₦airaland Forum

joshepade:
His bones are weak already

Essenza01:
Jobless husband diaries!!

Here are some guidelines for unemployed husbands with working wives., when you read through with an open mind, you would see it's not she looking down on you, it's just you being smart to be able to have your sanity and getting some advantages while praying for a change.. Hang in there guys, you are not alone, tables turn... you would be fine.

1 - Never discuss your predicament beyond the normal and never show weakness in front of your wife.. "she dont want to see hopelessness"..

2 - buy a lot of noodles, you would be needing it a lot, especially during your strong head periods, you dont win most fights, most fights end with "Oya buy it naa" that's usually when you add the convo to your lost battles ..

3 - your meals majorly come in two options if any
Rice or noodles?
Beans or noodles?
Eba or noodles?

Semo or pounds is too stressful, dont opt to make ... stress was only the surface reason given to you..

4 - sex is usually delayed, when ever you see one just accept and be ready for maybe max two position change, some styles may be banned..

5 - dont come home drunk, I repeat.. dont come home drunk..you remember the pictures of samloco playing "jobless old drunk" in movie scenes... you look exactly like them to her..

6 - some eatable and chewy chewy groceries stops being in the fridge because you are home most-times and eats to chase boredom.. there is always a secret stash in her room for groundnuts, sharp biscuits, cashew nuts, sweets, etc.. she knows you know, take reasonably

7 - you are at your lowest, dont bring friends doing well too close home, otherwise you might get depressed from comparison

8 - in your many many ideas, you know broke guys reason business ideas like Warren buffet , always sieve out the good ones, because telling her some kind stupid stupid ideas would make you look jobless and stupid also.

9 - the best way to dodge Bill's is to watch your words, avoid some topics, you need to be one step or two ahead everytime.. e.g TV shows, movies, food, clubs etc...
- TV shows - dstv bill comes up
- Movies - cinema bill comes up
- Food - restaurant and taking out comes up..

10 - Do house chores, pick mopping... it's easier, you only start when she is done sweeping and dusting, she goes to bath, you zig-zag and get back to watching (how do they do it) ... use water, avoid bubbles on tiles.. you would redo that work even if its next week..

11 - dont leave the sink messy, especially on work days when you are home job hunting and she is out hustling, bro it's an important rule from a man to a man..

12 - with your many insecurities and the devil trying to use you to bring out your alpha Male, pick your fights... yes they would come, but there is an extent to which a broke man fights and argues..

13 - you would owe her cash a lot, she knows deep down that money is not coming back, but be ready to be dragged about it to pay for essentials you cant do without.. she would pay eventually when you have curled away asking God why.. allow her have it, it's one of her high moments.

14 - in your midnight cries, yes "midnight cries" is most times once a week or twice sha, depending on the days activities... dont disturb her sleep...

15 - be transparent, remove password from your phone, laptops etc... if she is being faithful, infidelity is not something you want attached to "cheating jobless old man"... you cant be broke and cheating, they dont work together..

16 - read, read, read... you have to pass her in something, current affairs, global happenings, worlds economy etc... it is an edge when you throw small small insults inside conversations "so you dont know kyari is dead" those are one of your few high moments..

17 - early morning gisting with her while she baths and makes up, makes her happy.. you can lend some money during those hours.. those are your bankable hours, if you want some extra cash, offer to drop her at work, that's if it's not your duty already oo..

18 - at all, at all, try to provide for fuel for generator, darkness and a man being in the house dont usually go together.. you might start having complex..

19 - always use your car weekends, thats if you have not sold hers and she is using yours. When you use your car weekends for functions not personal waka, she chips or outrightly buys fuel that you can manage during the week for your job hunting activities..

20 - look good, work out and have your CV handy. you need to look the role she currently tells people you are doing.." Frank is okay, he is inbetween jobs, but trying out some ideas with friends".. if the friends ask for your CV, always have it handy, delay is dangerous...

21 - dont be gluttonous, eat moderately like a normal human being, if you finish your meals for the week by wednesday, be ready to fall back to your noodles (refer to rule 2) and yes you would come up with different flavours of home made seasonings only you can eat..

22 - try to curtail your mood swings, she is the only one entitled to it, you need to be happy with smiles when she is making conversations..

23 - make business calls or pretend to make business call.. it's important, it gives her hope you are connecting.. "my brother me and you know say na 10k you dey shout like that for"

24 - go grocery shopping with her, you get to use the opportunity to throw drinks into the cart and remove face immediately, if your eyes jam.. you would return that drink ooo..

25 - if she sends you a link from work, read, watch or chat her to discuss with her, otherwise "what are you doing, that you didn't reply my message follows" , what you were doing must have financial gains ooo never use "I was sleeping" as excuse... dont even try it..

26 - dont call her family, send text message if you can.. dont let them remember you ooo..

27 - during your few chances of sex, dont shoot in, "I repeat", dont shoot in... you may find yourself outside by 1am looking for postinol 2
. the stress in looking for the drug would surpass whatever you managed to enjoy.

28 - be ready for "mistakes" of giving you cash in front of people , it's not everytime she remembers to call you to the corner or give you her card.. it's one of those moments you want the ground to swallow you up.. but my brother "dem no dey use shame swallow spit".. it wont last forever.

Let's me rest here first and continue later... but in all, I love my wife... she is that woman that has your back 100%..

The table has turned for me and am back to my responsibilities, it was a tough period, I learnt a lot, from Anger management to laws of power, it's not a fun place to reside in for a long time....

Most especially:
Marry your friend,
marry your partner in crime,
Marry your day1 niga,
your Gee... when you do, no matter the circumstance, you have some level of peace, some room to pickup and some encouragement to guide you through.

Iamlawal:
Mens and sex

Na sex go kill u all

sholay2011:
I disagree

sholay2011:
'Thunderbolt' by Mainframe starring Uche Obi-Osotule, Buky Ajayi, Lanre Balogun, Ngozi Nwosu( may God grant her good health)and directed by Tunde Kelani.

'Ti oluwa nile', 'Saworoide' and 'Koseegbe' all by Mainframe pictures. Those guys make sense!

hush15:
That will never happen! That move by either justice idris or fg who is the prosecuting counsel was either intentional or mere stupidity out of conflict of interest on the part of the judge. How can you judge a case as both a federal high court judge initially and then as an appeal judge later in during the same proceedings and hearings? When I first read the post on a different thread about the judgement, the first thing that ran through my mind is how come this guy appealed at supreme court straight? Where is the appeal court into his case? Only to realised a stupid judge and a prosecutor tried playing two judges, one man.

But looking at it a holistically, it was either a deliberate technical move to open way for Kalu or the Judge was just being stupid. Also the prosecuting counsel were just foolish and incompetent or compromised. Its just common sense cos even me that didn't study law understands this. At the end of it all, the case will just be reassigned to one that will acquit him or fg will no longer push the case for prosecution till the time of blackmail suffice again under this present regime.

SmartProf:
From what I read up there, the supreme Court has not acquitted him, but only ordered that the case be reassigned for trial

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr
Absolute nonsense

Acute disrespect for Aliyu Mai-Bornu and Dr Clement Isong.
Damnnn. No respect for the naira anymore
Use something else to show your painting skills

Lostz:
what do you expect from a dullard Mr Adegboruwa?



we know he have nothing to offer but some voted for him due to selfish interest and 2023

Unekwunice:
I don't trust any of them , when the ball is not in your court you criticize the style of play of your opponent . most of these people have not been able to run their communities properly but make the loudest noise.

I like his courage but when you look at a serious world issue like Covid 19 and considering our state of our health care which was messed up by these same bunch, the best measure is instituting a strick lockdown.


God bless you sir, left to my opinion I don't think lifting the lockdown is the best solution right now , yeah I agree everyone is hungry even me myself na God but despite that I am really scared if the lockdown is lifted so the aftermath won't be what we did not hope and plan for ( we no just get leaders and it's so unfortunate)

Nigeria will not be able to cope with the reverse effect of what might come out of this suggested option. We know we as citizens will not adhere to the social distance directives

Unfortunately the present Government has failed in administering the necessary palliatives expected of them , they play politics with everything. At the end of day , a few people will cashout at the expense of peoples lives .

Good thing is that Covid 19 is no respecter of person.

Make una carry on.

cenaman:
Be a landlord and be free from such embarrassing notice.

sooperrescue:
Once in a year for recently used cars but twice a year for cars over five years old in the country

asamwababy:
Yes