₦airaland Forum

Dnuel:
1. "WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE"
Whatever will be will not be; you have to make it be. You have a part to play in what will be in your life, so don't leave it to chance.

2. "HALF BREAD IS BETTER THAN NONE!"
Why settle for half bread when you can get a full bread or even own a bakery. This is a limiting belief that positions you to settle for less and it is a mediocre philosophy.

3. "A FOOL AT FORTY IS A FOOL FOREVER"
A fool at any age can be a fool forever if he refuses to let go of his foolishness. It is never too late to become wise because the day you wake up and wise up is the day you CHANGE!

4. "FINGERS ARE NOT EQUAL"
Yes! Physical fingers in your hands are not equal but that does not make any of them valueless. Lose one and you realise that they are all valuable. You are not even a finger, so why look down on yourself.

5. "LIFE BEGINS AT FORTY"
If you are below forty and believe this, I feel so sorry for you because it means you are not yet alive.

6. "WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN"
Is your age coming down? Is your wisdom and knowledge coming down? Is the price of goods coming down? Think my friend!

7. "HE WHO LAUGH LAST, LAUGHS BEST!"
Why laugh last when you can laugh always and why laugh best when laughter is not a competition. When we programmed ourselves with these strange philosophies, they limit and restrict us.

Agreed.

Some good wisdom here.

Prayer is not enough.

Ha!

I think men need to understand this - stripping and prostitution is a means to money. Some women enjoy the act, but it's a job like any other.

That's why offering money to make a woman escape the job is offensive to most women who make a good living this way.

Why would she want to swap financial independence to be dependent on a person and feel obligated to them? It is like being a slave, being bought by a man.

If you think you've fallen in love with a sex worker, think again. It's a strip club not POF.

Her words and actions are motivated purely by money. Just like your actions are when you do your job.

There may of course be exceptions.

Boldwinner:
Source: http://boldwinners..com/2016/07/to-trust-or-not-to-trust.html

I really like this.

Especially the bit about trusting people and not expecting a prespecified response or outcome in return.

Well written.

Owliver:
you are so selfish in your reasoning. always thinking from a female perspective. you would have been worse if you were a male.

you can as well go unclad and expect every man to look away and worry about their deeks not getting up. perfect

how you doing. long time

Your hypocrisy astounds me.

Why should I care what affect my clothing has on men? That is their problem, not mine.

Why should I frame my entire life around men and what each individual man expects from me or how they may react? An individual has no right to expect me to conform to what they subjectively perceive as acceptable.

When a man says "respect yourself and dress appropriately", what he really means to say is "conform to my personal idea of what respectable and appropriate is".

I can't control other's thoughts or actions by the way I dress. The sooner people realise that, the happier they will be.

All I do is respect others, based on the fact that they are human.

bitchcrafts:
I only asked a simple straight forward question oh..

Women and not allowing "stvpid things" like logic ruin their argument tho...

Anyway, I have heard your repeat and repeat OK , and yo VERY RIGHT! and I was VERY WRONG .

Women can in fact start wearing only pants and bra to work and job interviews so far it suits them , Happy now?

As it should be.

You have some lessons to learn on logic.

Mafking:
Hey what do you mean by that That advice is an insult... you didn't have to do that OK

Leave my unborn babies outta this OK Abi na you go teach me how to raise my kids??

And of course all my friends are cool headed(they don't on smoke, drink and all that sh¡t).. they are always conscious...
. Now that you've got my future family and present friends into this now.. . Thank you

Someone's feeling sensitive.

If you are that disgusted by rape then make an active attempt to fight rape culture.

Otherwise, don't be disgusted by rape.

Mafking:
OK me I wish you luck and I will kwontinu to pray for you.. .

Thanks.

You can make a difference also. Educate your children well. Call out your friends for bad attitudes and behaviour. Etc.

Mafking:
Haha you talking about West black... the only thing we have in common with them is that we are black...

The west black freedom of today many people died for it... Many are still willing to die for it as of today...

Look at our country today does it look like rape will stop soon? Hell no!!

Until people are willing and ready to die for what the believe and fight for.. There won't be any changes...

Something is fvcking wrong with our country... rape is just a fruit in the tree of our country's misery...

It was just an example of change due to social awareness, not a comment on Africa.

Every small step counts. When everyone is treated with equal respect things will get better.

Those who stand back and witness bad things happen are just as bad as those who have performed the bad acts.

Social change is not easy, but it can be done. Just because something isn't easy, doesn't mean it isn't worth doing.

Mafking:
Hmmm i once write a poem on rape(it was powerful even for me) cus I had to feel a bit of what rape victims feel.... It was the saddest poem I ever write

Buh the truth is there is little or nothing you can do about it...

IN nigeria today rape doesn't really count as a crime anymore...
I mean there are far more pressing crimes(Not according to me

Once black people's rights in the west were seen as inferior and unimportant compared with other things. It changed. Because people stood up and talked.

All we can do is fight the status quo until more people listen and change their attitude.

When people respect each other life is better for everyone. I will never stop fighting for that.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]My view about exes: I support the no contact rule (don't contact them first). They don't want you in their life no more, so don't bug them by trying to initiate contact. But when they contact you first, don't be a jerk by ignoring them totally. Never use more than 6 words to reply them. The idea is not to totally close the doors or burn the bridges. And only reply them when you feel like. They are no longer paramount in your life, remember?

And lastly, never ever go back into a relationship with an ex. . . Ever. They'll only return for a while, and break your heart version 2.0 and leave you in a worse state than version 1.0.[/color]

Agreed.

And piptoes - it is like coming off a drug. Everytime you get "validation" (your drug) from your ex, the addiction cycle can start again.

The no contact rule is not for making him come back. It is for helping you deal with heartbreak.

I would suggest not replying him for a month. Then, if he still contacts you, maybe you feel atrong enough to talk without falling into your emotion for him again.

If he wants you back, very seriously, he will find a very serious and genuine way to let you know. Not a lazy text or facebook message. Not a throwaway comment. A genuine, serious method with genuine, serious words.

Just keep going on without him for now.

By dropping you, this guy has made a space in your life for something more wonderful

Mafking:
What about All your niggers in the North that have legalized rape all in the name of culture and religion

I feel for females

My n-people?

I abhor any culture or religious teaching that removes women's autonomy. I'm trying to fight back.

bitchcrafts:
I already mentioned the highlighted when i said the rape whirlwind is endemic tho... Now, Compare and contrast, a bank where the bank officials are very meticulous in their dealings and the one very open, loose and carefree with the money, which's more liable to getting pilfered?

So if rape is going to happen, mostly perpetrated bu friends and family, what do you suggest women do?

Exercise the normal amount of security exercised by all people (protecting themselves against theft, arson, murder, violence), or have women segregated from men (potential rapists) at all times?

Everyone exercises personal security, women and men. It doesn't stop crime.

Next in the news: to avoid robbery, don't own anything. To avoid rape, don't be a woman. To avoid murder, be dead already.

Do you go to any extreme lengths to protect YOURSELF from rape? Probably not. But it still may happen to you. You just go about with a normal amount of personal care and protection.

If rape is endemic, then maybe we should focus MORE on teaching men not to rape, than on how women can protect themselves. Especially since rape is not commonly done by strangers in dark streets, it is done by friends and family.

When men have such a huge panel of "defences" for why they do this crime, including women not protecting themselves adequately, then this crime will still be endemic.

Solution: teach men not to rape. Just like we teach people not to steal and murder.

ariyebaba:
Lol

U r back ?

Back from vacation :-)

And ban lol

Smh.

Jay542:
But its not expensive. Some are just stingy/dirty.

:/

When you have nose bleed do you use pad or tampon?

Or do you use tissue or cloth?

DrinkWater10:
Next time put an 'an' before the word 'olosho' which should be quoted so that it makes more sense.
PS if you put up your own cleavage pics, i will not term you an 'olosho'. Try me

Apologies for the missed article. Typographical error.

How is tissue or cloth any different to pad or tampon?

Some women use sponge. Some use cup.

Some are too poor.

bitchcrafts:
Well, That makes sense my darling! But why not a more comprehensive approach? Like Teach women to protect themselves, teach men not to rape, Teach them it's inexcusable under any circumstance?

Everyone is taught to protect themselves from certain things. People lock their houses to prevent theft for example. No one blames a person when they are robbed.

By teaching women to protect themselves against this specific thing also teaches them that they are partially responsible when rape occurs.

Which is why when women attempt to prosecute this crime they are asked "what were you wearing, have you had sex before" to try to excuse what happened and assign the blame to the woman. These questions are irrelevant.

After robbery, no one asks "how was your house painted, did you ever give your money to charity before" etc. because its irrelevant.

Women are not in the slightest responsible for getting raped. No one is responsible for crimes perpetrated against them.

Rape will occur regardless of what women do. Even if they stayed home and hid under the bed all the time. Because the vast majority of rapes are not done by strangers or random attackers on dark streets. Most women are raped by men they know - friends and family members.

thekingisback:
look I'm even doing them a favour by marrying them.

Really? Please don't ever marry me, then.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]You chose to tag yourself a feminist. And you'll do anything to paint the female gender in white, even when they are caught red-handed. Fine. Your choice. But don't always get emotional "defending"your gender.

God created all things with free will. Everyone he made, he gave common sense and the ability to think and make decisions. Only a robot's life is predestined. You, as a human with thinking faculty, you choose your own path.

Brain dead humans cannot make a choice.

Can you explain suicide? People commit suicide because they choose to.

Satan made himself evil. Just the same way I can decide to be evil if I want. It's just a matter of choice. Eve the first woman wasn't forced to eat the fruit. She made a choice to eat it. Again, I don't care if you choose to believe that or not since it's more convenient for you to blame God, than for you to blame a woman for her choice and actions.

You're boring me with this long ass talk about feminism. Doesn't make sense to me, so, forgive me if I do not reply another whitewash attempt by you, to paint over what I already know.

Cheers.[/color]

You are the one getting emotional, my friend.

I think all those emotions are getting in the way of your logic, since you haven't been able to answer any of the questions which you demand I answer.

I understand it is hard for you to take this from a woman. But rest assured, I am human like you. A child of God.

It's just that I'm a bit more objective and logical. I like to learn and I'm more than happy to change my ideas when I am presented with new evidence.

You haven't provided anything. You've demanded answers from me, told me I'm wrong, and then blamed me for all the evil in the world.

Not all women are perfect. Not all men are perfect.

We all have two parents. Men are sons of Eve. Women are daughters of Adam. Logic.

I forgive you for your hatred. But I have a feeling you'll always hate me.

thekingisback:
I've often listen to some confused educated illiterates both here on nairaland and outside nairaland. They say polygamy it's a sin and it's morally wrong. Please how is it morally wrong? Where in the bible was it written that polygamy is wrong? Polygamy as far as I'm concerned is the best thing that ever happened to Africa. Polygamy creates a balance.

Polygamy allows a man to have varieties of women and also the ability to test his sexual potency. Only real men can marry more than one wife. In a country like Nigeria where the number of females outnumbers the number of males 10:1, it is necessary that polygamy is adequately practiced in order to reduce the number of single women in the country. Though I wasn't born into a polygamous home but I'm going to get married to 7 wives.

I hope you don't mind they have other husband too

Anyway, nothing wrong wit being a single woman.

thekingisback:
I've often listen to some confused educated illiterates both here on nairaland and outside nairaland. They say polygamy it's a sin and it's morally wrong. Please how is it morally wrong? Where in the bible was it written that polygamy is wrong? Polygamy as far as I'm concerned is the best thing that ever happened to Africa. Polygamy creates a balance.

Polygamy allows a man to have varieties of women and also the ability to test his sexual potency. Only real men can marry more than one wife. In a country like Nigeria where the number of females outnumbers the number of males 10:1, it is necessary that polygamy is adequately practiced in order to reduce the number of single women in the country. Though I wasn't born into a polygamous home but I'm going to get married to 7 wives.

I hope you don't mind they have other husband too

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]Lol @ "you hate women".

I don't have time for your mind games. You're on a mission to paint all women as saints, I prefer to be brutally honest about issues, no matter who is involved.

Sorry if I hurt your feelings. But i'm not one to sugar coat anybody to make them feel good about themselves or their gender.

His actions are a direct reaction to the actions of the ladies in his life. I don't care if you don't accept that fact.[/color]

I'm not painting women as saints. Where did I do that? Women are humans like men.

He's asking for advice for what to do. I advised well.

Two wrongs don't make a right. You seem to think that if soneone treats you badly, then you can treat them badly in return.

That's not on.

bitchcrafts:
Who's talking about consent?
Look here, you're getting me totally wrong ! While at it that the rape act is inexcusable, it still is a pandemic. It is even gonna persist to be endemic- call me pessimist but that's the truth! ; Rape is arguably as old as man. I mean, The mere fact that you got a pusee pasted in between your two legs is sure gonna attract the daredevil rapist just like the sweet scent of nectar attracts bees. Don't u fukcing gerit?

So, it is yr fukcing responsibility[/I] as a lady to fukcing look after your fukcing self! Nobody's gonna do that for ya! ; [i]The company you keep, where you go and when you go there, how you carry yourself, what you wear and how you wear what you wear and stuffs like that! ; yo doing this not just because yo apprehensive af being raped which is in all sense not a fool proof a preventive measure but also because you are a woman; you represent dignity, you are beauty, you command respect so you should allow me to just by seeing you respect you ; packaging yourself well, dress well... Skimpy dresses, bump shots etc should be kept at home for house chores, making your man's head tumble in arousal etc... Long enough dresses should follow you out; u know how glorious Michelle Obama look in those loose, beautiful long gowns right? uhlalah! Damn Hot , American women in their suits and long pant? Yikes! boss lady and so on and so forth....

I'm not gonna argue this any further, if u can't get yourself to see things from my perspective after all these painstaking long talk, you can as well Go Fukc yourself! Ciao..

You have contradicted yourself.

Ladies look hot covered up and uncovered. But rapists only target those that are uncovered regardless of how hot they look? Untrue. Women who wear niqab get raped, too.

I do see things from your perspective, but your perspective is warped.

Instead of teaching women to protect themselves, teach men not to rape. Teach them it's unexcusable under any circumstance.

What you are doing is telling men that rape is bad, but if a woman is wearing something that makes them look desirable (either short clothes or a pant suit) then it's ok.

It is never ok.

P.s. rape is very rarely about sex. It is about power.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]You're right.

The strength and conviction and maturity his 2 exes woefully failed to have when they left him at first. Makes one wonder what they want this time by returning to him since they didn't have the strength and conviction to prove their love by not being distracted to leave him in the first place.[/color]

Funny how this guy asks about advice on what HE can do, and all you can focus on is the women.

Maybe they're awful.

But that doesn't mean he's behaved well. Doesn't mean his triple dating actions are excused.

He's asking advice on HIS actions, not a comment on THOSE individuals' behaviours.

We get it - you hate women.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]God created Angels. Not Lucifer. Satan chose to be what he was. He made a choice.

You also choose what you want to be, don't you? Were you born a feminist? [/color]

I'm not going to argue this forever.

So here are my thoughts:

God created everything, included in that everything is evil.

God knows all, therefore he knows when any evil is going to happen ahead of time.

God determines everyone's paths, their steps and their destiny. Everything is predestined by God's hand, including evil acts.

It logically follows that God created evil, knows it will happen and has determined when anyone will take an evil turn. Eve and Lucifer included.

If Lucifer "created" evil when he rebelled, then Eve was not to blame. Also, she had no knowledge of evil and didn't know that disobeying God was evil. She innocently disobeyed, because she had no idea what evil was. Much like a child who disobeys a parent.

If you were more logical you could have put forward that overall, everything works together for good. That God created evil in order to teach us the value of good and truly appreciate Him.

As for feminism. Yes, I was born a feminist. Everyone was. Feminism is the opposite to misogyny (hatred of women). To put it another way, I was not born with hate in my heart. Nobody is.

I do not believe women are less deserving of respect and good treatment than men. Same way black people are not less deserving than white people. Disabled and able-bodied.

Hate is learned, not inherent. We are taught by society to hate various things, depending on how we are raised. Unfortunately, the bible is one tool used to teach hate - often under the guise of morality or even love.

There is no reason or excuse to hate.

I love. I love everyone. Regardless of how hard it is. And I will fight for everyone's right to be loved, no matter how much you personally hate them.

I get that you hate women. But you have no real justification for that, only personal bias.

7Randall:
Replying PM has ntn 2 do with drama

Does for me. I'm not interested in havinv my identity exposed. I've got stuffs going on.

Ifakiland:
yea if u say am immature ure probably rite...but d case at hand is me being in love with one gal (my 3yrs+ gf) and 2 oda gals "madly" in love with me (of wish I just like dem)...how do I tell off d oda two gals without hurting deir feelings or dey going "gangster on me. gals av been known to be really violent lately.

You don't tell them off. You say you're with someone, you don't love them and you don't want them.

If you're going to triple date out of fear of violence then you're going to end up with countless girlfriends.

If they threaten violence tell them one day they'll meet a man they don't need to threaten in order to be in a relationship.

If thet persist BLOCK THEM.

It's pretty simple stuff. Go with the one you love. Ignore all others.

Sack up. God is protecting you. You also have the law on your side. Do the right thing for crying out loud.

7Randall:
U dnt want to reply my PM

I don't reply pm. I don't need no dramas in my life.

What is up, what do you want to talk abt?

Well I hope ppl don't think you are olosho for posting cleavage pics.

You know what kind of hell a woman would get for going topless here?

Put a shirt on!

Welcome to the jungle...