₦airaland Forum

Ghen ghen....

This one wey Wike dey blast every blastable wet in happen...

Is he the Mole he's been talking about?

I wonder how one would spend so much to get elected and not recoup his investment by embezzling.

"Demon-Destroyer" …..

See him face like election wey dem never fit conclude.

Useless man. No wonder e no gree see woman.

Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... Lazyreporta

Wonderfully done...

Applause..

olamariamjonez:
Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho has hit back at Paul Scholes after the amazing midfielder asserted he was "humiliating" the club.

Joined turned out another urgently critical execution with a goalless attract their Champions League conflict with Valencia on Tuesday evening with numerous fans booing at full-time.

Scholes said he was "astonished" that Mourinho was still in the Old Trafford tough position and said he was "humiliating" the popular club.

"I'm quite astonished he made due after Saturday, the execution was so awful," he disclosed to BT Sport.

"He's turning out in public interviews continually having a go at players, having at go at individuals above him since he's not getting what he needs.

"I thoroughly consider his mouth is of control and I believe he's humiliating the club."

In any case, Mourinho has hit back at Scholes, recommending that he isn't occupied with his feeling - and just perspectives of fans ought to be regarded.

Source: https://hi247.com.ng/jose-mourinho-fires-back-at-paul-scholes/03/10/2018/

Na which version of English be dis one oga?

Won't be a biggie to me..will stand it wella..

Hizzy:
I de come mafoluku some times ee get this guy wa de live there he de.nack beat for me JUST CHI but ee don chop my money finish sotee I no come de see money chop food

Lol..no worry one of your beat go done soon..

Xda59:
Broken brick not poop.

Ooow okay thanks...

Sad way to die...may her soul R.I.p

I've been noticing the stuff on her navel area, is that poo left on her body or what?

Poor girl..

Hizzy:
my guy I'm repping Oshodi too
any thing for your boy mr chairman

Lol...mafoluku straight up...

chloride6:
Taking over your 2 plots if land at Oshodi I guess

Lol...

Awol1:
The implosion seems not to be coming bro

Hahahahha...we go change am to explosion be that...

Dareal90s:
You wanna stay relevant? Only a kid with blockhead like u will continue a trash discussion with u, go and swim in ur gully area. Leave d Yoruba's alone. We ain't mate, find ur mate on nairaland, am a busy person coz am not lazy. Lazy IPOB pigglet.

Hahahahaha...

Goat dey form busy...na dictionary you from copy that English?

Everybody that's got a contrary view to yours is instantly an Igbo envious of you..ode buruku..

Eyyaaa....

Dear Professor Johnbull,

Always remember not to forget that, the downfall of a man is not the end of his life.

Dareal90s:
Total senseless comment, scroll up nd check what I've written so far, omo Igbo.

I knew that was the next bile you were going to spew from your knuckle headed mouth...

Mumu wey no fit think for himself...olodo

Who be NWC?

A precedence has been set already make dem go siddon. No level

Make the implosion quick happen sef...

Dareal90s:
Go put him there, do u even have ur PVC? Murainor

Hahaha monkey...i been think say sperm don block your brain...idiot

Always defending the indefendable for people wey no even know whether your miserable life dey exist...

Dareal90s:
Are you in any way better, see your composition.

Dem don come....

MC na my hood guy...he is taking over after Sanwolu take it or leave it...

Stay here dey type rubbish...when the time comes you'll still be here defending and campaigning for him...mugu

Lol...

The case is visa visa truly....

Oyibo make una stop all these una inventions abeg...Instagram, twitter...

Bros for just write Yoruba most of us for still fit code am...

Haba...if person open mouth speak this kind English the way this guy take write am for Sambisa forest ehn...

Boko Haram go talk say dem no fight again walahi...na one time surrendering..

The guy try foe him loyalty sha..e no easy

Tinubu fit still prop this guy up tomorrow and the malus wey full nairaland here wey forget their head for him nyansh go still come dey insult people anyhow...

This is what i call...i never find the word...

MC Oluomo for governor after Sanwolu...na me go personally head him campaign after all na my hood guy...we repping Oshodi...

Wow...

And the topic was misleading...mtchew

Hmmm...

Na so so gallant general I dey read...

Too much gallant and gallantry...

His wife should be confirming or not if he had or travelled with any escorts.

Nice one...

So,their police don't go about with a Kalash like our men so here?

They should have blown out and spilled her grey matter...foolish woman.

Tinubu indeed did well for Lagos having taken up the reins of leadership in 1999 when the country had just survived the brutal years of the Military.

Of the set of 1999 governors, i'd rate him (Tinubu), Ibori and Donald Duke as the ones who had their heads right on their shoulders and took on governing with a well defined plan. (Debatable though). And you know what these men had in common? I think Tinubu and Ibori were men who had hustled on the streets outside of Nigeria, so they could easily replicate one or two good things they had seen while there. They could have done more bar corruption no doubt, but in their ranks were some others with the same pedigree who chose to be 100% evil.

The current blue-print Lagos is presently being run in is to an extent the brainchild of Tinubu and we can all attest to how exemplary these developmental strides are.

I certainly do have a problem with his total stranglehold on the state and its politics but I'm not going to why away from giving him kudos where it is due.

He is a political collosus and gargantuan who found willing followers that have refused to challenge the status quo and are okay with his Lordship, so they should live with it.

Na wa for waya road, Benin City...

R.I.p to the deceased and may God forgive the murderer.

nikkypearl:
orisirisi something

Oga u don chop ?

Noo...i wan chop...oya give me chop

What was her initial job before now?

Is this some kinda attempt at word play or what?

This is the pond of no return.

Another wonder of the world discovered in Nigeria.

Enjoy my siggy

This is obviously fake.

Bello is so busy doing nothing, he doesn't even know what's happening in his Lokoja. How do you expect him to know what has been happening in Lagos.

I don't believe this story.

Una wan spoil yeye bello good name..

When are they swearing him in on AIT, I wan watch am to hail my new Presido...

If Saraki is the right man to get us out of our economic and national doldrums, may he win.

My only fear is having to endure another 4 years with someone like Dino holding a critical position in his government. In fact the comedy will be so real.

Imagine Dino as SGF, minister of information or better still Minister of Finance.

Na to pack kaya begin go where man come from be dat o.

jidxin:
exactly my tot.... Pending investigations his words should be held wit a pinch of salt

Mad people sabi claim things and yarn opata well well...