₦airaland Forum

hasyak:
This young couple are having a serious fight to the extent the wife was packing her things that she's leaving and neighbours where there trying to plead with them to calm down, and both insisting it's over.

While the wife was busy bringing her things out of the house, insulting themselves anytime she passes by, at a stage while she was passing in front of him, he now said "see her natsh" she turn and said "you like am" he then nodded, na so everyone bursted out lol and fighting finish...

This is so funny and cute at the same time.😂😂😂😊😊

Na why I nor dey put mouth for couple matter.

Klass99:
I just cited him as an excellent example of the sort of people who should look into adoption when water don dey pass garri. Whether or not he wants to give up his kids for adoption is an entirely different matter.

A part of me suspects that given the right incentive he will agree to adoption. Let's be real;
1. Suffer head don taya that guy.
2. Will it make sense to say no to adoption with an Angelina Jolie type of adoptive parent?
3. Love is not by blood is thicker than water, na me produce sperm or na me incubate you for 9 months.

What came to my mind when I saw that story was that - these men keeping claiming they are logical and there is nothing logical about how most of them think, behave and live. Let me explain....

1. As a married man in Naija you know that the heavy financial lifting in your household will most likely be on you. Does it not make sense to control the narrative on how many kids you and wifey will procreate? There's nothing wrong with a vasectomy if you hate condoms and have 2 or 3 kids already. But somehow that logic often seems to escape them.

2. One logical gender person told me to stop advocating birth control as a way of making it in life, when I told a 40 year old man on this forum to permanently end child birth at 2 kids. After he complained of little to no financial success in his life, not owning a car or passport but wanting to travel internationally, etcetera. Biko, my sister was the logical thing in his case not to end child birth and focus on how to make other dreams come true?

When I called that same person's attention to the thread by the 38 year old man, he did not say kpim in response to me. Which goes to show how flawed most of them are in their logic/thinking.

Klass, welldone, I always look forward to your analysis. A true Lawyer.

It's the logical gender doing the most these days.

I think vasectomy is a great idea but the average Nigerian man would frown at that. It'd hurt their "ego", it's as though you're insulting their manhood.

Oh well, everybody go dey alright las las.

Klass99:
No need to apologise for obeying nature, I feel you on all you've said.

At the bolded, adoption can be a very private affair between couples who have the means, want children but can't have them and people who can barely provide for themselves/the children they birth or people with unwanted pregnancies who may be contemplating abortion.

An agreement can be drawn and reached between the parties with the help of lawyers. There's no need to go to a motherless baby's home or our frustrating system to achieve that. It's even easier when children are at the ages of 0 to 5, people seem more interested in adopting younger children than older ones.

Imagine the kind of life the Germany based Naija couple will provide for the child they adopt from here? If I was a single mother struggling seriously with a young child or pregnant without the resources for what's coming, at the time I heard of that couple, I would have brokered an adoption deal with them to adopt my child and not go through the stress of the Nigerian system. Make my pikin see better life while I try to fix mine and do better.

There are people in the scenario above, some of them even married but when you preach adoption they act all crazy and say you are preaching the sale of children, no one can love your child like you, yada yada yada. Biko, how is it love when you cannot feed a child, they starve most days? You cannot buy bathing soap or nice clothes for them, they are not being schooled at home or in a proper school, etc.

Did you see the thread of the 38 year old man with 5 kids, living in one room? That is a family who was/is a prime candidate for private adoption.

Thank you for your understanding.

You are right. Instead of stressing oneself doing it the Nigerian way, one can do it privately and draw up an agreement with lawyers.

Hahahaha. Klass, don't kill me with laugh abeg.🤣🤣🤣🤣

But honestly, I can't imagine me as a parent looking at my kids starving. Ahhhh. That's crazy.

I saw that thread oh. I have no words for that man. Who asked him to birth 5kids?
All these couples sef and their wahala.

Do you think he'd really want to give up his kids for adoption?

Klass99:
Ehn ehn, tell me something! I didn't know until now that we thought along the same lines about these things.

I agree that raising a child on your own is not easy but if e pass your power, adoption is a very good option. I am aware of a Nigerian couple based in Germany who came home to adopt a child because their one and only biological child (a girl) felt lonely and wanted a sibling/companion, and they can't have more kids. I don't know how that ended because I haven't seen their host in a while.

I see the baby turned teenager Angelina Jolie adopted from Kenya or so and I am like WOW . My thinking is that - if you can't take care of a child in spite of your best efforts please free them up to people who genuinely mean well and have the capacity to do good, do right and do well by them.

It is extremely selfish to hold on to a child and shackle them to a life of lack and misery because;
1. You carried them in your womb for 9 months
2. You don't know what that child will become tomorrow or in future.
3. Who will look after me in old age.

Free the child to a reasonably good life you are unable to provide. No be every time we go dey shout - e go better, as a mother you cannot do this or do that, you are irresponsible, blood is thicker than water, blah blah blah. Put the child's interests and welfare first, they didn't ask to be born.

Sorry for the late response. I slept off.



Lol, you know how stressful Adoption is in this country. If you nor get money ehn, the way those officers will stress one's life ehn. Tufiakwa!

I remember that child Angelina Jolie adopted. The child's all grown now.

It is equally and EXTREMELY selfish to birth a child you cannot raise on your own. People who can barely provide for themselves should not raise children.

Let's all stop misquoting the Children are a gift from God to indulge our selfishness and bring innocent babies to the world to suffer.

As for me, I can't even dare to raise a baby in this my broke girl era. I perish that idea.

I just honestly wish Nigerians can do better by being less selfish and focus on how to increase their source of income than birthing babies left, right and centre with the E go better line.

Klass99:
FK I couldn't resist teasing you . Why would your life be ruined because of a child born out of wedlock? Do you Nigerians not live and die on the hill of marriage and children again?

If you are not married some clowns will be on your case advising you to try and born one as marriage never come and there's a biological clock. You give birth to one and the same clowns are vile towards you for being a single mother.

I just feel sorry for the women who bow to other people's opinions.

I know you were teasing me.

Uhm, I've never been a big fan of Marriage and children all my life. I'd say more of career, adventure, food, travelling etc.

My parents know I'm not big on marriage and they're seriously praying I change my mind. They once took me to their Pastor to see if he could change my mind, the man sef tire for me.

Well maybe, till I see someone worth it. But right now, Nahhh.

I usually tell my friends to take their time too.

Well, raising a child on your own ain't easy too, especially at a young age.

One thing people fail to realize is that Marriage and Children are not the Be-All and End-All of everybody in the society. Some people just want companionship and that is IT.

I've interacted with someone here off Nairaland that wanted simply Marriage and no kids with me, but I was still young oh, in University sef. I wasn't up to 20 as at that time.

Who even created this biological clock for women sef? We need to re-evaluate that damn "clock".

I just feel sorry for the women who bow to other people's opinions.

I know right?!!!!!! They're trying really. This reminds me of woman at church who asked me why I hadn't gotten married, I simply retorted that her daughter was older than me but still staying in the house.

babythug:
Hello ladies!

A ku oro Nigeria oh. Hope everyone is hanging in there?! God will be with us 🙏🏽

Hello Mama.

It is well. God help us all. 🙏🏽

Klass99:
You are shouting apt there! When he starts touching you in your hot zones now, will you remember to take precautions? Harmless kwesion ooo, I was just thinking out loud.

Klass please. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Yes oh. I am too young to have my life ruined.

ShenTeh:
I also think that providing more information will help your cause.l, eg your daughter's age, location (eg State), the position of her father's people, (you should contact them, as I do not think you can solely give her up for adoption without their say so.

All I see in your story is fatherhood failure on all parties. When

I am always telling our GenZ girls, once you get carried away by a 15minutes enjoyment and pregnancy happens, that will alter the trajectory of your life forever. It would take God, guts and grace to live your life to the fullest. I hope this provides additional learning materials for our teenage girls today.

May help come your way.

@ the bolded. Apt!!!!!

GloriousGbola:
I recently had a version of this EXACT convo with my daughter. I showed her an article on Nairaland about a girl who was raped by 4 guys and I told her you cannot be alone with even guys you were friends with growing up because you cannot know what is in their heads.

My annoyance is she never properly took on the taekwaondo lessons, unlike her brother.

Nice! You're doing a great job.

Don't worry, that taekwando classes you think she's not following properly will be activated when she sights danger.

sharpwriter:
Una dey fear say una wan cast abi

I don't know what you're talking about.

No. 7 and 10 points are underrated.

The rate of accidents daily in Abuja when it rains is alarming.

GloriousGbola:
The ones who will bring three friends
Or the ones where you think na date but na actually pay as you go - where next morning babe starts demanding money.

Nazgul contingency plan na to carry them to chickn3 republic where the damage they can do is limited

But I am sure he has other contingency plan.

Me I be old and married man so this na for the guys. A lot of chicks out there are predators and you must not lose guard.

If you are 'gentleman' or 'butta' things can go sideways if you are on a date with a pako chick who was forming buta.

Hahahaha. I see and hear all these things on social media (Nairaland and Twitter) but never witnessed/experienced any of that.

I've never followed any of my friends to dates, that's amusing AF.

Nazgul and his Chicken Republic dates ehn. This guy dey always muzz me.

GloriousGbola:
My man Nazgul.
We need another set of rules for dates with dangerous chicks. I know you will deliver. Do it for the culture.

WTF is dates with dangerous chicks,ĢG.🤣🤣🤣🤣

Nice post.

Another one is

Move with like-minded individuals that love and support growth. They're always beneficial in the long run.

You can see many Friends with benefits in Abuja.

I'm not sure about the Love part though.