₦airaland Forum

Oahray:
those men ( whether in the minority or majority, is inconsequential) who do such don't call ladies _sluts because they feel sexual attraction to them. It's usually because they feel the ladies are dressed or behave like the professional ones seeking customers.

You think men cannot have sexual thoughts about ladies who dress modestly? If you do, you know far less than you think you do. However they wouldn't address them the same way they would a scantily dressed lady.

Tell me, would you think the same thing of a suited presidential candidate and another dressed like a hippie? Dressing leaves an impression. It's not rocket science.

PS: I like how you presumed to know me. Presumptuousness is mostly blind. For the records, I don't call ladies _sluts, but if a lady (this applies to guys too) comes for a job interview bare chested (or nearly), she can forget about the job.

Dress codes apply to everyone. But dress codes are more strictly regulated for women.

But socially, only dress codes exist for women. Women's personalities are judged entirely on their dress. Men do not suffer same.

I do not presume men can control their sexual thoughts in any situation. What I am saying is sexual thoughts are the problem of the person thinking, not the person they're thinking about.

Women wearing niqab still get raped. Dress can't prevent rape or sexual thought.

There is no excuse for mistreating people based on their state of dress.

Tenkobos:
Lemme show you the difference between how a real woman thinks and how a feminist thinks.

IN POLITICS.

Real Woman: Politics in nigeria is a war zone and there many people contesting for this post. We gotta plan and strategitize ahead of time, campaign and put in our best if we want to win.

Feminist: Men have been occupying this position for a long time, it is time they get their women hating ass there and allow a woman to lead.

You really misunderstand feminism. A feminist is the first woman AND the second woman. They are the same woman.

KingCheezyPuff:
[color=#cc00ff]now on them above points, i agree. Paying on dates,I veiw this way:
If a man wants 2 pay,let him
If he wants 2 split . Don't.
if some1 INVITES you out.......they should pay.
....but do you,pay if you like.darn what society says.
❤But this is a whole other topic under gender norms.[/color]

I always just pay my own way. It's fairer.

And also, its protecting myself. I know if a guy invites me out and pays for me, he will expect sex. Then he'll get mad when I don't sleep with him.

When I refuse sex there is a chance he will rape me out of anger. It's so sad that women think like this.

As if him being nice is payment for my body. Another symptom of patriarchy and rape culture.

gold360:
am a social scientist.. and can authoritatively tell you that feminism is a farce.. truth told. men are at the mercies of women. for the average man. is either his mum, sister. girlfriend or wife is exploiting him. so men are the folk that should be crying the gender inequality blue murder

So be a feminist. That should solve your male slavery myth by assigning rights and responsibilities in equal portion to women.

neocortex:
Firstly, if you are being abused or controlled, please run for your life
and if you feared you might be followed , you may get a
restraining order against those telling you what to do.

But if no one is pointing a gun to your head then this your
comment is baseless.

Who is a human if I may ask ?

You want to be free to do whatever you want but you do not want others to think
about what you do.

Every human(both male and female) action attracts judgement, that
is the fact of life and those who wish to achieve success will not
prioritise stopping people from judging them, rather they focus on achieving
their goals.

But if you don't want to be judged, stop interacting with humans simple,
get pets as friend and break up all your relationships with those who judge you.
It is human to judge be it loud or silent, ever since the evolution of humans into
a thinking being, it is impossible to stop it from having an opinion, the genie is
out of the bottle, it can't be caged.

You miss the point entirely.

Women are judged as a gender. Every individual can be judged by every other individual, it is a given.

Example of gender perceptions in action:

If a guy fails a maths test - that guy sucks at maths.

If a woman fails - all women suck at maths.

We need to allow everyone to be individual without these harmful gender perceptions.

Suspectzero:
You think you are a feminist warrior regurgitating things you picked up in western media. Men and Women have never been treated the same and they never will especially in regards to sex. Because we are very different. I support everyone having equal rights but that's where it ends. You can't fight against nature. You are fighting a cause that is not practical. You will be a sad and unhappy person if you continue this way.

Do you know one thing I noticed about radical feminists in the West? It is that they are usually unattractive women who use feminism as a means of getting back at men who rejected them. The attractive women hardly bother with feminism because they know how good they have it the perks their gender and sexuality gives them.

Women want to be seen as sexual objects no matter how much some of them deny it. Why do they wear these tight, body hugging dresses, face full of makeup if it's not to attract the opposite gender? Pay attention to what a woman does and not what she says because there lies her true intentions.

Yawn.

I am not physically unattractive to a lot of men. You would probably label me so because you dislike my personality.

If you support equal rights then you are a feminist, that's the definition.

Everyone has a right to do what they want without judgement. You see women dressing in a way you perceive as sexual and all you can think is that she's doing it to attract you.

How do you know she's not doing it to attract other women? Or some other reason? Men on this forum are ao egocentric. Like everything a woman does is to serve men.

My case in point.

KingCheezyPuff:
[color=#cc00ff]We're saying the same thing..... We've been saying the same thing.
Only you say wear what you want and make men behave.
.........❤not gon happen.
.....❤The realty is we can no more control a man's perceptions than we can a women's right 2 choose what she wears.
.........
...❤you don't like how some men veiw this matter? Ignore those particular males. [/color]

And females who think the same way.

This is a problem that is far deeper than just what you wear. It is representative of patriarchy and all poor attitudes to women.

No matter what a woman does, it is wrong. Don't pay for a date - selfish bitch. Pay for a date - trying to be a man. Have sex - slvt. Don't have sex - prude. There is no middle ground for perceptions of women to exist as individual humans as men do.

Someone has to fight for our rights. It's ok, I'll do it. I'm not afraid of people disliking me.

IamLEGEND1:

if they were just termed slùts,then they got off easy. they should be thrown in jail for public indecency.
you expect to proudly walk around town topless,in full view of kids too young to be exposed to sexual situations and expect no backlash?
Show me a guy who was allowed to walk down the street with his penis hanging out and then I'll agree with u on the "double standards" you've been harping on about.

It happened in old tribes. Kids weren't harmed. Babies see breasts constantly when they're feeding. Or are you against breastfeeding because bobbs are for sex only?

Breasts are not a sexual organ like a d. They're secondary characteristics, like facial hair on men.

You missed the entire point of my post. Well done.

Ontarget:
Where I stay women are enjoying themselves. Same with many places worldwide. Maybe you should move your feminist campaign to a place like Saudi Arabia which is one of the places where women are truly suppressed due to their religious beliefs. You are fighting in the wrong location where women are already enjoying themselves.

Except when guys offer advice and judge their entire personality based on clothing alone. That happens even in America.

Oahray:
Ok, so you believe women should not be told what to wear or not wear but men should be told what to think or not think of it?

Your choices shouldn't have consequences because you are female, right?

On instagram, you know what I noticed? The most creative of guys showed off their art and innovations, while most ladies showed off their scantily-clad bodies and twerk videos. Tomorrow you'd wonder why ladies aren't taken seriously, and blame patriarchy for your own choices and their consequences.

Truth is, you can rant all you wish but the average person would always have an opinion about your actions, and it's something you can't take away from him/her. You have a right to walk about with boobs spilling out, and I have the right to think whatever I please about it.

I'm not telling anyone what to think.

I'm telling you to stop making women responsible for what you think. Stop shaming women for YOUR thoughts.

Don't call women slvts because you had a sexual thought about them. Or any other "reason" you think of.

yinkeys:
You've really got an excellent command of english language

Thank you.

itseintel:
1. What is this patriarchal thought you are talking about?

2. You mentioned in your earlier comments of our fore-fathers not minding being bare breasted, you need to read more about your ancestors... then you'll surely rephrase that....

3. I mentioned the duo in my earlier post because of their wealth character wise...and they ofcourse are living happily married lives and less focused on bashing and whining about the male gender. Their minds are focused on interacting with like minds and not some primitive showings like cleavage....

4. It is fallacious to claim men are given respect on a platter...please make me understand how...

5. On the aspect of advice... women get more advice from their own lot than the male folks....


6. blame your kind who we see cart away with millions for humping around with zero IQ and perfected bodies for already thinking for you.... they adorn magazine's and influence perceptions. Or you'll say you don't have thought out roles for any man in your own life already??

P.s: the word freedom doesn't reflect is true state... male or female, freedom isn't absolute and the society judges both.... just complex issues tends to blow one out of proportion than the other. Men are at the recieving end of this complex world, they rarely get favours but earn them... they fight and not cry wolf....


I do not promote equality but equity, and i sincerely hope you tell the difference.

I do know the difference.

Please go and do some reading. I haven't got the time to educate you on the last thousand years of human sociology.

Google is your friend.

chigoizie7:
Now, I am not wrong when I said u are confused.

Please stick to the topic of discussion dear.

And how dare u generalize that?

U think I don't frown to rapes?

That is your problems, u think u are the only perfect person around, more reason why u try to justify both reasonable and unreasonable things. U think u know it all, and u think u can make everyone see things the way u do, but sweet heart, it doesn't work that way. Allow people to see things differently and not always the way u see it.

As for the rape case, I don't subscribe to it, I frown @ it just like every normal thinking human being will.


Do u expect ur dad to call u a slût if u were raped and not standing up for u and against the rapist?

Answer that, then u will know that making such illustrations on my daughter being raped makes u more confused than anything. No sane man will ever justify rape, and thousands of men are sane. If u think otherwise, if u think that millions if not billions of men do not frown @ rape, I don't think u will see a man who has not raped a lady, as such, more than 90% of women all over the world would have been raped when u view it as a one man to one woman thing.


There are many places all over the world where women go nãked totally, their men does not frown @ it, WHY? because that is who they are, that is common to them.


Stop making what u "want" to be what others will "want".

My dear, allow people to have their views. U had urs, please enjoy what u had, stop engineering others to follow ur steps.

Of course everyone "frowns" on rape.

But instead of assigning blame to rapists, people try to excuse it by saying he was provoked by the woman. Usually by what she was wearing.

I'm not trying to make people want what I want. I am trying to provide choice.

So if a woman wants to be a wife, she can. If she wants to be a busineswoman, she can. Whatever she wants to do, she can, FREE OF JUDGEMENT.

neocortex:
There you have it, this isn't about women wearing what they want but
making men see reasons with you, don't you find that ironic for a supposed
feminists ?

How does it feel like claiming your life don't revolve around men and then
trying everything to get approval/acceptance from the same men ?

I'm not seeking your acceptance. I'm seeking to be treated like a human. Free from your unfair judgements based on my gender.

I'm seeking for you to leave women alone and stop telling them what to do in order to please you.

KingCheezyPuff:
[color=#0099ff][Wrong. The style of dress of women today has everything to do with hyper sexuallization of women.
Do you notice men don't show their bodies but are still considered sexy and attractive to women?
...that's not exactly so for women.

I've had enough of this conversation. Bye. [/color]

No, it's because women are seen as sexual objects. Patriarchy.

Their entire personalities are judged on dress sense. Not so for men.

Men go topless - hot weather.

Women go topless - slvts who deserve to be raped.

Ontarget:
Are men not mistreated too? Or you think women are the only ones at the receiving end?. If you wanna fight kindly do so for the whole of humanity and strip off that "feminist" tag on yourself cos its meaningless and smells of gender selfishness

Feminism is named for the people who started the movement. It does not seek to makewomen more powerful than men.

Females are on the receiving end of sexism day after day.

Do some reading.

Sigh.

neocortex:
You are right, but I don't think anyone will force you not to wear whatever you want,
you may even choose not to wear anything.

But if your aim is to prevent people from having an opinion of what you wear then
you will achieve nothing because freedom of thought is the only freedom that can't
be taken away even under the pain of death.

I think it is better you focus more on wearing whatever you want instead of attempting to blackmail
men to support your decision.

Also, I find it rather interesting that you encourage radicalisation in dressing while you
remain conservative in your own dressing. You harped on about "what I WANT" as if that is
independent of your environment and culture. If you were born an amazonian,
you will be walking around mostly unclad and that will be "what I WANT".

There is a difference between fashion taste and judging a person's entire personality based on what they wear.

Men go topless - it's hot weather.

Women go topless - they're slvts who deserve rape.

KingCheezyPuff:
[No. It's not my tastes. But my resistance to being made into a eye pleader for males.

Then you need to help change the way men think about women, instead of feeding into patriarchal thought patterns.

Ontarget:
Honestly I don't really know what you want because what you are asking for has already been giving to the female folks. You already mentioned that you have already benefited from feminism for being able to work have your independence. This is the same with where I am too. Women are living extremely large and comfortable. So what are we talking about?

Women being shamed and demeaned and treated as inferior to men. Still having to fight to be heard. Being paid less in the same job a man has. Being shamed for what they wear. For being blamed for being raped. And so on.

Attitudes is what I'm complaining about.

Mafking:
Haha sister must you bring my daughter into this (if only you know how much I respect my kids)

on a more serious note we both despise rape
Buh our approaches are different which really shouldn't be a Problem...

Buh you can argue.o
I can't marry someone like you...
You will just kill me before my time..

Buh think about all that i have said.. . OK sweery? ?

I have thought about it. I thought: my God, that poor man.

Your approach to rape is the problem. It iswhy so many rapists are excused from their actions.

I don't care if you don't want to marry me or someone like me. People like me don't want to marry you either.

KingCheezyPuff:
[color=#cc00ff]I feel 2 ways about this.
I don't like the idea of women being policed with respectability politics
.......❤
But I hate the hyper specialization if women in fashion and media that has made women 2 think showing their breast is the way 2 be sexy and attractive. [/color]

That's your taste in fashion. You're allowed to have different taste while still advocating for reduced sexualisation and body shaming.

Sexualisation of women is what leads to body shaming and policing.

chigoizie7:
U re just confused, that's all.

Just know that different people have different views on life.

That fact that u see those ur patriarchal thoughts as something wrong or as un normal, does not mean that other people will see it the same way u did and it does not make it or them wrong.

U saw frowning or shaming of going topless by women as being bad.

Some other people also saw it as a normal thing, must u cajole them to believe in what u believed in?


For crying out loud, even those that has frowned on cleavage exposures or going topless, has never attacked u that has been going topless for God knows how long physically, legally or otherwise.

They have their own views the same way u have yours. So, once again, stop lamenting

I'm not confused at all. I care about all women. I will fight for their rights.

If you future daughter is raped, it is women like me who will stand up for them - while men like you will call them slvts and blame her for "asking" to be raped.

Ontarget:
The difference between men and women is beyond physical. The physical difference is only the most noticeable. Since men have a physical advantage over women they will naturally use it against women in the same way a man will also use it against his fellow man. We are living in a competitive world so this is normal. Besides, I never said that I don't believe in respect for women as you put up there.

I am glad you are an independent woman and since you are advocating for "equality" I hope you can take up responsibilities as a man too. I hope when a broke guy approaches you for romance you wouldn't dismiss him on the grounds of him being broke rather than accepting and spending on him like men do for women. I do hope

Of course. I have supported a couple of boyfriends financially - I can sympathise with the regret felt by men who have done the same for women.

I take care of all my responsibilities - which ones are man responsibilities?

Also, physical dominance is no reason to actually use it. Just because you can beat a woman down doesnt mean women are inferior to men at all.

Besides that, it is untrue. Not all men are physically dominant

You may like to consider that Rhonda Rousey could probably beat down most men. You'd be surprised how physically strong women actually are as they work on farms and things like that.

Mafking:
@firstbolded...stop telling me how to raise my kids... Have you fathered a child before ni

@secondbolded... i never treated you as stupid... have been taking you very serious(I still am).. I don't take stupid people serious

@thirdbolded.. You just cursed my daughters again and I still have said shii about your fam

@fourthbolded.. . I never said anything against your ambition in fact I respect it... I respect strong women

@myadviceforyou.. . What I deduced is that you are very close to a rape victim.. And your hate for rape and ambition to stop it (which are both good things) are affecting you negatively ...
You are too aggressive for a female
Please don't let this things change you..
#OneLove

I am too aggressive for a female?

There you go again with your gender stereotypes.

I never cursed your children. I stated a fact - that your daughters are going to be treated as if they are inferior to men. They will be victims of rape culture like all women.

You can help stop that attitude, but you refuse to take advice from a woman.

jamalnation:
I have nothing to say to u

Then go away.

chigoizie7:
I will beg to differ on that. "Men shaming women or celebrities for showing cleavage"

Women also shame women too,our mothers here in Africa shame such.

Let me be quick to tell u something here. We are africans, we have our values, if u found nothing wrong in such, please stop preaching on us to imbibe such cultures, if u are human enough, please respect who we are.

Can u eat "akpu"? I bet u don't know what it is or what it is used for, but I can't force u to eat it just because it makes us strong, it doesn't mean that some none africans don't eat it, but no one forced them.

So, if our african tradition frowns @ cleavage exposures or not, please allow us to be.

Men are not the only ones that frown @ it, even women u are trying to give a voice to also do.

So, just park one side with this ur going topless or not issue.

It's patriarchal thought, not men. Some men are feminists.

Patriarchal thoughts are held by both genders, I am aware of that fact. Men shaming celebrities was used as an example.

LuveU2:
Tell that to the men who think because they re men can act however they want but would police every movement a woman makes

You dont create an enabling environment for women to be great. Most great women are great because they damned u and other men and what u think altogether.

You dont want great women, u want women who u can walk on as u want.

Wonderful! You're killing it and I love your posts

itseintel:
respect is earned, there are standards to earning respect.... ask the likes of Adichie and Amanpour if exposing cleavage was as important as working their way to recognition and respect.. And people who took them serious saw cleaves before intellect .. mis-direction is the problem facing feminism,not the male gender.... fight that first..

It is patriarchal thought that is the problem facing feminism, not the male gender.

Women should not have to live up impossible patriarchal standards to earn respect. Men are given respect no matter what.

I'm not talking about respect for earning money etc. I'm talking about basic human respect. Being able to do as you please (things that hurt no one), with no judgement. Men do as they please and no one tells them what to do all the time.

Women get "advised" daily on how to behave, what to wear, how to do everything - like we're incapable of thinking for ourselves.

Women are not incapable of thinking.

freshkid144:
ds lady na real fool sha

Why? Elaborate on why I am so foolish.

Rape is so hilarious :-/

chigoizie7:
Since u speak for urslef. Please allow others to speak for themselves

I do. I have a logical arguement. You just do not like it and refuse to accept that women are people that are not in any way inferior to men.

Drabeey:
Emphasis on 'but very silly'
can u explain?

It is very silly because it feeds into an idea that men are superior to women.

It is well intended. Treat your wife well, but don't treat her as an equal.

Not for me.