Some of una dey think say una wise but your foolishness is second to none. You dey sleep with woman and you expect her not to get pregnant? She gets pregnant and asks you your plan for her and you open your mouth to tell her you are not ready for marriage? Because you get ac and television for inside self con before you met her, na why you must use and dump her? You dey friend mad woman wey dey use suicide dey threaten you and you are still aroused? As in she even dey abuse you before going to see her people and you still went ahead to marry her? I am sure if you had seen a well behaved woman, you would have given one thousand and one reasons why you cannot marry her. If them tell una no sex before marriage, una no go hear. Na that time una libido go high to the highest level. Mr man, you never see anything. The battle has just begun. Reap the reward of your foolishness. You don buy market, gather mind enjoy am.

Of course it doesn't. But as soon as the man becomes widowed, he barely knows what to do with his life. So you see him looking for a new wife already barely three months after loosing the "useless wife". Marriage truly does not benefit men. Una go dey alright by God's grace.

You see a woman standing in front of your door and you are already sexually charged. Some of you are so cheap, tueh!!!!

dangotesmummy:
exactly.

Even the epistle wey I write sef na because I get time.too many baby men in adult male body.from their utterances you go know them.no wonder na women dey quick age for African marriage.na the wife go dey resemble the husband elder sister because as inlaws dey carry their own garbage put for the woman head,the man too dey carry him own put for the woman head.tufuaaakwa.narcisstic men go make you die 10 times before you actually die


Tuehhh

Ndi "if you love me, you will accept me the way I am". "I just need someone that will understand me". "Nobody is perfect". Make everybody just rest. Understanding fiancee say she no do again

dangotesmummy:
some of you just type without thinking.is it about just getting married or staying married? All of you are just concerned about wedding not life after wedding which is more important.

After wedding, everyone will go back to their house and face their lives while she's stuck with a baby adult (a man that is not ready to grow up or be a man)

How can a grown man of marriageable age be shamelessly staying with his family.what kind of nonsense is that.e no make sense and if he knows he cannot afford to rent a house then he clearly is not ready to marry because let's even assume the bride agreed to stay in the family house,there are still other bills

Feeding expenses for mother and child, diapers,children's school fees, clothes, home necessities for cleaning,gotv etc.so if you know that you can't afford to keep up with the bills then be single.anybody point gun to your head that you must be married?

Abi when him and the wife dey do adult activities for night,shey make the parents, family members and everybody living in the house know say husband dey off the wife pants? Marriage requires some level of privacy abeg abi he go like am if them turn the wife to family house help and he can't even complain because it's family house. You people should be using your senses.the world doesn't revolve around your ego

As for the girl she too no try.there are some things that should be concluded way before introduction not to talk about wedding.all this indecisiveness doesn't make you look like you know what you're doing and it's giving immaturity vibes.if you see baby man that is not ready to be a man, leave him with his mummy before them pour load wet no be your own for your head to carry.you never even get belle or born them don dey tell you make you go live with your inlaws.you go see shege banza.as person wey old pass you, person wey no even be your last born mate go dey talk to you anyhow and you won't be able to do shii about it because you're in their family house.yes is good as you respected yourself by making a decision that will have turned you to a nonentity but it came too late


Go and ask women who stayed in their husbands family house before they eventually moved to their own house that the husband rented.tufiaaaakwa.every problem in that house will be put on you,if God wan punish you make you go have one saucy sister in-law wey the husband don frustrate or wey never see man marry,na you go suffer for it.you go dey chop insults everyday for everything you know and don't know, every mistake you made will be magnified,you go look yourself for mirror dey ask yourself whether you're the same person.

Aside that everyone go dey monitor your belle.if you no quick get belle,lol.your guess is as good as mine.every family member go call you barren.they will mock you either in secret or to your face.the shades and body language you go dey collect.lol.

I don't even want to go further but it's a very nasty experience for a lot of women I have seen but in all Sha both the husband and the wife are immature.even if the wedding went on na immaturity and inlaw intrusion for don Break that marriage

However like other people have said, the bride's family should return everything that the groom has spent on the wedding.it doesn't make sense that you don't want the man and be holding on to his gifts

See just leave those people condemning the girl. Who no go, no know. She must have even agreed to stay there and after observing the family, the girl changed her mind. Some inlaws can be so entitled and demanding which will take a toll on their marriage. No power to write epistles abeb. All I see is a lot of men who are really not grown up and think being a man is all about having a male sex organ. The way I hate hearing a man talk about "my father's house". Who no get papa house? It's the mentality that makes them kill their siblings because of family inheritance.... Let the guy just leave first and see life outside. Haba. That guy will not move out of that house after the wedding, he will give another excuse. The girl has watched the guy and knows his mentality and reasoning and she decided to just stand her ground.
This country is too hard to add family baggage to it. Make everybody rest abeg.

Your friend is scared about the girl's family, what makes him feel his is any better? Lemme guess, because his parents cover it up right? He should actually see how the girl handles it. If she takes it as a normal thing, he should run but if she sees it as abnormal and something she must fight against, he should stand with her and pray as they both start their life afresh . But most men don't pray, they feel it's the woman that should do all the prayers in marriage. Even when seeking for life partners na woman dey pray pass. A man thinks he can just pick any woman to marry. Marriage is deep and life is spiritual. If he is spiritually capable, he should prayerfully go ahead. Most importantly, let him seek the face of God concerning it.

Some of you are just walking perverts! My goodness and you have no single shame.

Sonnobax15:

Na all these kind list of bride price dey give man instant erectile dysfunction

Did you read where they said, those were gifts from the bride's family to the couples? And not on the list for traditional rites?

Savedday2:
This kind fyn man na him dey behave like small pikin?

If only he know how that girl e tot is innocent has been jumping from one prick to the other, he will hide his face in shame.

It doesn't matter sweet heart. As far as he is concerned, she is his daughter and he is a proud father of a lawyer. If na so e take easy, run am!

dominique:


Let child molestation go and keep it in the family?

Anything to blame the woman for the wickedness unleashed to her and her daughter. More like, telling her it's her fault that her husband kicked her out. Who knows if the mother herself was abused as a child and is fighting so the same thing doesn't play out in the life of her daughter. But she is being made to look stupid and dramatic by the family of the man with who she took the vow of "for better for worse". No wonder women keep quiet when their daughters are molested because the act is trivialised and tagged as "a small thing". When that child becomes a lesbian tomorrow, she becomes labelled and booed. The society is just bleeped up gaskia.

If this is true, just get on your knees, fast and pray first for deliverance of your daughter. Pray for strength too. And pray for your husband. Trust me, it's not ordinary. Your husband has been manipulated and before you know, another woman will get pregnant before his eyes will open. Your in-law actually wants you to fight this battle alone because they know with your husband by your side, you will win. Forget about them and just concentrate on your daughter's recovery as well as yourself. Marriage is deep. The worse that can happen to anybody is to come from a manipulative family. Stop the talk! Go spiritual before you lose everything. Fast and pray

Doolove:
I've been dating a staunch Nairalander for two years, and he also introduced me to the site. While I visit once in a while, he can't go a day without scrolling through the site and at times he draws my attention to some interesting topics and we would go through the comments together. I told him that I don't like the site due to the constant bashing of women that goes on here. To my uttermost dismay he has been so influenced by the red pill movement and it has left our relationship in tatters.

I can't remember the last time I felt pampered or got treated like a woman because he doesn't want to look like a simp. There is no love in the relationship anymore because he is always too hard on me and treats me like a man. My guy hardly ever apologizes to me, if he annoys me and I try to give him the cold shoulder he ignores me completely and moves about his business like I don't even exist. He calls my two exs simps because I gisted him about how they adored me and was always scared of losing me. It hurts me that the guy I am dating doesn't value me and is ready to move on immediately as I walk out the door.

He convinced me to come stay over at his place for a while because he wanted to train me for a remote job that he got for me which I am supposed to start next month. I objected because I know how he treats me each time that I am around but he insisted so I caved in. It's been one problem to the other since I came over. He faults every single thing that I do, I wore a cloth that a guy gifted me on our anniversary and I got the scolding of my life. I got moody and told him to avoid me when he tried talking to me later that day, he simply said okay and disappeared from the house till late in the night.

He sees everything as an insult to his person, he said it's disrespectful to pick calls from guys in his presence, he would still accuse me of cheating if I go outside to pick those calls. Just two days back I was angry at him because of something he did that I didn't like so I flung his hands away when he tried to touch my cheeks and play with me, Oga stood up and started ignoring me. I was just expecting him to apologize and pamper me but he just locked up and left the house to God knows where. When he returned, I dressed up to go out with a friend and he told me not to return to his house if I leave. He treats me like a piece of furniture and won't still let me go out with people that are ready to give me attention.

This issue is making me lose my feelings for him and he doesn't even care. We hardly have sex because his touch irritates me due to his attitude towards me. If I turn down his advance once he doesn't bother to try again for days. In my previous relationships the guys always comes crawling and begging at night to have sex but this one doesn't even send, he can lock up for two weeks which makes me wonder if he is gay sometimes. He came back home very late on Friday night because he was avoiding me, I hid the food in the house because I was angry at him and he went to bed hungry. He woke up late at night to boil potatoes and woke me up in the process, I told him where I kept the food and he told me to eat it alone.

He left home by 7am yesterday for his football training only to come back by 10pm leaving me all alone in the house. I had to go out with a friend only to come back and didn't still meet him at home. He came back, took his bath and left the house again. He came back one hour later and slept on the floor. I woke him up to eat because I cooked with the money he left at home and he rejected the food citing the previous incident of me hiding food from him so I should continue cooking and eating alone. I told him that the food would waste because I already enjoyed where I went to. He just said I was disturbing him and should have gone home with the guy instead. He keeps making me feel like I am not wanted, he would tell me that he has the right to do whatever he wants because it his house but I must abide by his rules because I am a woman. He can go out and come back anytime he likes but I can't do the same, if I try it he would ask me to leave as if I am an IDP. All my complaints about how bad he was treating me fell on deaf ears, he just ignored me and slept off. He woke up this morning and is keeping to himself.

Please is this what the red pill is all about? I keep craving attention and love from my man and it's not forthcoming, I would have broken up but I really need the job he promised me while I wait for service. Is there something that I can do to salvage this relationship?
Please I am sorry for the epistle and errors, I just needed to pour out my heart somewhere.

Madam, listen and hear me well, that guy will not let you do that job o. You don't even need to live in his house to be trained . I have not heard you talk about the training when you stepped into his house, instead he is giving you drama. Are you even mentally and emotionally balanced to even concentrate on any job training? Oga wants to train you for job but needs you to stay in his house. Are you that desperate? Is God that wicked to you that He cannot give you a job without you being treated as a door mat? If he even helps you with this remote job, will he not go about bragging as if he gave you life. Pack your kaya and leave all this story abeg. Life is too far and complicated for you to journey through it with so much baggage. He has not even shown you enough pepper. By the time the thing belleful you, you go dust your slippers pick race. For now enjoy it since na im dey give you oxygen. Walk out the door and go and have peace!!!! It's none of your business if he moves on, up, down, left or right when you leave the relationship. Na relationship na, not do or die matter. Why are you women so tied to abusive and dramatic men? Hian!

She get fertility problem but you no fit comot eye from her virginity. I thought it was promiscuity that makes a woman infertile. Comot eye from that girl and let her marry someone who loves her. Else, If you deflower her with the aim of dumping her because of failure to get pregnant before marriage, you will never see those children you want to have from another woman. Some of you don't understand life sha.

Elgaxton:



This so-called man is actually a Bomboy. It's because he hasn't searched for fruit of the womb before.

And because he has not lost a loved one during child birth before.

LilMissFavvy:
Well spoken. I am surprised that people are saying she has lost her husband, my question is, what is good about a man who lacks money, character, and also beats his wife? As long as OP continues to pamper that man, he will continue to do worse. If she was the type of woman who starves him of food and nags* daily about his joblessness, he wouldn't try that nonsense*.

It's the "you denied him sex" gang that is really baffling. But it is well sha.

For every man that decided to attack a scared woman who probably did the only thing she thought was right after being beaten and humiliated by a drunk man, you people are simply mad! As in raving mad! May the likes of OP's husband befall your siblings or daughters. If you don't have money as a man, have good character. You cannot lack both and be shouting bruised ego. God punish that ego that will make you raise your hand on an hardworking woman who decided to take up the responsibilities of the home. And it's because she is doing it well, that's why he has the guts to go and drink. Nobody is advising that woman to run from the monster her husband has become till he is back to his senses. The he-goats are busy claiming she denied him sex. When he comes back smelling like a hippo after drinking, what is she supposed to do? Take her bath and lie down for him to climb?

Madam! Do you have male relatives? Put them in the know of who your husband has become, let them come and warn him not to raise his hands on you again. And be on the look out, if he doesn't change, biko carry your things and leave before he kills you and start blaming the devil. Stop feeling guilty. Else he will capitalise on that guilt and bring more drama. If he has ego, he should go and work! even if na to carry blocks for head. Real men work to provide for their family. Not going about sulking and beating their wives.

The two of you are not serious. You see Seven orphans with the eldest sister just being a little bit off age and instead of you supporting them from afar Or seeing how you can help them grow up to some level of independence, you decided to reason with your waist for what ever reason you thought was best. Then after the thing has boomeranged, you are now saying she should discard other siblings. Na So e take easy to discard siblings because of man? You don't have money, you went to impregnate an orphan with 6 sisters. Now you have added an infant to their predicament.

Then that your baby mama needs serious beating because with their condition, "man" should be the last thing on her mind. How she got pregnant for a man who is not her husband with the hope that he will take her and her sisters into his house after marriage is pure madness.

Oga stay away from those kids let them find their life abeg. If your daughter is the problem, please take her away and take care of her yourself. Leave them alone. People should learn to stop adding drama to people's drama.

This is not about you being a simp or whatever. This is about you not being able to see that what those girls need is someone to guide then through life. Just let them be. Na beg i dey beg you.

Valoromega:
Anytime I have issues with my wife, maybe it's about another girl she always says what if she does her own too how would (mind you I have never been with another woman since we got married. I might just flirt around with some other girls once in a while via chat)
She has this mentality that she's beautiful and young and she usually gets a lot of attention and I think it's getting to her head. Because most times she usually talks about doing her own too and I think she has the tendency to cheat If I do something to her like cheating.

I told her that would be the end of our marriage

Ehn cheat na, make your eye clear you. Mr "I just flirt once in a while with some other girls". Shebi you are the man, so cheat. You have the licence to cheat. Allow us to rest Biko.

makeherscream:
am not scared to ask I even jokingly ask her if it was her side boo that bought it for her , she said no that she saved both the little I have been giving to her and the ones she's getting from her dad , am just thinking how she was able to save 97k to buy a phone 🤔

And you came out to disrespect your relationship by asking silly questions? E dey pain you say she buy 97k phone. Meanhwhile na one 30k itel you been wan give am. Or sorry o, you liked the fact that she did not have a phone while you had one so it will make you feel like kingkong(at least that gave you some sense of security as no man can chat her since she does not have a phone) Or could it be you wanted to break up with her and you have been waiting for her to ask you for a phone so as to abuse her that she is entitled and use it as an excuse to dump her? Oga the babe don buy phone o, if you are not a bad belle, close your mouth and stop embarrassing your self.
If we check well, the babe phone cost pass the one wey you dey use. Pele ehn.

I know you will still break up with her o, because e pain you well that she is not at your mercy before she solves her life's problem. Na una dey find independent woman, na una still dey suspect once they refuse to Look up to una for anything. No worries, someone better will come her way.


Enjoy your suspicions while she is still yours. Ndo o

43Ronin:


you see, South easterners and South southerners are not like yoruba people. marriage is a big deal to those people and hence they can't just mind their biz when it comes to things like marriage and burial. There are customs and traditions that must be followed, and one of them is getting information or asking questions. I even heard that for akwa ibom there's a lot of spiritual stuffs involved in their marriage that] could be detrimental to either couple. So stop littering the tread with baseless advice abi you also got daddy issues

A lot of them do not understand. People lose their lives or are even scarred for life because of negligence during marital and burial rites. And someone is here telling the guy to go on without the biological father. The fiancee's mum does not even know that she can lose her life for wanting the step dad to take the place of the biological father during marital rites. Tradition is tradition o. It hurts most times but it is what it is.

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.


Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

You said you are from Aks. You of all people should know that tradition is no respecter of persons. The woman's biological father is the one to give out his daughter in marriage. He and his kinsmen are the ones to give you the marriage list. It may be painful for the step dad but if he really loves his wife and your fiancee, he will give to caeser what belongs to caeser. The girl is not his. He will always reap rewards from her but this is a very delicate situation and you cannot afford to be careless. Wokeness and English cannot cancel traditions.....your fiancee does not understand the repercussions of what she is telling you to do.

Your guy dey cheat. He just wants to confirm if you both are in the cheaters club.

Looter100:
shey na your marriage were

Pele my dear. You go dey alright. Very soon Bubu go leave office and you wont need to lash out your frustration on everyone.

Some of you have no human feeling at all. Imagine how the majority of you are blaming the woman as if she did wrong by coming out to say what her problem is. You think it is easy to work, come back to do house chores and not be tired. Did you read where she said she used to like sex and she was not always like that? Na to just carry phone begin dey type rubbish....

Madam talk to your husband and let him know how it is with you. He is your husband not a masquerade. You should be able to let him know how disturbed you are. If you need help with the house chores maybe you both can work things out. You both can also try spicing your sex life up instead of making it a routine thing because it may be you are probably bored of the sex.

Instead of being disturbed about him getting a side schick or whatever, you both should really be bothered about why you no longer like sex as before and try to work around it. Leave all these ones threatening you of how you should let him marry another wife.


Na wetin dem dey tell singles be this. Sex is overrated. When you are not married it looks like if you don't have sex, you are going to die. After marriage, you see sex and dont know what to do with it.

cedricksly:
if I was a lady u will be the very last person I would date... Imagine the nonsense talk, I have also told her severally that she is not my standard blah blah blah... Nonsense talk... Na this ur rude nature and standard go make u finally get married to "regrets"

A lot of ladies really have low self esteem. They take all manner of nonsense and gibberish talk from men because they wanna get married.

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

Talking about standards, a man who will open his mouth and talk down a fellow human in the name of "we are not of the same standard" has no standard. Read that again! Na the mumu girl I blame. E be like say you get one small car, na why her brain no dey work well. You have told her off and yet she is still sticking around. You are looking for how to take that her virginity, get her pregnant and then dump her in the name of standards.

You are not even talking about intelligence here or values, I doubt if those things matter to you. What if she gets a job in a good school tomorrow or better still God blesses her and she starts a school of hers? Mr standard, block the girl and rest. Cased closed!

A lot of you men just come online and talk trash just to belittle women and it is really not your fault. Underskirts are for transparent clothes. You wear it under a transparent dress so the partings of your thighs are not visible when walking or when your legs are apart. Every underwear has its function. A tight cannot replace an underskirt. Underskirts are more advisable to be worn as women so your lower body can air out the heat coming out from it. As a matter of fact tights are not advisable for women. It is so hot and heats the whole place up. Some women wear pants and wear tights before even wearing trouser and a little wonder why they won't smell or stink. But the same men that complain about women's privates having odour are the ones coming out here to talk about underskirts being outdated. Some of una sha

My problem is with that person you call friend. How is he your friend please? You yourself are emotionally immature. You cannot meet a person for few weeks or months and start calling them names like "my best friend","my missing rib", "my betterhalf". You trust too much sir. And what is it with introducing your girl to your colleagues? Don't you have boundaries? By now, you should know its time to call it quits, withdraw yourself from that relationship. It's over already.

Ikennaford:

14 year old don mature na, they've already started having sex, most 14 years old, their boobs and ass is Big already and they love older guys,some stupid hypocrites will start calling me paedophile now, you guys are welcome

May all your girl children be raped at fourteen years. Amen

You cheated on your wife and broke your marriage vows , then made a post about Okafor's law bragging about how the sex was sweet. Today you are talking about what to do about the result of the Okafor's law experiment. Don't do anything bro. You can pretend it doesn't matter. If possible, take the secret to your grave that you possibly fathered a child with your ex and blame it on Okafor's law my brother. Kudos.

pocohantas:


Very possible. There is one here, when he is seeing someone, we won’t hear the last of how she is special. She cooked this, cooked that. They went to Pluto, dinner at Venus.

The second she leaves him, it is like where they unchained a Rottweiler. He would login to start insulting evening newspapers. I can tell he is currently single.

Omo this comment got me laughing hard . Small stew weh person post, vawulence don occur.

If the girl is from a certain tribe in Nigeria, If she dies in his hand, hope he knows he will still marry her. That same money wey e no wan collect marry her while living, he will collect it and use it to marry her corpse and still fund the burial. The reason why he is still struggling may be tied to the fact that the union has not been blessed. You cannot carry someone's daughter and put in your house without the normal rites and expect things to be working well. Before God and man, he is wrong. At worse, if his pride will not allow him take the offer, let him consider the money that will be spent on his wedding by the younger brother as a loan and try repaying it installmentally if that will make him feel better.