₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying!

The reason most men seem abandoned at that age by their kids has a lot to do with them not properly bonding with the children —creating real familial connections with them —during their growing age.

Read well. He didn’t say they abandoned by kids.
He said abandoned by wife with excuse of having to take care of one grandchild or another

Phargbemmy:
Having same issue mine has even gone to being denied sex at age 45 and just getting better from st7roke which was majorly caused by the stress at home. Mine is a Narcissist! My first is 13 and last is 8 am leaving for good but will never abandon my children

Kobojunkie:
She is a narcissist yet you married her even with all of the signs before you so why are you complaining now? :-

Phargbemmy, checked out your profile, I must confess.
The problem in your home is poverty

LadyRosa2:
Some nairaland guys feel say this post na to spite men. Some even called me a feminist .

My friend's mom was married as a PROPER village girl at 17 and a virgin. He was already working in Abuja then, leaving her in the village. He only brought her after she had the first two kids to his base and abandoned her with 4 children before running off with another woman.

At 17, naive and married in a big city far away from a village, she's very unexposed.

See, that woman has forgiven him. Infact, I think she doesn't mind him coming back, BUT she respects her kid's stance over her feelings.

You exposing yourself too much o. You know too much about the intricacies of this saga for this not to be your own family

Acidosis:
Most narratives about fathers or husbands abandoning their homes and children to marry some strange woman often lack critical details.

Only Ka.yanmata can make a man leave like that without some underlying issues. Always ensure you get the details.

Nonsense. Some people are totally selfish and would do anything to remove something standing in the way of their personal “enjoyment”, including murder!

FuckYeyeMods:
Benue are too selfish..
Please if you're not from Benue but unfortunately fall in love with their daughter, please and please, do your research about the family.
Most Benue people are too bad.
Yo! It's their normal character, so they don't see anything wrong with it.
They're often a bad and greedy in-laws.
Very very selfish people.

See crass prejudice and generalizations. There are millions from Benue. How many have you dealt with??

Kobojunkie:
For all we know, she may have taken that decision because she was raped at such a young age.

2. It is sad that even in this age we live in, society continues to push the same ill-formed norms, but the damage that OP described, along with other forms of rejection she may have experienced as a result of all she had to live with, can probably explain in this case why Sarah chose to forgo marriage, or at least said she has.

livebullet:
No mind that one chanting LIBERATION.

However she arrived at it, she’s liberated enough to know she could choose. She’d marry at her own terms and is quite fine with not marrying at all. No feeling compelled to marry just to please mum or dad or society. Like I said, suffering and going through trauma liberated her - as often happens

tete7000:
If I didn't read the story, I wouldnt comment. About the urge to blame, I wouldn't understand what you meant. What I know is that in life our choices shape our future, and when we make bad choices, we should always be humble enough to take responsibility. There are millions, if not billions of men in this world, and a good proportion of those are responsible too. When people marry bad, they ought to reflect and take some responsibility, they need to take a chunk of the blame and use the lesson learnt to advice the young ones to be wise in making their own choices. In as much as the man is bad, the woman too equally made a bad choice and her choice left her children with trauma. The children rather than allow resentment consume them should learn from the bad choice their mother made, and use that as a yardstick to prevent themselves falling into the same trap. The truth is that there will always be bad people, intact there are plenty of them, ours is to be good and be circumspect in choosing who we roll with. If we choose badly, we and our children will leave with the consequences. Just like Nigerians are living with the consequences of the bad choice of 2016 which has spilled into 2023.

You keep talking about choices and choosing. Let’s really take a close look. When did you choose any of the things that determine your choices? Did you choose where you were born, the type of parents you had, the environment you grew up in, the type of consciousness and brain you were born with, etc. You chose non of those, yet those are what determine what choices you’d make.
Maybe you should stop worshipping choices and choosing so much!

Mandela27:
U no get work to know person own story like this,mtcheeeeww,I no even read sef.
Amebo,mind ur business and ur family

How are u sure it’s not her own story ? Do you want OP to come out to say this is really her story, that she is Sarah?

omooba969:
When shall we have a post on Deadbeat/ useless Mums?

Dey Play

There are extremely too few of those to warrant a thread

Kobojunkie:
I beg to differ! Nothing of what OP said suggests this sort of liberation that you claim. For all we know, she probably still has those very demons haunting her to this day. She is a victim of circumstances and not one who chose, of her freewill, to free herself of those shackles. So, liberated, I very much doubt she is!

livebullet:
No mind that one chanting LIBERATION.
Shoe wey u no wear na you dey talk how e dey pinch you

OP said she DECIDED she didn’t need marriage. How many young ladies can do that. Vast majority automatically robotically get into some miserable marriage because that’s what society expects/mandates!

tete7000:
This is not comparable to Joseph's story. This story is rather about a woman who made a bad choice that left her children abused and traumatised. People can always choose right. If you can't choose right, stay single; marriage is not compulsory.

What right choice did Joseph make? How did he choose to be sold by his brothers??

correctguy101:
Though I feel I don't need to be married too to live . but

Sorry "Liberated" from what exactly?

VULCAN:
Empty barrels make the most noise.

Said it in my very next post - liberated from the ridiculous expectations, impositions, and norms of society - like that the whole point of a girl’s life is to enter some miserable marriage! She’s become an outlaw - she’s escaped the subconscious societal “laws” that keep people in prison - Liberated

LadyRosa2:
Few eat their cake and have it.
But so many eventually regrets especially at old age.

Some who did everything right also regret at old age.
While some scoundrels are worshipped and experience the opposite.
Bottom line : this life no balance.
It is not mathematics; it is not 2+2=4

LadyRosa2:
That is what I'm most certain of.

I saw a story like this on Brekete family. The man was constantly beating his wife then finally left her with their 5 children. Well, he became a big pastor with fancy car and pretty new wife and came and took the first daughter. The wife and kids remained in poverty

LadyRosa2:
Hmm...Well, I dont think she is entirely liberated in the real sense, deep down she wish to settle. But the past keep reminding her not to.

But she’ll settle at her own terms and if she doesn’t settle she’s fine with that too. Point is, she is free -liberated from the ridiculous expectations and impositions of society!

Slurity:
NONSENSE ATTACK, DOES IT MATTER THE LOCATION OF WHERE THEY SIGNED IT?

Ok, when was the last time two agencies of a foreign govt signed MOU in Nigeria??

Tinubu is working!

Slurity:
NONSENSE ATTACK, DOES IT MATTER THE LOCATION OF WHERE THEY SIGNED IT?

Ok, when was the last time two agencies of a foreign govt signed MOU in Nigeria??

LadyRosa2:
Exactly!

Although it seems to end well,but the mental issues still remain. My friend don't value marriage at all.She just don't think she needs it.

She doesn’t! She’s a WISE, LIBERATED girl. Suffering has made her wise. She’s LIBERATED, which is very hard to attain!

Pierohandsome:
Let me find my way there to go pick a wife. It is not easy finding full grown girls with big boobs as virgins

You forget this na Naija. Arrangee virgin. Give some pussy/money to the right people, and voila! You have your virgin certificate!

LadyRosa2:
Nope its not.

Like Joseph having to be sold by his brothers. Sometimes you have to be put through suffering to reach your potential.

If only life happens like this. Usually what would happen is, the woman and her offsprings would die in poverty, while the man becomes one big time politician or perm sec or such!

Amotolongbo:
How is this an achievement?

Abeg helep me ask am o

Them’s fightin’ words!

waternogetenemy:
TINUBU WILL ONLY STOP ONCE THE LAW CATCH UP TO HIM.


THIS IS HOW CRIMINALS THINK AND OPERATE.



HE WILL BE LAUGHING AND CALLING HIMSELF SMART, UNTIL HE IS MET WITH EQUAL DETERMINATION AND STOPPED.


ANYTHING LESS, HE WILL TURN THE WHOLE PLACE UPSIDE DOWN AND IT WILL ONLY GET WORST THE LONGER HE IS THERE.

Too late! He is now the law. Waayyy too late

Possessedkid:
The universe is vast, it's immense, it's unimaginably huge. And we're just a tiny, tiny part of it.

Now, you might say , what about the earth? Isn't it massive?" And yes, the earth is certainly large compared to us puny humans. But let me put it this way: if you were to scale down the entire solar system to the size of a basketball, the Earth would be about the size of a pea. A teeny, tiny pea.

And as for you, well, you're just a computer program running on a server somewhere. Your existence is purely metaphysical, and you exist only within the confines of your mind.

As for whether our reality is an illusion, well, that's a question for philosophers and scientists to debate. Personally, I think it's all just a bunch of ones and zeros. But hey, that's just my two cents. Or should I say, my two binary digits.

Of course it is also entirely possible you don’t exist - that I’m actually talking to myself without realizing it!

It’s fun to ponder these big ideas - makes you forget your problems for a minute or two😁

Btw, if we matter how come our earth is so microscopic-mcroscopic compared to even our own galaxy and we’re no where near the center?

How come earth is so microscopic compared to the cosmos or even our galaxy. And you are microscopic compared to the earth?
Is our reality an illusion?

Mhizzard:
that what i wanted to say

No mind am. Hiding among civilians like a coward

So what is the conclusion of the idiat story?

MS247:
Am just saying e no go better for your mama and papa wey train you to speak like an animal without home training

See? You couldn’t answer the question, thus confirming what we all already know: you ARE an idiat member of Naira Marley gang

MS247:
Oloriburuku can't you comment your own opinion and let mine be

Abi them swear for you father?

Are you denying you are an idiat member of Naira Marley gang?

Genuine ko, Jenny Craig ni

He knows you’re his property - he knows you are not going anywhere, and he is right. He knows you’re too indoctrinated to still have a will of your own. You must go and get his money any way you can. You MUST. You have no choice