₦airaland Forum

9jadelta: when there is no longer (religion of piss)

Hey Crazy Militant, Mind your words here, Who knows maybe its another Xtain that plant the bomb. Everything is now Boko Haram. I'm anxiously waiting for the WARRI DRUNKARD called CAN president to spit his usual saliva.
N.B
Oya Mumu,Quote and Start Yabbing me now, i know thats what you know how to do best on Nairaland

deyrock: i can't dat murder fucker, hw can u jst get and accuse somebdy without any evidence. All this muslims sef.

Wetin bring muslim come herr, Are you in any way related to the shoeless cassava eating president. You share something in common, CLUELESS

Beaf: My broda, they are only revealing their desperation, frustration, discombobulation, abysmal inabilitiy to keep up with my sinewous intellectual acrobatics and sinuous verbal gymnastistics.

I am here to teach, yeach, teacn and yet again, teach the weeds, rocks and stones amongst us. One day, they will evolve from monkey to man.

Eeeeewo, Sooooo...You get this kind skill and you dey waste for presidency, i will personally tell Egon Jonathan to send you to house of Rep so that you can succeed the igodomigodo. What a Comic Relief. I think the honorables are lacking Comedian at the green chamber. Egonmi Rascist, Ogungbooo, You get talent Walahi

poj: Se beef don go church ni? Expecting his reaction to this.

E DON COME OOOH, I JUST NOTICED THAT HE IS VIEWING THIS THREAD NOW...SEE HIM HERE:
mike404 ( m ), Jimmyselly , Ramcie ( f ), oldlord ( m ), As-salaam ( f ), poj ( m ), khanivorous ( m ), Beaf , jerryaji ( m ), Jojo Armani ( m ), femojie ( m ), jessyok , de bumps , monami2abd , aminudangana , speeder ( m ), idnoble007 ( m ), odiba18 , abdakeem ( m ), puppy2k and 28 guest(s)

lacasa: Lmaoo!

Na so dem take nigerians for fools!

Bt one day we will revenge, one day

Na so my brother....I dey feel you

Bontee: You should be banned for altering the original content from sahara reporters and such changes should not be allowed here on nairaland. It might be fine to change the topic or headline but definitely not the content of another man's write-up.

Brother Oponu, Cant you see the link there? Or maybe your pikin don break your eye glasses, Oya Come and Ban me. Mtcwwww

Haba Moderator, This Post deserves to be on the FrontPage naah, At least, it can serve as comic relief to Nairalanders that are used to readding Bad news here.
Im very sure if it is Bomb Blast News, It would have been in the FRONTPAGE since last night.
Abeg, Put am for front page make my people laugh small.

Demdem: The Retardeen is simply fooling himself if he thinks his atrocities are not being compiled.

when ever i see any post bolded in tick black with the word retardeen, i dont bother to check the poster, Its definately almighty DEMDEM. Egbon Jonathan Egbere Badluck snatch your wife? Chei, Bros, I hail oooh lol

Demdem: The Retardeen is simply fooling himself if he thinks his atrocities are not being compiled.

when ever i see any post bolded in tick black with the word retardeen, i dont bother to check the poster, Its definately almighty DEMDEM. Bros, I hail oooh

duality: beaf, pls confirm you are the renox guy

Dont you know their real names? BEAF is Reno Omakri, S.A. to GEJ on facebook,Twitter & General Internet. Ruby is Reuben Abati S.A. Media , Orontus is Oronto Douglas S.A Research & Strategy to GEJ

Early Monday morning. A chalet somewhere in Aso Rock. Booze, runs girls, and other trade marks of government officials. Montell Jordan’s “This is how we do it” blares from a powerful gbedu home theatre. Enter Ruby.
“Orontus! Renoks (BEAF) ! Na here una still dey?”
“Ruby (ABATI) ! Why you always dey rush in to wake person? Wey your own by the way?”
“I don discharge am. She don go. There is work to do. I still can’t get used to the idea of waking up like this on Monday mornings.”
Orontus and Renoks crack up. Loud peals of laughter.
“You think you were coming here to chaireditorial board meetings of Rutam Times on Monday mornings? Calm down my friend. You will soon get used to government work ethics.”
“Thanks, Orontus. Thanks, Renoks. I go say una talk so but right now there is fireon the mountain and we need to get cracking.”
“You are such an alarmist. I have told you that the Malabu oil deal scandal will calm down after a while.
Oga does not have to react to that one. No be Naija we dey?”
“That’s what you keep saying, Orontus. You people should at least let me know the exact size of Oga’s share of that booty so I’ll know what to say if the public insists on an explanation. Have younot heard that the House has instituted aprobe into it?”
Another round of raucous laughter from Orontus and Renoks
“Ruby, oh, Ruby. You no go kill person so? The National Assembly? Ha ha ha ha ha. Renoks, tell Ruby what is going on.”
“Oga Ruby you should know by now our ritual with the boys in the National Assembly. Dem own no dey pass Prado Jeeps. One Prado per person and that will be the end of the noisemaking.”
“Renoks, we are talking $1.1 billion o. Are you sure they will accept Prado Jeeps? Won’t they ask for a bigger cut?”
“Oga Ruby, wait, I never finish. That wasour initial fear. That they would ask for abigger cut. So when we asked their representatives to come to the Villa at midnight the other day, our strategy was to start small and increase the offer depending on their stubbornness. So we started with Toyota Camry and were surprised that they just agreed without negotiation. That meeting ended before 1:00 am. It was that short. Oga was even still able to host Baba Edo starting from 2:00 am that night”
“Oh, no, they accepted Toyota Camry? Not even the usual Prado Jeeps? That’s how cheap they have become?”
“Yes o, Ruby. We instructed them to continue to make some noise throughout June on the floor of the house.”
“And which Baba Edo came here at 2:00am?”
“Ruby! How many Baba Edo do we have fixing things for us? Don’t you know that Oga has decided that PDP must win the gubernatorial election in Edo state? That’s why we summoned the old man?”
“A man over 80 years-old agreed to come here in the dead of night? Na wa for dat Baba o. Anyway sha, you guys are distracting me. I’ve even forgotten why I wanted to see both of you. Today is June 1st o.”
“Ehen? If today is June 1st nko? Abeg, Ruby, go and draft Oga’s speech for June12. End it with a statement renaming theKainji dam. Oga has decided to call it the Amen-by-Fire Hydroelectric dam.”
“Amen-by-Fire dam? Why?”
“Ruby! Ruby! You no dey quick understand o. Nigerians have been complaining that Oga does not say Amen when respected clergy men go off point and begin dey yab yeye prayer. So we give the Nigerian people a permanent monument to the Amen they are looking for this coming June 12. Besides, there will so much national outcry by those who would say Oga is being dumb as usual by renaming Kainji dam on June 12that the MAULAG protests will be drowned and forgotten.”
“But there will be a new round of protests over the Amen-by-Fire Hydroelectric dam.”
“Then we find another yawa to keep them busy. The idea is to keep them busy from yawa to yawa till 2015.”
“Anyway, you guys have distracted me again. I’m not here for June 12. I’m herebecause Oga promised the whole countrythat Boko Haram and other security challenges will end in June 2012.”
“And so?”
“What do you mean and so? Orontus…”
“Lookia, Ruby boy, don’t Orontus me over that matter o. Just because I am Strategy and Renoks is Twitter and Facebook does not mean that we must always be your master planners. Can’t you go and tell people that Oga was misquoted?”
“This is the electronic age, Orontus. Oga is not just on written record. He is on tape, putting an expiry date on terrorism.We cannot claim that he was misquoted o.”
“Then go and claim that he was speakingmetaphorically and our people should learn to understand metaphors.”
“Orontus, you know I have used that onebefore. I was sort of hoping that Oga meant what he said? That there is indeeda master plan to rid the country of Boko Haram, kidnappings, etc this month? If that is the case, tell me so I can begin toprepare a victory over terrorism speech for June 30th. That is why I am here.”
“Sometimes, Ruby, you say things to deliberately annoy person. How you go dey ask if Oga get answer to Boko Haram or if plan really dey to end Boko Haram?”
“But it was Oga that put an expiry date on Boko Haram now. We were all there that day when…”
“Ruby, I’m not daft. I know we were all there when he said it. What I am saying is that we all live in fear whenever Oga steps up to a microphone. We have all accepted the fact that no amount of coaching go fit make oga sabi yarn properly. So we all pray and hope that the damage will not be too much whenever he talks to Nigerians. You of allpeople should know that the Boko Haramyarn na one of those Oga mouth-miss-road yarns and you are here asking us if there is indeed a master plan to endBoko Haram in June.
Master plan ko, servant plan ni? Na so e easy?”
“So how do we handle the scandal if bombings and kidnappings continue in thecountry after June 30?”
“Ruby, since you still don’t know how we do things, watch me and learn. Renoks, call Ibrahim right now.”
A phone rings at the EFCC’s brand new Headquarters in the Jonathan district (formerly Maitama) of Abuja.
“Hello, hello, yes, who is speaking?”
“Ah, Oga Lamorde, na me o. Your boys are representing here in the Villa.”
“Ah, Oga Orontus! Yaya de? It’s been three days o. Dis one that you remembered me today. How are you sir?How is Oga?”
“We are all fine Oga Lamorde. Happy new month to you. Oga has a small problem which requires keeping the country a little busy from July 1st to around the end of August.”
“Ehen, ok. What is it?”
“It is that Boko Haram expiry date business. How can we find idle diversionary talk for Nigerians as from July?”
“That is easy. We can dust some high-profile files and do high-profile arraignments throughout July and August. Which files do you suggest, Oga Orontus?”
“Now you are talking, Oga Lamorde. Let’s use the fuel subsidy file. The indicted people are heavy and many of them are in Oga’s economic team. You can start arresting and arraigning them inJuly.”
“Ok, Oga Orontus, I’ll leave it to you to explain to the concerned people that there will be some inconvenience for them in July-August.”
“Before nko? Leave that angle to us. Talkto you later, Oga Lamorde. Bye.”
“Ehen, Ruby, you see now. This is how we do it. While Lamorde is busy arrestingand arraigning, your own assignment will be to “see” editors of newspapers, especially the Lagos-Ibadan media. Don’tworry about “seeing” ThisDay. They will help us anyway, whether we “see” them or not. Plant stories that Oga is considering sacking Madam Diezani and disbanding Nuhu Ribadu’s committee. If Lamorde is arresting people in Oga’s economic team, and newspapers are gossiping about Madam Diezani and Ribadu, and Renoks here is twitting and Facebooking about Oga’s renewed war on corruption, Nigerians will not remember that Boko Haram expiry date talk even if Boko Haram drops an atomic bomb on June 30th.
Trust me, Ruby.”
“I trust you, Orontus.”
SOURCE
http://saharareporters.com/column/boko-haram%E2%80%99s-expiry-date-pius-adesanmi

Xtana: Must it be University only the'll name after somebody.
I suggest they use Market, Mosque, Banks, Forest, Railways, Hotels, Orphanages etc
N I G E R I A .......sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!

What about Church too, Rev. King's Murderer Church would have sound better, Tb Josuah Magical and death prediction evangelical church would have been ok, David Oyedepo tithe & seed evangelical Ministry will be fine, abi what do you think?....

ACM10: You are not alone. I ask the same question too. Only criminalz receive accolades in Nigeria. People that brought glory and happiness to millionz of Nigerianz are left to die in misery. Their namez are quickly forgotten. While criminals like IBB, Abacha, Murtala Muhammed are immortalized. The person whose case baffles me most iz Murtala Muhammed. He iz a war criminal who commanded the forces that massacred civilians at Asaba and worshipperz at Onitsha. He iz barely educated. He took over the country after coup, even though Obasanjo wz hiz superior. He achieved nothing for the country. He wz killed just the way he killed otherz. But on hz death everyone wz fallin on each other to get somethin named after him. I wonder what I would tell my kidz if they ask me who these criminalz are.

Then stop giving your kids N20 notes..Chikena

PhysicsQED: Or do they not understand who he is?

http://www.ibbu.edu.ng/

Is his regime as worse as the current clueless regime of retardeen Lameduck Jonathan??

Justiyke4u: The bonus stuff is not working again u wil keep on receiving bonuses without making use of it i av received more dan 10k yet is just der u i cant make call with it wats d essence

I have 4k as bonus and still cant make calls... Though, they migrated me to Family & friend, i was still receiving bonus until this morning when they locked it....Is there anyone with the same experience? what can i do to access this bonus

mbulela: They have been charging me for SMS alert. A service i never subscribed to nor used for 1 sec.
One of these days, i will compile all such deductions and get a lawyer to write them.
Even if it is 5000 naira,they will refund all.

You took it from my mouth

FILEBE: That's what's happening now. Gunshots and teargas from the police to the students. Shooting teargases into hall of residence.* cant even catch my breath now *
na running things o!

Please, Breath ooooh lol

amosy007: segun agbaje for central bank governor we are tired of salusi and his stupiid policies

Must u let everyone know that you are tribo-religious bigot...Pls, go and hug tranformer

Mtchwwww....Whats so special about this criminal, smoker and financial thief. I really missed aderinlokun, the former GMD. Since this guy took over, GTB keeps charging me N100 for withdrawing on the counter. They refused to give me my ATM on technical group. Right now, Im hating my beloved GTB. RIP Tayo aderinlokun

betrani: Retardeen sane man! U nor b fool abi? U wan deny say u nor vote for that Man without shoes abi? Tell me say ur father and mother nor vote for that pumpkin make I here! Mu-mu

Why should i vote for a Clueless, Shoeless Militant. Im very sure that your poverty striken parent received 200naira at the polling unit to vote for the retardeen

ollah1: In 1985, IBB was the president of Nigeria and our teachers told us that Buhari was the former President....Our teacher also called us the leaders of tomorrow....27 years after, IBB and Buhari are still contesting for President....its either our teacher lied to us about being the leaders of tomorrow...or tomorrow hasnt come.

YES, And your Future Leader GEJ frustrating your children future too....He had no shoe, So, he wants your children to be shoeless so that they will become a clueless President too

kiviglomi: Confusionist, coming to confuse the country again. He himself is confused. does he think the path of hounor is to die as a president? someone close to his grave still wants to lead a country. God forbid. *smh*

Between LameDuck Egbere Jonathan and Buhari, Who is more confused

rasputinn: Iddiot,see his terrorist mouth wey e take dey talk say "I may run again",who you wan come dey tell "my pellow kwantiri-man"
Why do you want to run;YET AGAIN,oh so if you run and lose the election;AS USUAL,you would now unleash your boko and almajiri boys to murder the harmless youth corpers?
Ayatollah Buhari,run na,anybody hold you?may you run to your doom before 2015

What evidence do you have against Buhari in the Death of Youth corp member? Did he carry gun to kill them. You need to be very careful bro. Most NYSC corp members are yet to be paid their April allowance now, some of them are suffering in my environment here because of unpaid allowance Under GEJ Govt. Stop castigating Buhari here, Just tell us that you hate anything Hausa/Fulani/Muslims then i will agree with you. Mumu

Demdem: Will make my decision by 2015 when i have all alternatives in front of me. I hope better candidates would have shown interest by then. if not, Buhari isnt that bad to be President.
One thing am sure of is The Retardeen is a No-No

Well said bro, We need better alternative

denko: Buhari is a great man in his own right and I respect him as an elder statesman. But as far as a democracy is concerned in this digital age and time, Buhari is not the best that Nigeria has to offer.

Abuse of power is the worst form of corruption in leadership. Buhari abused power when he was military Head of State.

When Buhari seized power, he threw Alex Ekwueme into prison in KiriKiri and kept Shehu Shagari under house arrest. How do you explain such double standards?

During Buhari, journalists were brutalized, hushed and muzzled. Tunde Thompson and Nduka Irabor were jailed under the evil laws of the Buhari regime.

During the Buhari regime, 53 suitcases were smuggled into the country at a time the nation's borders were closed because of the change in the colour of the national currency in 1984. Have we forgotten?

Under Buhari's regime, there was a law against 18 year olds going to Hajj. Tunde Idiagbon took his 14 year old son to Hajj and nothing happened.

Lawal Ojuolape, Benard Ogedengbe and Bartholomew Owoh; these three men were ordered to be executed by Buhari under a retroactive decree for the crime of drug trafficking which didn't carry a death penalty wen they committed the crime.

The late Tai Solarin was imprisoned and refused treatment for his asthma by this same Buhari.

Secretary General of the ruling NPN Uba Ahmed who was Buhari's tribesman was arrested at the airport only to be released on Buhari's orders and allowed to fly out of the country.

Buhari, like IBB and Abdusalami Abubakar treated the Oputa Panel with disdain. He refused to show up at the panel.

I will not vote for Buhari in 2015; not even if he picks the Pope as his running mate.

Well researched lies. But bros, If you pay more attention to investigate why you are jobless to research these piece about Buhari, You wouldnt have been as poor as you are today..just my opion

denko: I prefer the leader of Boko Haram to Buhari, because Boko Haram wing of Buhari has exercise all their prowess, if i vote for buhari my right to religion is not guarantee. atleast boko haram is attacking but buhari will islamise. be warn

Now, You have show how stupid you are here. I though you were objective in your previous post. Its now a naked fact that you are a religions bigot. You are one of the 22Millions fools that voted for this SUFFERING called GEJ. repeat the same again in 2015 and continue to suffer. Suffering and smiling

[quote author=~Bluetooth]She spent all life working not even a married life to remember her for.What do you expect ? They all look haggard before they die. Very pathetic though[/quote]Abeg, i no get teeth to laugh oooh

Just heard this in his presidential broadcast., Nairalanders, What do you think about it

JONATHAN's Promise of FRESH AIR
Read
F= Fuel Subsidy removal
R=Religious and Ethnic crises
E=Expands in bombings from one part of d
country to anoda.
S=State of emergence in Brono, others
H=High rate of
poverty and unemployment.
A=ASUU Strikes
I=Insecurity in the 2012
R=Restlesness and fustration
in our youth

Eeeewoo, i though they are spammer, I do see them messing arround on celebrity facebook pages...Never knew they are for real