₦airaland Forum

#Eyes closed# , #slams door# . I don't see a thing.

babyosisi:
Walk away is in verbal altercation
Man and wife arguing
You say man can strike the woman and be justified I said a mature man will walk away and will not hit the wife
I know you are too dense to sort these things out

Your father is too dense to sort out your bride price.. See una life. You're too abused and have lost your satiny it soo glaring on Nl. May Amodiah strike you dead!

So you made the rules on which domestic violence deserves to be walked away from? So you mean if a wife hits her husband he should hit back like the wife just did to her MIL? See how dense your father is?

Who died and made you the queen Biko.

Did I read somewhere that the Wife retaliated the slap?? ( again sorry I didn't finish reading the story and won't )

What happened to the "responsible party should walk away" Abuse/Violence Rule ??

NL Pipu

#foaming from both sides of their mouth since 1800AD#

Grandma sorry, you no fall ma hand jare. A simple case of two fighting

FriedPlantain:
See him big belle like apo ewa,

Who do guys think Dangote would vote for?

Who else SAI Baba!

FriedPlantain:
Ewuro4

You're not serious, commot for road jor

Are you home (Nigeria) , if so, How's the election going? nobody is picking their calls. I'm worried.

Torque

.

Askseek:
@OP, I have been married for 15 years and will relate my xperience with my MIL and how my husband handled it. My relationship with my MIL was ok, I was independent and that did not agree well with my MIL mindset. Fast forward to the real story.
My inlaws marriage was over and they were in the middle of a separation for whatever reason one night she left the apartment and asked my husband if she could stay with us for 1 week. He called me and asked me that his mother needed to stay with us for a wk. we lived in a 2 bedroom and had 3 kids. With no hesitation I said yes, it was late and as far as I was concerned my husbands mother needed help who am I to say no. So set the mattress and made space she came and 1 week turned into a month. I realized there was no end to her stay and started to talk to my husband about finding a 3 bedroom apt. He refused, adamant that if we did that she wouldn't leave and he did not want to make her too comfortable. He wanted her to go. I continued to plead and cajole coz I knew if it was my mum I would want her to have her own space and privacy instead of sharing with kids. Eventually after about 4 months he agreed and when d lease ended we moved into a 3 bedroom and furnished a room for her. Let me add here that this move was a significant increase and I took a second job so we could afford it. There were many pettiness which I swallowed and never mentioned a word to my husband. Stuff like telling my kids I did not know how to cook otherwise I wouldn't be feeding them the kind of food they ate. She made her own meals, woke up at 4 am (no exaggeration) to sweep and clean, tell my oldest daughter I sleep too long (after working 16 hrs). No problem it's all good it's my MIL now so I said nothing. Still working on her behalf begging her son to give her house key coz he refused to didnt what her to be too comfortable (his words). One evening we got home late and she was waiting outside, the first thing she said was "what ur wife is doing by not giving me the house key is not good" I was livid but could not blame her, the eye I gave my husband and walked out on them. I don't know what he told her but he begged me for a long time but still refused to give her key. MIL had a relative visit her for 2 wks from England. I and my husband didn't get the curtesy of being told we would have a visitor. I came home and was introduced to this person. Ok no problem. The end came one evening, my husband asked me to come with him to the auto store so I could sit in the car while he went in the store to buy a new battery. Asked MIL if she didn't mind watching the kids especially baby who was just about 7 months. She said ok, baby started crying as usual and we left. Went down and the car refused to start. He tried to get it to start and it wouldn't. All dis time the baby was crying when it was about 20 mins and he still couldn't get the car to start I suggested taking a taxi while I go back up to calm he child down. Our last born unfortunately has a disease and stress an trigger a crisis so I figured the car is not starting let me go up and carry d child and that is where I went wrong. Got back up said to MIL d car did not start let me carry isoken. She did not answer me, I stretched out my hand to carry baby she pushed me(not play push, a real firm push). I said ha, mummy let me calm dis child down she has been crying since she said its her child am I saying she can't carry her child? I said no ma but she has been crying stretched out my hand and attempted to take my daughter and she hit me and pushed me away. At this point I said "see dis woman oh!behave urself now" I called out to my husband while still trying to pick up d child that was still crying. He came up and I told him d issue. He puts me to the side and goes to his mother asked her to give hike the child so he can carry she refuses and gets up going off on me with all sorts of curses. In my head I am thinking this is d person I work 2 jobs to make comfortable for. Her son is by her side trying to cLm her down and get the child next thing she bends down and pulls my legs I hit my head on the hard wood floor and she was on top of me with my child in one hand and hitting me with the other. My other 2 kids by this time came out of their room so my husband is trying to shield them, yanks the baby from her before pulling her off me. I told my husband "I love you and that is the only reason I did not hit your mother back cow I will kill her but she is gone from my house today, now not tomorrow or the marriage is over. Me or your mother chose" he reminded me she had nowhere to go and I said she should have thought about that before. Then she started to cry and beg me It was d devil. She had no where to go. I told her to go the shelter, but she will not stay in my house and her son can go with her or I leave them in the house and go. I left to my room. He told her to pack her stuff, she crossed the line and she spent a wk in d shelter before finding a place to stay. She then got upset insisting I apologize to her bringing up the I am your mother, and then my husband started to tell her in the presence of the people she brought all d things she did to undermine me in my home and how she attacked me. He made it clear she owed me an apology and if I did not want her in d house he would stand by me. My stand since then with my MIL is to be cordial that's it. I owe her nothing. If I am having an event in my house she can come but no visit or sleep over. I didn't tell my parents and so when my mum was visiting she showed up to d house under the pretext of Visiting and planned to spend the night. When my husband told me I said ok and dropped d phone but d man knows me well knew I was not coming home he showed up at my job to pick me up. I was angry. We got home and he called his mom and my mom told my mom the whole story so she could understand the tension she was sensing on my part and made it clear to his mom to stop being manipulative and to leave first thing in the morning. I have always loved this man and my love and respect for him grew exponentially after that incident. He cares for his mother but does not allow that to affect his role as my husband. And that incident defined and put boundaries on my relTionship with MIL. On a side note the other 2 sons for whom she hand picked wives have both divorced, their wives could not deal with MIL interference and husbands who always deferred to her. I won't tell you what to do but will encourage you to be wise.

Madam.. I bow for you. A woman after my heart. All I can say is WoW!! Patience is the greatest Virtue I tell ya, that's how I live my life and I always come out a winner.

****

@Topic, mama fall my hand oh, Hian slapping your daughter in law over what na, Pictures, abi there're other unmentioned underlying issues? (I didn't read everything, pardon me).

What happened to sharing on Facebook or giving her the memory card to make her own prints?
My MIL takes her own pictures samsam , thousands of them, herself. I beg all these unnecessary heartache is not worth it jare.

And what are those other two accomplices doing when every slaps went down , chewing popcorn? Women, women, women, Jesus.

Oga perfectionist, I wish you well and for wisdom to calm this storm between them. I don't envy you atall right now.

Labile

bebe2:
Na wa oo

evil pikins

Na real WA.

And yeye mother/wife join.

edwife:
@Ewuro4 i got it,understand better

i am great now,thanks for asking.

(((Hugs)))

bebe2:
Sis, u read d story na,

How do u start to repair such a relationship?

Yes I did. It was posted before and the comments were eye opening... Then.

Rela..wetin ? This marriage is long gone ,dead. Not only did they wrecked the man's life and dignity, he also lost his sanity and already in a psychiatric facility. What else is there to repair biko?

chibic:
inferiority complex?..you must be smoking the hairs in your pubic region!..my point is that you people are always quick to condemm things that has to do with africans. Do you have to call them shameless for catching a wh.ore? If it was your brother, I hope you'll be happy and celebrate her?

If it were my brother, No I won't celebrate her but you won't catch me dead taking my SIL's pictures and worse, post on social media. My reason for calling them 'shameless' ... And if you ain't happy with that which is very obvious by the way, go and hug the nearest transformer in your league.

I'm yet to understand what African/American comparison got to do with my one adjective post. You have inferiority complex period.

Yoddle

bebe2:
Chai, cold dey catch me ooo

Hehehe on top this matter or in UK

Canada ... A place they reimburse ONLY low income families money and High income earners are highly taxed to run the country

Nigeria.... A place where the poor getting poorer and the leaders at the top, richer. And woe betide anybody who dare to challenge them for tax cuts , me me me only

So why blame Mysticgal? She's only voicing her opinion.

God dey


#Tommorow , Cast your vote with your senses # Vote for CHANGE.

Speechless

coogar:
she's a lady....
all you have to do is vote for APC tomorrow and i will give you her number & BB PIN. by monday, i'll make all your dreams come true by arranging your romantic date with her.

COOGAR

There you have it Kabonic

kaboninc:
Is sambarry a woman, lady, young lady, young adult, a girl or a young girl? Someone help me.

I think am falling massively in....

*will complete it when a get an answer to my question!*

I need her ( first clue ) permission to answer your questions.

freecocoa:
And people still stayed with these ones? Imagine being banned from looking at women, hian, people get mind sha.

I have a guy friend like that. He stares down every outings (restaurants, parks) with his wife. They're now divorced.

kaboninc:
Did you read your statement before hitting the 'submit' button?

What's going on here??

Timbuktou:
Na your kind dey chop slap. Husband never talk one you don talk fifty.

Hehe

chibic:
how about americans who will even make sure their cheating husbands/wives are exposed on national television( episode of cheaters) ? Is that not worst? Or is it because these are africans?

And your point again??

Your inferiority complex couldn't be more obvious in your posts. What has Americans got to do with the situation at hand? Get off my case abeg.

DesChyko:
Everybody carry phone for hand.
All they think of is 'evidence'!
Not a thought spared for shame..
Not a thought spared for family..
If it was always tit for tat , Jesus won't have died for us.

Shamèless family

I bet the so called relatives are women If we dig deep.. Women 'Their own worst enemies since 1770'

Madam Tayour una well done oh

Edgers

Ibangap:
And what is wrong with him being a houseboy? Though I would advice him to leave the house get something doing just like he used to, by so doing he might be able to save up some more money, cos I know how it feels to be jobless and idle, considering that he used to work and make money before now. And I believe that's why he's gambling because he seems not to be getting the kind of money he used to get while working, I'm not saying it's good to gamble though. Just my thoughts.

There's nothing wrong with being a houseboy but that wasn't his initial proposition, besides they already have a Jss3 girl maid . For a gambler , I'm only conserned about his concentration to study in that environment, the boy is burdened with chores that he forgot to procure his JAMB slip to write his exam. Also, Madam is already feeling uncomfortable and will soon throw him out and these same crowd with still call him lazy/burden when he creates another thread for that.
What's wrong with pre-degree program instead of warming couch all day and mowing lawn? I don talk my own abeg.

Ibangap:
But if you say he should stay, and he eventually manages through this year and by next year he sits for another jamb examination and peradventure doesn't make it again, what then? Sounds like loosing on both sides, don't you think? He's 23 for heavens' sake, he should be making money working not sitting around waiting for help from people.

Really? No need oh ... Let him continue trying to be wole Soyinka and Achuebe and madam will be smiling . Abi no be same Nigeria with flooding job opportunities?

#NL.. preaching what they can't practice since 1850#

kaboninc:
Please oh, someone is seeking for advice. Let's advise!
Thanks!

okay