₦airaland Forum

Israel5:
Okay. Thanks. Getting a housemaid is not necessary for me o. Where I wan get am sef? My wife will not want another girl in the house o. And she doesn't want any of her relatives to come to the house either. She has trust issues. So we're where we are. I'm learning the ropes of a man that wants peace. Lol

It's not necessary for you but your wife knows it's necessary as the burden of care is obviously on her from what I can perceive in the way you write hence the need to downgrade the girl to a public school to serve as a maid.

You want peace indeed. We're not there with the both of you but we know that you'll DEFINITELY do her bidding.

Why doesn't she want a maid? And if you can't afford to keep her and a maid in terms of cost, send her back.

I'll continue to say that husbands of women that maltreat children in their care are the enablers. What kind of man can't rule his home and ensure no classism in his home....a man isn't about bills paying and if he can't LEAD his home, he's less of a man.

The person that said older siblings took care of younger ones, it depends. What does a child know about caring for a newborn?

I'm so pained for the girl as she may be asked to drop out of school till the baby walks.
Go to church, and you see the woman with a child looking unkempt carrying her baby....

Why not mention the name of the person?

And how come the GCEO cannot assert his authority to tame this person if true.

Is it at Mowe or Ibafo?

My first attempt was not so good as I didn't clean him well and the nurse mentioned it when she came to bath him the next morning.

My husband was the one that taught me how to wear our son the diapers while I was on the bed recovering from the stitches as he was going to go home to get me things for the following day.

You were getting such amount and still dated that guy.....abeg tell us something believeable

Baronthecelebri:
Was she not with a weapon, she's not train

What kind of insensitive question is this

Are they always armed?

May she rest in perfect peace.

Wike's style.....

He'll loose his relevance in NNPP.

pocohantas:
Hahahahahaha! Your mum sef.
Women are just too dramatic. Naso my mama dey see demons everywhere and she no dey ever see am in her family. Only in my father's side.😂😂😂

Thank God I am not in that church.
They would have counted me among the marine spirits because of my ways.

😄😄😄

pocohantas:
Everything evil, una carry am put for woman body. Marine spirit, witch, spirit husband.
Yet women just get block head. Na them go church pass to donate for pastors.

The table was only shaking but you came with an axe to bring it down....

One time in church my deacon said "women own the church" while asking for support for building the church. Today he said women should sweep the church when younger churches have departments responsible for maintaining the arrangement and cleaning of the church.

Like you rightly stated, na we dey fall and scatter chair during revival services and men no dey fall. Years ago, my mum told a lady not to fall on her as she started those movements during a worship service, I just weak.

godofuck231:
He must have endured horrors with her, women don't gift men for nothing, its seen in his tears

Are you speaking from personal experience? You know him personally right.

They say we give boxers and singlet and we've upgraded to a duplex and they're still foaming in the mouth.....

Is Hellanus saying that they're being proactive?

Why not replicate same on Jumat days?

Telling people to leave by 6 AM for church is insensitive.

PerfectStranger:
She must be sleeping on a mat. If she get mattress na red flag

You single too? On same mission like me? If you meet the standards then wat are we waiting for

Are you sure that mat isn't luxury, why not bare floor?

I'm married and have since completed my mission.

Standard ke, you wey be red flag....

Were they waiting for DJT to negotiate peace?

What of Israel, Ukraine....

PerfectStranger:
Not yet but of age and still searching

No wonder.

Make sure she meets the standard of the African society oooo. No royal chair, and must be squatting in a face me I face you room with friends.....

pocohantas:
Please part ways with her. The children will be fine as far as you two coparent.

Once she leaves, stay single and enjoy your life. Men do not even benefit from marriage. Just see how this one is stressing you over small issue you thought has been resolved.

I wish you the best.

Has NL made you a defacto red piller? How do you come up with responses that gives aura for aura?

Pacesetter123:
Your cousin leaving her lucrative job for a teaching job in Calabar if that's where her husband stays wasn't a bad idea.At least she was still working and so not a liability.
Wot really makes me sad in that story is childlessness in their union.I feel so sad as if I knew them in person.
But sometimes life is like that.So,she shouldn't have accused her mother or anybody.
The best thing should have been to trust in God as a Christian that she is if all medical solutions were defied by the situation.
I still believe God will help them and give them children of their own if at all they are still together as husband and wife.


Then concerning if it's abomination for a single lady to acquire those luxury for herself and live very comfortably.The answer is no, it's not abomination.
But just that our African society is wired very differently from what it's obtainable in some other climes.
Though it looks and sounds so abnormal even to me,but what the woman was saying is the reality in our society and I don't think it's gonna change anytime soon no matter the level of educational attachments by both men and women in society.
Such weird way of thinking about a well-to-do single lady will still persist and it's almost becoming cultural.

The reality of the Afican society which isn't progressive shouldn't be accepted and then become a culture.

It's our duty to shift the culture to an acceptable one that helps the women dream big and not have limitations.

As regards my cousin whom you said it's fine for her to be a teacher bla, bla.....She graduated from a private university with a science degree and her brothers were working in an IOC, Union Bank, Zenith Bank and the immediate elder a manufacturing coy and the mum retired from an IOC....please tell me as a parent if you'll be fulfilled......she stopped receiving visitors, family.....the story get as e be.

pocohantas:
My friend working in a bank in SS rejected a promotion that involved her moving to HQ Lagos because of her "fiance". Today they have also broken up and she finally moved to Lagos. I have seen this happen to even my aunties. No be today women start to m**u for man.

Why are we always at the sacrificing end when it comes to prioritizing men over our growth but the men wouldn't think twice when choosing us over their growth.

PerfectStranger:
Trust me having those furniture is red flag. You can discard them so you stay marriageable

You're funny....are you married?

I don't think it's strictly an Igbo thing.

I knew someone who wanted to marry a pretty lady from the middlebelt back then but he was told he'll train her siblings....my guy ran and eventually married an Igbo princess....

What value does renaming bring to the populace?

A way to distract us from pressing issues. In years to come, it'll still be renamed again by another person.

Freshtruth:
This next director go thief tire dangonte go dey focus on his refinery

And his daughter will allow it happen?

May his soul RIP.

She obviously inherited the property but now what legacy is she going to leave for her children.

We don't those from there for tenants even when a background check can prove that they're peaceful but no...

nwirinedu:
When they told me their women were agbero I thought it was a joke. This one pass Ibibio women.

Ibibio women ke, wetin we do you to put us in this basket mbok

Happy birthday to your beautiful wife.

What happened to dating older ladies in their late 20s to early 30s doing well like you?

They can't be CONTROLLED right

We're here to read the outcome in years to come

Pacesetter123:
You have a point there.
The lady giving the advice also has a point too.
Yes,she will attract men of "substance" as you explained but most at times men with such "big pockets" are not many due to present economy situation of our country.
So in the process of waiting for such men of high financial standard,she might delay her marriage more than necessary cos such men are few.
Take for instance,if a lady stays in 2 bedroom flat that cost maybe 700k per anum with good Italian couch,65" Samsung Curve smart TV,2 big freezers,Panasonic AC unit in each of the room and parlour,etc and the young man that is in love with her which she is equally in love with him is only able to afford a one bedroom flat of about 400 --500k, with maybe 42" LG TV and less cost couch,do you think such a lady will want to lower her standard by leaving her 2 bedroom flat to go and stay with the guy in 1 bedroom flat after their marriage?
Of course,she will not.She will feel that if she as a lady can pay 700k for 2 bedroom flat then you as a man that wants to marry her should be able to afford 3 bedroom flat of about 1.something million naira.
So that means she will missed the man despite the fact that she love him and he has met her other criteria except the financial standard.
And if she misses such men like 5,do you know the age that will land her?
So the summary of wot de woman is saying is that,to find a man that will surpassed the financial standard she has already set for herself will be difficult cos we don't have many of such men that are still single.
And other men who are averagely well to do but not up to that her level will be feeling intimidated to approach her for marriage even though she would have loved to marry them if they have approached her.
But where is the courage to approach her for marriage?

Let's assume she doesn't spend on the interior of her house,nut she buys a land, builds has funds in mutual funds, stocks and other investment vehicles, don't you think that when she looks at her networth she'll still desire a man who's on that scale or more.

I have a former supervisor whose dad refused her to rent a place or drive a car to be marriageable. She was shuttling Akute to V.I daily. My madam married late still.....

Most Nigerian men cannot tolerate a successful lady. My cousin left GSK where she was a marketer with official car and relocated to Calabar and became a teacher in the name of marriage....till date no child and at some point accused her mum one of my favorite aunt of being a witch before the mum died.

Ladies are still getting married every Saturday and other days sha...

Why should I live like a PAUPER because I want to attract a man? This life that's not promised, we're here today and may leave tomorrow so why not live it to the fullest.

Our counterparts in saner climes are going on vacations touring the world and ordinary rent of 400k and royal chair is an abomination for a single hardworking lady.

luminouz:
It's always about standards for y'all...not love, shared goals or even interest in being a good wife and mother...it's always superficial stuffs and you wonder why men are not coming?

By designing the interior of my house as a spinster to suit my needs, it devoids me of falling in love, being a good wife, mother..... you're funny sha....

Who told you men aren't coming?

Fortune109:
You clearly don't understand her...

You that understands her, please explain to us here.

HEAVEN4444:
Hmmm ok but I understand where she was coming from because I have lived it but it's just that black people are a people of baggage and loads. When you travel everyone travels light except black people. You will see one person with 8 potmato . And so the concept of minimalism is strange, and most especially for a person who knows they are at an INTERIM point in their lives that is transitory and not permanent and know they will be moving and so they live LIGHT like they are CAMPING so that when it's time to move out it's an EASY PROCESS. As it is now when she is moving out it will be very stressful with all these things you let her buy

What happens to selling them or gifting them out when it's time to move?
Wait o, does this apply to single ladies when they japa?