₦airaland Forum

The toilet seat. Do you all wonder how writers come about with crazy ideas on writings? Ask Michael Ogah, ask Farida Adamu, it is the same thing. The toilet seat. That's where I am seated right now, let's see if the stuff I will write is going to be crazy.

My love life has been one funny entity. From when my heart started beating, I discovered I could love. It was Nana first, I said my first words to her (so I was told), when I saw her, I stuttered, stammered and then my voice came out sounding shrill, I screamed...

"Ke yarinya"

Everybody in the compound ran to my side. They all wondered how I was able to fathom that without being told. I had been late in crawling and when it came to walking, I was said to listen to the ground each time I made an attempt. No amount of push and pull would made me leave the ground. But guess what? A girl made me take my first steps, I was chasing her.

After my first speech, I had not seen the girl again. I saw her years letter when she was to be married off to an Alhaji. Well, marriages were swift in the north. My prayer was for the monster VVF to keep its fingers off Nana.

My second love, can I ever forget her? Aunty Grace. She was my classroom teacher. Beautiful, tall and had a charming smile. She had only flogged me once and that was in correcting me. She wanted me to use the words, "I want to ease my self Aunty" instead of "I wan go piss Aunty". Everyday, I sat and dreamed of me growing up quickly and marrying her. My heart was broken when our school was divided into two... Lypson Quality & Top Quality.

After recovering from the heartbreak, I fell in love with Unoma. O Unoma, the beautiful flower girl of my neighbours who got married. I did all I could to get her attention. All through the wedding, I was looking at her and smiling. My friends dissuaded me. They said I should stop dreaming of her, I would never get her. How wrong were they. We were playing one day outside when someone blindfolded me with her hand. On removing it, there stood Unoma smiling, her eyes sparkling while I levitated. I was suspended in the air for seconds, the world paused and everything revolved only between the two of us. I still cherish that moment to this day. *sniffs*

We broke up, how? I left for boarding school in Abuja. I returned to discover that one dude named Ugochukwu had snatched her. I fought karate for her love, he fought bravely but I won. She left for school too after that. O Unoma, Unoma, I want to marry you, give me your love.. That was my remixed song for her.

I found love again, this time in school, my Aunt's place. Tuna. That beautiful, black princess from Kaduna. Silent but caring in ways I couldn't understand. Then I was already 10 so knew what it was to approach a girl. It was no longer giving her a gift or entering into their play. It was more complicated as my heart would beat each time I saw her. I later got to know I lacked the liver to approach her. I gave her up.

Sara came next, followed by Aisha, then Victoria and now I have lose count. Well, each holds a special place in my heart. Falling in love and staying in love even after separating has a way of making love the greatest feeling in this world. You won't find it in your heart to think evil about that person, you just re-live the memories over and over again.

Now I am in love. Beautiful, dark, calm and angellic. My fear is the koboko I would receive if I go to the house to profess my love. Well, you know yourself and this is my avenue for proposing my love.

Please say I do and save me the beatings...



Love you...
Attai

[quote author=Mynd_44]Jay bee. This guy is trolling[/quote]I am not. Please take your issues off me.

MissYuzedo: Odonlodolo

**blindfolds eyes**

My people on NL, I have been screaming New Year Resolution since that my love, american love will not pass me this year. Well, I have a friend called Dada because he was born with dreadlocks, that same guy have the gift for prophecy.

He said the first female NL member to comment on my thread will become my angelly angella. I am stating the obvious o, so think before you start commenting.

And uhm, happy sunday to y'all o jawe... Let me come back with a Romantic Story for the day...

Wallahi... Especially that Asokoro extension region. Too bad, we have houses with no occupants in them..

runzlord: Go to the bathroom, bath, dress up, then go outside and stop every pretty lady

Help me intead you are giving me hard work... Be fair to me na

I am really down right now. I just discovered just yesterday that we are in 2014. When did the new year set in self?

My new year resolution of finding love on the first day of the new year has been cheated. Haba, no nairalander even called me to inform me.

Well, if your new year resolution contains love, can you please tell me how it is? I really need to fall in love this year.

Help me o, don't allow this year pass me in vain.

stefikal: O.Y.O things

I just replied your mail wo.

Harbosede02: Wah wud happen if u don't "browse ha system"??

Men, you want to go so deep eh? Why na only that part you see self?

Sammy0two: Give ha ur atm card nd ur pin. Na she go dey gv u face

Kai, ATM? You wan finish me ni?

sexymoma: Take style get her Fb username.
Come send am message say you dey come her cafe say make she give you her digits.


Buh You Go Wyn Am Wel Wel O

I just use style go there, na Excel she dey do ooo

Aystarz: Obviously someone here needs to work on his self esteem. Come on dude... Snap outta of it and be a man. Go on and make that move naw. U're welcome in advance.

Self-esteem?

That time no dey na. I need words to tell her jor

Don't just view...

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right now I am in a cafe and the attendant is as beautiful as beauty itself. I have been looking at her o but each time I try to make a move, my tongue automatically ties. I have tried all the skills I have been reading in the Romance Section since the time of my Cousin (that dude get luck ooo), but for where, the babe no dey look my face.

I have tucked my stomach in, as per I fat, I had to place the sexiest smile on my face but my voice? Men, it wasn't just coming out. I want her name and number, I want too browse her system.

Please help a brother before I go crazy ooooo.....

Chei, this babe no go kill me.....

Please start submitting your suggestions...

jay bee: Yo boss, still waiting on you as per that ish

I'm headed to a cafe right now. Please no delays wo, N100 per hour no be beans...

seriously, I am waiting for you there right now...

TrishaP: Your always confuse.

Jesu...

You!!!!

**Faints**

TrishaP

"T"? Now I am confused...

You guys should bail me out

yemi2plus: Ishilove

Young man, you are still infactuating eh...