₦airaland Forum

Why are Nigerians so defensive?

The poster asked a simple yet relevant question but was bombarded with abuse. Who cares if people have the latest blackberries in Lagos Who cares if some people in Nigeria are dressed better than those in the West??  

maddock:
Cant really stop my fingers from using the keyboards, i wonder what people think Nigeria is. there is nothing in the world today that u cant find in Nigeria (except sub stations). I have neighbours that have their dinner in lagos and have their lunch in the very best of hotels in america the next day,

Laughable at best!  

Now, back to my diary. Well, I discovered that most of the things we call comedy in Nigeria movies are serious issues that must be tackled. They are real!

Iya Funke, my friend lives opposite the house of a man who has a room, two wives and fours children. I didn’t believe her until one evening when the two wives started fighting over who ate the bread on the table. People tried to settle the misunderstanding. I was shocked when the first wife started abusing her husband and the second wife, saying that she has been the one feeding the family for sometime.

The man is a commercial motorcyclist by profession (Okada rider) while the first wife is a petty trader, the second wife is a full time house wife. I was shocked to the marrows of my body when I learnt that the guy actually has two wives in one room. I even thought he had three children until I discovered that they are four children.I only see things like these in Nollywood movies until I saw it live!!!

“What manner of man is this”, I asked myself rhetorically. On my way home, I kept asking myself different questions, most of which I have not found an answer till date. Does this kind of thing still happen in this age and time? How do they have sex when the children are also there in the room? When he is having sex with the first wife under the watchful eyes of the second wife, what is her reaction?(At least,there would be no way they would be having sex that the other person won't know)


How will the man meet up with his responsibilities of taking care of the children with the meager sum he makes from his commercial motorcycle? What kind of children would come out of that kind of marriage? Is the man not ashamed at all? (I even saw him recently)…why are the two women so blind in love (or lust) that made the two women agree to stay in the one room with him?i mean, what manner of a man is this!

This is not an unusual situation in Nigeria and I can't understand why people here (Nigerians) in this thread are acting like it is. There was time when I was in Nigeria and went to visit an Uncle who lived in Mushin with his family. This man had two wives and I counted about ten children aged between 18 down to 1 years old, all in one room but I was sure there was more.
In that one room there was a tall fridge, double bed, a full suite of chairs with a table and more chairs, TV and video, and a music centre complete with big speakers. In short, the room was fully furnished, over furnished in my opinion and I couldn't for the life of me figure out where everyone slept at night with all that big furniture in the way.

My Uncle (RIP) was unemployed at the time and his wife sold palm oil for a living. The second wife had already ran off to 'do business' but had left her toddler kids with her husband.

Their household and family set up was not unusual in the compound they lived in as there were plenty of families like theirs.

Blueberries, high in antioxidants.

Strawberries can be a bit too sour for me at times so I only like them when they are in season.

I've made a point to eat fruits every day

Oats and blueberries every day for breakfast. I also have 1 banana, 1 clementine or mandarin, A tub of thick chunks of pineapple from m&s and some strawberries or grapes every day. I also normally have a green salad and vegetable soup each day for lunch too. As you can see my diet isn't very adventurous during the weekdays but I do pig out at the weekends. . I love rice though and can have it every day but I don't because of health issues.

I saw a similar report on the BBC. . .Tragic.

BBC NEWS
Nigeria police: Issuing corpses and denials

By Caroline Duffield
BBC News, Lagos

"It really overwhelms our capacity to store bodies," says Dr Anthony Mbah, chief medical director at the University of Nigeria Teaching Hospital.

His mortuary is overflowing - with corpses brought in by the police.

"We have between 70 and 80 bodies right now, and about three weeks ago, there was a mass burial of some other corpses," he says.

"We are now getting ready to get these ones buried."

Inside the mortuary in the south-eastern city of Enugu, two rooms are set aside for the remains of the young men.

In the first room, they are stacked, naked, one on top of the other. In places the piles are four or five deep.

Faces peer out amongst a forest of legs. Heads loll into groins. Limbs are flung around torsos. Some almost seem to embrace. The smell - and the flies - make it impossible to get close.

It is a scene beyond belief.

Fathers' pain

The mortuary is in a state of chaos. No-one working here can put a precise number on the corpses. Many of the bodies have no names. Mortuary records simply say "suspected armed robber" or "unknown thief".

“ As they killed him, they killed me, my life is over ”
Dennis Onovo Father of victim

The register says police left 75 bodies between the beginning of June and 26 November this year.

But the records are imperfect - staff correct mistakes as they go along, one page appears to be missing.

It is uncertain how many of these bodies really are those of armed robbers.

The father of one victim of a police shooting has no doubt about the innocence of his son.

"A child is a gift from the Gods. They have taken him from me," Chief Dennis Onovo murmurs.

The morning that Mr Onovo's 22-year-old son, Matthew, died he had been walking to a computer class. Police were searching for an armed man in the area - and shot him dead.

"I always hoped my son will one day be governor of this state, or even head of state - but all my effort is in vain," says Mr Onovo.

For two days, the community stood still as people came out in peaceful demonstration.

The police told Matthew's parents he was suspected of armed robbery.

"This boy was not an armed robber. He was never a thief, much less an armed robber," says Mr Onovo.

"As they killed him, they killed me, my life is over."

A few miles away, another father echoes his words.

Chief Mark Ngena trembles, remembering.

"He was playing with his fellow children," he says of his 13-year-old son Emmanuel.

"Suddenly policemen, three of them, came in. They shot and killed this boy. Murdered him in cold blood."

It was later claimed that Emmanuel too was an armed robber.

His family have never recovered his body.

Lawyers and relatives point to a pattern - of unlawful killings by police, followed by claims the deceased was an armed robber.

It is an easy way to cover dirty tracks, they say.

Police 'are victims too'

Enugu State Police Commissioner Mohamed Zarewa looks at the photograph of piled up bodies in the mortuary and covers them with his hand.

“ Why are you not asking about the policemen who died? ”
Mohamed Zarewa Enugu State police commissioner

"I am not aware of that number you are talking. I am not aware, I am not aware," he says.

He mutters it five or six times.

Officers in his force do not carry out unlawful or arbitrary killings, he insists.

He says the young men were all killed in gun battles, fighting the police.

"Not just to go and kill somebody, we don't do that, it's unconstitutional. We are in a democracy," he says.

"You are asking about the young men, why are you not asking about the policemen who died? We people, we lose our lives."

It is true that police work in Nigeria is a difficult job - often deadly.

An encounter between a police officer and a real armed robber is a matter of life or death.

Police officers' wages are low. Corruption in the force is endemic. Poorly trained and ill-equipped policemen are sent to face armed gangs.

But it is also true that many people are killed in police custody.

Punishment without trial

In the Brought in Dead book, seven names are of particular interest.

Kennis Victor Okonkwo, Adolphus Odumegwu, Sunday Okoye, Hussein Yusuf, Ugochukwu Ogbonnaya, Amichi Nnamdi, and Ifeani Eze Leonard.

They were arrested, accused of a kidnapping in early September.

On 11 September they were paraded by the inspector-general of Police.

Photos of them alive appeared in local newspapers.

But they never reached court.

By 15 September six of them were dead. The body of the last was delivered to the mortuary the following day.

By each name is written SARS, Special Anti-Robbery Squad - a feared police unit.

When asked for an explanation, Police Commissioner Zarewa said he was too busy.

'Equivalent to hell'

"They told me they have transferred my brother to Abuja," says Charles, a shy 22-year-old.

His older brother was in trouble with the police, accused of robbery.

Charles took a food flask for his brother, and travelled for two days to reach the police station.

On arrival he was arrested, accused of armed robbery, and held for three months.

"Inside there was equivalent to hell," he says.

He says he was taken out of his cell, hung by the knees and beaten. But he feels lucky as it happened only a couple of times.

A man held with him suffered a similar punishment, but his joints were smashed. He screamed as he crawled back into the cell.

Briefly, Charles was held opposite his own brother and the two had the chance to talk.

After that, Charles never saw him again.

"It is the slang they use," he says quietly.

"They are not going to tell you openly your brother is killed. They just tell you they have transferred his case to Abuja."
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/world/africa/8401119.stm

Published: 2009/12/08 10:48:12 GMT

© BBC MMIX
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/8401119.stm

I thought all British born people got their NI numbers automatically when they turned 16.  

Never mind, I have just checked and it is only people who have been resident in the Uk and in receipt of child benefit that get it sent to them automatically. She should still be able to work though by showing her passport as proof that she is British and letting her employers know that her NI number is on its way.

http://www.paypershop.com/phpBB2/working-without-an-ni-number-t360.html

AjanleKoko:
May I ask a curious question?
Were you born and raised in Nigeria?
Would also like to hear from Siena and some of the other contributors.
Why I am asking is not for any cynical reason, mind you. If you have had no prior exposure of any kind to Nigeria, then I can understand. But most Nigerians abroad grew up here, went to school up to a point here, before relocating. So don't blame me if I find the queries about Nigeria strange, especially from people who have lived here before.

Mind you, there are also Nigerians who are living in Nigeria, who have also been defrauded. I am a personal example, was defrauded twice over property purchases, and had to give up and lose my money. To a large extent, you will be defrauded in any country, so long as you transact business with the wrong people, and you don't do proper due dilligence. There are only a few countries in the world that provides for the element of trust in their business. Most climes support fraud and criminal activity, not just Nigeria.

I was born and raised in London.

I never said that Nigeria was the only country where one could be ripped off. The the thread is about moving from the West to Nigeria or Ghana, effectively moving from a first world country to a developing one. In the West when doing business it is easy to check out a company's or individuals credentials including insurance and references by simply making a phone call or checking google. And even if one were to still get ripped off after doing their homework they would still be some  hope of recovering the money and having the perpetrators brought to task. How often have you heard of property purchases in the West going belly up and the estate agent absconding with the money scot free as much as they do in Nigeria?

As I said one requires the right temperament in order to handle life in Nigeria and also to deal with Nigerians on a day to day basis because most have a different cultural mindset. For instance it won't be unusual for an entourage to arrive straight from the village unannounced expecting to stay for several months or how about been expected to give gifts of money to every single relative that happens to be in town? The cultural differences are plenty and one shouldn't assume that because their parents are Nigerian then they understand Nigerians. Speaking from personal experience that is far from the truth.

I have a friend in her 30s, born and raised in Britain, who had never ever been to Nigeria but assumed that because her parents were Nigerian she could handle life over there with her husband. She lasted about 6 months over there and during that time came to the conclusion that she was more English than she thought. Please note that I am only pointing out the differences in culture and not saying that one is better than the other. I am sure there are people who come from Nigeria or Ghana to the West and last only a couple of months too because they can't handle the cultural differences here.

Another thing to point is that one shouldn't go to Nigeria expecting to all the basic amenities and necessities that people in the West take for granted without expecting to pay BIG BUCKS in order to get them.  . . and then even that won't be enough. local amenities like libraries, local swimming baths, shopping malls that are accessible to ALL and not just the big Ogas and their families, a choice of gyms or any any other extra curricular activity that you want your child to partake in won't be easily available or accessible.

Necessities like electricity, an issue which I know has been flogged to death on these boards, hot and cold taps with a toilet that actually flushes in your home, super high speed broadband service, the ability to post a letter in the post box and expectation that it arrive at its intended destination, the inability to party or hang out late at night for fear of armed robbers, the inability to go shopping in the middle of the night because you have been so busy during the day to do so, the inability to call the RAC or the AA when your car breaks down on the motorway, the inability to pick up the phone and dial 999 when you require immediate help are out of reach to the average man on the street in Nigeria.

It is probably all very well if you have the money to stay in a huge mansion or swanky apartment in Lekki with 24 hour light, security  and to pay for some of the basics above but realistically not everyone has the financial means to live that way in Nigeria. Whereas if you are already used to getting these things as a standard in the West it would take a huge personal adjustment to have to pay to do so in Nigeria.

In short if one wants to emigrate to Nigeria from the west then be prepared for a huge culture shock.

Siena, I am no sure what your perspective is; more British than Nigerian culturally or vice versa but if you have more of a British persuasion on things culturally then there is a forum called Oyinbos online where expatriates who live in Nigeria discuss life there. It may help you get an idea of how things are for people who are not used to Nigerian life.

And I agree with Angie. . . You and your missus look so cute together!

I heard that yam is more nutritious.

I didn't see any decent pics of Enugu.

Why o why is it that when Nigerians are asked to post pics of their cities they post pics of people dressed in fancy clothes, family houses and half built residential estates I don't know aboout anyone else but I want to see infrastructure, roads, bridges, city centres, public transportation, train stations, the interior of malls, quality of local produce and good for sale etc.

bandiejay:
@ siena, only what i have to say is, Great achievement involves great risk , MTN took a big risk by comming to invest in nigeria which vodafone could have done before them, Dbanj took a risk by leaving is group in uk and stay in naija for Local shows , now one of nigeria favourite artist, Nigeria is a cool country for bussiness and there is cheap Labour here, compared with what you will pay your staff in uk, so dont think about the the stress added to it , you get it some where while you pay it another place that is a typical Naija, also bros, remember comming to naija is a task, staying is a choice , good luck bro

Good advice.

I personally think that one has to be ruthless to make it in Nigeria and so it is indeed a choice for one to choose that way of life. I know plenty of Nigerians who have worked hard in the West, taken their hard earned money to Nigeria only to be ripped off and returned with their spirits broken.

I think if one has the right temperament to deal with Nigeria and Nigerians in general then they should go far. When I say 'Nigerians', I mean born and raised in Nigeria because no matter which way you slice it if you were born and raised or spent your formative years in the West then you have a long way to go in understanding the Nigerian psyche let alone trying to be one. Think about it, there are elderly Nigerians in the West today who have spent a good part of 30 or 40 years here but they still for the most part have that Nigerian mindset and so I doubt it is any different for anybody else.

If she is British then she should have an NI number which should enable her to sign up for legal temp work at an agency. There is plenty of temp work around now as students haven't broken up for the hols yet.

Well actually she is British


[flash=425,345]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bIzuPLwXk8&hl=en_GB&fs=1&">[/flash]

I think this show would have been much more interesting if they had based it on the many dance forms of Africa and left the waltzes and foxtrots alone. The costumes they would have had to put together to perform such dances would have been amazing. The costumes on Nigerian celebrity takes two are a joke!

manmustwac:
the babe who can't even speak proper english they put in the final. well i just hope olly or joe win coz we can't have a babe winning 3 times in a row

Nobody has the x-factor this year but it will be funny if Stacey wins. The chick can't even speak properly and so it will be a laugh. Serve Simon right! lol!

I think a translator is required for Stacey.

British.

manmustwac:
JLS are going to be more popular that burke girl who won last year

I highly doubt that but we'll see. JLS are beyond cheesy.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjmhinOL3F0



Nobody comes close to Alexandra's standard this year and that is why people are not bothering and voting for John and Edward instead. These guys are topping the votes because people just want to have a laugh.

Sauron
I haven't defended anyone, just stated facts. Again, go to bed Hugh Hefner or whatever you call yourself.

haha, I should have known by your passionate outbursts in this thread that you were just Hot. Go to bed jare, your wife is waiting for you.

@Sauron

The obvious meaning, I will wrap that rope around your throat and fling your obnoxious a$$ into the middle of the Atlantic ocean abi

@Sauron

Listen son, stop the name calling and getting overly emotional because believe me you don't want to get on my wrong side.

The lady was wrong for trying to travel to America with huge bump. It was so obvious what she was going to do there and while it is not uncommon among Nigerian ladies it doesn't make it right. The Americans have the right to refuse entry as do the British with anyone travelling via their country.

tunnytox:
I beg to differ her job is to prevent the traveller from travelling on a London bound flight and NOT to contact the US embassy, to me that is sheer wickedness

She was doing her job by contacting the US embassy to to verify information. If the Americans had said that they were aware of her pregnancy then she would have been allowed on the US flight via the UK. In that case had she been allowed to fly and been stopped at the American border, the Americans wouldn't have a leg to stand on if they had tried to deport her back to her last destination which would have been the UK and the airline wouldn't be liable for a fine.

@Sauron
She was daft. End of. She would never have been allowed into America with a belly that size anyway.

This story is too fantastic to be true.
However,

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6923912.stm

~Sauron~:
By your estimation, she waited 5 months(after the bump musta shown) before she decided to go to America? Nigerians are not that daft.

Well appears that this Nigerian lady was. .

The Americans told the lady to visit the US embassy again because the british bitch became obnoxious and hysterical about an ordinary bump.

She was doing her job. If Nigerians lady didn't want to deal with British immigration then she should have gotten a direct flight from Nigeria to the US. She messed up although I doubt that an American airline would have allowed her to board with 'bump'

Taxis are safe the last time i checked. . . .

Is that so? The last time I checked the majority of taxis in Nigeria don't even have MOT!!

How does this affect the price of fish?

You tell me!! You are the one getting your knickers in a twist about how the UK Border force choose to transport their employees to work in Nigeria.

@Sauron
That's because her bump probably wasn't showing when she applied for the American visa. If the bump hadn't been an issue then the Americans would have allowed her to board. In case it escaped you it was they, the Americans, who advised the lady to visit the US embassy again once they became aware of the pregnancy.

Is there safe reliable public transport in Nigeria? If so then yes the lady should travel to work via Nigerian public transport. However I can't see why you are getting all emotional over this. If the Brits choose to transport their workers to work in that manner how does that concern you

~Sauron~:
I feel for the pregnant woman. . . . . .

Her pregnancy issue never came up at the American Embassy.
What was that white woman's business sticking her nose into another woman's bump?

She claims she controls the kinda people flying to America via the UK but this woman did not plan staying in the UK.
Her destination was USA and yet they won't let her cop an American citizen she's been dreaming of.

Na wa for Naija peops o.

Please use some logic.

If she flies to America via the UK and she is refused entry into the US because of her obvious bump then then she will be deported back to the UK and the airline will be fined. A friend of mine once left Nigeria for America via Italy and was deported back to Italy. This was in 2000 and she has been there ever since. The white lady was just doing her job. Americans never let anyone who is not an American citizen into their country with an obvious pregnancy bump and the lady probably concealed her pregnancy or failed to disclose it when applying for her US visa.

~Sauron~:
Where would you see her?

She drives in a bullet-proof Jeep with a driver and Police escorts.
In the UK, she would be on the Jubilee line reading her metro newspaper and standing in the train cos there's no seat.

She must be loving it in Naija.

And as for the lady travelling on the Tube as opposed to being transported in her employer's car to work, what is wrong with that? Even the former Major of London used public transport during his time in office and the current Major now cycles around the city. In the UK, unlike Nigeria, taking public transport or (cycling for that matter) to work is not the height of poverty.

yoruba:
You should take a thorough investigation of what Apartheid did, it made the whites supreme, coloureds/asians in the middle, blacks down below at the pit. This was racism, and was applied everywhere housing, infrastructure, education etc. It will take years if not decades to recover from. That's why South Africa is the most unequal society in the world.

Agreed it will take years. However that doesn't mean that it should be overlooked and posting pictures of the mostly white inhabited parts of Cape Town or South Africa where less only a minimum can afford to live won't help tell the truth. Tell the truth and shame the devil by posting pics where the majority of South Africans who happen to be black have no choice but to live.

I understand what apartheid is. Whatever gave you the impression that I didn't? The majority of black people live in shacks, the majority of  coloureds live in somewhat decent housing and the majority whites live in swanky apartments facing the atlantic or mansions on beautiful landscapes. This is the fallout from apartheid. From my understanding the government continues to build suitable housing for those in shacks but because some are not used to having the responsibly of living in a house i.e. paying bills they move out and build another shack which has minimum responsibility.

Whether we care to admit it or not South Africa with all its wondrous infrastructure and fabolousity' is not the creation of the Black African man. White people developed the country for themselves and to their standard. Don't get it twisted, while I admire the country and will definitely visit again it is certainly not a country that I would use as an example of how an African country can operate as good as its western counterparts.

@Yoruba

Assuming that you are a Black African you do realise that these Coloured girls would never consider a relationship with the likes of you? I have many South African friends and they would tell me that some of these coloureds would slit their throats rather than be identified as Black never mind date one for a lasting relationship.
When I was there the Blacks were the most beautiful. From my perspective, the African men were simply gorgeous with straight white teeth and smooth skin and my fellow African ladies had gorgeous smooth skin too with the typical African female figure that every one in the West is trying to get now. The coloureds weren't all that, even the white Africans looked better than them.

yoruba:
Hadexman doesn't know the Cape very well, he is expecting to see some girl holding a baby in a slum with a sorry face written HIV/AIDS on it(like the rest of the western media), there so many hot babes down there its not even funny. I was just merely showing a typical example of hot babes down there and trust me there are lots of them(been there before)
Here is my source for the demographics http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cape_Town#Demographics@ 1,2
I actually grew up in a small town in the Free State, but for most of my life I lived in Joburg. I travel a lot throughout Africa but I just love staying over for a holiday in Cape Town and yes I also wouldn't wanna live in Cape Town cause its too damn boring and European but its one the best places for a holiday, on the other hand Joburg is the place to be its like Africa's New York.

I just got back from a two week vacation in Cape Town a couple of weeks ago. It is indeed a beautiful place but I didn't feel like I was in Africa. Too much of a European vibe. I visited Seapoint which was absolutely gorgeous as well as the Waterfront, Camps Bay, Chapman's Peak, Cape Point and Table Mountain. I was thoroughly impressed.  I was also impressed by the easy way of life, atms at every corner, reasonably priced and safe public transport, and excellent tourist facilities such as world class hotels, bureau de changes, tourist guides and routes,first class restaurants, the ability to walk around at 3am in the morning without fearing for your life, friendly welcoming people.

I have visited many cities and towns in Africa and apart from friendly people the other things are a big no no. I can't imagine walking around in Lagos at that hour and I am yet to find a decent atm that will accept my HSBC debit card or even use it electronically like I did in Cape Town. However I was warned that the townships were not a place to be after dark and not to go there alone otherwise I would be jumped.

On the flip side however, my heart was heavy when I visited the Townships of Langa and Kyaelistha (sp) where I saw my fellow Africans living like rats in makeshift shacks with at least 150 people sharing a single tap and a toilet. This was a far cry from the 'white townships' of Seapoint, greenpont, camps bay et.

Across the motorway was another Township, I can't recall the name but it began with a B and sounded Afrikaans. Now this Township was not as glamorous as the 'white townships' but there were no shacks and the houses looked decent however this was a Coloured township. Why weren't the Black townships like that at least??

My conclusion of the city. The white man developed Cape Town for themselves and up to their standard. It hurts to say this but without the white man Cape Town would have been just another city in Africa. That being said I commend the South Africans, Blacks, Coloureds and whites alike for working together to move their country forward despite the terrible history and of scars of apartheid. The country could have gone to pot ala Zimbabwe had the ANC acted like Zanu PF and thrown all the non-blacks out of the country.

I am looking forward to visiting Johannesburg next year for the world cup.

LOVE this thread. Thanks for starting.

@All

You guys are so easily worked up. Can't you tell that 'European' is just a wind up merchant