wirinet: Its a faulty financial plan. Financial plan is what will determine the general family operations.
What then happens if both parties decide to travel to Abuja on a joint social engagement according to this financial plan? The husband will fly with Arik Airlines while the wife will take Greener Lines Motors, as someone on an 80k salary cannot afford to pay 60k for the round trip. The OP will do better than to look for someone with. Similar income level with his mindset.
It wasn't imposed on her. There was room for negotiations but she chose to run away.
franchasng: God Himself observed man and noticed that even though man had everything he needed materially, he was still lonely whenever he returns back to his abode after the days work, so God decided to create a helpmate and companion for the first man Adam.
So the first purpose of a woman in a man's life is companionship and not to help the man to create wealth or share family burdens or expenses. The woman is firstly there to keep you company emotionally. That's why men all over the world are ready to spend their last kobo to get a woman to make love to, it is nature at work not that women have more emotional control than men, it is nature that made men emotionally vulnerable than women such that a man melts at the sight of woman's naked body but most women will even get irritated at the sight of a man's naked body unless they are already emotionally attached to that man somehow.
Me I am happy to be the sole provider in my marriage.
Oga what are you saying?
You said God decided to create a "helpmate and companion" for man and you said the main purpose God created a woman is companionship and not helpmate.
@bolded You probably earn around a 7figure salary.
wirinet: Any other lady would be scared away by his contribution proposal. Only desperate women with their biological clock running out with enter marriage under such conditions.
As I said earlier the OP had no set goals for the marriage, his only concern was how much physical cash he will have to spend during the marriage. Number of children was never discussed. Their prospective careers and ambitions was never discussed. How to deal with extended family members were never discussed. How to raise the kids when they are very young and vulnerable was not discussed. If he intends to have three children in quick succession, the first 10 years would be very demanding on the woman. I hate leaving my children with househelps/ relations, due to the numerous horror stories I have actually witnessesed and read online.
Most people have a wrong impression of marriage and that's why most marriages nowadays fail within the first 10 years. In marriage two is supposed to become one. You finances should become one instead of two. The standard of living of both individual should be the same. The two incomes should be aggregated and the living expenses and lifestyle should be calculated on the total join income. The you contribute this, I contribute that approach is too individualistic.
Ok. What happens if the man is sacked and the woman finds a job that pays much more? Would you still insist on the initial contributions or you demand a new contributions formula? What happens if the man has an accident or has a debilitating illness or temporarily incapacitated?
The way the OP broached the issue is very wrong.
From the onset he called it "financial plan", not general family operations.
BigBashiru: Then ur living in a delusion. Men are simply stupid while women used marriage contract and bible verses to their advantage.... in return for provision men are entitled to:
1. Youth and fertility. No 34 year old wives as of their wedding date pls. 2. No nagging, quarrels and a peaceful home. 3. A good character and bringing up the kids in a godly way. 4. Sex on demand or the agreement that he can get sex from his girlfriends.
Kwinesther: As a single lady, nobody made it compulsory for her to save 20k monthly for vacation and other expenses. And is going on vacation compulsory? Why can't he sit her down so that they can plan those things together? Why excluding her?
He drafted his own part of the "contract" and presented it to her. It's left for her to negotiate and challenge it with hers. This is what a woman who loves him should do. She never loved him hence the reason she ran away quickly calling him stingy.
ejieddy: My brother, I just married recently and I can tell you that finance is a very big matter in marriage. No doubt, it is the responsibility of the man to cater for the family but the woman must be willing to support in every way. Any woman not ready to release her money or having the mentality that my money is my money and your money is our money is not fit for marriage. Pls don't even think about it because even of you have millions now, things can quickly change o. You might be down in no time and you will need your wife to support you. If she can't cover you, then you are in trouble. You can just kill yourself or somebody. Also, there is a better way of doing things. Your approach is not bad, but it shouldn't be too rigid. Allow for flexibility. When there are laws, there will be sin and quarrels. I prefer trust and understanding to strict rigid laws. You guys can still get back together and talk it out because that's needed. Ask people who are married and have OK marriages for advice but know that no two homes are the same. You must find out what works for you guys. In the end, as important as money is, your happiness and your wife's happiness is much important.
ivolt: How did you arrive at 30K? Perhaps, you think the taste of a 300K earner is the same as that of those on minimum wage. As your income increase, so does your spending. Her salary cannot even cover some couple's NEPA bill.
She will have 0 Naira at the end of every month.
She had the option of challenging what he's proposing, afterall they're not married yet but she chose to run away instead.
zedegit: I don't think you were considerate to be honest with you.
She has her own financial plans and would likely wish to have savings for her personal use and family upkeep because girls still uphold their families after marriage.
You just want to subdue her unnecessarily. It will take you time to marry and if any girl should agree to that Sharia law, it's only a matter of time before she calls off your bluff especially after child birth.
he never said she should spend all her salary on the family. She earns 80k, is 30k too much to contribute?. He earns 300k and will be responsible for house rent, car, all the hard food stuffs, contribute 4x of what he's asking her to bring on their children's education. By the time you do all the calculation of his contribution he will have little or nothing left for himself not forgetting that he may have siblings who are in school that he might be paying tuition fees for.
You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.
Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.
If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.
He isn't begging her to stay na.
So he's supposed to carry all bills from house rent, feeding, car, education, health, vacation, light and water bills even down to toiletries on his head all because he's marrying a female?. What will happen to her own salary?.
bigpicture001: Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.
Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..
The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head
I honestly wish I can meet you in person and give you a very big hug and then buy you a very cold beer. You just made the men folk proud!!!.
I hate it when ladies feel all financial responsibilities lies with the man while they are supposed to spend their money on themselves and look pretty only.
MangekyoAlt: why have they not transfer listed this lukaku? As a chelsea fan, this is the biggest disrespect I've seen from a player since that snake Courtois! Mariana should offload him to inter for whatever price they're willing to pay. Always blaming tuchels tactics, when it's obvious he is the one that needs to work on his poor touches and finishing!
Meanwhile, If lukaku tried this nonsense with pep, Klopp or even Arteta, he'll end up like aubameyang Tuchel too calm
BuyAndSellStuff: Oga leave all these career growth nonsense and take the higher paying job.
You use it as a stepping stone to apply for better jobs in 6-9 months time. Employers are not really expecting much specialization from you as a graduate hire (less than 3 years work experience). All they need is to know that you can think and have an idea of how a corporate setting works.
If you take the 70k job, you may find yourself always struggling to meet up with your personal needs and this will have an adverse effect on your output in that telecoms job. You will not even be able to free your head and achieve the things you want to do in the job, let alone your personal life.
Take the 100k job, stay for about 6-9 months and apply for new ones. You will get.
Career path thingy is for when you have done 2-3 years of corporate work. Then you can go for Masters and start aligning your career the way you want.
Would you rather do a job you love and you have rest of mind with no mental stress with a bit lesser pay or the one you dislike where there's no future in it but a little bit higher pay?
ogmask: Good way to start his new year. Please get your reinstatement on time and continue to kill all of them both the ones pretending to be your colleagues and the ones in the forest.
They will send him to the heat of the battle then assassinate him and blame boko haram thereafter.
yuping: Stop using money to chase woman what you will attract is nuisance and oga you did not forgive her you just settle for her like that. Chase that goat away, this is not about you being broke, a woman who abandoned is own baby.
This is the part that annoyed me the most in the post. She knew he went for an interview but left the baby alone only to return by 7pm. I can't keep such woman anymore.
Please be strong. It isn't always greener in marriages. Meanwhile, one thing I will never support is promiscuity....but a question is: are you working harder?
By harder I mean endeavouring to provide for your family...since you have just a son?
Sometimes, it may be you are working hard but it isn't paying much. What to do? Work smart. Work and freelance on other jobs to get some extra money.
Responsibility are setting in. Don't seek people to manage you. Just be average.
Be strong bro.
I believe you read where he said things have improved 10x better it was before?, meaning he is trying his best by the day.
Lamanii22: There's this one that would be chatting my husband sef, telling him to send her money that she wants to travel blah, blah, blah, she even called him asking for how to get to eko idumota..... It wasn't even in the night, during the day ooo, I told him if she was his ex or anything, he said they didn't date for long or something, I outrightly told him to stop talking to her, I believe talking to an ex or something can lead to something which is why I blocked all my exes numbers....
So you agree that the guy was right to be suspicious?. Human beings are not to be trusted 100% anymore.
Romance › Re: Give Me Tips On How To Hold A No Sex Relationship Till Marriage by enonche85(m): 11:45am On Jan 04, 2022
