₦airaland Forum

meagainstdem:
Could you please shed more light on these changes so that one would get prepared ahead? And if it's something that does not worth it, one can shift attention elsewhere.
It would be suicidal for someone who is a bit comfortable here in naija to want to travel out for better comfortability, and get over there and be plunged into lesser life due to unfavorable immigration upturn, after spending a fortune.
Thanks

- Immigration surcharge is increasing by over 30%, potentially deterring employers from taking in international candidates
- They are contemplating reducing the post-study period by 6 months. Less time to find a job
- Int'l graduates to be restricted from jobs with requirements below the graduate qualification..so jobs like care and possibly some social care roles are off the table.
- Minimum salary requirements are expected to increase further above the average UK wage
- Employers must show strong evidence they tried to recruit locally and invested in training before they can take on Int'l graduates

The general direction is to make it harder for int'l students to stay after their studies......in other words, they want your tuition money but will prefer you leave after your studies.

Mariangeles:
@bolded, you mean you with them, or them with your mum?

them with my mum. None of the wives could get along with my mum.

A lot has changed recently (and is changing) in the UK, and probably not for the good of recent immigrants.

Do your due diligence and plan well before committing millions to this project.

I wish you the best.

Ogalanyaidi:
I hope things have changed for the better

Yes, they did after a while. I am in a much better place mentally and financially.

I still have an awkward relationship with my mum, but that is probably the same with all my siblings right now.

It's my one pain in life - not being able to have a close relationship with my mum as most people do.

immortalcrown:
Be wise, or get wiser if you are already wise. If your piece of land is not far from your place of residence, sell only your car, use the money to build 'any how' structure on the piece of land as a shelter for you and your family, at least, to prevent moving to village where things will likely get worse between you and your mother. Then, hustle for just feeding. If you still have some money left after building the structure, start a minor (roadside) business for your wife or buy a fairly-used mini bus and become a commercial driver. The downfall of a man is not the end of his life, unless he fails to rise again.

Suicide will only worsen the situation. Your wife and child will suffer. Your mother or whoever is responsible for your frustration will torture your wife and your child. Just as someone already pointed out, your mother may not even be the one responsible for your problem.

Thanks, I'll keep pushing things to see how it goes

immortalcrown:
If you have sincerely apologized to her, things will definitely get better for you soon. Just be patient.

I'm at my last straw already. I am thinking of selling what I have left (a car and a land) and either opening a trust for my son and committing suicide or tryin another venture (which will most likely fail).

I have rising debts, my house rent is due in some days time and I'm losing my mind.

immortalcrown:
Kneel before her, beg her to forgive you and renounce the curse. If she refuses, implore her people (her parents and siblings) to assist you in begging her. Do not force her oh! After begging her, things will get better for you, even if she does not openly renounce the curse.

I have done this during the reconciliation bro, infact one of my uncles, who probably didnt know much about my situation asked her to renounce all the bad things she had been saying to me because he had heard her say them in the past.

Honestly, even she isn't better off. Because she isn't really working and she depends on us for support. But since, I am down financially, she is even worse-off, because she depends on us and I was the main person assisting among the children.

Dear family section members,

Please I need matured advice on an issue that has bothered me for almost two years now.

I got married about two years ago, without the support of my mum (my dad is late). She strongly opposed the wedding without any reasonable justification but I still had my way, thanks to family members (maternal and paternal) and my bride's family who stood firm in the face of the obvious animosity she displayed throughout every stage of the wedding. My mum is a fairly domineering person, and somehow I feel she was greatly offended that the wedding stuff was not her call and she wasn't the one calling all the shots. During the wedding planning, my mum picked issues with almost everyone that supported my marriage and every action that was taken. She made a lot of nasty comments that I never imagined a mother will make to her child. To be fair when it became unbearable for me (because at a point in time, I was getting psychologically depressed with her aggressive quarreling with anyone connected with the wedding), I confronted her and we had a heated argument. After the argument, she became calm, but kept mentioning that I'll regret. I have money and that is why I can talk when she talks.. I took note of this particular comment among all the ones she kept saying because I wondered how my mother who was a major beneficiary of my success will keep saying such.

hmmm, people truly, over the past 18 months, I have gone from a net provider to someone who scrapes to earn a living. I have worked for more employers than I am willing to admit because, each time I joined a company something happens and the company folds up or lays off staff. I have had several instances where offer letters for employment was issued but at the last minute, the HR person just goes cold and rescinds the decision without any explanation. In fact in one instance, I had an insider who informed me that one board member just refused to sign my offer letter without any real reason.

I have tried business too, and at the last step when I am to be awarded the contract, everything just falls apart in a manner that is difficult to explain. I have a failed at so many other things over the past 18 months. I used to be this kind of person with a sterling record at almost everything I did, so failing at so many things was difficult and I lost a lot of my self confidence and even the willingness to explore things because I was becoming deeply embarassed at hw I was failing.

I am not one for superstition, but honestly, I tempted to believe I am impacted by a curse and the timeline and incidences suggest, it's my mum.

Please any one knows how I can go about dealing with curses, I just lost my last job this Dec because company lost a key contract and failed at a bid it was expecting to secure. I enter 2020 unemployed and getting more and more depressed.

As for my mum, we are cool now, although things never went back to the way they were before. Some friends and family members facilitated a "reconciliation" we both said she has forgiven me for my wrong doings and she holds no grudge (in my culture the elders are always right o, so I just played along and asked for forgiveness). She doesnt call to know how my family is except when I visit. She is even a grand mother now, and she doesn't call to know if the child is fine or not. to cut the long stry short, she cares less about the family, even though when we visit, she puts up this appearance of being happy with us.

PS - I dont regret the decision of marrying my wife or our kid, they God's blessings to me in my darkest night. I just want to know if there is a solution to my predicarment, and I also dont want to do anything fetish.