Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,152,868 members, 7,817,563 topics. Date: Saturday, 04 May 2024 at 02:28 PM |
Nairaland Forum / ElementG's Profile / ElementG's Posts
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (of 119 pages)
Entertainment / “don Jazzy Is Really Hot,the Kind I Want In Bed”- Maheeda by ElementG(m): 10:42am On Oct 15, 2013 |
Lol dis gurl is really sumfin else... gentle guy like don jazzy ehn http://ojoisaac..com/2013/10/don-jazzy-is-really-hotthe-kind-i-want.html |
Entertainment / My Husband Once Told Me I Didn't Kiss A Man Well In A Movie- Actress, Mercy Aigb by ElementG(m): 10:31am On Oct 15, 2013 |
Lol d man sef try... if i hear say i do dah kind thing http://ojoisaac..com/2013/10/my-husband-once-told-me-i-didnt-kiss.html |
Nairaland / General / Maheeda (Bleep Queen) Showsoff Her Pretty Daughter & Husband by ElementG(m): 10:59am On Oct 14, 2013 |
The pretty bad naughty girl is responsible afterall http://ojoisaac..com/2013/10/maheeda-showsoff-her-pretty-daughter.html |
Nairaland / General / Beverly Osu-i Dream Of Establishing A Church One Day by ElementG(m): 10:42am On Oct 14, 2013 |
Nairaland / General / Fake NYSC Members Arrested By ICPC by ElementG(m): 10:24am On Oct 14, 2013 |
Lwkmd! Na by force to serve Nigeria ooo http://ojoisaac..com/2013/10/fake-nysc-members-arrested-by-icpc.html |
Nairaland / General / “we Will Be The Winners In Nigeria, We Have To Go To Brazil” by ElementG(m): 9:48am On Oct 14, 2013 |
An interview with stephen keshi after yesterday's victory http://ojoisaac..com/2013/10/we-will-be-winners-in-nigeria-we-have.html |
Celebrities / PHOTOS: Actress, Mercy Johnson Shares Family Photo by ElementG(m): 9:39am On Oct 14, 2013 |
The sexy lady felt so happy and shared her family pics http://ojoisaac..com/2013/10/photos-actress-mercy-johnson-shares_14.html |
Celebrities / 'frank Edoho And I Should Never Have Gotten Married' - Katherine Obiang by ElementG(m): 7:04pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
Shocking!!! What would have happened... http://ojoisaac..com/2013/10/frank-edoho-and-i-should-never-have.html |
Nairaland / General / ASUU Made Me Take Part In Project Fame - Project Fame Winner, Olawale Ojo by ElementG(m): 5:23pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
See how Nigeria turn shit to perfume for this guy!!! Your life don better jare... tnx to ASUU http://ojoisaac..com/2013/10/ASUU-made-me-take-part-in-project-fame.html |
Nairaland / General / PHOTO: Check Out Afrocandy In Her Underwear by ElementG(m): 5:15pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
Really crazy!!! Nawa for dis girl ehn http://ojoisaac..com/2013/10/photo-check-out-afrocandy-in-her.html |
Jokes Etc / Re: Rotflmao! by ElementG(m): 11:28am On Aug 19, 2013 |
Omo, police don upgrade oOh, dis na d call center numba 112… There was a robbery in my neighbour’s house and I called them… next thing I heard was . Welcome to Nigeria Police Emergency Center.. for English press. 1, for Igbo press 2, for Yoruba press 3. Then I pressed 1… then another voice came up….For car accident press 1, for armed robbery press 2, for boko haram please hang up…. Den I pressed 2, anoda voice came up…. If they’re with knives press 1, pistols press 2, AK 47 press 3, machine guns press4, bomb press 5, all of the above press 6… Then i checked and saw theywere with all of them then I pressed 6… anoda voice came up sayin…. Hmmmm…! My brother, if ur brother dey police u go gree make im come?.,.;.;’,'YEY |
Jokes Etc / Re: Rotflmao! by ElementG(m): 11:19am On Aug 19, 2013 |
Akpors has been admiring his neighbor’s wife. The neighbor’s wife always gives him this seductive smile whenever they greet each other. Akpors didn’t know how T̶̲̥̅Ơ̴͡ approach the lady to tell her of his desires … because she’s married. So, one day the lady herself approached Akpors alone in his apartment. AKPORS: Hi. LADY: Hi. AKPORS: Is everything alright? … LADY: Yes. Just need little help from you (Smiling seductively). AKPORS: Wow! Anything for the angel. LADY: I…I…I…just don’t know how to say this. I’ll be so ashamed ƒ myself if I ask and you say no. AKPORS: Oh my lady. you don’t have to. I am ready to do anything for you. LADY: You know, it’s been over 3 weeks since my husband travelled… AKPORS: Yes! Yes! Yes! LADY: And even when he’s around, he has some… (pause for a while) he has some disabilities… AKPORS: Oh poor you… You must have been going through hell! LADY: I know you’ll be stronger than him… AKPORS: Sure. LADY: Can you help me? AKPORS: Wow! Now? Sure, I’m ready if you are ready. LADY: Oh thanks goodness! that’s why I came to you. Can you help me carry our deep freezer from our kitchen to the next street for repairs? |
Jokes Etc / Re: Rotflmao! by ElementG(m): 11:18am On Aug 19, 2013 |
Akpors gets into a pharmacy & says 2 d pharmacist, “Hello, could u give me condom? I’m going 2 my girlfriend’s place 4 dinner & I think I mayb in with a chance!” D pharmacist gives him d condom & as he was going out he returns & says,”Give me another condom because my girlfriend’s sister is very cute too, she always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me & I think I might strike a luck there too. “D pharmacist gives him a second condom& as he was leaving, again he turns back & says “Give me one more condom because my girlfriend’s mom is still pretty cute & when she sees me she always makes eye contact & since she invited me 4 dinner I think she is expecting me 2 make a move. During dinner, Akpors sat with his girlfriend on d left ,d sister on his right & d mum facing him. When d girlfriend’s Dad walks in, Akpors lowers his head & starts d dinner prayer.”Dear Lord, bless this dinner & thank u 4 all u’v given us” 10minutes after, Akpors was still praying “Thank u Lord 4 ur kindness.” Another Ten minutes gone by & he is still praying, keeping his head down, very close 2 d table. They all looked at each other surprised, & his girlfriend was even more surprised than others. She gets close to him & whispered, “I didn’t know u’r so religious. “Akpors replies, “I never knew ur dad was a pharmacist!”. 1 Like |
Jokes Etc / Re: Rotflmao! by ElementG(m): 11:12am On Aug 19, 2013 |
BOY: Baibe, i know i did u wrong but i just ask 4 ur forgiveness…. GAL:[message seen] 3minutes ago. BOY: Hunnie, please just forgive me… am a human being and am not perfect neither are you… GAL:[message seen] 2minutes ago. BOY: U remember insulting me the other day? … Did i not forgive u swits? GAL:[message seen] 2minutes ago. BOY: Hunnie please, dont do this to me … i love u and i dont wanna luz u…. GAL:[message seen] 3minutes ago. BOY: Listen baibe, i have just received my salary and i have put aside 500,000/- just to go out with u, do some shopping, go to a big hotel and just have a nice time to make it up to you…. are u gonna join me hun? GAL: Woow! Thats awesome hunnie, where should i find u baibe? i cant wait to make up with u my love BOY:[message seen]just a minute ago. GAL: Darling are u still there? BOY:[message seen]2minutes ago. She don see mugu na 1 Like |
Jokes Etc / Re: Rotflmao! by ElementG(m): 11:08am On Aug 19, 2013 |
Akpors sits next to a girl on a table in a hotel Akpors: hello madam? Lady: what is it? Akpors: sorry madam , just wanted to ask what the time is on your watch? Lady: ehee …now you think my watch is used as a public clock huh? Go away and stop wasting my time Akpors: but madam Lady: shut up!!! Akpors takes out his Apple phone and makes call Akpors: hello John I just settled from Washington D.C can you please tell me what time it is right now so that I set my clock to the local time since it still reads American time? *she listens* Ok, thank you and today don’t forget to come for the galaxy tablet that you requested * she listens* Since my girl is still in America bring me a beautiful girl to spend my money with tonight Ok bye Lady: sir the time is …. Akpors: shut up !!!!! |
Jokes Etc / Rotflmao! by ElementG(m): 11:05am On Aug 19, 2013 |
I’m tired of this Dettol adverts, children now believe there are Germs everywhere. My 5yr old cousin goes around with a Dettol pet can in his pocket. He sprinkles his friends before playing with them even his books before reading. This morning my rice tasted awful, I took a few spoons before I realized my cousin had poured Dettol in my food to kill germs.
|
Jokes Etc / Re: Only For The Matured Minds by ElementG(m): 11:07am On Dec 28, 2012 |
woah lol.. just looked at it well.. its actually 13 .. serzly dat thing wan run me down sha |
Jokes Etc / Re: Girls Vs Boys,Ladies Vs Gentlemen(If i hear),Male Vs Female, XD!!! by ElementG(m): 2:48pm On Dec 27, 2012 |
berylLOL: goan sleep dear.dont worry.. u'll get a very HARDWORKING man |
Jokes Etc / Re: Girls Vs Boys,Ladies Vs Gentlemen(If i hear),Male Vs Female, XD!!! by ElementG(m): 2:47pm On Dec 27, 2012 |
lol shoulda even say goat vs chicken?
|
Jokes Etc / Girls Vs Boys,Ladies Vs Gentlemen(If i hear),Male Vs Female, XD!!! by ElementG(m): 2:33pm On Dec 27, 2012 |
Dont mind the topic.. welcome to my end of the year thread... been a while since i made a post on d board.. Imagine OLD MAN LIKE ME!! well the lil talk on ground now is wat we term "ta si"... ur free to pick on whoever u wanna pick on, ironical abuses infact are wonderfully welcomed (meaning u can yab "OLD MAN LIKE ME" but wait a minute, if i'm old, wat will we say of women like efemena, lol (Dont tell her!!) XD!! But on general gist sef.. ever noticed some thing about this gurls sef.. THEY ALL WANT HARDWORKING MEN BUT WONT ANSWER WHEN BRICKLAYERS CALL THEM!!! |
Jokes Etc / Re: Only For The Matured Minds by ElementG(m): 2:27pm On Dec 27, 2012 |
lol 12 triangles now.. nice one jo @poster |
Jokes Etc / Re: New JAMB Sitting Arrangement by ElementG(m): 12:11am On Dec 25, 2012 |
lol... e don miss road na |
Literature / Re: *~Efemena-xy Voted Literature/Writing Poster Of The Year *~ Congratulations by ElementG(m): 3:45pm On Dec 22, 2012 |
lol see mumu poll sha.. Efemena is the boss... cant u guys hear the efizzy added to it "xy".. that is meant for the brilliant chaps jor |
Jokes Etc / Re: Offtopic "Bar Joint" For Jokers (season II) by ElementG(m): 3:43pm On Dec 22, 2012 |
hugs her and gives her a peck on the cheeks lol well i'm good.. at least i can fry akara and not burn it hey efe.. ahan, y not.. which biro ink do u want make i take sign am seff |
Jokes Etc / Re: Offtopic "Bar Joint" For Jokers (season II) by ElementG(m): 1:53pm On Dec 22, 2012 |
see dis bebe sha... lol who else get compound name for here |
Jokes Etc / All This Crazy Fones With Their Mad Keypads by ElementG(m): 12:00pm On Dec 22, 2012 |
i dont know if this has happened to any body.. but really i'm getting pissed off with all these mad fones of today, well thank God that qwerty pad as come to save all of us... Anyway let me share my personal experience with you guys... i wanted to type "even if you did, i dont care" guess what came out "even if you die, i dont care" also, wanted to type lol to a white pal, and kok came out... and the idiot friend read it as c.ock.. IMAGINE!!! CRAZIEST SELF.. i wanted to set my stat as "wow! i just saw something nice, brb".. and imagine!!! "wow, i just saw something nice BRA!!!" Seriously, i dey vex seff !! |
Jokes Etc / Re: Offtopic "Bar Joint" For Jokers (season II) by ElementG(m): 11:54am On Dec 22, 2012 |
Efemena_xy: Lol Efemena the xy.. the first before kyle xy... oga ooo... so ur still rocking that bookish joint.. ur a big customer oo.. i sure say u self don get your own private corner for there |
Jokes Etc / New JAMB Sitting Arrangement by ElementG(m): 11:50am On Dec 22, 2012 |
I'm sure u would agree that this is madness na!!!
|
Jokes Etc / Omo Na Die! by ElementG(m): 9:07pm On Aug 21, 2012 |
Husband & wife were arguing on who is d most coward & scared between them. After a long argument, they decided to ask their 2 kids who they think was d most coward & scared between them. The first kid says: dad is d most coward cos, 1:"he's scared of women: whenever he sees a beautiful lady in town, he closes his one eye (i.e winks at d lady)... Wife realising d meaning was very angry with her husband".. The second kid goes "dat is nothing.. Mummy is so scared to sleep alone when dad works night shifts, mummy sleeps with the man next door, sometimes she invites the gardener or uncle kingsley to sleep with her. Sometimes uncle mayowa d youth corper, after leaving ur room will even escort her to the bathroom & bath with her just because she's scared 1 Like |
Jokes Etc / Re: Picture Of An Okada Carrying Another Okada(More pix) by ElementG(m): 6:19pm On Jul 22, 2012 |
Lol crazy tinz dah 9ja peepz do... Dem go soon self carry cow untop bike... I still dey wait till when I go see okada wey dey tow trailer commot 4 pott hole |
Jokes Etc / Re: Right Answers To Mumu Questions by ElementG(m): 8:07am On Jul 22, 2012 |
Nice one @ poster.. Really got me ROTFLMAO booqee: Too stale and old.seriously, girl u dnt av a lyf... I think ur guts are ruined nd its y there aint no thread started by ya.. Bad belle shit lyk u always givin bad comments lyk one dog dat was given chloroquine... Got nothing gud to say, shut up, read, nd pass by instead of dropping dat useless watery crap u call saliva.. Na even ur type dem dey give those kind craze replies.. ODE |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (of 119 pages)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 46 |