₦airaland Forum

please...where did you get your stash from, you're obviously being trolled, saw the link to this post on 4chan and.... boy! your'e the laughing stock there

Musa was walking with Sir Richie Attenborough through Yankari Game Reserve, when they unexpectedly came across a lion, musa squats and starts retying his 10 year old adidas's, Sir Richie looks at him and says "Musa you cant seriously believe you can outrun the lion", Musa looks at him, smiles and says "i know.... but i can outrun YOU"

At the annual samurai contest for all of japan, where the best of the best come forward to show their skill, after four days of intense games there are 3 finalists from the initial 100 standing, all three are so good that they cannot be seperated, so the judges come up with a final test which involves the killing of a fly.

as the first samurai steps up the can containing the fly is open and with one slice he cuts the fly in half.

the second steps up and another can is opened and with two swings reduces the fly into four pieces.

the third samurai, while observing the other two smile's and steps up, his can is opened, he takes a swing and neatly sheathes his sword, the fly lives and buzzes off, a judge approaches him with a look of suprise on his face and says 'the fly lives', to which the samurai replies 'yes, but he will never have any children again'.

EEEEEUUUUURRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

if you sit down,look at the screen very well and see the words "come" and "sticky" you'd understand the joke, otherwise we'll know the illiterates then.

are you guys for real let the police partner foreign law enforcement agencies for that kind of technology, as for me i won't give my personal info to a 'private company'for the sake of 'SECURITY'. my privacy is mine and mine alone.thank you

i have wondered over the past few weeks, going past billboard adverts advertising 'rhocket mobile' a broadband solution by one of our telecomms operators, one advertissement goes 'if our team was as reliable as, ,  you'll be buying tickets to, whereever, thinking about this particular advert i could not help but notice that it was taking a mean and cheap shot at at the super eagles of nigeria, though we know the obvious, should thou rub it in? nigerians like enjoying the misery of others or is it humans generally, speak up and speak out now

for all who care to read this post i think they should carry weapons,that is because
1. these guys are the first line of defence against pipeline vandals and these vandals dont carry baseball bats to scare off intruders.
2. the national guard in the united states of america go around in battle tanks and they refer to themselves as weekend warriors.
3. accidental discharge is subjective (each case is unique on its own) no warning signs or whatever
4. we need more GUNS,THE GUNS SMUGGLED INTO THE COUNTRY OUTNUMBER THOSE IN LEGIT CIRCULATION, WELL, NOT CALCULATING THE ARMY'S ARMOURY.

Two missionaries on exploration in the deep jungles of central africa, come across a tribe of UNFRIENDLY Savages, they are a seized and taken before the tribe's chief who looks at them and says in broken english, Death or Bunjee, the first missionary understanding the first option, chooses Bunjee, he is seized and handed to all the tribe to be RAPED, the second seeing the fate that befell his comrade stands straighter and chooses Death rather than suffer humiliation, the chief looks at him and says Death it is then,  BY BUNJEE.

@cythoney cheer up maybe you'll like this one use the search engine to look for this one 'the bride+geebeeohh+nairaland'

That same night,musa wakes up and also rouses sir richie and asks "what do you see?" Sir richie,on his back,looks up and says "I see the stars,faraway galaxies and shooting stars, " Musa hisses and retorts "you are so full of bullshit,sir richie,someone stole the gaddem tent".

Musa a game reserve warden at yankari had the opportunity of being tour guide to world reknown nature biologist sir richie attenbrogh, one day while riding in the old land rover,musa who's driving suddenly stops and jumps down,puts his ear to the ground, stands up and declares "buffalo come" and sir richie obviously amazed asks "how can you tell" to which musa replies "face sticky".

Jack Sh*t,bullsh*t,horse sh*t,take your pick.

thank you all. you have spoken out loud and true,for those who still believe this is a project that would improve the lives of nigerians,i say you need to wake up and smell the coffee, otherwise.

i am proud to be a nigerian and long live the federal republic of nigeria.amen.i rest my case.

Amen to that, brother, Amen!!!

the iron giant and the champ,

there is a new predator movie coming out in the next few days aptly titled 'predators' and staring adrien brody should be a blast in 10.2 surround and in 3D, wow!!!

this is Nigeria first and foremost

1. it is a white elephant the money will go to that imaginary place where they all go.

2. it will be employed for a purpose other than that which it was created e.g. advertising, campaigning e.tc.

3. mismanagement,mismanagement, mismanagement.

4. is this what obtains in europe or america?[list]

A nigerian man just in from thailand cannot believe his luck with his new thai wife,weeks after their marriage he still can't believe the mind blowing sex, after one marathon session, his wife's hand strays below the covers once again to his cock, it is too much for him and he asks 'seems you like this thing very much oh, is it the reason you just keep holding onto it,ehn?' the wife looks at him and says 'maybe its because i miss MINE'.

It was a rude shock to me when i was reading in the newspapers a few days back that part of the procedure for the SIM registration exercise,will include, apart from the normal info, finger printing, FINGER PRINTING, im sorry i think i,ll pass, there is talk of blocking of lines of those who are unwilling to participate, imagine if your phone is found at the scene of a crime or some one uses it in threatening another person. In what language do you intend to explain yourself to the police,our leaders in order to curb anonymous calls made to them, for whatever reason i dont care, have come up with this 'CRAZY' idea.this is a breach of our FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS and i must say no,if you are a true Nigeria Speak up and Speak out now, what next after this STATE SANCTIONED PHONE TAPS ON 140 MILLION NIGERIANS, NEVER.i humbly submit.

i want to agree with you guys, but i just cant,you see those errors put the human element on a very important pedestal in a match, besides it makes football more fun

without those errors where would all those saturday evening, alcohol-fuelled, arguments go

you dig?

this happened yesterday, my brothers and i were talking about the world cup and particularly the ball 'jabulani' and the review and complaints from goal keepers and players alike when a friend show up and says


this jabulani sef which country im dey play for?

now,how do you answer that question

more or less like cheap gold plated boot winner, hideous, eish

you can tell him that you are betrothed to another man and that any other relationship thereafter is forbidden, and of course you can spice up the story with those bits (juju,oaths,african science e.t.c. use your imagination)

you did not hear this from me

if you want to impress a guy show up naked with a six pack of beer and give him something to daydream about till next year, plus you warn him not to operate heavy machinery for the next few days becos he'd have a problem with paying attention.

Do you wake up in the morning everyday,you want to work, you feel like working but when you think about the job and the expected take home package you just feel too tired to leave the house,dont get me wrong, i'm not lazy,but then think about it because i'm getting fed up.

the names gbolade, an Ekiti man to the Core. sticks,stones,water and most importantly the Fire.

tunnel vision if you ask me

to be on the safe side, tis better if the kid doesn't have a cell,but if it is necessary that he or she should have one, then a classic phone would be okay not the supercomputers people carry around in their pockets.a fairly simple phone for SMS and calls only.chikena

it is funny when you think about it. its either some people have been reading too many fictional books or watching too many films, the fine combination of a steady head and even a steadier hand and a distance of about 600 metres,a G3 rifle and a 7.62mm round, do you smell something , SNIPER! SNIPER!! A pity if you are on the wrong end of the barrel