₦airaland Forum

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CASTING CALL: Absolutely stunning beautiful young ladies are needed for world class music video with no (semi) nudity. Interested persons should submit headshot pic with bios and stats online at c-edge@c-edgemedia.com or in person @ LB GLOBAL ENTERTAINMENT LIMITED. Folben house, 29 Mobolaji bank Anthony way, Ikeja. Deadline is June 10, 2011. Only shortlisted persons will be contacted. Enquiries 08034794971.

WE ARE LOOKING FOR YOUNG TALENTED MUSIC PRODUCERS TO OVERSEE FOR OUR FULLY EQUIPPED DIGITAL STUDIO IN IKEJA.

THE SELECTED PRODUCER(S) WILL BE GIVEN MAXIMUM SUPPORT TO MAKE THE STUDIO HIGHLY POPULAR AND PROFITABLE.

INTERESTED PRODUCERS SHOULD CALL 08034794971 OR 08186761208.

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Hi Ade,
Thanks for your response.
Just sent you a mail.
Cheers.

Hi sent you a mail last week but got no reply.
Great work you are doing on NL. We are considering 2 possible purchase options from a Range rover 04 and Jaguar S type or Benz E class 03 models. Again, someone is telling us that Buying a Jaguar beyond 4 years is not advisable . How true is that? And kindly enlighten me on why delivery takes 2 days after payment. Tnx.

Hi Folks,

Can we get an authoritative list of the Newspapers people read most in Nigeria?

I was thinking this way:
Sun
Punch
Guardian
Thisday
Vanguard
Tribune

I know I'm a bit wrong but I am particular about the top 3. Want to make some ad decisions.

@Moderator,
Please why are you deleting my recent posts? You could at least give me an explaination. Thank you.

on facebook http://www.facebook.com/board.php?status=256&uid=184280324940#/pages/The-PATHFINDER/184280324940

THE PATHFINDER is the first enterprise Reality TV show that is designed to assist women entrepreneurs with smart business ideas with the capital they require to start their dream business.
During THE PATHFINDER series, ELEVEN women contestants of all ages and from all walks of life will compete for 13 fast-paced weeks in the full glare of a global Television audience for exciting prizes that will include the eventual funding of their dream business .

All selected eleven finalists will win free business wardrobes, contemporary laptops, Blackberry phones, and mouth watering salaries; with the three top entrepreneurs sharing between themselves, a whopping TEN MILLION NAIRA in free startup capital, and the star prize winner additionally driving away in a brand new SUV.

Few experiences can match the thrill and intensity of competing head-to-head for THE PATHFINDER N5 Million startup capital Grand prize, and the excitement obtainable in the aggressively and intellectually competitive environment, where 11 determined Ladies will be pitched together to ruthlessly compete to realize their life-defining dreams.

In the end, it will come down to business smarts vs. book smarts. And only one intelligent, smart, and gutsy woman entrepreneur can prevail as THE PATHFINDER!

from the website http://www.thepathfindertv.com/theshow.php

Hello People,
I am a newbie in programming and of particular interest to me is PHP but the more I read about it the more confused it becomes so I decided to major on web design.

I recently got a job that includes a form page that will post the form datas to email. Now my prob is I dont know hot to go about the php code for form to email. I was wondering if you or any good person can help me with the code in the right place.

The email to forward the datas is : registration@thepathfinder.com. I am attaching the form page here for anyone to look at and make an input.

I will really appreciate any useful insight here.

@Poster,
Your name alone tells me the heartache your folks'd be going thru. For starters, that doesn't sound like you r gonna add to the lil number of intelligent babes around.

Second, how many years have you spent in "school" sef?
And becos am moved to with compassion, I will give you this invaluable advice: A.I.D.S no dey show for face!

Please prove your enemies wrong that you actually have a goal in life!

Infact, I no believe say some guys go just dey here dey talk height. Dumb asses.

Am working hard to make me enough "pepper". Am "short" (5.4). If a girl says she doesnt like me, I dont like her back. Kini big deal. Plenty fish for water.

Stop wasting time and go find something to do.
Work!
Get money!!
And more Money!!

Then go buy one carton of viagra (since na girl be d only rizn y u wan tall) .

Make una stay here dey talk height and M.I and co dey carry dem so call tall girls (and na d same stupid girls dey here dey talk nonsense).MUGUS!

Something like a new TV game-show being shot around Maryland yesterday. Any idea about it or who is behind it?

THE PRODUCERS OF A NEW TV SHOW SCHEDULED FOR LAUNCH BY THE END OF OF THIS MONTH IS RECRUITING AND AUDITIONING FOR THE FOLOWING POSITIONS:

1. PRESENTER

AN EXCEPTIONALLY BRILLIANT AND WITTY MALE PRESENTER IS NEEDED FOR A TV SHOW.

THE IDEAL PRESENTER MUST BE ORIGINAL, GOOD LOOKING, AND EXHIBIT AN ENERGETIC AND LIVELY PERSONALITY WITH A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR. HE MUST BE ABLE TO THINK ON HIS FEET AND BE ABLE TO IMPROVISE DIALOGUE AND ESTABLISH A CONNECTION WITH VIEWERS USING ANY GIVEN SITUATION.

CANDIDATES SHOULD NOT BE MORE THAN 35 YEARS OLD.

THE JOB BENEFITS INCLUDES: COMPETITIVE WEEKLY SALARY, TRAVELLING PERKS AND ALLOWANCES, TV STAR CELEBRITY STATUS AND THE OPPORTUNITY OF WORKING WITH NOTABLE MEDIA PERSONALITIES.

CANDIDATES MUST BE PREPARED TO TRAVEL AT SHORT NOTICE WITHIN THE SOUTH-WEST.




2. INTERIOR DESIGNER (FEMALE)

AN EXPERIENCED AND IMAGINATIVE FEMALE INTERIOR DESIGNER IS NEEDED FOR A TV PROJECT.

THE IDEAL CANDIDATE MUST HAVE AT LEAST 4 YEARS HANDS ON EXPERIENCE WITH VERIFIABLE EVIDENCE. GRADUATES ARE PREFERRED BUT LESSER QUALIFICATIONS WITH OUTSTANDING EXPERIENCES WILL BE GIVEN PRIORITY.

CANDIDATES MUST BE ELOQUENT AND FLUENT IN ENGLISH AND POSSESS A CONFIDENT AND CHARISMATIC PERSONALITY WITH A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR.

CANDIDATES SHOULD BE PHOTOGENIC AND CAMERA FRIENDLY AND NOT MORE THAN 35 YEARS OLD.

THE JOB BENEFITS INCLUDES: COMPETITIVE WEEKLY SALARY, TRAVELING PERKS AND ALLOWANCES, A PROFESSIONAL PROFILING INCLUDING A PERSONALIZED WORLD CLASS WEBSITE AND BUSINESS CARDS, TV STAR CELEBRITY STATUS AND THE OPPORTUNITY OF WORKING WITH NOTABLE MEDIA PERSONALITIES.

CANDIDATES MUST BE PREPARED TO WORK AND DELIVER UNDER TIGHT DEADLINES AND READY TO TRAVEL AT SHORT NOTICE WITHIN THE SOUTH-WEST.

Sorry, the Mercedes should be S500
Please reply ASAP

Thanks.

Babeisme,
Hope business is going great for you.
Please, I'd like you to give me cost details of the following cars (shipping and clearing inclusive):

1. 2004 Mercedes Benz E-class

2[b]. 2004 Jaguar X-type[/b]

Please I'd like you to treat as urgent. Reach me through: inifriendslink@yahoo.com. Am in Lagos.

Please I am trusting you'd get me something neat and top on there class.

Waiting for your reply.

Been Impressed with the quality of editing and graphics on the program.
Can anyone help with the address of the studio or the contacts of the Editor/Graphics guy?
Thanks.

Got these in my email today and they really ticked me off. Hope you find them as amusing as i did. Enjoy!

Identity Crisis

Late one night at the insane asylum, an inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

A voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"



Stutter

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says,

"DDDDDoc, I've bbbeen stut-stuttterrrering for Ye-yeears, and IIII'm tired of it. Ca-ca-caan yoooou hellllp me?"

The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on."

So he examines him, and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is."

The guy asks, "We-we-well wwwhat is it, dddoc?

The doctor replies, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords."

The guy asks, "Wwwhaat ca-can we dddo?"

The doctor says, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one."

The guy replies, "DDDDDoooo it!"

The guy has the operation and three weeks later, he comes back into the doctor's office and says,

"Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't like it anymore. She liked it better with my long one. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back on."

The doctor says, "NNNNope a ddddeal's aaa dddddeal!!!



Letter Home From School

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, Your $on.

Reply from dad,

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad



You Probably Wouldn't Want to Hear This,

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

If you look out of the window on the port, or left, side of the aircraft you will see that the inner engine is on fire just below the fuel tanks in the wing. If you look out at the starboard, or right, wing you will observe that a widening crack has developed at the wing root, making it unlikely that the wing will remain attached to the fuselage.

If you look down at the surface of the sea over which the aircraft is flying, you will notice a small orange dot. This is a life-raft. In it are your co-pilot, your flight engineer and myself.

This has been a recorded announcement."



A Lesson From Dad,

A young man comes home and says "Dad, just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car."

Father replies, "O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we'll see."

Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?"

Father replies, "That's all true, but son you didn't cut your hair."

Son says, "But, dad, Jesus had long hair."

Father replies, "Yes, son, you're perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went."

Hi Good people,
Anybody that knows the address should help me by posting it here. Their website is of no help.
Thanks.

@poster
Guy, U don Knock my job! Me and the Idiot have exchanged about 3 mails so far with shim replying with exactly the template you posted above. Me I been wan tell am say make shim arrange me small cash say I go arrange house for am here for naija but as you come post this thing, na him i go check my inbox today come see say shim don vamoose! Mugu wan guy Socrates!

Thanks a lot 377. That was helpful. We were actually having an argument about it.

Good people,
Try as much as I can, I can seem to revisit pages I've been to with Google's chrome browser. Please if there's any trick to work offline with chrome, please teach me cos aside that, it is my preferred browser.
Thanks.