₦airaland Forum

WAT!!!! DID U JUST CALL DAT JOKE NICE!!!!!!!!!!!! ,

U PUT CHEWING GUM FOR EYES!!!!

*let me guess, ur just saying dat for him not to feel bad*

no offence

wetin concern me with dis useless country, for d past 50 years wey naija don dey celebrate bday, people don dey follow dem do am but tell me, which cake has d stupid country shared for us (understand wat i mean?)

d e-wedding or d country's birthday

where she dey self

since when u just dey ask dat one, man don strong kampe before d last 3 weeks self, anyway how ur efe

Oh GOSH, will u guys just stop posting dis old, stale, lame, dull, sick, boring, time wasting, soul wasting, eye liquid wasting, face wrinkling, lips bending (actually in a sad manner *shakes his hyead in pity*), bone crunching JOKE

*finally breathes down* anyway u try sha

u better do before heaven reject u

man i cant believe am falling in love,

@poster, dat granny is soo swaggerlicious *hmm, hmmmm, licking his lips*

thanks for d welcome and hey wat do u mean by refreshed and stronger

*dont tell me i was getting lame and stale d other time*

na hot water go burn dat ur ugly throat

thanks bro

i cant believe my demonic brother just called me dat

The Bear and Rabbit
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much and one day, whilst they were walking through the woods they came across a golden frog. The frog turned to them and said: "Ooh, I don't often meet anyone in these parts." They were amazed that the frog had talked to them.

The golden frog admitted: "Mind you, when I do meet someone I always give them six wishes. You can have three wishes each in this case.

Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.

Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.

Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.

The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.

Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said: "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!

Hard To Handle
This guy goes into a hore house and gives the lady at the front desk $500 and tells her that he wants a woman that can handle him.

She replies, go down the hall and its the second door on the right.

He does and just as they get started she starts screaming from the pain. He then marches back to the front desk and tell the woman that he said he wanted a woman that could handle him.

She says, ok go down the hall and its the third door on the left.

He does and once again the woman starts screaming just as they get started. Then he goes back to the front desk and she says I know I know you want a women that can handle you.

She says, ok ok this time go all the way down the hall and down the stairs, there won't be any lights so just feel around til you hit something wet and stick it in.

He does this and just as they get started nothing happens there isn't any screaming. Well he thinks, finally, this could work.

As he gets into it he shouts "Oh yea, talk to me baby".

She replies "MOOOOOO"!

hey bro, which one be d joke insult na, no let make we start dat one ooo, anyway how body na, longest time ooo

@stud
guy upon how i dey try follow u play reach, na so ur head strong like akpu wey dem sun dry, it get as it be for u oooo

if na frustrate u wan do for my own side, abeg pack ur wahala go jump enter canal cos i no get ur time 1 bit

@my ido,
my ndidiamaka, hw are u, i don miss u ooo no be small, *whispers to her, i saw hw u handled dat demon possessed freak, i knw say u go always trust me any day, take care ok, i luv ya *

luv ya toooo

so good day guys, its good to be back on nland

and oh before i forget, happy independence day

Thanks alot my darling

hey my ido, i av missed u soo much

The Aliens
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it.

"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pumps of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pumps haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!"

The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired.

There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap rather abruptly. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"

The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy, when a guy has a p.enis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, you don't mess with him."

The Angry Genie

One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp.

Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."

So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.

For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss' house appeared two of each car.

Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully", and so the man replied, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney, "

hehehe, i no be devil ooo

A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets.

"Who's the other ticket for?" the ticket girl asked.

"For my pet chicken." He said, pointing to the bird.

"I'm sorry," the girl tells him, "but we don't allow animals in the theater."

The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down.

The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark to unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out.

The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Amanda and whispered, "Amanda! This man next to me just unzipped his pants!"

Amanda replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Just ignore him. If you've seen one, you've seen them all."

The woman whispered back, "I know, I know, but this one's eating my popcorn!"

oh puhleeze, efe dont downgrade me jor,

no worry, d day dat u will see me in anger form still dey come

lets live d jolly life for now

God forbid evil thing for my enemy, even stud no go wan use nepa poll pick im teeth na

i guess it aint funny enough, lets just say am losing my touch

u self knw say i be gentle bobo,

i no dey violent (only when i get too pushed sha)

stud i no know wetin i do wey i take offend u ooo,

my brother y u dey treat me like dis na

The Hypnotist Accident

The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased.

A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town's people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting,  "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch, "

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly the hypnotist's fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor,

"shiit!!!" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the town hall.

Guys take am easy wit me na

@stud, my guy, wetin i do u na, oya abeg no vex

@tanimz
of course, am sure they missed me na, just dat missing doesnt make my presence so i miss them whenever am not around

well got to go girl, see ya later

hey guys,
@tanimz no mind me jor, just dat its been long since i saw my peeps on nland

anyway i av to go now, see ya later guys