₦airaland Forum

Bookhub:
This is what happens when men marry too early the children are all grown and left ,I rather be 70 and my children 20 and below so they will be there with me in my old age while I plan transfer of my acquired wealth to them as I leave.

nikky5:
The location is in Lagos. I have a truckload of granite and sand. I also have lots of iron rods about 30 plus.
Can 2m finish this foundation of a half plot of land?
What's your take?
Thanks

Onegai:
There's no such thing as "Marrying your own". What that means is that someone is doing the heavy lifting to keep your marriage working. And it doesn't sound like it's you, bros.

Nothing in Life comes easy. There's no job that is "a great fit" without stress. Your dream house? Well, it requires maintenance to continue being your dream house. Your investments? Same hard work. Your grades? If you like, select the course meant for you. If you don't study, you'll fail.

Everything in Life requires work. And sometimes it is 30% from you, 70% from her. Other times it is 60-40.

The mistake is to think because you're having problems, it means you're incompatible. Because if it were "your own", you won't have problems, bah?

Well, even your parents didn't always love you perfectly and vice versa. So how do you expect a marriage to function based on "na my own"?

I'm married.

I'm just tired of seeing people make that mistake and divorce based on "this is so hard, therefore it means we made a mistake".

My uncle is in his 70s and he admitted that if he had the emotional maturity he had now, his first marriage won't have collapsed. His 2nd wife is okay but hindsight is 20-20.

Someone I know is about to divorce his wife and so many elders have said he'll regret it. I'd never understood why but now I'm beginning to see. And I wish I could knock sense into him, because his wife is now ready to reconcile (even though it was mostly his fault), but he's stubbornly on his high horse.

Fixing a marriage is initially hard work but pays off long term. Starting afresh is initially easy work but omo (and it is very hard to leave 2nd marriages in Nigeria, as you don't want to be seen as the problem. So you'll stay and endure what you couldn't tolerate with your first wife/husband).

I've seen fixed marriages before, where both parties did the work. They're the best marriages. The problem is that in Nigeria, we don't fix, we just tell the woman to go back and endure in silence. Then she and the man hate and resent themselves till they die.

Fix your marriage, work on your flaws first. By your changing, she will change.

Onegai:
Bro, because you haven't started cheating, please let me share some tips.

She feels EXACTLY the same way you do, about you. Like if you dropped dead, she'd cry but also be relieved.

Now, you have 2 choices:

1. Blow up your marriage.

Seems easy but I swear to you, you'll regret it when you're older. Even if you do cheat and stay, she'll know. And I'm telling you as a woman, we can hold grudges till we die. If you want to be 65 and terrified of trusting a woman who has been angry for decades about your behaviour with your old age, pray continue like several other men.

2. Fix your marriage.

Sounds hard, but take my advice and in 6-9 months, you won't be on NL talking like this. You'll be grinning in delight, your wife will be your babe once again.

To achieve no.2, turn her into your side chick

You're the man, the marriage takes its temperature from you (even biblically it is so). Fill her emotional cup (it is empty, so she can't pour into you). Love her. How so?

- sit down and make a list of everything you are attracted to in a woman. Ask her to make the same for her ideal man. Exchange the lists. INTENTIONALITY.

- spend time and attention on her. If she watches kdrama, ask to watch one with her. Forreal. Kdrama has horror, suspense, political, love, marriage, thriller, action and sci-fi. Which means, you can actually watch something with her. Then make her watch your stuff with you. AFFECTION.

- date night: every weekend this December, find somewhere you and her will go to. I can give you tips sef. ATTENTION.

- send her a link to a men's wear vendor and ask her to pick what she likes you to wear. Then buy it and wear it. Now do the same for her. Down to perfume. Pay for her manicure and pedicure. Whatever you like, you lead by example. VALIDATION AND TRUST.

- every time you see a fine girl outside, text your wife. Tell her "I was just thinking of you". Chat her up. If she's on social media, it's because YOU DON'T TALK TO HER SO SHE'S LONELY IN YOUR MARRIAGE AND IS FINDING VALIDATION ONLINE. And there are several Balthazars in Nigeria (they just don't record it ). So be chatting your wife up, gossip, gist, funny jokes, se.xy talk. ATTENTION.

- Spend some money. Be it sexxx toys, lingerie, ankle chain (you'd be surprised what she likes). Books, whatever. AFFECTION

- Pray with her. Wake up and find a prayer on Pinterest, personalise it and send "Iremide, ....". LOVE AND CARE.

- tell her "Iremide...I don't want to just lead you, I want to be your king. Be my Esther. Look good for me. Please let me pamper you. Let me solve all your problems. The problems you solve yourself, share them with me, so I can praise you. Stain my eyes with your beauty and shake my mind with your wisdom. I love you". Tell her this twice a week. LOVE AND GUIDANCE.

- Look at your flaws and start correcting them. If you can't change, then neither can she. Change starts with you, not with her. Read that again. Go and read the bible, God is very clear whose He holds responsible for the health of a marriage. Change starts with you. SELF-REFLECTION AND RESPONSIBILITY

- Remember, you're the Head of the House, it's actually your job to lead your marriage. The reason so many marriages are unhappy are because men are being irresponsible and women are doing their jobs. RESPONSIBILITY.

There is no such thing as a submissive second-in-command who does all the work whilst Dangote stays lazy. Read that sentence again.

Do this. Work on yourself. Don't expect quick fixes, but start this December (I fit drop list of restaurants and hang outs. Come back and testify next year. Sha don't get pregnant o, because the last couple who did all this, surprise last baby at 46

So, it's upto you. Make your choice.

All the best
You must be a marriage therapist or Counsellor. I enjoyed every bit of the remedial plan of action to fix the marriage.

All these can actually work where both parties or the couple met with you individually first and were allowed to go and implement your suggestions for a period of 6 months for a start and return together for a review. This can be extended for additional 6 months for complete healing of the broken emotions.

Keep up the good work.

samwheel:



Liars!!!

5 refineries are about to be completed


Pls complete just one first.


T-pain the liar

ijustdey:
https://dailypost.ng/2024/10/14/why-dangote-refinery-didnt-reduce-fuel-pump-price-sowunmi/#google_vignette

Ofunaofu:
Due to the ever-rising cost of fuel, the government has been encouraging Nigerians to switch to CNG. 
 
The question is, are all the vehicles in Tinubu's entourage, most especially the all-black armoured Cadillac Escalade SUV CNG-powered?

Bitterkola100:
drop your number let me write or call you

adenigga:
Source: https://dailytrust.com/World-Bank-set-to-approve-$1.5bn-loan-to-Nigeria

Ceooooll:
In this life jut get money and connection, imagine all this

babz11:
Why can’t Ibadan install young man as king,
Na old men them Dey install as King

guobe:
200,000 naira have been sent to me by a good samaritan to distribute to 20 guys with the sum of 10,000 naira each.
The criteria for getting the money as instructed by the donor include the following,;
1.must be struggling
2.Has not insulted others while trying to make his points.
3.He is not an ethnic jingoist and sees every other person as a fellow citizen with whom he merely has a disagreement over how things should be done.
You can show interest and I will do a background check on you and if you are found worthy, you will be picked.
Thanks and may God bless us all .

Sofialuv:
when sweetheart

Bobloco:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2023/12/just-in-port-harcourt-refinery-still-test-running-nnpc/amp/

Giftedhand47:
I have a chronic anger problem I've tried not to get angry and overlook things but this demonic spirit will just do his thing
Pls help me i really need tips from Nairaland family.don't know I may get help here . Thanks

Carcholce:
Another definite answer I am looking for! This right here is what I think I am experiencing! “The positive impact to end an addiction”


Mr Mike, please take the mic and answer this important question. Are you saying she’s the right one?

Cataboy:
I will teach you mtn free data...works fast and is unlimited.... Simple to set up...for free...if you want, drop your what s app numb so I tell you how to go about it...I don't want to cast it here

9japride:
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Yes I understand that life is not fair. Though, most 9ja people are not helpful. I don't know much about the OP if he's a good person or not.
But my point is that why can't people give advice that is even free and won't cost nothing?
In western world for example in Europe they don't care for themselves. Majority of them are cold hearted and that's not our culture.
In developed countries, the government owe the citizens their duties to provide a conducive environment for survival. The people pay their tax so them no born the government well not to perform.
Over here the people love electing hard and wicked people to govern them.
It's only immediate family members that really help these days, people are just to mean.

hakym619:






Please who can give me the insight / estimate to the total deduction from monthly salary of a federal government worker. I'm talking tax and all. I can't find this information online.

Newton2024:
Can daily sex with my wife makes me lose weight? Is sex an exercise?

fasmukol:
Long live the king

BABANGBALI:
Africans and sex be like bread and beans





*Aseju ni condom🙄 flesh to flesh ti wa ok*
*To those who don't understand Yoruba!*
*It means education is the key to success*

ChildOfDoom:
Aside my intellectual ability, nothing else to benefit from me in matrimony. I just hope no one is deceived by my innocent looks or gentlemanliness. Lot's of skeletons in my cupboard.

- no sexual satisfaction for her as I have a weak erection due to years of self-service

- no ability to hold a home together as I am wayward, a chronic punter and profligate
spender. How possible will it be to save and take care of my family. I can barely feed myself well.

- I have got anger and communication issues. Hard relating well with the opposite sex

- I have got health issues based on an obnoxious lifestyle devoid of proper healthy living. I doubt if I will make a good husband or father having failed on my own.

Working on all these vices; but I guess there is little or no chance of a 30-year-old changing again

Williampisces:
Five hundred naira recharge card for 6 guys...

Put down your number

illicit I will bless you today

Williampisces:
Five hundred naira recharge card for 6 guys...

Put down your number

illicit I will bless you today