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As a first daughter, I realise that you have to be a very strong woman to normalise your family
You have to be brave and bold to make corrections no matter who is at fault
You have to be blunt and upright to prove to everyone that your eyes are on them so that the image of the family will not be dented
You have to be very accommodating because they will always wants to be around you and you have to provide if you have the means
I assisted in training some of my siblings and I still trained myself in school so that no one will call me an illiterate simply because I defy my admission to assist in training them
You must be ready to shoulder responsibilities both in your father's home and marriage home
Even your parents looks up to you because you have proved to them that you can
And the worst off all is that, there could be male child or children before your birth but men don't have the natural capacity to perform such task and what you need is there support else they will think you are flexing muscles with them
Meldrick: 62 years old Francis moved to the UK with his wife after 28 years of marriage. In a year of his stay in UK, his wife has kicked him out and he is crying for help. Holeless and stranded.
BlueStripper: I know emotions are high but this is not the best time for anyone to speak. Non Arewa's will never know the pain our people are going through. We are being persecuted in and outside our lands.
Hausa's are not Fulani's. We are peaceful and learned people.
We love to share.
We deserve to be loved.
All we have done is live peacefully and open our arms to receive everyone, including the Fulani's. But what did we get in return?
In as much as I condemn the killing, let's wait and see government decisions on it
But my question is, there are more land mass and forest in the North, why coming down to the south to hunt, I don't intend to provoke anyone but am wondering why moving down there to form hunting association.
What is the value of their hunting and how does it benefit that state
Is hunting also a high profile occupation that adds to the economy of that state
I have a girlfriend who's been with me for 2 years, she's a very good girl, respects me to the core, she is beautiful and has no faults, she loves me so much and has also suffered with me even when there was no money and we've been through it all, she's every man's dream and a complete wife material in terms of character and also a great chef.
Problem is I am not sexually attracted to her, I can be in same room with her for a week and not touch her, even when she's totally naked running around the house.
I'm only attracted to light skin girls with big ass but she's chocolate and average ass, I don't want a sexually boring marriage.
She's good in bed and knows how to make love, but I just don't feel sexually attracted to her, is it because we've been having sex for 2 years? am I tired of her? I don't even know, she has never insulted me, she supports me and we hardly have disputes.
Married men in the house should I go ahead and marry her? Can lack of sexual attraction to your spouse be a big problem?
I don't want to break up with a good woman just because of sex.
She loves me so much and I know breaking up with her will hurt her so much, I know how much she cries anytime we have issues, most times over minor issues. I love her too. But this sexual attraction thing is a problem.
She no de hungry me to fvck at all. How person wan take marry woman wey no de hungry am to fvck.
Is it see finish? Will I get sexually attracted to her if we give each other space? Or is it because she's not my spec physically? But I love her so much and I'm just confused.
I don't even know if it's love, because she has no one, I'm her everything, her family is poor and I always feel pity for her whenever I want to break up.
Of recent we had issues and she went to discuss it with her ex and that made me so angry. I don't tolerate women that still keep in touch with their ex and I considered breaking up but she cried so much and was apologising, she even fell sick and was begging.
I have a soft spot for her because I know she doesn't have anything or anyone, I'm the person that supports her financially and everything, so whenever I want to break up, I think about those things and I feel so much pity for her like if I chase her away where will she go? and this is a girl that has been there for me few times when I was low.
I'm just confused.
You are about loosing a treasure if you want to look at sex attraction.
All you want in a woman she has it except being attracted to sex
What a man wants in a woman is a woman that will be humble to him and respect him
I think you should go ahead and have a peaceful home with her
If sex is your problem, get the one that you are attracted to and keep her outside and still come home to thr one that respects you
When you are tired of the ones outside, you face back home
If you drop her, nature luck will give her a man that will not be willing to loose her for any reason
Jiblocrestive: Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your advise
My wife keep disgracing and embarrassing me every time even though I gave her 5k daily to cook and take care of our little baby
Sometimes, she took money from wallet and denied whenever I ask her but I always let go.
This morning, after she came back buying foodstuff to cook she went outside to buy some stuffs outside only too hear that she stole biscuits and sweets without paying. Someone that I gave 10k for foodstuff stealing biscuits I was so shocked and speechless but this not the first time cos I always thought she would change after pleading and begging. But now I no choice to call her parents and tell them cos am fed up. Am always an easy going person in the neighborhood now I can't walk freely without pointing finger at me
Pls I need your advice
Report her to her parents and in her presence let her explain why she is doing so
Also find out if truly he has been doing so before you married her
Then the next thing is to ask her the way out of the stealing attitude
iamjack0812: If no be sey no one knows how death go take meet am sef coz I dey imagine how a woman go overshadow a whole grown up man to the point of death like I don't understand e fit be injury o but not to die and is not as if he is not aware like maybe him dey sleep. I see angry wife run enter kitchen to get something and still come back to shook me with a whole knife and I still dey stand and look at her till I die....is.it.not funny my people?
Not as you think, even the devil plays a bigger role of confusions at that moment. The wife did a terrible thing that the man was not expecting it
Remember he saw it coming and tried to run away but slipped off and the evil wife was already ahead with her plans
Olanrewaju was competing against Ghanaian boxer Jon Mbanugu at Fight Night 15 of the Ghana Professional Boxing League at Bukom Boxing Arena when he suddenly lost consciousness.
Rest on peace, I really hate boxing that someone won even blow you to death
Another ruthless game is wrestling some will beat you to death
BlueStripper: Before you crucify the Chinese man, let ask the right questions.
Who is the security detail?
Where is esprit de corp?
What is the punishment for such an offence on the officer who carried out the order?
How did the Chinese get an approved security detail?
Who assigned the security detail to the Chinese and why?
He is not the first foreigner to be assigned a security details
Your question should be, why did the police officer shoot the immigration office so far the immigration officer was not armed, yes he msy be arrogant but shooting was never necessary as he was not with any arms
aswani: The interesting thing about their systems is they don't even have to continue putting any effort into looking for you.
All they do, as you said, is put your name in their system and carry on investigating other issues.
As soon as your do anything, like this idiot did applying for a visa, the system itself raises an alert to notify them.
Some advanced systems now use imagery databases that civil rights soceity over there are fighting tooth and nail to stop going live.
If you commit a crime and run away, they just enter your image into their system. Once you go past any of the network of CCTV's the various strata of governments in the US manage, it flashes an alert and starts following you without their investigators raising a finger.
They can then come and pick you up at their own leisure.
The odds of getting away with crime in this day and age is reducing as governments embrace IT.
Raphes1010: none of my family cares about us since 2022 that their mom passed away even their mom family member doesn't care since I did her burial they've never called to even ask how we're doing so yes I'm willing to sign any documents as long as the kids will have a better life and not suffer and I know it's for a life time once they get to meet their new family
Raphes1010: Life is really hard for me and I really want to give my 2 kids the best of life a boy 6 and a girl 14 please I need help and don't want to make mistakes I'm a single father their mom is late since 2022
Are you willing to adopt them out and signed thr dotted line not to see them forever
Or you think someone will collect them from you and train them for you just like that
Anyway, if you are in good terms with your wife family, plead with them to collect those children from you as you can't afford to keep them
If they accept them from you, don't go and rush to pregnant another woman. Plan for your life and their life too before you settle down, if not you may fall into the worst of them all
Wizardslayer: America can never forget and forgive.
Because they have records and a strong data base where once they put your name for crime their, it covers all over the world and if you are on the run, you will be cut in another country, the other country will notify them and they will be glad to come and pick you up
VaibhavMalhotra: My brother-in-law stays with us. My wife is in her third trimester. We are very happy. But my brother-in-law gives unnecessary stress to my wife; he even knows that stress is not good for her pregnancy. I tried my best to keep him away from her. But he somehow manages to give her stress. I am tired of him. I even talked to him regarding this, and he said he didn't do anything. What should I do about him?
You can ask him to leave your house, give him the transport money he will need to go meet his parents
Your wife safety during this her pregnancy journey and after birth stress should be your concern
If anything happens, your brother inlaw has nothing to loose
Primafacie: I never knew I would fall a victim of this nonsense in my life. While growing up, I used to watch on Nollywood movies about the devastating effects of this Blood oaths on the parties involved. How did I get myself involved in this mess? It all started three years ago. I was serving in IITA at Ibadan, Oyo state. I traveled from Ibadan to my state in Enugu, got myself involved in Political campaigns for the candidates I supported. It was in the course of these campaigns that I met this lady(23yrs). I saw her and liked her instantly, though lustfully, while she also fell in love with me. I would say it was a deceitful love she had for me. Same day we met, during introduction, she claimed she was a 200level student of Uni-Cal, and that she was home(Enugu) due to an internal ASUU strike. I don't know if she said this because she felt low that I was a graduate and a serving corps Memeber while she had just just completed her NCE. It was after a week of our first meeting that I discovered this lie. On my first visit to her house, I was well welcomed by her parents. And in the process of our conversation, her dad disclosed that her daughter(my babe) had just rounded off her NCE programme. I was shocked, but I never mentioned it afterwards cos I wasn't too bothered about her academic qualifications since she appeared intelligent and communicated so well. But why did she lie? She pleaded that I don't break her heart & I assured I was never going to. She went further to suggest we make a blood covenant, she went and bought a new Tiger Razor blade and we took the blood oath and promised we were "never going to part ways till eternity". We licked each other's blood after cutting our thumbs and making this declaration. After our first sex in a hotel, I noticed how wide her Puna was. It was very wide and I asked why a 23yr old lady would have such a wide puna. But I didn't tell her my observations. I only asked her to tell me about her past life as regards relationship and romance, she said she had done about three abortions while dating her immediate ex. I now confirmed why her Puna was wide. I believe that for her to have admitted and conceded that she had three abortions for a single guy, it meant she would have done more than three for many other guys. Ladies lie a lot. I noticed she had lots of exes. Our parents got to know about our relationship and where it was headed. The father is well-to-do. The mum too. She's the first child of her family. The family loved me like their own biological son. They showed support and advised that she shouldn't date for too long before we settle down. The father encouraged me to not be discouraged by little beginnings and that the future is always bright for hardworking young people. He went further to show me the thatched house he lived in when he married his wife(my babe's mum), but today he owns houses and cars everywhere. On my own part, I am without a father. I'm from a poor background. But all that wasn't necessary according to the parents. My girl is a highly materialistic girl. According to her, she had initially thought I was rich the day she met me, considering my looks. But overtime she noticed i am a broke guy. When she found out, she started misbehaving. He insulted me. I had to leave her. When the parents called, I told them I was done with their daughter and wouldn't be able to stand a nagging woman who gets easily angry and susceptible to insults. My babe asked me to go and Hussle after NYSC then come back to get her when I make it big. She said she can't date me out of pity. This was the last straw that broke the Carmel's back. I felt useless to myself for two weeks. Aside having parents who are richer than me, she has nothing else. People even said I was too handsome to date a girl like her. But to me, all that didn't matter. Since I parted ways with her, I've not seen her but she keeps messaging me on Facebook wanting to see me since we both live in an entirely new city. I've being refusing to see her. She is always making financial demands on me, but I've vowed to not help her. Before now I had begged her for us to go undo the blood oath by confessing to our parents so they can find a traditional means of breaking it but she called me a fool and hanged up. She did this severally. After this, I've not had sex or entered into any relationship cos I'm scared. She too hasn't married but I'm sure she's dating lots of guys and f**cking. I take all the blame because I didn't take my time to know her much before entering into that senseless relationship that was about leading to marriage. Since she was the first to call the shot, the oath is on her.
Pls guys, suggest ways I can break this blood covenant. Thanks.
NB: Pls don't move this post to Romance section, else I won't be able to reply those I need to reply to. I'm not eligible to post on romance section. I hope you understand. Please don't. pls expeditiously move this to frontpage but don't move it to romance section pls 🙏
Cc: nlfpmod, Mynd44, Dominique, lalasticlala
Well all I can say is that, you hastly took a decision out of no good reasons
Forgiveness comes from God and only God can reposition things as we want it
So for now go to God in prayers, confess your sins to God and ask for his forgiveness and mercies. Keep praying till you are convinced within you that you have been forgiven and after that, stay away from anything that will make you promise what you cannot fulfil
As for the lady, excommunicate her and even when she calls, don't pick her calls and don't respond to her messages.
When she is tired she will stop calling you. Meanwhile, make sure that no one that knows you or your whereabouts can give her details of you
Whenever you pick her calls by error and she reminds you of the oath, tell her that you have long repented and now serving God, simple
"My name is Brenda, I met the father of my child 3 years ago in the UK. We are both from Ghana but different tribes. I was a bit reluctant when he asked me out for a relationship based on the difference in tribe.
He was always particular about sex whenever he visited and it used to piss me off, I eventually gave in one time and didn't realize it would lead to pregnancy. He left even before I found out about it to be with a woman who is ready to give him sex according to him.
He suggested abortion after I told him about it but I declined because it wasn't something I could go ahead with. Long story short, I got my Canadian visitor visa and told him I'll like to have the baby there which we both agreed to.
I had my baby in Canada and had to move to Ghana to get extra help with the baby since he has repeatedly told me he isn't interested in getting married to me, our child is 18 months now and his parents have not called me or my parents to acknowledge the child. He said there's nothing he can do because he has given his parents my mum's number, it's up to them to reach out or not. The only thing he does is that he sends money for the child's upkeep.
Luckily I got my Canadian Permanent residence visa and plan to relocate soon, I've been encouraging him to move to Canada with me so we can raise our child together, but he will say he cannot, why do I need to marry him to bring him to Canada when we already have a child together. The marriage is a trap etc
He got involved with a British woman who later reported him to police for kidnapping, it was around this time one of his brothers reached out to me for the first time.
I think this affected the outcome of his post study visa as he was denied and asked to leave, now he is saying God has answered my prayer of us being together to raise our baby. I am still in Ghana and he wants to come do the proper thing
Will I be wicked to say I don't want marriage with him anymore? There's no friendship between us, no romantic vibes, he talks harshly to me when angry. What kind of marriage am I going to have with him when I know we aren't compatible. Yet, he will either have to become illegal or be comdemed to Ghana if I tell him no.
I've always known about the incompatibility, I just sometimes think about the few good things he did and the fear of having kids for more than one man"
This is a clear picture of loveless relationship
He doesn't love you as you may not be his choice of woman
Only circumstances will make him propose to you, get married to you and will definitely break your heart when he gets his choice of woman
You on your own part, you don't even love him, you wanted marriage for your child not that the love is there
I think you should live your life and nurture your child till you get a man that will be willing to ask for your hand in marriage and even your heart will that you for it
But if you think being a single mother is about bringing shame and worries on you Then go ahead, but don't come here to complain about his womanising attitude after you bring him to Canada
Magnificenttop: Alright but one question is, why do things like this always become a problem with present generation of women? There have always been women, our great grandmothers and mothers are women too but things only get weird when it reaches the turn of so called gen z. Thank God women have been existing before the so called d.umb generation z. Not like there might not be cravings but the way so called Gen Z takes everything to the extreme is the issue. Seems there are lots of things fundamentally wrong with present generation of women.
Davidnilla: Thats what am considering. Just that shes been in the perfect relationship, guy treats her well. Yet when i say, come over, she comes over that day. Same with her other male friends.
But thanks for the input, i hope for the best
I believe the pregnancy will calm her down and she will be ready to settle down
You can also let her know that it's a tabboo in your family for a man to be married to a woman and the woman will never sleep with another man
Benbroz: As an adult male you dont have a good paying job or flourishing business, you struggle to eat three square meals everyday or you are still leaving with mummy and daddy that feed you then you are thinking of having a girlfriend or wife, I'm very certain you are not okay.
Do you agree?
In this country and this life we do to normally wait for the right time
If you are set for marriage and you don't have the resources to take care of your family
Work harder and cooperate with her, women supports when you don't give them problems
Please I need advice on this, or more like suggestion
There's this girl I got pregnant, a childhood friend and we've been close for over 9 years. We always spend together
It was like friends with benefits but with strong bond. Based on old time friendship
Don't get me wrong on this, we've been friends for long to the extent that she tells me stories of her past and current relationship life.
She fit come visit me, post am, her boyfriend go ask her why, she go swear say she didn't do anything with me, but me deep down i know say we do something.
She fit dey with me make her boyfriend call her, she go swear say she dey house.
I've watched her date guys, visit male friends, get banged and so. Just as friends oo
She doesn't double date, but she gives access to just her male friends. Like, a girl go get serious relationship, but she still gets banged by just her friends.
My point is, (I'm not judging her tho), now she's pregnant for me, should I go ahead and settle with a girl with this kind of history? Cause As I do my follow my man, is there any guarantee she no go do same to me with other men? I carry two heads?
Yes I know it's wrong to bang another man's girl and expect not to experience same when I finally date her. Just that, I no dey even know when she dey relationship or not, she fit dey for January, make February she go begin cry say person break her heart.
Or do women change when they get pregnant for a guy?
Since the pregnancy she's been trying to make US A THING. like trying get me into a romantic relationship finally
I do have access to all her social handles as we were friends for over 9 years now, but since this past month on pregnancy stuff, she's been deleting some chats make I no see am, she's been trying to prove to me that she's a saint
Pls I need experienced advice on this, should I just support her till she gives birth? Which I'm scared I might get attached or feelings for her and will be difficult to let her go
(I've also confirmed the baby is mine)
Every thing in this life is try your luck
So try your luck and teach her how to be faithful
If ut works for you, fine and if it doesn't works for you
Telltruth123: I have used my salary to pay debt, no foodstuffs no savings, is this how I will continue living my life? Despite my struggle to make life better for myself and people around me, I am not making progress.
You used your salary to pay debt
What kind of debt are you taking about
What do you mean by people around you, that means you have not found your bearing and you already have people around you to cater for
MOG6670: Hello nairafam Pls I need your advice.....
This writeup is sections one and two .
👉long read 👈 ( SECTION ONE: parental bullying/standing as an obstacle towards child personal growth and development)
I'm a guy of 25yr from and average family of 10 Members which I'm the first born. My parents are religion leaders (pastor) which made it difficult for us to to effectively socialise, build network and have a healthy self image due to high level of emotional and verbal bullying which they termed as discipline and protection ( must pastor lads can relate to this).
I decided to further my education when I graduated ( national diploma) in 2022 but my parents refused to cooperate which in they words "NOT EVERY CHILD GOT THE OPPORTUNITY I HAD, SO I SHOULD BE THANKING GOD"
Mind you we the children are the major source of income because we are originally farmers. We, the children are the one who sacrificed our our blood, sweat strength and enjoyment to makes sure that we have enough as a family ( especially me the first born) but Alas the thing has turned against us because our parents always bully ( financially bullying)us whenever we refuse to coperates with they selfish goals. ( Many things to say, but that's for another day)
That's makes me to made a harsh and hard decision in 2023, that's to break free from them even though I had no any tangible things to my name to fall back on incase of.......( because all our harvest are sold and invested in our father name, and he will never coperates or give you cash to invest it personally or build yourself as individual)
I break out with only 50k in 2023 and today 2025 my total investment and asset is 2.5 million Naira and still growing... ( My financial projection and goals this year is to worth 10+ million Naira, and thank God it's working)[/color]
Section Two ::::
Section two is about my love life. I had fallen in love last year with a very beautiful, natural & sincere lady, who her good character is top-notch, wife material. This lady is 23 and I'm 25.
In the course of discussion last Month, she stylishly told me that she wanted ( if God permits) to be married at least by 2027.
And to be sincere, I wanted to wife her but one of the issue is that she didn't attend any forms of traditional education (school) but she is intellectual wise, resourcesfullness and industrious.
So I need your sincere in put in both section 1&2 because it'll help me to make a good decision.
Summary:: From part one ----------------------- -Those of you who hard and experienced these kind of parents, how did you navigate through? -Is your relationship with them now good or strained? -Did you regret your action or not?
From part two: _______________ -What is your experience/ or take on marrying uneducated but exposed wife? -Did she later learnt how to read and right? -If the need arise, what are the ways and forms did I need in other to teach her how to read and write
Your part one decision was the right step taken and you did well
For part two, since she wasn't educated but civil, I think she has to enrol for classes in art subjects so that she can register for waec and NECO, I choose waec and NECO because the marking scheme is easier than GCE exams
So find a private secondary school and register her for the next session of exams
Once she has decided to get married at 27yrs she can get her papers, then you register her for Jamb and she will go for Jamb classes and get admission in university then marry her and she will continue to bear your name from waec to university and still carry your pregnancy
You are educating her for the sake of your children whom she has to be with all the time
Family › Re: Hello Ladies Are You A Firstborn Daughter? Do You Often Find Yourself Taking O by frozen70(f): 3:54am On Apr 06, 2025
