₦airaland Forum

Equip yourself with a Video pen (www.mycompuflash.com), then send the evidence to your HOD.

Too sad such idiots get away with it due to lack of proof.

@ Poster

If you have something, you let it go, if it comes back to you, it was yours in the first place, if it does'nt, it was never yours.

Pure Love is eternal, irrespective of hurt or pain, dont let the hurt of the past blind the eyes of your heart.
Go ahead and date her, honestly talk about the past and then never bring it up again, discover if the sparkle is still there, as i said, if it was pure love you had in the first place, you sure would still have feelings for her, otherwise you only got over an infactuation not love.

Good luck

@poster

The only problem i see hear is that you are greedy, you need to date one person exclusively without the need to compare, that way you can be objective about your decision and it is also a sign of maturity, respect so that you can be respected.

This suggestion is want of a better word stupid. You cannot buy your way out of a dire situation such as this. What rather I would advocate is that unemployed folks gather together to form a strong body that will, by peaceful means, on appointed days of the month march on the capital city. That is the only way change will come. The government policies are not encouraging investors to come and set up shop in Nigeria, those in Nigeria, apart from the oil, telcos and motor industry are abandoning us for our neighbours. Our infrastructure is non existent (in comparison to 3rd world nations as ourselves). No direct government program/policies or sponsorship to encourage small business which are the main stay of any economy. Implementing such 'hand out' or 'bail out'  program would only make Nigeria a laughing stock, encourage further corruption, deception and rubber stamp laziness.

If you have been unemployed 10 years after your graduation, then the issue is you and not the government, check yourself out, check your association, drop the title, and get your hands dirty. This is one thing if nothing at all that going to a foreign country has thought most Nigerians. It is not your degree, but your determination.

@poster

Firstly, I congratulate you on your succesful surgery and pray that by his special grace you continue to be of sound health and mind, that this marks the watershed of sadness in your life. I also commiserate with you on your job situation, If i wake up in your position, here are the steps I would explore;

1) Arrange to meet with HR to discuss your situation
2) Arrange to meet with your Line Manager also.
3) Simutaneously actively seek employment elsewhere
4) Seek advice from a Law firm (hopefully pro bono)- Inquire if there is malpractice in the banks conduct and if you have a case.
4) Once gainfully employed elsewhere, write to the bank stating that if answers are not forthcoming regards your employment with them (within a specified period) you would have no alternative but to hand over the matter to  your Lawyers, stating the practice name.  
5) Now fold your arms and wait.
6) If no response, then proceed with lawsuit (try get pro bono lawyers who will make money off your settlement)  
7) If you do get response (favourable), then you have a choice of either going back to the bank or staying at your current position if that is preferable.

What I would rather hate is that you move on and do nothing, effectively saying to the bank that it is ok to do the same to the next man and the next man and the next man. It is by challenging situations like this that a country develops.


Above all I wish you wise and God counsel.

@ poster

I will be frank with you, you had all the classic signs but refused to budge, dont come running demanding advise when you knew all along he was never yours in the first place. There is no other way of putting this, your acted as a doormat and he walked all over you. How on earth did you expect him who did not think you worthy of knowing his past take you seriously. Girl you are not at a crossroad, you are at the bustop, get off and move on. I suggest you immerse yourself in qualitative education, better yourself, occupy your mind by studying constructive english et al, then maybe, just maybe years after he may wonder how he let a gem go.

Good Luck.

@Goin crazy

Wake up and smell the coffee. This issue is not about your wife not wanting more children, it's simple really, she does not want the union anymore. Any other thing said is just a smokescreen. I sense you as a descent outstanding human being who probably would take a gun for his wife, but the key is you and your 'runaway' wife have not been communicating, I can assure that if you asked her why she left, she would point to the fact that you do not listen (which has escalated to other issues). You have to understand that men and women are wired differently, Women need someone who listens to them not talk down to them, I bet if you had listened, you guys could have sustained the marriage. I devote half an hour a day to my wife where all i want to do is listen to her talk, no TV, no kids, just her and me talk over a couple of drinks, believe me it is refreshing and enlightening at how much you learn about each other.

I suggest you try to win her back, the process should be exactly as if you just met someone you fancy. Send her letters (DHL), chocolates, flowers, shoe, bag including jewelry- just do what you can afford, forget that she is your estranged wife, assume this is someone new you desperately want to date. Then progress to hanging out where all you want to do is LISTEN. Dont impose, dont insist, just listen and work out a compromise. Above all, ignore external influences and listen to your heart. Good Luck

Is it just me? Dang, does it profit us to always categorize each other. WHY!!!!! An artist is an artist, I cannot be bothered if an artist is igbo, yoruba, efik, hause etc by origin and then sing in swahili, latin or french. I would appreciate the artist if I feel his/her music. Lets move on from this trabilistic tendencies and embrace each other as citizens of one Nigeria.

There is this guy I know called Jesus, he has done it for me and I can assure you of his services, contact him on his phone number: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

My friend if this was possible, you will not tell a soul. If you want to solicit people for business, the least you can do is be dead honest about realism and not paint a far fetched picture that will do nothing but scare prospects away. Now you see why no one has contacted you. Good luck.

@poster

Its all psycology.
The fact that he says he wants to leave is a tactic that immediately puts you on the defensive. I remember a few years ago a friend of mine was caught cheating by his wife and he used the exact same tactic. He came home apologizing, saying , since he had been caught, she deserved better, he would have to leave, she in turn started to beg him no to go, that she was willing to work at the marriage. This now is a standing joke which we constantly reminisce over when we hang out. This guy has you where he wants you. If you love someone, you do not hurt them, period. Thats my belief and no phantom or silly reason anybody comes up with can change that. I am human and I have urges and desires which I candidly would tell my wife, so we do take joint action to rectify the situation rather than hide and jump at every opportunity a girl throws at me. I love my wife too much to want to make her sad or hurt, its enough of the excuses, real men dont do stupid.

Its appears to me that your man has you wrapped around his finger, he knows you can't leave him, and dont be fooled thinking this is the only time he has been unfaithful, just accept that this is the one that got blown over cause of the STD he infected you. At the end of the day, no one on any forum can really advise you. The situation is your cross to bare, you know him, is he in your life for you or is he in your life for himself? If for you, then maybe it really is an aberration otherwise do the right thing.

simple- it means run 440.

Dont tell her, she will get the message when she realises you dont eat her food, na so so take-out  or mama-put.

On a serious note, you just have to be diplomatic, you praise her strengths and encourage her to take lessons or learn off a friend.

This is one of the flaws of our constitution. Any candidate aspiring for the highest office in the land should be compelled to prove to the people that he is healthy enough for the post and then let the people make up their mind. If this had been the case, this guy would have had to withdraw his candidacy. But then knowing Nigeria, they would have gotten one wuruwuru doctor declare him fit only to tell us he developed this and that a day after election.

Even if the goat that was paraded yesterday sit in for him for the 2 weeks, i dont think anyone will notice any difference, walahi.

goatman- still waiting

goatman, hurry I beg.

If I am the goat man, once I turn my back against the wall and become human again, I will do two things,

1) I will go and fight the babalawo- he has to explain why i no turn to bird or butterfly?

2) I will bottle the 'juju' and start marketing it worldwide. In America alone, I can assure of patronage from all gangsters and drug dealers.

If goatman is reading this, please call me on 6726453389, I have a serious business proposal for you. Money don come.

@ poster

Respect is a 2 way street, to whom much is given, much is expected. Times have indeed changed, in the past, men toiled hunting while women stayed at home catering for children and all domestic affairs. In our modern era,  some women are the breadwinners and it will be foolhardy to expect them to function at 100% in the same manner they did during ancestral times. Besides, humans have developed and are wiser for it. What is important nowadays is undersanding and effective communication between two mature adults. There is absolutely nothing wrong in suggesting that your husband cook or do the laundry, as long as it is not an everyday affair and the woman has a genuine reason for not wanting to do them chores, because traditionally we have ascribed these functions as womens. Just as we have accepted that fixing the car, painting, carpentry etc are traditional roles for men.

But most importantly, any such request from a woman to her man must be delivered with the woman massaging her mans ego.

As an example: " Honey, I feel awful today, I ache all over, and I have so much to do. Can I ask you for a big favor?

This lady called her husband  "honey" ---   massaging his ego, she stands a better chance of getting help from him.

Compare to;   Clarus, I want to watch this movie, please help me do the laundry.

Ladies, it is ok to sing your husbands praises, even when he is tame, call him a tiger.  Tell him he is a king among men, tell him you cant love anyone else the way you love him. Massaging a mans ego is the only way to get the honey out of the jar. A trial will convince you.

If you buy this car and it is not out of this world, which one go come be?

@ Makeitrain

I love this car, but I can only buy it in bits, may be after 50 years I go own the whole thing, so therefore give me the prices for the following first

Spare Tyre----

Jack---

Car Manual--

I dey wait o!

I was having a conversation with a friend today and we cracked ourselves up sharing our first experiences with computers. As per Nija,  I am sure a lot of us did not encounter this incredible machine until much later on in our teen years, I would love to hear your unique experiences, lets have some fun.

When I got my first  first IT job in the UK, I was asked by the Manager to go into a room and fetch him a modem. Unknown to this manager, the closest I had been to a modem when studying Electrical Engineering back in Nigeria was a picture of this thing that looked like a Nepa transformer staring at me from a textbook. Anyway, I hurried into the room, my eyes panning everywhere looking for this ginormous modem that was no where to be found, quickly thinking on my feet and not wanting to be found out, I bolted to the bathroom, making up my mind that except the manager goes to get his thing himself, I was not going to step a foot out that door. I kept my ears wide open until I heard him shouting out my name, complaining  he had waited too long. After a few more minutes, I stepped out and went over to his desk complaining I must have had food poisoning from the chinese I had the previous night, meanwhile my eyes were scanning furiously until i figured out that the tiny piece of equipment half the size of my shoe was the modem the guy had asked me for. Ok, now that you are taking the piss out of me, lets have your story.

This has been a great topic and a lot of nairaland experts (tongue in cheek)  have voiced very valid points. In my candid view, leaving Nigeria for abroad is totally subjective, when I left I was genuinely frustrated with the fact that it was extremely difficult to make headway (i.e. get a descent job) without having to result to compromising my principles. I hated that you had to know someone or have connection at an establishment before your application can be considered. I was determined, independent, confident with visions of how i wanted to live life, i just did not fancy the Nigerian way of doing things.  I wanted to take people at face value and wanted to be judged based on my capabilities and experience, not because I brought a note from so,so and so (influences), sadly this was the practise in Nigeria then.

I was then not particularly bothered about  the breakdown in our infrastructures, security was never an issue ( I no kuku get kobo then), neither was 'lack of Nepa', lack of clean drinkable tap water, etc. Left to those, I probably would have listened and heeded to Andrews rallying call (Andrew no check out O! Nigeria go survive). I think for me faith was a critical factor in my decision, I knew I was'nt comfortable with the Nija way, so I prayed and believed God to lead me to where I would flourish. In the UK, I did the odd jobs as an Engineer, but I had my goal, I knew I was ambitious and I was not going to take no for an answer, like most people, I went on a free UK government training at the end of which I landed a voluntary job (work but no pay, but my brother dash me suit fine pass my Oga own). It did not take long for the company to notice me, I was retained on a graduate salary with usual perks at the end of the voluntary period. I rose to become a consultant in my field, I have since migrated to the US where I now operate and run my own company, employing natives of this land. I now also contribute to development of my country by engaging in business activities with certain state governments (Money dey Nija, LOL).

Lets stop generalising and let the saying " to each his own" prevail.  If I had read this thread prior to my emigration, i probably would have been dead petrified (since I left the shores of Nija with visiting Visa). Come rain come shine, irrespective of location, cream always rises to the top, work hard, pray hard, be determined and please do not wait for manna cause all you will get is bird droplets on your head.

To summarize, the best brains are in the mortuary, you know why? cause they never tried! Try (with a backup plan- please do not put all your eggs in one basket) and if it fails, at least you would have lived without regrets.

FAILURE IS ONLY A CROSSROAD ON THE PATH TO SUCCESS.

feliz ano nuevo

And so? that is no big deal, he is a free man in a free country, who cares if he eats his shoe for breakfast, it don't rub no skin of my nose. As long as he keeps doing what he was voted into office to do, i have no issues with him at all.

Big Cudos so far for work in progress.

Just got Nintendo wii

The best thing to do is to be frank and without resentment, explain that you are seeing someome else (that's if you are gay) or that your preference is women (if you're straight).

I suggest you document your correspondences and mail it to yourself as registered mail- never open the mail just keep it in a safe place, it may be useful later on- that's if he does start a witchunt.

Then carry on your life as normal.

Do not escalate the matter except you are convinced this person is out to get you.

I have come to accept that society has changed forever, gay people are here to stay, whether we like, accept or not. Tolerance is key as long as no one is shoving their sexual preference or nuance in my face.

Be safe.

Common Nigerians, we ought to be wiser than this. If Rilwan merits any position at all in a Nigerian Government, it should be as an 'elder statesman' adviser based on his experience, nothing more nothing less. To simply continue recycling same names and their cronies in the corridor of any Government is ridiculous and absurd.

What is he going to do now? rehash same old policies and hope for A MIRACLE?

We are bound as a nation and need to break free from this politics of greed and deceit.

We have abound lots and lots of technocrats in the oil and gas sector, who will be dynamic and vibrant and bring a whole set of fresh ideas to that portfolio. For a start, as a nation we need to be very concerned that the west are already diversifying away from oil as fuel, whats our strategy? what are we going to do then, sell oil to ourselves.

I am deeply dissapointed and frustrated.

Is this thread for real? As a Nigerian I am immune to my people trying to scam me, just dont pay attention, junk mail.