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Money! What can we learn from our sisters in Nigeria?

I was searching the web for different budgeting tools as I like to plan and prepare for the future of my family like all good wives and mothers. I found it quite interesting to see one posted by LagosMums.com.

This is the first of a series of threads where we are going to run through some of the common sources of income and expenses in Nigeria and see what we can learn from them...For the rest of this article click here:

http://realnaijwife..co.uk/2012/10/money-what-can-we-learn-from-our.html#links

Omoboy: I hope this is not a way of recruiting London Nigerian housewives as lesbians.

Na wa for u o!

Rossikk: Una get time o.

You wey post here nko? No be time u take read and time u take post! Actually most wives and mothers get less time than others that's why this blog should help consolidate items into one area that are of interest to them!

Na wa for some men on this forum who are just posting for the sake of posting something! Some of the comments? As if I did not post this in the family section of Narialand! I tire

[size=14pt]Anyways...[/size]
Efemena_xy
chaircover
Ivynwa
QueenAw
omogemi
9ja4us
naijababe
survey respondents
and others I may have mistakenly missed out

[size=18pt]Thank you [/size]all for your contributions you have really helped no doubt. So far I have had 368 views and it is because of all of you:
Here is the breakdown of pageviews:

United Kingdom - 197
Nigeria - 84
United States - 40
Germany - 17
Canada - 10
Netherlands - 6
France - 5
United Arab Emirates - 3
Spain - 3
Ghana - 3


Please join the blog by becoming a member and/or follower!

I need more of your input and I am sure the readers would love to hear from you, they are currently viewing as they are interested in the title and proposed content but the content still needs bulking to thrill and delight them! Don't worry this is not the final format/layout of the blog. It is evolving as I get your inputs. It seems we have a lot followers in the USA and Nigeria so would be happy to hear from you too:
http://realnaijwife..co.uk/p/across-atlantic.html

Thanks

Ella

Anyone interested in writing please email me or fill in the survey and don't forget your contact details with your name:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/59Z5C2Y

This will really help me focus the blog and any upcoming events.

Of course [size=16pt]Christmas [/size]is coming up and I know in UK celebrations are nothing like as elevating and unifying as those in Naija. One thing I have been thinking is how to incorporate some unity into a celebration in the UK. Not on Christmas day of course as it would be good to be with your family or visiting personal fam/friends at this time but in the days before/after perhaps. Who is game for organising this social. It could be small at first as obviously still trying to get things in order.

Some concepts for now:
- Every family bring a dish and a label and photo to be taken!? (General food and drinks provided by event organiser)
- Parents to get kids to start a Christmas youth committee to organise entertainment (singing, dancing, comedy, DJ)
- Academic/intellectual competitions to be organised to encourage kids to be successful in school with prizes to be won like electronics/money
- Fashion shows
- Kiddie corner with fun, games and supervision to give adults alone time if required at some pint during the event i.e. like for one hour
- Auctions for charity (after people have made donations of food, artwork, cakes, old toys, books etc)

All or none of these ideas could be used and the event itself probably wont happen given the time constraints but these are some of the ideas I envisage for the future which will be big socials and fundraisers. It would be nice for it to be as relaxing as possible though. There will also be smaller get togethers more regularly. I NEED HELP PEOPLE! Please before I faint I'm getting overexcited, I need an intervention! lol.

omogemi: Its a good concept. . Is it also open to nigerian women not living in UK? Also i ll lyk u to include fundraising for charities: children with special needs, motherless homes, old peoples home, people living with Hiv/AIDS e.t.c. . . It can be done once or twice a year. . .that is when u v kickd off after some years nt imm. . Just take it a step @ a tym n God ll c u thru.

Hi my dear, primarily based for those in the UK as there are already sites like Lagosmums.com. However, I believe we are all sisters and personally believe we could benefit from such friendships i.e. lets say a member in UK visits Nigeria or relocates permanently then they would already know a lot about where they are going or could meet up with those in Nigeria and of course vice versa. So I would definitely be for adding functionality for those based in Nigeria to see the flip of the coin.

Regarding charities; I have already said I am all for orphanages/motherless homes. This is one of my dreams to be able to help such children in a really powerful way and would be interested in suitable charities that all our members would love to fundraise for so yes I'm down with that sister! God will see US through! Amen

QueenAw: Ella, nice concept. You should have a section for your married Nigeria based sisters too! At least I can write/contribute from Lagos Nigeria. & we visit the u.k at least once a yr-during the summer. We could all hook up then. & when you guys come to Nigeria too, you have sisters to host you.. Give it a thought dear. X

Yes we could have summer and Christmas events perhaps?? I think those are frequent times people come down right? I will add this in, I think it is of value and really would like there to be a connection.

InvertedHammer:


SOunds like a good idea...I hope you will not turn into militant feminists!

Lol. No in fact I hope the opposite is true. We would help each other by reaffirming each others value as wives and mothers and would assist each other in the tools necessary to carry this out, from cooking, to budgeting, to home tuition, to playdates with children and more. It is also just a way to make friends with other Nigerian mums in the UK!

pssword: How about 46+ women are there too old?

This is really just a description of the type of people I would think have interest in this site and the social activities. If it was a country club someday definitely not there would be no minimum or maximum age, but for following blogs, going out etc I felt there should be a target group and thus 25 - 45 was chosen.

But just like I have said this blog is for you and by you. In real life I find it sometimes even easier to converse with people in their fourties and fifties namely my sisters in law and cousins so I personally would love them to be involved, do you think it would be the same market for the blog and social activities for under 45's and over 45's? If so what age should we start and stop at or should there be any age mentioned at all? What are the sort of things we could share with each other?

Your opinions please?

9ja4us: Hi,

My candid advice is to take this one step at a time.
Don't do too many features... most individuals prefer to focus when they are on a website and gain from content.
Than having a lot of pages that will read... Under construction.

My cents!

Good job anyway.

Yes I think your right. The blog posted is actually under construction. I had 2 options:

1) Make my own blog following my own interests and opinions and being one page - posting whatever I like from time to time .
2) Creating a sort of social forum where wives and mothers in the UK of Nigerian heritage could come together and share opinions and interests and meet up through social activities also.

I chose the latter. Unfortunately, this means a whole lot more work and organizing and coordinating is needed. But I am happy to do so as I think the end result will be great. It means I am not deciding the content on my own but I am heavily involving all of you so that it is something you liek and appreciate because it was for you and by you. There are some pages up now that are just things I thought of at the time and decided to share so that something would be there but it is in the concept stage to say the least! lol.

So please bear with me!!!

naijababe:


Rocking idea. Any plans to do anything up in Scotland

Can help with travel.

I am based in south east England (London/Essex). But this is for the whole UK, so yes please!!!

Tiger mother or best friend? Which parenting style do think is best?

I would definitely watch this I talked about it on my thread here:
https://www.nairaland.com/1064533/real-nigerian-housewives-united-kingdom

If any of you guys can run this show I will be glued to the screen!

Theatre Review

[img]http://www.theatreticketsdirect.co.uk/image/SHREK%20TTD.jpg/ShowsImage/Custom/500/250[/img]
Shrek the musical!! This actually looks quite good for families.

Check the review here:
http://realnaijwife..co.uk/2012/10/shrek-musical.html

Comment here on using this as a social:
http://realnaijwife..co.uk/p/meet-upssocials.html

Ok still working on this...at least the superficial aspect:

http://realnaijwife..co.uk/

Regarding a discussion about country clubs, lion clubs etc. I found the Lagos Country Club site which looks interesting:
http://www.lagoscountryclub.net/

[size=16pt]Hey look what we can achieve when we believe in educating our kids:[/size]

Young, Gifted & Black Series

By Taki S. Raton

Pictured above on the right is Anne-Marie Imafidon and to the left are 9-year-old twins Paula and Peter.

She is a proud sibling in what is known in England as “The First Family of Education.” A September 2011 edition of “Higher Education Digest” describes her as a “serial world record breaker.”

She is Young, Gifted, & Black and her name is Anne-Marie Imafidon. She would remain at Oxford where she began her undergrad degree program in 2005 having alread studied mathematics at the university level since 13. She began her studies on the Masters level at the age of 17.

At the age of 10 she passed two high school diploma exams in Mathematics and in Information Technology. At the age of 11, she became the youngest person ever in Britain to pass Advance College Level Computing, and at 12, she received an Oxford Scholarship. At the age of 13 in 2003, she was granted a British scholarship to study Mathematics at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland ...

For the link and the rest of the story please see:
http://realnaijwife..co.uk/2012/10/britains-brainiest-family-are-nigerians.html

Phew. Constantly updating and including all your suggestions so thank you very much!

http://realnaijwife..co.uk/p/childrens-education.html

Efemena, when you are ready please write about whatever you are passionate about first. In fact to help put things in perspective I would like to do a spot light on yourself and other writers. Where you tell us a little about yourself, interests/passions and family. Is this okay? It is not a necessity but may help the reader connect with you better. Will do mine by the end of the week whilst adding in articles.

I personally have more expertise on and will be writing on:
~ Primary Education
~ Secondary Education
~ Further Education
~ Home Education
~ Gifted and Talented
~ Homework Corner

But in each of the categories more than one writer would be great. You can submit any articles either by:
- emailing me at ellaoku@gmail.com/director@degreeangel.co.uk
- posting on the blog
- posting on this Nairaland thread

Whichever suits you all really!

Efemena_xy:

I know a bit and wouldn't mind contributing my experiences from time to time - but I must warn you, I'm no expert though



CC, now this IS excellent! Children's education, I am really passionate about. I think there is so much we mums can learn and share with others here in the UK regarding our kids education and the educational system.

Ella, a couple of thoughts on this - what d'you think of subdividing the topic of Children's education into the following categories:

~ Pre-school Education
~ Primary Education
~ Secondary Education
~ Further Education
~ Home Education
~ Special Educational Needs
~ Gifted and Talented
~ Homework Corner
~ Bullying
~ School Holidays

and lots more! I know I've got lots to natter about on a couple of these areas and I think it would be cool to share experiences and advice with other mums too. What d'you think?

One word! Brilliant! I am very passionate about this too, running my own tuition centre shortly for school kids. But the aspect of adding Bullying and SEN in is something I never even considered this is fantastic. I don't think there is such a thing as experts on these topics. It is really opinions in the end, either opinions, statistics or a mixture of both so I would love your opinions. We will mix it up together!

Ivynwa: Ell77, I ain't really being part of your club.
Just to let you know that you have a great business idea on your fingertips. The title of this thread can create a great Television programme that one of the Nigerian stations may be happy to run with you showcasing Nigerian families in the UK and other places, the wives/mothers and how they tackle the challenges of raising a family in a foreign country. I can't even begin to imagine the millions of viewers that will be tripping to watch your programme. You go girl!

You are exactly right I would love to watch that TV programme!

In fact I would love to watch a Nigerian version of it based in Nigeria too!

chaircover: Ella good idea and this has been needed for a long time, but I'm a little confused. Is this blog for housewives or wives. You mentioned something about work so I'm not really sure.

I like efes ideas of home and gardens and properties etc and I can help in that area from time to time. We can also have an area for education and childcare

We can also have something on travel and holidays within the uk and we can share tried and tested UK resorts, prices etc

Hi Chaircover thanks very much - yes I would love your help and education and childcare are extremely important to me too, travel is a good one too.

Regarding - the housewives/wives confusion - I just chose that name as it was catchy. If you watch all the different real housewives documentary series i.e. real housewives of Orange County etc, there are stay at home mothers, new fiances with no kids yet, entrepreneur mums, working mums, single mums, so all are welcome and relevant as our lives often share similar struggles, needs, hopes and dreams. Does that make more sense?

Efemena_xy:

Ella, why not create a section for Homes and Gardens?

So say for example, you could have sub-topics on these centred around

~ Good Housekeeping (so for those of us with kids wanting to know how to remove biro stains from leather sofas, or how to remove alcohol stains from silk tops, or even whether to use fabric conditioners or not! )

~Gardening

~ Property / DIY,

~Living overseas, etc?

Just a thought though...

No this is wonderful, thanks very much! These are all relevant to me too so glad to hear others would be interested? Do you know much about any of these topics then - enough to write on? We need some good writers too!

Hi,

I need some volunteers to write on this blog who will be given posting access on these topics to name a few:
Fashion trends - Threacia, Manchester - you did not leave contact details are you able to email me at ellaoku@gmail.com?
Family/relationships
Politics - Oyindamola - you did not leave contact details are you able to email me at ellaoku@gmail.com?
Book/Movie/TV show reviews
Career advice
Start up business advice
Cooking

If there are any other areas of interest please fill in this survey and don't forget your contact details with your name:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/59Z5C2Y

Thanks a bunch

Hugs and kisses

Ella

tpia@:


different clubs like the ones you mentioned eg lions club or something like that and i think many of them do social projects once in a while eg refurbishing somewhere, donating stuff, etc.


not sure what they generally do in their regular meetings though- was never a member.

i think there are also golf associations and so on.

That sounds very good. Thanks for this tpia. I will do some more research.

coogar:

nigerian women don't come to the pubs - they are too bogged down by their jobs and other issues to afford such luxuries! then again, most of them see clubbing as an evil vice so you rarely see the mature women in the clubs! your concept is interesting and would bring more to the yard than pub/club....

Thanks - glad to see others agree.

coogar:
you know men are not as uptight as women - i have met many people in the pub and we were able to talk business, exchange ideas or do some sorta link-ups! it's not only about drinking and unwinding.......

Well that's good if you all are doing that, but I assume in UK it is mostly with current friends and not how you meet new friends. However, one day if we we have a country club/permanent residence for the group in a big building then it sounds like having a classy bar with wide screen TV in there for all would be a very good idea. Thanks for the insight Coogar.

tpia@:


that might be an interesting concept.

there are equivalents in nigeria but they're not called country clubs.

Thank you very much - Exactly!. This is what I'd like. What do the they call it in Nigeria - boat club, social club or what? I know they do have so many and varieties too. Especially for the older generations.

@ Coogar - thanks.

The idea is to not replicate what is already out there, if you read my initial post you would see the logic behind this.

If you want single women go clubbing or to the pub I am sure you will have a great supply you don't need this as an avenue, thanks for visiting the thread anyway.

But besides drinking and watching football in the pub what else do you do there that is meaningful and how has this helped you? Spend some more time considering da da da ... [size=18pt]"the brother club"[/size].

coogar: can the men join this group? a lot of uk based nigerian women in the 25-45 age group are bored and they need some sorta companionship! what do you say?

oh yeah - are single mothers allowed too?

I know you are being cheeky but I will answer the question you should have asked:

Are men and single mothers invited?

Sorry membership is for women only including single mothers too - but there will be many events inviting husbands/fiances, friends and kids its just the group itself that is for women. I think a male brother group on its own would be good though - go start one in your locality (no cults please ).

Efemena_xy: Interesting stuff you've got there Ell77

Thanks Efemena. I really wanted to do this as I am passionate about it, though I am not sure how it will be received but I'd love a UK Nigerian country club one day and it will start with this. Lets see if we can build a solid community (ironically starting online)!

What is The Real Nigerian Housewives of the United Kingdom?
To get this group going in the right direction and find out more about yourselves, please fill in the survey below. The survey will help shape the direction of this group and build up a profile and contact list of our members:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/59Z5C2Y

Thanks a bunch

Hugs and kisses

Ella

http://realnaijwife..co.uk/p/welcome-page.html

Hi Ladies and welcome to The Real Nigerian Housewives of the United Kingdom!

My name is Ella (alias DegreeAngel), I was born and raised in the UK and I am of Nigerian origin.

After coming to the realisation the Nigerian community is so fragmented in the UK, this is particularly true for wives and even more difficult if you are a stay at home mum or single mother. I can probably limit Nigerian social gatherings for wives to:

1. Nightclubs (not a fan myself as a wholesome Christian wife),
2. Work (yes we are the minority there and no I'm not a fan of after work pub crawls) or
3. Church (people are always in a rush to leave to get ready for work the next day - sad face)

So, I decided to start a group to grow a community of Nigerian wives for support, laughter and friendship. This group is also open to those who are engaged. If you are single please don't take offence, the reason I have not focused on singles is purely because in some ways I feel the needs of those who are single are often quite different and often their goals are too, I also feel you have a larger number of gathering spots. I myself am a married mother of one lovely boy and I know my life was totally different 5 years ago. This is not to say singles are excluded, by all means if you feel this is the group for you, you are welcome. This is just a disclaimer to let you know a lot of what we do may be centered around the married/motherhood life (but definitely not boring).

The goal of this group is to form a community of different types of women with strong and positive bonds whilst having fun. The target age is 25 - 45 and this will be a real face to face community as well as an online one - who knows we might set up our own country club if it gets big enough! It will involve anything from posting stories about yourselves and learning about different Nigerian cultures and characteristics from each other online. Threads on the latest songs/dance moves, fashion trends, family/relationships. To organising play-dates and childrens stay and play sessions, dinner and drinks nights, coffee mornings/afternoons, house/hall parties, orphanage fundraisers, holidays/trips, professional or DIY spa and beauty days, hair and gele making sessions, theatre/cinema outings as well as discussing/influencing politics, starting book groups, career sessions/seminars/networking opportunities. Or help starting businesses, finding employment/promotion, cooking and much more.

Basically this blog and group is an open book that will be formed by you and I can't wait to see where you take it. Hopefully you don't think this is a bad idea, it has been made with the best intentions so forward this to women you know who are married or engaged.

Hugs and Kisses

Ella

chy22: [color=#000099][/color] @ella
My case is I am going for my masters in biomedical science and my final aim is research Phd in cancer but I am afriad if I can extend my visa with out coming back to nigeria since my current visa will expire january 2014 while most start date for postgradute studies is september.
Secondly my sponsor wants to pay for the masters degree. Then the PhD he wants to pay for the first year of the program while I work and pay for the remaining two years, I want to know if there is hope of geting work while I do the Phd.

This post is not for advice but rather for accommodation assistance.

However, I admire your ambition and as with most students I advise I will direct you as best as I can.

First of all, there is no guarantee it will take you 3 years to complete the PhD element of your program, unfortunately it could take longer, or there is the possibility of it taking only two years.

Now about the job, it is difficult to work whilst doing a PhD. If you plan to work there are three routes you could take
A) Work from as soon as you enter the UK even if you are being sponsored and save every penny possible to ensure you do not need to work as long during the PhD.
B) Concentrate on achieving the greatest grade possible by focusing purely on your studies and doing no work so that you qualify for a scholarship based on academic merit and thereby need to work less during your studies.
C) Tutor Bachelors students whilst doing your PhD, teach university classes for discounts on tuition fees.

In short
A = To make enough money you have to work long hours and this could affect your grade, some PhD's require certain grade scores to qualify (although others focus more on your proposal and school fees)
B = No guarantee you will get the scholarship, but many do and because you are an international student you will still need money for living expenses as the scholarship will get eaten up by your tuition fees
C = Difficult to get the students and depends on your uni if you can teach classes but good money if you can so you wont need to work as long hours.

THE CHOICE IS YOURS, enquire at your uni the options for all three.

Property update!

PRIVATE ACCOMMODATION IN MANCHESTER

SAVE £1000 per annum! BY RENTING FROM DEGREEANGEL UK LTD.

There is an opportunity for you to personalise your room so that you have some home comforts. We will also add services of stocking £100 worth of goods for your fridge, freezer and cupboard with Nigerian drinks, foods and cereals from a list sent to you just before you pay deposit. We even provide an umbrella and UK sim card and guidance on other settling in tasks like registering with a doctor and bank! There may be a flexible contract job opportunity depending on the course you studied also.

Contact director@degreeangel.co.uk

SAMPLE LIVING BUDGET

Living costs...
Spend per term (3 terms in year)...
Books £62
Clothes £178
Concerts/cinema £50
Travel out of town £50

Monthly spending...
Rent £340
Bar/restaurant bills £77
Food £130
Mobile phone £36
Transport £12
Shopping £69 (try to save up for a laptop this also includes laundry costs lets say £4 per week)
Household bills £65

Daily outgoings...
eg. teas, coffees, newspapers, stuff £5

RESULT
To get get through uni you will need:
Annual: £10568
Per term: £3523
Per month: £881


Please note this is an average and depending on where you live and how frugal or lavish you are amounts will vary accordingly. A lot of things in this list are optional if you focus on your studies and eat in for instance you can spend a whole lot less.

Thanks

Regards

DegreeAngel UK Ltd

Donxavier:

Thank you so much for such a detailed response. For me, the options open to me are either The Tier 2 visa route or marrying a Nigerian British citizen. I cant imagine spending almost 4M naira on my masters programme only to teach at the end of the day. I'd rather take the next flight back home than teach or do any other job that isn't worth the whole money expended in studying. The best way really from all you said is to get lucky and secure a decent job so one can directly cross to the Tier 2. I assume this means scoring high grades, doing internships,getting relevant work experience, attending career fairs and scaling the rigorous job interviews and test.God help me and give me the grace to scale through.

Do you know Nigerian grads that have successfully done all these? especially after this harsher immigration rules came into effect.Relevant testimonies wont hurt at all and will just serve to boost our faith that we too can do it.

I heard of careersinafrica and other multinational companies in Nigeria coming to the UK to recruit the best Nigerian students in various fields. How true is this? and how does one avail himself of the opportunities.

As regards the accommodation, I'm awaiting a response from you cos I need accommodation in Aberdeen not too far from the Robert Gordon University since that's where am studying and will be there by early September. I really would appreciate it if you get back to me as early as possible. you can track my application with my email fopeolutogun@yahoo.com I already filled your form.

I also want to ask do you have like a sample living cost budget for staying in the UK for a year. I mean a budget listing all the possible expenses and miscellaneous spending one might make while in the UK including all bills and accommodation? if yes, can you email me a sample format.

Looking forward to hearing from you.
Thanks

@Don - Lol at your response. Some men have become nurses after studying MBAs because the salary was good and they saw an opportunity to stay in UK through this. I say never say never! Teaching is a respectable field. If you work in inner city schools it can be discouraging because of bad pupil behaviour with little power to correct them but then you get a salary that is higher than most graduate salaries to compensate for such. For some people taking their degree back to Nigeria has been far favourable than the best job they could have attained in the UK. Some are commanding salaries that are far higher than all their peers they left in Nigeria whilst studying.

There are many Nigerians who successfully stayed in UK when PSW was still in place and even more before this. Personally, though I have not seen anyone stay back since the new UKBA changes. But maybe its too new to tell. Or perhaps we should create a thread inviting people to share their stories?

CAreersinAfrica is a good way of getting a job back in Nigeria whilst in the UK. Normally held early in the academic year and sometimes again later on in May. Like graduate jobs advertised online you have to follow their site, build your CV and focus whilst you are just settling in to university. When you are invited, you will have to go to assessments, interviews or both on the spot so it is no mean feat but again I know of people who were recruited by Shell in Nigeria after studying in Imperial for instance and attending a careers fair there. As for CareersinAfrica I know many who have been successfully invited but few who have secured a job - you have to be the best and there also appears to be some tribalism/connections at times depending on the company/person recruiting.

As regards the accommodation - yes we have been searching for a place for you and have yet to find one. If we do not get one for you a week before the deadline for applying for your university halls of residence please apply for your halls of residence as places will be limited and Scotland is not an area we have many connection in so it will be slower for us to get places there.

I don't have a sample yet as this is quite unique and personal although it is something I am happy to create for you as to give you the general idea.

I wish you all the best.

Regards

DegreeAngel UK Ltd