₦airaland Forum

amarilo:
Lol who is a fool now? I only asked a question dude.
At the same time surffing the web while on a parry shows one thing.

Say what? That I like to keep tabs on what is on etc? Dude, kindly Bleep off since you ain't adding to the debate at hand.


@whitelexi
I heard that at the event, I was like damn. . . Lol. Nah wah for you men, why, why, why, why, why, did you stop checking your mail? Anyhow, it was fun and for the record ToH ate your portion of food.

Thank god I am not the type to lie amarillo. Now allow me to make a fool of you. My phone is connected to the internet 24/7. In fact, I am using it right now. My phone is a G1 aka google andriod on t-mobile. I can stay on the internet from now till jesus comes back and it won't cost me a thing.

Even fellow nairalander was browsing nairaland from my phone last night.

Next time before you talk shit and make an idiot of yourself. Get some knowledge. In the mean time, add to the topic at hand or Bleep off.

You are right on that one, it was mad fun. We should do this every month. Lol.

I just feel tired - dunno how to sleep properly in the afternoon. Also I have a fews thing to do, e.g put the Tv back in storage. . . But right now, I would just stay in bed and on NL.

Idonge. It would be a rip off to pay 1.99 for a BBQ. The one I went to cost me 20pence. See information in this thread.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-295555.0.html

Oh boy, our "1st annual" BBQ took place yesterday until this morning. . . .Man, it was the bomb. Below is the time-line of events.

Saturday 11 July 2009. 11am

As one of the organizer of the event, I was at the scene to set up a few Big Boys Toys - The PlayStation3, Pro-evolution 2009, and a massive lcd Tv screen. [Smoke on that haters].

The set up was pretty much easy for me, as this is like second nature to me. After setting up the tv and console in one corner, I tried a few games while waiting for fellow Nairalanders to turn up.

1130pm
My phone rings. It was follypimping telling me he is on his was from his end.  I cant wait to see him.

12pm [ish]
Sagamite on site. How nice, all is starting to come together now. I wonder how many more people are gonna turn up. Mean while, me and Sagamite are battling it out on Pro evo 2009 on a massive tv screen. He won a few games first, but then I changed my strategy and whooped his arse.
Eventually we levelled up and we ended up with a 4games each under our belt.

At this point, we took a break and went outside to get some freshly made BBQ chicken with salad and some nice tasting sauce. How yummy and delicious.

2pm
JayBee, ProudlyNaija, and a few others on site. Woah this is really starting to pick up. You gotta respect the peoudlynaija dude. He's got more qualification than any of us could shake a stick at.

Another phone call! This time coming from LadyT. She was informing me that her, TuBabie and Debosky are on their way. Man this is Awesome.

Yeah it is awesome, not awesome because the ladies are coming up, but because I get a chance to punch Debosky in the left eyeball.

3pm.
The caterers start to set up the food table. Damn, it was the bee's knees. The aroma of the food coming from the Kitchen was just making my belly rumbling.


3.30pm upwards.
LadyT finally turned up with Debo and Tubabie.

So I was ready to punch debosky in the left eye when I realised he was taller than me, and my attempt to punch him in the eye may not hit the intended target. So I quickly changed my tactics and just shake him like a man and smiled at him. He had manly hands, but mine was more manly.

Nah, am joking. No need to punch anyone like that. We are all grown ups. He is a cool guy and we just get along. But anyway, let me not waste time talking about Debo when there are two ladies waiting to be mentioned.

LadyT and Tubabie were looking all sweet and delicious and my God, I wont mind to deep them both into the BBQ sauce that I had with my chicken. 

While everyone was busy introducing themselves etc, we had to go and get ToH. This was supposed to be Sagamite's mission, but I thought it would be nice to tag along. At this point Debo and another fellow nairalander was playing the playstation3.

Anyway, we left to go get ToH in Sagamite's car. To my surprise, Sagamite was using an A-Z book to look up where he is going! I asked him if I should use the Navigation system on my phone, but he refused and gave an excuse of how he likes to challenge himself.

I think A-Z is so 1980s and Navigation is the way to go, but clearly Sagamite is from the past lol.

Anyway it started to rain and here we are waiting for ToH to come out. Gosh she took her time. I got mad and phone LadyT and asked her to tell her American friend to bring her arse outside right now, because me and Sagamite aint no taxi service.

But that didnt work, we had to wait almost 15mins before she finally comes out. ToH God punish your mouth for that.

Anyway, she got in the car and the first thing she did was to be adamant that Sagamite is OmoIbo. . .  Apparently Sagamite looks like an Ibo guy. This I have no problem with until she thought I was Debosky. I was like "Hello . . . . Debosky aint this cute" [Sorry Debo. ]. At this point, she used her umbrella to whack me in the head. . . . Nah Yanma Yanma go chop your mouth for that one.


430pm.
While some of us was playing the Playstation3. . . All of a sudden, the room went quiet. The light start to blink, the ground started to shake and it became windy. I was like "Oh my god! What is happening?" Then I realise Sauron was in the house.

Everybody quickly dived for cover. There was a figure standing there at the hallway in his greasy hair Jerry curls - looking like Easy E from NWA - wearing a t-shirt with the phrase "Straight outta compton" embroided on to it. "Holy shit I said" we all gonna die was my next thought. Before I could finish that thought, he brought out his Ak47 from no where and he started shooting up the place.

There was silence, silence of terror. . . Then he said "Sauron in the House" doing a west-cost "W-Sign" at the same time.



Okay, that is not how he happened, but that was what we all thought would happen when sauron showed up.

How very much different. When Sauron showed up, we didn't believe it. He was mild, quiet and not as we all expected. Phew, what a relief. Lol. I think Sauron's case is a classic "Never judge a book by its movie"

530pm.
Yeah the house was getting full now. TOH, Tubabie, LadyT, Sagamite, Me, OmoIbo[], proudlynaija, Jaybee, Sauron and a few others that I cant recollect their names at this point are all present.

Everyone was having fun, talking about current affairs, Chitty chatting about what not etc. Every one was clearly having phone. This I am proud of, this I happy to be a part of, this I would like to do again.

The music from the DJ was blasting - been doing so since we got there and everyone is loving it.

The management came down to ask if we need anything, but we told them things are fine.

6pm.

The caterers brought the food down and my God, they plates, tray and the food especially look good and taste nice too.

A few nairalander are acting shy and didn't wanna eat. But trust me to break the ice and make them eat lol. The first person to go grab some food was sagamite. He tucked into a nice plate of pounded yam and egusi soup. The guy no dey waste time at all.

ToH, not getting enough of whacking me on the head with her umbrella, she asked me to serve her some food. This I obliged and served her like a sucker too .
No tell anyone oh, but the girl like food.  She finish the plate and wash it down with a nice bottle of evian water. I no blame her, america no get proper food like we do for here.


7pm.
Everyone gathered around and we just starting talking and getting to know each other more. It is amazing how different people are. I guess it should be expected. The biggest surprise for me was Sauron, I was really expecting a mad man in dread-lock who is gonna shoot up the place, but he didnt. 

I know a few people probably expect me to be like that as well, but this is my view of events. . . Feel free to post what you want about me. lol.


Eventually, Folly the love-vendor turned up. The Guy is awesome, he brought some nice looking chick with him - Just like a true love-vendor would! He got right down to business by introducing himself and his woman to everyone. Nice man.

Credit to Folly for buying drinks for everyone - well those who drink alcohol.

8pm.
BusyBody in the house! She correctly identified almost every one. lol. But thank god, she didn't guessed me correctly. Oh it may be worth mentioning that she brought her sister too. Damn! She is hot. I should have been all over her, but she left shortly.   Can you imagine ElRazur dating Busy Body's sister.


9pm
This is the biggest surprise we had up our sleeves for the event. We had a surprise guest appearance. Can you guess who is it? This aint no joke, I would let debo post the picture.  .

The clue lies in the fact that this guy is a Nigeria musical artiste. Can you guess who he is yet?


10pm
More Gisting.

11pm.
The Gamers are tired now and some of us have had enough. I promptly packed up the Tv with the Ps3 and took it back to the car.

12Am -
We all went upstairs to dance etc.

I would let others fill up on the rest.


I just wanna use this opportunity to say Bleep you haters. Bleep you doubters. Bleep everyone of you who said something negative about this BBQ. Bleep you to those who wanted this to be a failure. We did and we would do it again.

In the mean time, I still remain the guy who you love to hate. Im out.


PS
I just woke up to write this, I would correct any errors or things I omit. Come back to check and look out for coloured text to indicate corrections and additions.

Erm okay.
I'm having fun. Shame you can't be here.

Tpiah, as usual you sprout illogical shit. What is written to put a wanted man in worst possible light? A man that jumped bail. . . Next you would be defending those that sleep with minors.

You asked as to why he is grouped with other rapist etc, lmao. You are quick to label other as rapist etc even though you are supposed to presume them innocent, but not call Farombi a fraudster etc? Lmao. Whatever the case, he is a wanted man and as such he is grouped with other wanted people, how hard is that to understand? It appears you condone criminality!

If your man is not as guilty like you and others are trying to paint, why did he jump bail? Lol.

Tpiah I have to go, am hanging with fellow nairalanders at the bbq. . . Shhh tell no one.

Idonge. Learn to post in paragraph, then I would consider taking you serious. For the record, I have mentioned what I do around here. oh don't forget to answer my questions I directed at you.

No thank you, but I would rather roll with a sexy monkey like platinum, not some ugly baboon like you. It would be an insult to a sexy Gorilla like me.

FL Gators:
I'm sure you can tell me what it tastes like

I have a feeling it takes like your arse? Your fat wobbly-stretch-mark riddled arse.

FL Gators:
Na, he can come and kiss my wobbly arse

Would you kiss shit?

platinumnk:
wobbly ones are the best ones,

u heard the song wobble on the d!ck?

they know what theyre talking about

Yuk. Gimme a nice firm, but soft arse over a wobbly one like gators.

platinumnk:
ElRazur . .   what do uthink of my story?

I think they are nice, they make me wanna stroke your bush like a female pussie cat.

platinumnk:
lol oh ok.

well this is a phone chat. . . drop something sexy

She do not know the concept of sexy. Trust me on that, her arse is extremely fat and wobbly.

FL Gators:
You seriously need help

Stop stalking me, I dumped your fat arse already.

Ma'am I handle mine with much precision like a Swiss watch. I tackle the fire with passion and natural instincts, paying attention to any smouldering build up. You see ma'am, action speak louder than words. In fact, there is a video demonstration readily available for this purpose. All you gotta do is ask.

My hands are on the keyboard typing this message. Do you need it to be in a specific place?

platinumnk:
mm.mmm,   my flower garden is a little dry, I waitn for the garderner to come and water me, I promise I will drink all the water


so are u rubbing yet?

How far are you? I have a hose that may do the job for you.

I would rub on YIM live video.

platinumnk:
. . . m m m proving it

thats the best time to be writing, just slide ur pants down,and insert one had in ur boxers, and rub him as u type, and i promise something will cum to mind

Woah, you are definitely[i] Squirting[/i] with ideas baby.

platinumnk:
trust, its addictive. . . wont stop till u tell me to


Dont back down! but try to remain repsectful, so far u likr the other thread, u wanna write too?

Prove it.

Yeah I would, but it would have to be tomorrow. I am just lying in bed now. . . No vex.

Love is a human feeling. Are some of you suggesting that teenagers cannot know it when they feel it?

platinumnk:
na woo oh. hes a good christian man, i couldnt do that, he'' be beggin for more, and i cant have him hooked.


what did u do in politics?

Like I said, even good christains sabi good things - abi you no be good thing? Besides, god is a forgiving god isnt>? Nah he wont be hooked, it would just be for the grades.

Nothing jare, just not backing down etc.

You dont know how to toast? In this day and age?

Here, try these simple steps.

1. Buy a toaster.

2. Buy a sliced bread

3. Unwrap toaster and plug it in the mains.

4. Unwrap bread and take two slice or so.

5.Put bread and toaster.

6.Push down the "toast button"

7. Wait for toast machine to eject slice of bread.


Congratulation, you have made your first toast.

platinumnk:
hahah. as long as they can beat the drums well well, its all good

i posted in the other thread.

the lecturer is already married, and im too busy o.


what are u doing tonight?

Who says married man no like sweet things? So you are telling me, you are too busy to do easy things that would give you excellent grades? Well, if I was you, I know what one I would pick between cramming and sleeping with the lecturer. I can tell you now that it wont be cramming.


I am just here chilling, creating wahala on nairaland - especially in politics. I heard a few people want me dead.

platinumnk:
u call me monkey abi?


I'm not doing anything but cramming for an exam, and trying to. . . .

Yeah a monkey. . . A sexy monkey that all the Gorilla wanna die for.

Cram ke? Maybe reading and understand is better. Or may be you should just sleep with the lecturer? [Some times I wish am a woman]

So talk to me Platinum monkey.

What is your plan for the weekend? Maybe we can jam or something.

I see madam Tpiah is online.

Hello Tpiah, you are looking sexy. Is that a size 18 jeans you are wearing? Your arse look "phat" in them.

I am inclined to think it is highly improbable for the following reasons.

1. Holiday swimming pools tend to have chlorine/similar chemicals in them to help control the growth of Algae. This automatically makes it very unsustainable for a sperm cell.

2. I am not sure about this, but even if there isnt chlorine, the effect of water and it's PH may prove fatal to the sperm cell.

3. The girl wasn't in an uncompromising position, so I am finding it hard to see how this could have happened.


Having said all of the above, it should be noted that stranger things have happened.