₦airaland Forum

babaidan:
still need advice

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

wfjimmytobby:
There is this calm girl and decent I met about a year and half ago. We met and vibe then start about a week after we met.

She was loving real, not materialistic and very smart, this make me fall more for her..

She was in her final year in school when we meet and she didn’t let her studies affect our relationship. She was always active, infact she was more dedicated and active than me. So I made up my mind that after she is done with school and all I should be able to probably settle down with her.

So fast forward to a month ago, she suddenly changed. She stopped talking to me reply my messages and kept asking her what’s wrong she ain’t giving me any answer despite all my efforts..

Then after that she asked me to leave her alone…though she didn’t block me on her socials and she is not doing any suspicious it really shocking to me. For a girl that craves for my attention all this time and after have already start giving her my 100% she suddenly switch and wants me to leave her alone..

It really surprising and after I thought about everything the only wrong was that I do get mad at her if we had an appointment and she didn’t turn up that’s all..we didn’t even fight or argued much through out the time we were together…now in the situation the question is should I just give up on her and move on or I should give it more time hoping to get answers to what’s wrong…

Privateworld:
Honestlyi don't have that patience again. I'm already tired. I don't want to wait and regret later

IzunnaOkafor:
https://onyokomita.com/anambra-man-cries-for-help-as-stranded-ebonyi-young-girl-he-helped-during-pregnancy/

"I Took in a Pregnant Girl Whose Boyfriend Abandoned Her, Cared for Her and the Baby, She Ran Away With All My Money and Properties"

– Heartbroken man cries out for help pic.twitter.com/SUSWVIZPbw

— Dami’ Adenuga (@DAMIADENUGA) May 25, 2026

motionarena:
Is bowlegs hereditary?
My woman has bowed legs n plan on getting married soon

Want to know if there is a chance of my kids getting bowed as am not ready to deal with that.

Revealpanda:
I know absolutely nothing about cars and wanted to get my first car... I always loved 2013-15 Honda accord.... All my hope was on a friend who's been in car business for about 5 years now and knows his way around.

I went to where he is and we looked for a direct Belgium car, he did all the necessary test and assured me it was a good car... The person we were getting is from is also his business network of friends.

I made the whole payment without doing any test of my own because I know nothing.... We did drive test and everything and the car was okay.


On getting to my state I just decided to Google the Cars VIN number, I saw it online where it was in USA, turns out it seemed the car was used for Taxi in USA... While other than the headlight which was damaged in the VIN page it has no issue.


My concern now is the mileage... It has more than 200kmiles on it already... And via my small research such cars are bound to fail anytime.


I paid 13m for 2015 honda accord not to talk of transportation to my state which is 600-900km away from Lagos which te driver is saying he will take 700k to drive it to my state, not to talk of commission I paid my guy


My question now is was I scammed?

I've been depressed since last week

menaxe:
Something happened in my house this evening that’s been bothering me, and I’d like your honest advice.

My wife went out for a girls hangout. When she came back, she didn’t notice I was in the parking lot watching.

She called the gateman over, brought out her leg, and told him to remove her shoe. He took off the first canvas shoe, then the second. She didn’t notice I was there.

After he removed the shoes, she told him to take them to the cobbler for repair.

I just watched and didn’t say anything at the time. It looked to me like she was overusing the gateman, and it didn’t sit right with me.

Later, I called her aside and told her what she did was wrong but she said she didn’t know it was wrong and didn’t see the issue. I asked her what she meant by “it’s not wrong,” and she just repeated that she didn’t know.

Now I’m confused. I don’t know if I’m overreacting, overstepping, or making too much of it.

Nairalanders, please tell me honestly — is this wrong, or am I out of line here?

Thank you.

Naya261:
You spoke really well. Thanks for for your input.

Naya261:
My brother-in-law is a pastor with his own ministry. He’s been married to my younger sister for 14 years, but he’s a pathological liar who fabricates and exaggerates things effortlessly.

For example, if you eat at his house once or twice, he’ll claim he’s the reason you’re alive that without him, hunger would have killed you.

I stayed with them for 4 months in 2014 after youth service, learning a skill that should have taken 2 years. I left early because of his behavior and rented my own place by December 2014.

He now tells people he “rescued me from the village” when my father abandoned me, but I was 27 at the time, not a child that can be abandoned.

He claims the food I ate in his house for 4months (Aug–Dec 2014) was worth over ₦2 million. In reality, I ate once a day (dinner) because I left home at 7am and returned at 6pm except on Sundays, when I ate twice.

He says he no longer wants to be married to my sister, and my family has accepted his decision, but he’s slandering her: claiming she has sex video chats with men for money, has a boyfriend, and that she has even poisoned him once, causing him to pass out and come back to life, none of these allegations he can prove

My sister has been staying with me for over 3 months, but he's telling his church members that my sister is currently staying with another man.

Recently, he called my father asking for a meeting to reconcile, but I told my father the marriage must end. He keeps pleading for reconciliation.

I don’t know what he really wants from my sister.

budaatum:
I hope he sues the company for ethnic discrimination!

Sinkara:
Please help me
I can't seem to concentrate
I masturbate everyday
And if I get small money, I go to brothel, have sex with more than 3 girls and still go home and masturbate
I guess alcohol is my major problem because I tend to make these brothel decisions when I'm drunk
Working in the brewery doesn't help me, I have access to alcohol a lot
So I have made a decision going forward to avoid alcohol
If I do that, my brothel addiction will reduce a lot
But for masturbation, it's really hard to go 3 days without masturbating
I don't know how I can tackle that

CYBERWEAVER:
I am currently planning to get married. I’ve been with my babe for about a year now.

After several consultations, we agreed on a wedding budget of about 3 million Naira.

But I keep asking myself one very honest question: how do I commit that kind of money to someone who hasn’t really shown the same level of effort back, even in something as small as 5k, despite earning a little?


Asin, I never smell her 5k since we started dating.


At this point, it’s not even about the money anymore. It’s about intention, balance, and simple acts of kindness.

Even on my birthday, I didn’t receive a gift from her, and that stayed with me more than I expected.

I’ve never had to deliberately test her money, because genuine care and small acts of giving usually show themselves naturally over time.

To be clear, I’ve been carrying most of the financial weight in this relationship, and there’s hardly anything tangible she has ever done for herself without at least my 50% contribution since we met.

I don’t complain, but I also don’t want to ignore what I’m seeing.

As a responsible man, I’m trying to be honest with myself before I take a step I can’t easily undo.

So I want to ask people who are married or have real experience: if I go ahead and marry in a relationship where this is the current dynamic, what should I realistically expect in marriage?

I’m not trying to assume the worst, but I also believe experience speaks louder than hope.

sonssyo:
Water leaf kwa? This is oha for real

sonssyo:
I made this pot of soup onto Sapa level, make the bashing no plenty abeg,nah naija we dey like this.

The outcome be this...

Come and join me..

BlackViper:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15726823/Man-27-appears-court-charged-stabbing-film-student-Finbar-Sullivan-death-Primrose-Hill.html

Kimhomesales:
small or industrial one?

Kimhomesales:
Chair and table...60k
Cylinder...45k
Cway Water dispenser with fridge ...80k
Ignis 6kg automatic front loader washing machine....150k
Double door 512litres deep freezer 250k
Royal chiller..250k

Kosofe and ikoyi
08027350626

Mrslarissa98:
Hello everyone, I need your advice please.
I am half Nigerian. I am married and currently living in another African country with my husband and our two children. Our first child is 4 years old and the youngest is 9 months old.
I was born and raised in Nigeria to a Nigerian father. When I was 13 years old, my parents divorced. My mother took me, my younger brother, and my elder sister from her previous relationship back to her country. Since we left, I have not seen or spoken to my father. Unfortunately, my mother passed away two years later when I was only 15. Life was very difficult for us because my mother’s family treated us badly, but that is not really what I am looking for advice about, so I will keep the story short.
I got married 5 years ago, and 3 years ago my husband and I relocated to a different African country. We are both involved in business. I run a hair salon while also taking care of my duties as a wife and mother.
When I started my business, my daughter was already 2 years old and attending school, so it was easier to manage both my business and my responsibilities at home. But when I became pregnant with my son, I knew it would not be easy anymore because I would need someone to help take care of him while I worked. I stayed home for about 3 months after he was born, and when I was preparing to return to work, I asked my pastor’s wife to help me find someone to assist me. She had helped other people find help before, and she introduced us to a 19-year-old girl who came to live with us.
At first, everything was going well. She took very good care of my baby. My daughter’s school was close to my shop, so I was the one dropping her off and picking her up. We had planned that the following year we would move her to a school closer to the house so the girl could help with picking her up.
Let me also add that while I was on maternity leave, my husband used to come home around 1 p.m. to eat lunch. But when I returned to work, I asked him not to come home during the day anymore and to start taking food to work instead, which he did.
When my baby was about 5 months old, we left for work as usual. Around 10 a.m., my phone rang. It was my husband saying he was at the hospital with the maid and the baby. I panicked and asked what happened and if my baby was okay. He said the baby was fine, but the maid was the one who was not well.
He told me that he was at work, but he suddenly felt very uneasy, like something was telling him to go home and check on the baby. When he got home, he heard the baby crying inside the room where the maid shared with our daughter. At first, he ignored it, thinking maybe she was changing the baby. But the crying became worse, and he heard a loud bump. He called the maid’s name, but there was no response. When he entered the room, he found her lying on the floor naked, and the baby was next to her crying. He picked up the baby and called the neighbors, who helped cover her and put her in his car. One male neighbor followed them to help with the baby while they went to the hospital.
The girl was unconscious at first, but later she recovered. After she was discharged, I was wondering what could have happened. I asked her if she had any history of seizures or something similar, but she said no. She explained that she could not clearly remember what happened that day. She said that after putting the baby to sleep, she rushed to take a bath, and after coming out of the bathroom she could not remember anything else until she woke up in the hospital.
During the following days, I allowed her to rest as much as possible, and I started taking my baby with me to my shop. It was not easy, but I wanted her to recover.
One day, I came back home and found the house empty. She was nowhere to be found. I panicked and called her number, but it was switched off. I called our pastor’s wife, but she said she had not seen her. She was already aware of what had happened at the hospital. We were all worried and tried to reach her without success. Our pastor’s wife even sent someone to her aunt’s house to check if she was there, but she was not.
After a few days, we found out that she was staying with her elder sister in another town. We felt some relief knowing she was at least with family. We tried to contact her to ask why she left suddenly, but she would not pick up our calls.
Four months later, she came back to the church and informed our pastor that the reason she left my house was because, according to her, ever since she started living with us, my husband had been making advances toward her. She said she always refused him. She claimed that on the day of the incident, my husband came home and met her in the room while she was dressing, forced himself on her, beat her, and she passed out.
The pastor called us, and the girl repeated this in front of everyone. My husband could not deny it and started begging for forgiveness. I was completely shattered. Although the pastor and his wife counseled us and tried to reconcile us, and my husband has been begging for forgiveness, I am still heartbroken. I am no longer interested in this marriage. I feel anger and pain whenever I look at him.
Now I feel like taking my children and going back to my home country. I cry every day and feel very depressed. I really need advice, please help me.

Celebrityblog:
Alao-akala’s Properties In Nigeria, UK, US That Are Subject Of Family Dispute



Source

dibunotion:
Make FG no change the holiday oo

Edipet:
There is this lady I am interested in. She is just 22, and I assume that she does not really know much about marriage because of her age. I have been teaching her about marriage and sending her some reasonable videos about marriage. I have not openly proposed to her, but I have given her a reasonable green light. Is it proper for me to be teaching her about marriage?

capetownboyz:
I’m at a crossroads and I think at this point I wonder what is the point of marriage if this is how it works..
I was busy working to provide for my family ,only to get a long message from my woman stating she left with my child and not only that ,she left with few of my expensive household items , like tv ,speakers , fans and co ..
She held down to her words that for the two years she came into my life ,she was not happy emotionally,that during pregnancy I didn’t spend enough with her ,that I’m always in the sitting room and leaving her all to herself..

Sometimes I wonder what women really wants ..during her pregnancy ,she never worked nor stressed ,she was well taken care of ,ate to her fill ,never worked ,just sleep and take care of my unborn child’s ..My factor of not spending much time on her was due to the fact I was trying to understand the situation at hand and transitioning from living alone, handling things to my capacity to having a wife and incoming child to feed was a lots of task to be prepared for , so I needed a space from her sometimes not to think of the hasty decision I just put myself into ..

A year later and the child is one year plus ,responsibilities mounting and bills ,coupled with the facts I just got a quit notice to leave the apartment have stayed over 6 years at, I requested she let the child live my parents why we go out there to work and provide,also raise money for another place and Lagos rental price is off the roof ..But she was adamant and felt like I was trying to take the child from her and so I insisted she take the child to her parents and give me sometime to raise money for a new place .. she flared up and got angry and said she wouldn’t do that I should immediately rent a place and shop for her ,not minding the stress I’m going through ..

We have had verbal abuses between each other and few confrontations but never led to physical abuse .She said I was being influenced by my family to push her away , that they don’t like her and which is not true ..
I insisted she needs to learn a proper skill or go back to school or get a good job for the time being , but all she cares is me opening a business for her..I found myself looking at someone who depends solely on what a man provides for her and not trying to do something herself for the time being .. The pressure is much and I still have a child to take care of too ..She took my properties and ran away with my child and I was heart broken by such move ..

Now it’s open to both families the decision she took and my parents are angry saying I won’t settle for such a woman and her parents aren’t helping much except her father who calls her out for her wrongful actions ..

At this point I’m thinking of letting go of what we had together and just take care of my child and her wellbeing ,first by renting a place for her and taking care of her needs ..

We have both had a long conversation thinking what went wrong ,she said my lack of emotional presence and not spending enough time with her made her felt like she was single and I was telling her words and those words hurt her and that I’m being influenced by my family which is not true ..

I want to get back my properties and call off my ties with her cause we really started on a wrong note , we didn’t plan well and didn’t see things properly and what we have to offer ourselves individually as a couple rather than a one man game stressing himself out there, trying to do everything himself..Have made wrong choices and this not how I intended my family life to be like and I will make good corrections henceforth..

Ittakescourage:
I want to seize my children phone and stop them from communicating with their father.
Do you think it's the best decision? I initially allowed that communication so they don't feel his absence too much but he's saying wrong things to them behind me.


To be honest, it’s almost one year since my husband and I separated due to numerous issues.
And I thank God we are apart otherwise I would have been dead by now.
Since then, I have not been intimate with any other man. Not because I can’t or don’t feel tempted sometimes, but because I personally choose not to. I have never cheated.
We have two boys.
Lately, I discovered that he constantly calls them to question them about me and say hurtful things especially when I'm not around. Yesterday, he told my 12-year-old son that I’m having affairs with other men. that I’m cheating.
and was busy explaining it to him
That broke me.
My son didn’t even tell me. He just went to sit quietly watching TV until I asked him what was wrong. I overheard everything.
I work so hard to take care of my children alone. The bills are much, and everything rests on me. Nothing comes from his side.
When we separated, I moved back to my parents house. I'm still there. I've not been able to save enough for a decent accommodation till now, but God has been faithful.

I told him he is free to come for the children. I am not stopping him and he knows that.

But instead, he chooses to say hurtful things about me to my son.

Ittakescourage:
I want to seize my children phone and stop them from communicating with their father.
Do you think it's the best decision? I initially allowed that communication so they don't feel his absence too much but he's saying wrong things to them behind me.


To be honest, it’s almost one year since my husband and I separated due to numerous issues.
And I thank God we are apart otherwise I would have been dead by now.
Since then, I have not been intimate with any other man. Not because I can’t or don’t feel tempted sometimes, but because I personally choose not to. I have never cheated.
We have two boys.
Lately, I discovered that he constantly calls them to question them about me and say hurtful things especially when I'm not around. Yesterday, he told my 12-year-old son that I’m having affairs with other men. that I’m cheating.
and was busy explaining it to him
That broke me.
My son didn’t even tell me. He just went to sit quietly watching TV until I asked him what was wrong. I overheard everything.
I work so hard to take care of my children alone. The bills are much, and everything rests on me. Nothing comes from his side.
When we separated, I moved back to my parents house. I'm still there. I've not been able to save enough for a decent accommodation till now, but God has been faithful.

I told him he is free to come for the children. I am not stopping him and he knows that.

But instead, he chooses to say hurtful things about me to my son.

Malagans:
I'm lost.
I don't even know my bearing. No direction.
Hardship. Hunger. Lack. No guide, no shepherd

iamSamurai:
I am a devout Catholic. My partner (Yoruba) knows this from day one. We had known each other for 3 years prior to dating. From the first week we started talking, I mentioned to her that I would be having a Catholic wedding. Last year I was in Vatican as part of my holiday.

We started dating earlier this year and she has been pushing marriage conversations. She is now saying our doctrines are different and she would want a Redeem wedding. That she would want me to convert to Redeem and hope I see the light( this phrase annoys me).

I told her that our family will be a Catholic first family that I don’t have a problem with her going to her church. But she is saying she would want to be taking children to her church and that her church’s doctrine are way different from Catholic and won’t want that kind of confusion.

On the wedding stuff, she later said she had a conversation with her aunt, and she suggested that we first have a Redeem wedding and afterwards we can then have a Catholic wedding with a few friends and family. She even jokingly said that we would take a year break before the white wedding (after traditional and court wedding ) and during that time if she gets pregnant she will use that to get me to wed her in her Church.

Furthermore, she says her marrying an Igbo is already a lot that she is not sure her parents will agree for her not to wed in Redeem.

My annoyance is that she knew about my church from day one. We had discussed about these kind of things several times before we started dating. So why the goal-post shifting now?

Malagans:
Yet can't support their own back home.


Everything about life irritates me right now.

I don't understand what's happening to my life. I'm struggling badly. I'm depressed

frozen70:
Why doing test that you can't interpret and even will not be acceptable by any hospital

Go to a hospital and explain yourself to a Medical Doctor, he will subject you to medical test that suits your complain and read the result to you

I think you are just wasting your time and money

Daphilly:
Have not heard of brain attack. Should I do a ct scan?

Babysho:
I've been having sleepless nights for over a year now. Back and forth with doctors and sleeping meds.

I'd sleep around 10 or 11pm and be up 2am or 3am, wide awake like I wasn't just sleeping, unable to sleep back. I noticed recently that my heart rate would be high when I wake.

I'm this close to quitting my job because of insomia.

I've tried hundreds of remedies, chamomile tea, all sorts of sleep inducing fruits, sleeping medications, yoga, warm bath, nothing works.

Help.