have an attraction towards

MsBliss:
Marry the one that loves you.As a female,with time ,I will fall in love with him more.

ha. And if you realise he is cheating pig and couldn't love him back?

Demigods:
Bleep this pussy shit, G ain't gat time to comment on ass faced threads. *spits on thread*

you commented for your information.

Estharfabian:
Love who You marry...

thank you. This solves the problem of those who claimed they married the so called wrong person. Na story be that, we have heard, wrong or right, put effort in loving that person nevertheless

Greycious:
I'd rather marry sm1 whom i'm 100% sure loves me. Than the other way round

hmmmmm, so you love for that person doesn't matter? Have you ever been involved with a lady who was infatuated with u, u will feel she is smothering you bro, but believe me you would never have known a pain greater than that you will feel the moment she gets over her infatuation.

IamLEGEND1:
ain't got time to read that long chapter.....

but I'll say this though- marry whom you love and love whom you marry.

I know I'm not making any sense......but don't question me nonetheless.

if you read the epistle you will realise Wat you said is exactly Wat I said, so you made sense

This question, time and time again has attempted a comparison between marriages of old and marriages of today. The 21st century marriage, all thanks to Hollywood and it's peers has encouraged a marriage based on your love for the individual, our parents and people before them who likely where victims of arranged marriages were more likely bound by loving whom they married. it's now begets the question I posed as the topic of this thread, which proposition makes the most sense, which has better longevity with propensity for crisis resolution. The high rate of divorce in the western world which we Africans have copied has indicated that a marriage based on the love you felt at the onset of marriage, begets most likely a marriage of convenience. Most of these marriages begin to crumble if not fail entirely once life's marital issues and challenges arise. It brings to bear the statement that love is blind but marriage being an eye opener. Most feelings of love never last as time elapses, most attractions wane as age catches up to the partners and they become less attractive. I blame this type of marriage for the present decadence in marriages around the globe. But could a marriage entirely based on loving whomever you married be the solution? I disagree too because as times have changed so also has human tastes evolved. To love whom you have married will always be an easier task If you initially found such person lovable. Nobody can except me for example to love and be faithful to a woman without a big bottom no matter how good she might be. I believe the two approaches are to work I tandem where the initial attraction should be automatic while the love whom you marry be manual. This means that you must let ur heart decide whom it loves, whom it finds compatible, whom it beats the fastest for and after you have done that, marry such a person based on your convictions and decisions. Immediately after your marriage cones the manual part. the part you have to do whether you like it, feel it or even desire it. You must love whom you have married and treat him or her as thy self. You must love them in sickness, in ugliness, in pain, in suffering, in wealth, in poverty. You must love them and respect them. Most marriages fail because people become lazy to do the manual part, they assume the automatic part based only on feelings of love will be enough. That error being pointed out, this thus goes out to young searching singles, seek companions and partners not just based on your love for him or her but also on your ability to love this person irrespective of time, fortunes and scenario. I do hope that application of this principle of responsibility by both single and married people wil one day help ameliorate the decadence in the marriage sham

Frostty:
u guys go kill prsn o.i cant stop laffn.i laff so tay water dey come frm my eyes

take handkerchief

I am not a marriage counsellor per say. But if your husband or you both will wanna talk. I will listen and say my two cents. Add me up 52ca10af.

Onyeozichukwu:
Honestly the social media has taken a great deal on my family. He always say that he is not doing anything apart from the chat that I should trust him but I don't know how to trust him again when he has failed from the promise he made earlier

exactly, since you both allowed social media earlier he will always feel you trying to control him, if you ask him to cease. That's why I advise you get someone else to talk sense into him. I believe the happiness and peace in his family should supersede any joy social media can offer. Plus nne he loves you. Don't regard his behaviour as a lack of love else you might feel depressed and unhappy, try and solve your issues. You are a mature lady thanks to ur experience in marriage so am sure u can handle things. But please if at all he has strayed do forgive as I believe it's likely a physical relationship and can be corrected. Sorry for your pains. I pray God grants you the wisdom to manage this situation till succour cones your way. Happy Sunday

prettigurl16:
Recently, I have been doing a lot of contemplation on my new relationship. Nice guy, a gentleman in every sense, opens and closes doors for me, at the peak of his career with his own home in an exclusive part of town.
The problem is that I decided to test drive seeing as I had arrived at my bus stop( or so I thought).The day started well. We went to dinner in the best restaurant in town. Trust your naija babe. I dressed to kill. He was also very well dressed. I could see that he had

made an effort. I had mussels and oysters. My first time. The white wine was the best.

Then he took me to the beach nearby to watch the sunset. It was beautiful. He had already rented a cabin for the day by the beach, very romantic. Leaving the beach, we came back to the cabin and made love. That was when trouble started. There was no instrument! It was so tiny. I tried to touch it but he said no. Well, that was the end of the evening.

I now berrate myself. I shouldn't have tested. What do you think?
He is caucasian btw

you slept with a lesbian. What u touched was a clit not a prick

This was why I earlier opined that social media should not be for married couples. The temptation to stray is now a phone click away. Sorry dear. Clearly he doesn't listen to you. Try and get someone he listens to, then advise him don't forget that cheating with regards men, if at all he is doing it, is alot different than the female kind. Most times is purely physical and no emotion, this type is very easy to handle by you. As a mature lady am sure u understand what I meant