freeeeme:
The baby was like "Doki, Come..hope no be naija I land oo. If na naija, do my visa before u comot dis room

Lol.... Exactly my mind.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
I'd love to taste the two delicacies.

Mostly dog meat though.

Trust me, the both taste really nice when prepared very well. You will love it I promise you that.

Snake pepper soup things.

wetdick:
Bros ooh, come see eeh, this your story dey make me think so you dey bomb us lie

all the girl wey you don yarn us all of them na from rich family and their skin dey always look like mirror and soft. i dey try my best believe your story with one eye open. i hope say you no be lienus

Lol.... Lienus na sweet name ooo. You suppose know say enough stories full Nollywood. Some na true life stories, some na imagination. Just grab the idea anyhow you choose to and keep yourself entertained.

Lol... Womb watchers

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Lol. How are u different from those runz girls? You even carry vex money incase

Karma will deal with u if you end up marrying one innocenty.

Na wa oooo. Which one be karma for this one naa.

noni14:
which abroad is it chad or togo

Your opinion brov, not mine.

This happened some time ago while I was in Lagos. Myself and a very good friend I call a brother were staying together still on the hustle as young chilling bachelors. We had a beautiful female neighbor that is a air hostess and became our very good friend as she really liked our soft chillings. Sometimes when she is less busy she comes to cook for us, clean the house and chill with us. In the process she and my friend started helping each other out based on room things (you know what I mean) and it was just a casual stuff not a relationship matter.

So one day she came over and said she has a friend who is from a very wealthy family in PH. The girls parents travelled overseas and so the girl flew down to Lagos just to have a quiet personal time. She said the girl was lodged in a hotel somewhere in Ikeja GRA and she needed a correct guy she can just hangout with on a no string attached basis. As for money, that one is not her problem at all she just wants to have good fun before she goes back to PH.

Omo na this our neighbor involved me for the matter. Of course I agreed to go based on the whole description of the girl, I was confident the babe was sharp. So she called the girl and told her I will be coming over. The girl gave her the room number to give me and the name to ask of when I reach there.

Evening time na so I arrange myself to stupor, looking so fresh like fresh fish. As in if you hold me self you go wan chop me lol. Put some cash in my pocket just in case of any shaking, entered my morro (mahin) and zoomed off to the hotel. Omo that was my first time going to that hotel and as I enter I confirm say the babe no be maimai.

As the babe opened the door, oh my God, the babe na confirmed specs. Her body be like mirror, black beauty, so soft looking I no just fit shout. We just flowed so well and had a real good time through out the night. The next early morning I left and later that day again I went to see her as agreed because she was leaving the next day. Trust me it was absolute mad fun. She didn't allow me pay for a single thing even when I offered to pay. As in everything about this girl was just so so cool and I was glad to have fit into her idea of a correct guy which made everything so so interesting.

However sha, she left the next day and though we exchanged numbers, she asked me to promise I wasn't gonna call her. If she happens to come to Lagos again she will call me and that's how its been for years now because we never saw again till I left the country and as for her number I have since deleted it so I don't get tempted to call her.

All I can say when I look back and remember this is "That's how big girls roll for real".

Make una no cause me oooo.

I remember one of my mums friend's daughter I was tripping for back then. We happen to start talking on phone and one day I called her that I was close to her mums boutique and I wanted to see her because she had earlier told me her mum wasn't in the boutique ooo. As I went inside I no know say her mama don show and na she I just first jam. Omo see stammering as I was greeting her. The woman was even shocked to see me so I come lie say my mama been tell me say she dey come her boutique so I be wan come ask my mama for something since I dey around the area, but its like my mum had not reached there you.
The woman just looked at me and smiled (for her mind she go say see this yeye boy wey no sabi lie). The next thing she just called her daughter and said her friend is here to see her. The kind shame wey catch me ehhhh. Anyhow sha I thank God say the mama na suggie woman and me self no resemble warey pikin as she know say my people get mouth too lol.

zomby:


3 million bucks? That’s it? Haba!

That is most of our issues in Nigeria; it is always all about what we can get from every single circumstance or scenario.
Thank God that I am not wired this way...

The water we are going to drink will never flow pass any of us, regardless of the colonel or major general that we meet or miss.

Nigeria will rise again.

That is your own choice brov. Keep waiting for the water you are going to drink that will not flow pass you. Wise men don't wait, they make the move with any opportunity that comes. If something isn't chasing you to keep moving forward, then chase something that will make you move forward.

All this your talk has no head way because I know your type. You form big boy online but in reality, shi shi no dey. No be my fault say me and you no dey reason alike, if you really pass this level the best you would have done was to read as pass quietly. Even quoting me to prove a point best known to you is your headache and not mine. I pray your water go reach your mouth soon as you keep waiting.

CreepyBlackpool:
My crush lived with her abusive uncle.

One day I loosened the bolts on his tyres.

He drove out without noticing.

He had a fatal accident.

My crush went back to her grandma in the village.

Never saw her again.

I was 9 then

Ahhhhh hope you didn't kill the man oooo

CosmicPhoenix:

this is how CORRUPTION starts

Lol....

I remember back then when I was much younger, my mum as a French teacher in a girls govt school use to bring the students exam scripts home and ask us to help her mark and fill the exam booklet.

Sometimes there were some nice names I would just see and in my mind I will say this girl must be a beautiful girl, I will now start dashing her marks lol. There were some that maybe they had low scored an F but their marks were almost close to getting a D, I will just add mark for the person (that's if the name was making sense in my head ooo). Even some with B I will push them to A.

When I look back sometimes and remember those things I just smile. The girls will be there jubilating or forming knowing book, if only they knew that their teacher had a badt guy son like me.

There are so many sha that I have done but let me sit back a hear other peoples gist.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Lol. Yea

Abeg come back to service oooo, we have new position for you as board of directors being that your your performance was exceptional during your years of active service.

zomby:

Bravo to the colonel of Nigerian Army, but not just enough to blow my mind.

I guess, everyone is different...Different background, Different state of mind and Different expectations.
For me, may be meeting Mandela would have been a big deal, but absolutely not meeting a COLONEL or Major general...lol

Eyah that's cool to know. At least through meeting a Colonel of the naija army, I was able to make my first 3 million bucks. Opened some other doors for me and am glad about that. You know were to find Mandela if you need to meet him. A bottle of snipper will lead you to him on a brief

Cool brov... I use gbosa shatter you abeg, you try.

Tottenham, our first draw game since the beginning of the season.

I have not seen him in any movie before and I have never heard his name. Does that mean I don't watch naija movies very well

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
I'm done with online dating. I've retired after many years of active service

you don't mean it? Asin active service...

kowalsky:


You move from major to lt. Col. Not Col.

And you're only subject to that promotional exam when you come in via. SSC DSSC or any of the other short service programs.

True its still same thing am trying to say in terms of the high ranking of a colonel.

Hedonisst:


Lol. Are you sure? As a barrack boy, you should know that after Major is Lt. Colonel, before Colonel.

Yeah still same thing am saying in terms of the rank of a colonel being high.

zomby:


Abeg, Wetin be the level of a young colonel I’m not sure if I clearly understand why anyone should sweat a colonel of the Nigerian Army...

I do not know if any young colonel of the Nigerian Army fit make me feel any how...

Sorry bro!

I guess that is because you know nothing about the military. My own dad retired as a major and didn't get to the rank of a colonel. One of the hardest exams in the military is moving from the rank of a major to a colonel.
In the military regime, the position of state administrators which are governors today were mostly held by those from the rank of colonels except some very few states were they also put some police commissioners. Trust me there is a lot to the Nigeria army than what you see especially in regards to those infantry soldiers who go to fight war.

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
na so craze take they start for you be that. Tell us what is your pain here

Abeg help me ask the guy well. I no understand him own pain.

Shibaraba:

Na so na....Edo pikins we dey get each other backs

Nice one bro

Shibaraba:
Choi!!!!

What if the guy mess you come ask yab am say the mess dey smell...your own don done be that


Same thing happen to me but my own get as e be
I just fly enter for one kain wedding. As I no want make village people know say I dey around I decided not to go home but chill around Ikeja. Na so somehow I enter "the place" for Ikeja

As I just dey chill one guy just enter with all him paddies dey my side for VIP.Them reach like four. Kack near me. As I see say dem no shark after a long time na him I kuku drop one ciroc for their table say make dem dey use am wash system. The guys just laugh say thank you. I come dey form van damme. Based on say na dolapo dey hand I just dey order. Them cancel like 2 ciroc and two cranberry packs. As I dey form don Corleone na him one of them waka comot go outside. See solid babes wey follow am enter. I no know say na the girls dem dey wait for. Na so them start to shell me drinks. Bros I nearly piss for body.
Ace of spades just litter table. They even left some unopened say make I carry dey go. Them pay their bills join my own. Omo see as I humble. When dem.dey waka I don dey jonz na him I say make me sef waka. When I see their moto na him I know say I mess up. Yankee wey I dey na story. These guys are gods. See as Porsche plenty. With one mad motor wey be like batman own.

Them no know when I japa. I disappear like mess. Those kind people na them dey cause depression.

Boss asin I hail you. I should say we made this thread so exciting together because your own experience finish work. You even have more likes that I do so I throw salute to you bro. Front page things just like that. We are too plenty much lol

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
My birthday is far away o. Atleast you've learnt never to underrate anyone.

Lol... I don't underrate people actually, if you know me you will know better. Anyway no matter how far your birthday is, I got your back. Am following you already.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Mods please pity this op and push his thread to FP pls. Atleast peeps can read and laugh

EdoBozz you see how I begged on your behalf and the thread reach FP shey?

Awwwww, you are such a Darling... I was shocked when I came online to it. I will send you a cake on your birthday... Much love dear. Na so person dey take blow oooooo, just like that.

OkaNaUbe:


Crystal Lounge, Wuse?

Yowa...

Shibaraba:
Choi!!!!

What if the guy mess you come ask yab am say the mess dey smell...your own don done be that


Same thing happen to me but my own get as e be
I just fly enter for one kain wedding. As I no want make village people know say I dey around I decided not to go home but chill around Ikeja. Na so somehow I enter "the place" for Ikeja

As I just dey chill one guy just enter with all him paddies dey my side for VIP.Them reach like four. Kack near me. As I see say dem no shark after a long time na him I kuku drop one ciroc for their table say make dem dey use am wash system. The guys just laugh say thank you. I come dey form van damme. Based on say na dolapo dey hand I just dey order. Them cancel like 2 ciroc and two cranberry packs. As I dey form don Corleone na him one of them waka comot go outside. See solid babes wey follow am enter. I no know say na the girls dem dey wait for. Na so them start to shell me drinks. Bros I nearly piss for body.
Ace of spades just litter table. They even left some unopened say make I carry dey go. Them pay their bills join my own. Omo see as I humble. When dem.dey waka I don dey jonz na him I say make me sef waka. When I see their moto na him I know say I mess up. Yankee wey I dey na story. These guys are gods. See as Porsche plenty. With one mad motor wey be like batman own.

Them no know when I japa. I disappear like mess. Those kind people na them dey cause depression.

Lol...

ugobestMusic:


U r a beast....he was talking to atiku as if he is tied to atiku's backside...

Don't be stupid, didn't you see the topic he wrote and that's why I asked him to it if that's not what he was suppose to ask.

Hofbrauhaus:


He is talking about Atiku. If you are not watching the live press conference, its only reasonable you shutup!

Then correct your topic because that is what you asked.

This happened some years back sha when I visited Abuja on one of my trips. I had missed the town a lot so I decided to go on a relaxation trip.

Wayback in Abuja there was one crystal lounge my friends use to take me to and I loved the place so when I visited I really wanted to go there again but this time I just wanted to have my own private chilling alone so I went alone at night about 12am. Because of the way the roads are I actually missed my way so I had to stop at a police checkpoint to explain to them how I missed my way to the club. Abuja police are just too correct. As I was with them their hilux came and I think the two guys in the hilux were doing routine check on all the officers placed in different road blocks so they explained my issue to them omo na so the men on siren tell me to follow them for back. Me self on double trafficator dey follow them till we reach the place. They just made me feel like a VIP as them clear road for me arrange where I will park and they zoomed off.

See me feeling fly, I entered the club and sat on my own, ordered a bottle of moet and was feeding my eyes with the sweet ladies around. Then a guy came and sat close to me and he was on his own as well.
The guy ordered his own drink and was trying to gist with me. Though I was responding but for my mind I was like make this guy just free me abeg. Later he started complaining that non of the ladies there made sense and I was like this guy dey mad sha. Wethin I dey see I like but him eye be like say e no good.
All of a sudden the guy made a call and I knew it was to a girl and after a while about four girls came in and they came to huge him. Trust me, my head burst because truly none of the girls inside the club that day reach those girls. The guy even introduced me as his friend and because we sat close he codedly told me to select anyone I want aside his own that I should worry. The guy started pumping them with drinks, they were dancing with themselves but the guy and I just sat down watching. At a point I just said this one na setup because if I carry any babe there na like 100k she go bill me and I no go pay babe that kind money just to chop. I told the guy I was going to pee and while I was in the toilet the guy came as well and was like it seems I want to leave and I told him not really. There in the toilet he just gave me his complementary card and told me I can call him anytime and he went back in. When I looked at the card, I weak finally. All this while I was sitting with a young colonel of the Nigerian Army from the ministry of defence, Abuja. When I went back in, my loyalty change immediately.