₦airaland Forum

#WhenAliensMeetNigerians

Alien space ship lands in Nigeria,Nigerian officer flags down the space ship,asks: "where is your driver's license?"

#WhenAliensMeetNigerians Alien space ship crashes into Nigeria,Nigerians rush to the scene to scoop fuel

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DictatorZAR:
Palm wine clouding up your Igbo small brain as usual.
Just admit you tried to spread a lie about your wheat production and I'll rest my case. Tell me do you produce more citrus fruits then SA to or are you gonna lie again.

Bigot,so every Nigerian is igbo?,you obviously have an unhealthy obssession for igbo people,borne out of watching too many nollywood movies.
Nigeria is 2nd or 3rd citrus producer in Africa.

DictatorZAR:
Punk


http://www.tv360nigeria.com/house-of-reps-members-exchange-blows-over-leadership/
This is just the APC

I didnt claim that our senate dont fight,what i said was that they dont molest the president.

DictatorZAR:
You came and made a claim that you are Africa's largest wheat producer not us, we only corrected your blatant fraudulent assertions.

Like I said who cares about cassava, definitely not us here down in Southern Africa.

Tell me is Cassava in global terms more important then wheat.

Lol,cassava makes us huge amount of cash,who cares if it is percieved to be "less important" by a fat dumb south african?

mzilakazi:
We can't help it if we are westernized.

hahahahaha..I cant laugh,a country that doesnt even have a foreign policy,talking about westernization.
Exporting wheat doesnt make you westernized.

DictatorZAR:
Go look at your own Senate and see how many times they have beaten each other up in the bad old days of GEJ. Google is your friend or should I post the Senate fist fights myself.

Our senate does not assault the president,they keep their fist fights and brawls between themselves like any other advanced parliament.
It is only in SA that parliamentarians challenge the president to a duel in view of the public.

mzilakazi:
Sorry we don't eat anything on that list except beans and soya beans but we produce all of that ourselves.
SA has the most advanced agricultural industry in Africa. Nigeria is only revolutionising their agriculture now.

Clearly you guys dont know good food even if it is shoved under your collective noses.
Nigeria has a matured subsistent agricultural sector.
Yes,we are revolutionarizing our agricultural sector; because we want to increase our existing capacity.But by international standard,our agricultural sector is very strong.

DictatorZAR:
Ho do I explain this to a simpleton f@ucktard who try so hard to act smart yet don't understand simple things.
Show me countries outside of west africa who use cassava as a staple diet other then in your own region.
Almost all the things you listed are not high earning or yielding produce. Most of the things you produce are mostly for domestic use.
So the fact remains SA produce more than 10x the amount of wheat than Nigeria

hahahahahaha....cassava bread and fufu is making waves in many western countries and China.
If you want to know what 'fufu' is,check any {oxford} dictionary for contemporary english.
Cassava flour is currently being exported by Nigeria to many foreign countries: go to google search engine,type "cassava flour" and see for yourself.
Cassava alone contribute $1billion to Nigerian treasury per year; check latest NBS report to confirm it yourself.
wheat?,we produce enough wheat to sustain local demand.

Iblawi1:
I guess what is confusing this South African man is the word producer and the other word exporter.

NIGERIA'S population is almost 4 times that of South Africa and we consume most of them locally and export the rest.

South Africa might be the largest exporter but not largest producer.

@Evarn just try to understand them, you have to break things down for them to understand cos there brain is not as complex as you think and that is why other African get better jobs in there country than their citizens

Two bottles of orijin for you!!.You actually understand what is confusing these dingy dunderheads; they dont know the difference between "largest producer" and "largest exporter"....hahahahaha,they think largest exporter means largest producer!.

DictatorZAR:
Such a small over populated country with so many ungovernable ethnically divided states.

Lol,you reek of ignorance.
The North Central alone consists of 22 ethnic tribes while the South South has even more.
Nigeria isnt zoned by ethnic consideration,zoning is based on geographical dispensation in order to aid smooth governance.
Ungovernable?,Nigeria isnt SA where lawmakers chase their president around the parliament,screaming warcries at the top of their lungs,turning the parliament into a bull court!,now that is an ungovernable country.

DictatorZAR:
The only bubble that got burst is yours. Its clear you are now trying to shift goals when you got exposed for talking shiiit. You can be the largest producer of wheat in west africa but don't come and claim you are the largest in africa that was the main point.
SA produces over 2 metric tons of wheat each year, way more then all west african production combined so just relax.
Cassava is a West african crop and SA has no use for it.
Nigeria has better climatic conditions then SA yet we manage to produce more crop yields then Nigeria overall so the onus is on you to improve your agriculture, you should've been leading us in all crop production yet you don't.

hmm..how do I explain this to a lay man like you...let me start like this:
You are full,brimming and bloating with shiit.
Now,that being said,Nigeria is the world's largest producer of:
*Cassava
*Yam{I guess only west africans eat yam?,clown!}
*Beans
*Cashew seed
*Soya beans
*Oil palm and
*Millet

mzilakazi:
I say again that is merely a category and does not mean Nigeria export aircrafts and ships. Fortunately in that category there is vehicle which Nigeria has only started assembling recently.


Open this link and see that exports are categorised into sections which also included VEHICLES, AIRCRAFTS, VESSELS … all in one category.
http://www.indexmundi.com/trade/exports/?country=za

The link is a south african export article!!.they are in one category because they deal with transportation,you clown!.
We export vehicles and vessels,it is not a matter for arguement!
you sound thirsty,you need a glass of cold water.

mzilakazi:
It is political as in taking more than 6six months just to pay salaries of nearly dying employees. You must be kidding.
Your government did not have money and had to cash in from the bank just to get the salaries paid.
YOUR GOVERNMENT IS BROKE.

Why do you resist common sense so much?.
STATE GOVERNMENT is different from FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.
*FG is the overall supreme central authority of Nigeria
*SGs are regional semi-autonomous authorities that govern different sub-region of Nigeria.There are six regions/zones in Nigeria; North West,South West,South East,North East,South South,and North Central,Each region/zone has six states each,making a total of 36 states + FCT{Federal Capital Territory; Nigeria's administrative capital,it houses Abuja city}= 37 total states.
Now,7 states got broke; however,the FG came in to bail them out with approximately $2billion.
How does that make Nigeria broke?.Do you now understand?,yes?,excellent!,i knew you would eventually see sense.

mzilakazi:
Nigeria does not produce aircraft or ships, that was merely a category or section that confused the writers of the article.

The same way it could be seen at the link below. Check on your left is a list of categories or section of the collection of goods not necessarily produced or exported by that country but at least only one or few items mentioned on the category is produced by that country.

http://www.indexmundi.com/trade/exports/?country=za

tap and visit any country of your choice on your right and see that categories do not change.

What is this one saying?!
The NBS is Nigeria's premium trade monitoring agency; they supervise trade and NEXIM.It was the NBS that reported the data quoted in the article.
If the NBS says that we export vehicles,aircrafts and vessels; then it is accurate.
Everyone knows that we export vehicles{especially bicycles,motorcycles,tricycles and haulage trucks} and ships.

patches689:
South Africa is the largest producer of wheat in Africa
http://harvestchoice.org/commodities/wheat

South Africa is one of the worlds 5 biggest ground nut exporters
http://www.tradeforum.org/exporting-groundnuts/
Sorry to burst your bubble

I dont know how to say this politely..but well,i think you are just full of shiit.
Nigeria is the largest producer of wheat in west/central africa; with over 70,000 metric tonnes of wheat per month{I made a mistake there}.
**Nigeria is the largest producer of groundnut in Africa,3rd in the world
http://harvestchoice.org/commodities/groundnut
Nigeria is the world's largest producer of beans and cashew nuts
http://www.acadamicjournals.org/article/article1426244215_Adeigbe%20et%20al.pdf
Nigeria is the world's largest producer of yam and cassava
https://en.wikipedia.org/Cassava_production_in_Nigeria
.
.
Sorry to burst your bubbles.

mzilakazi:
Nope, that's untrue. We buy most oil from Nigeria and before that we use to import most of it from Iran.
SA produces its own rubber, ground but, food stuff, etc. We are big in agricultural products.
We export plastic and rubber and how can we import it from Nigeria.
http://www.tradingeconomics.com/south-africa/exports-of-plastic-rubber-articles
SA export groundnuts.
http://www.newnut.co.za/
Complete list of what we produce and export.
http://www.indexmundi.com/trade/exports/?country=za
SA import most cocoa from Ghana
We have our own indigenous palm and is really not as lucrative in SA as is Nigeria. We don't use palm oil we prefer sunflower and olive oil instead.

The fact that you produce a material doesnt mean you dont import that same material: Nigeria exports aircrafts,vehicles and ships; yet that doesnt stop us from importing these same commodities in varying quantities.
Nigeria is the biggest producer of rubber,groundnut,sorghum and wheat in Africa.

mzilakazi:
Do you mean oil that you are exporting to South Africa?

We export rubber,cocoa,vegetable/palm/groundnut oil,food stuffs,tobacco etc..to South Africa.
SA buys most of its crude oil from Angola.

shizzy7:
Jonathan already did that BUT I think Buhari would also do something substantial for her,,,

I just kept imagining the worst that could have happened,, if she had allowed PATRICK SAWYER to escape But that Man is also wicked..Rip to her and the others..

ah..I didnt know GEJ already gave her a national award.

iblawi:
May God bless her.

Amen.

iblawi:
Bro. To tell how stupid they think they believe everything they produce is always the best in the world.

Forgetting that they are only showing there stupidity to the world.

I tell you my brother.They are all as dumb as doorknobs.
I remember watching the SA ambassador to naija as he was being grilled on ChannelsTV by I think Chamberlain Usor,the man was only grunting and rubbing his over-sized belly dumbly while being treated to verbal assaults from the presenter,he couldnt counter any of the questions,word games and innuedos thrown at him and his country.I could only pity the f00lish man for being a dumb southie.

shizzy7:
evarn,@iblawi,@henry120 ONE YEAR AFTER, we are remembering DR. AMEYO ADADEVOH,, who saved Nigeria from The DEADLY EBOLA VIRUS..Aug.19th

Dr. Ameyo Adadevoh is the greatest African heroine of the 21th century,I hope PMB gives her a post-humus national honour on independence day.
RIP to Dr Adadevoh.

mzilakazi:
Your MRAPS are simply not up to standard.

Post proof,the UN,Rwandans and South-Sudanese are buying our armoured logistics in large numbers.who says they are not up to standard?

mzilakazi:
How about MRAPS from South Africa?

We manufacture MRAPs,APCs and armoured trucks locally.Why would we need to continue buying different types of MRAPs when we can manufacture them locally and import the rest from a stable partner to encourage reasonable diversity?

mzilakazi:
How about MRAPS from South Africa?

You mean your REVA MEDVAC MRAPs?,they were recommended by certain defence analysts for the training and equipping of a strike force.

shizzy7:
Huuuu
Nigeria-NIGERiAN Lake Chad Basin- Most hit,,
Cameroon- BAKASSI PENINSULA- 2nd most hit,,
No wonder Chad's president keeps running his Mouth Uncontrollably.. The one that surprised me was when he came out to say SHEKAU is dead and the name of the new leader is One Mouhamat Daoud..and i wondering "how did he know the name of the New leader" then the next the devil came out to say he's Not Dead.,,,
AND Yobe and Borno are the 2 Nigerian states that borders the 4countries. Na Wa oooo

Idris Deby is running his mouth like pepper-soup because he knows that Nigeria is too focused on its internal affairs to properly play international politics.If it were someone like Gen. Muritala Mohammed or Gen. Sani Abacha governing Nigeria,Deby would have smelt pepper by now,France or no France.
Deby knows so much about BH because he has close links with the terrorist group,most of BH leaders and fighters are chadians{he is even suspected of massively sponsoring and arming BH}.

mzilakazi:
Nigeria must not blame their woes unto others but themselves. Their poor handling of BH insurgency and incompetent military is a factor.
OH, sorry Nigeria has no PGMS.

Yes,we have to blame it on others,because it is other people who come to Nigeria to cause trouble,including meddling foreign powers.Abubakar Shekau and the so called Mohammed Daoud{not "Mahamat" as wrongly touted by Mr Deby} are both Chadians,many of BH fighters are from Niger and Chad.Infact,some french fighters were captured by cameroonian troops earlier this year,but France pressured Biya into silence and extradicted the terrorists back home.
Lol,even our alpha jets can discharge PGMs.

shizzy7:
And because Buhari said No to Gay... I wish they did not agree to The arms sale.. I hope we end up not buying it,,I pray they change their mind...

Indeed....those MRAPs the US is proposing to sell to us are very expensive and hard to maintain,and considering the fact that we already use about 4 different MRAPs,maintaining all those platforms will pose a great challenge to NA engineers.
However,we need those MRAPs; using toyota hilux vans and wooden trucks to ferry troops around like sardines is really not acceptable.The NA needs at least 1500 new MRAPs to properly prosecute this war.
In the long term,we need to look east{Russia,China} for cheap but effective lethal hardware: we need to procure at least 30 SU27/30 and 15 JF-17 or J10 as a matter of urgency,including also bargaining for 50 of Russia's new MiG35 to be delivered in the near future.
We can get tanks,aircrafts and missiles from the east,infantry training and submarines from the west{Germany,Poland,UK}.

shizzy7:
Evarn,, WHO/WHAT is AFP all the links about the incident online keeps saying the same name and "TOLD AFP" and the same story..None of our news channels is talking about it ... But have you seen the Video of how NAF killed BH members during the Air raid in Borno?

AFP is France's propaganda news outlet.
Nigeria is the greatest obstacle to french foreign policy in Africa; hence,the unwarranted antagonism.
We are surrounded by french colonized countries,with France maintaining a heavy military presences in Niger,Chad,and Cameroon....thousands of french troops along with rafale fighter jets and sophisticated MALE UAVs are stationed in military bases in the countries surrounding Nigeria.They want to seize control of the Nigerian lake chad oil field for Chad,but all their efforts are being frustrated.
Yes,I watched the video of the BH bunker bombardment; It was quite expertly carried out and recorded.
Though it seems that no ATGM or guided munition was used,only cannons.

mzilakazi:
You see your military is misinformed. This incident happened long before your military could be reached because of poor communication network on the area. Your military arrived late when some villagers were already killed and some drowned while trying to escape insurgents. Your military is trying to cover their foul play as always knowing well that village is still primitive and away from the world.

How can a military maintaining constant aerial surveillance over an area be "misinformed" about the area?.
hehehehe....All these negative media stunts because we refused to allow foreign boots to make camp over our lake chad oil deposit in the name of fighting terrorism.
Nigeria really needs to revisit our foreign policy.

mzilakazi:
In Baga 2000 people were reportedly killed as confirmed by the US sources and not 5000 as you claim.
Bwahahaha… investigations so fast, that means they have never thoroughly investigated.
That's a pure lie. A propaganda at its best. The community members confirmed on international news on TV that they have buried over 160 bodies some bodies were never even recovered on the water.
http://mobi.iol.co.za/#!/article/hundreds-drown-fleeing-boko-haram-1.1902235

How convenient that all the 160 people were buried within the few hours it took the NA to arrive the scene.Do you know how long it would takes for 160 bodies to be identified,gathered,transported and buried?,it would surely take days!!
But apparently,according to "anonymous local sources",160 people magicked themselves into thin air and no injured person bothered to visit the hospital.how intriguing..wouldnt you agree?