₦airaland Forum

WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS?
1. Passion is finite in a relationship. If you want it to last, make your presence comfortable, not intense.

2. If your partner wants space, give them that. But if you use “I want space” manipulatively to get their attention, simply stop it.

3. Affection fluctuates throughout all relationships. Grass in most cases isn’t greener on the other side.

4. When trust is broken, putting it together takes a long time and cracks will remain forever. So try not to break it.

5. Flirting, casual or intentional, still counts as cheating in the eyes of the other person. How you define it doesn’t matter.

6. Few people can say no to a flirty charming man/woman. If you want more than instant excitement at the potential cost of your long-term happiness, shut out the irrelevant people completely. Don’t tell your partner nothing will happen.

7. When they already forgave you for a mistake, don’t make the same one again. So you show your partner that you take them seriously.

8. Not everything that went wrong can be made right. Sometimes it’s probably the best to let it go. Plus don’t play victim all the time.

9. The first-time betrayal (any form) might be an accident. Forgive them and move on. If it happens again, walk away and never comes back unless you want a third time.

10. Try your best to be a positive person. Being charming isn’t about looks only. Nobody likes to be treated like a complaints recycling bin.

11. Looks still matter though; even you are together for a long time. (But it’s not everything.)

12. Telling your partner how you feel is silly when you are on the edge of a break-up. Don’t beg, plead, devalue yourself by taking full responsibility for the relationship failure, because a. they don’t give a damn and b. it’s never one person’s fault. If you want to cry, do it secretly.

13. Try to distinguish hating to lose him/her from loving him/her.

14. If you want to break up, don’t tell him/her now. Give yourself a week or a few weeks to think about it.

15. Men think straight. Women say things they don’t mean; mean things they don’t say (ugh).

16. It takes two to communicate. Don’t be a child trying to make the other person yield by emotionally abusing them.

17. There are a lot of things you can’t control, including the other person’s thoughts. Don’t force things. It won’t succeed.

18. Even you can’t force things; you can influence them, positively of course.

19. Right after the break-up you will feel desperate. Try to calm down and reflect on what you had done wrong that contributed to the break-up and what kind of people you really want to be with. Believe that over time, you will heal (more than cliche).

20. Don’t contact your ex (do your best not to). This isn’t the new “hard to get” game. The time disappearing from his/her world is primarily to help you live again as an independent person. You will fail in future relationships if you don’t know how to be alone.

21. Good relationships should bring out the best of us, not the worst. And good relationships don’t just fall from sky. You two should make it good.

22. A failed relationship isn’t utterly bad. Human being selectively remembers the most recent things that happened while ignoring the good earlier memories. (read < thinking, fast and slow> by Daniel Kahneman, fantastic book)

23. Women need transparency; men need space. Try to balance things out a bit.

24. Assumptions made are mostly incorrect (Especially by women, who connect the wrong dots. Again, read the book in no.22)

25. Don’t be self-centered. Nobody is obligated to put up with the ugly/paranoid side of you, all the time.

26. There are other priorities in life that make you a better, more lovable person. They help you make the relationship sustainable, too. (Helpful to overcome no. 25)

27. Either wanting your partner all the time or wanting an affair can be attributed to (not always though) not being busy enough. It’s kinda (actually very) pathetic.

28. If you always act like you can’t live without the other person, chances are he/she will get annoyed and leave.

29. Screenshot those arguments, in the worst communication of text for instance, and review it afterwards. You will realise how damn nasty you were to them. Guys, please, words can hurt really badly.

30. Do you want to be “right”, or do you want to be with the person you love?

31. If you are bitter, don’t expect your partner to be sweet. If you want to question if they love you, question first if you love him/her to a point of equality you are allegedly (sometimes ironically) seeking.

32. Throwing emotions doesn’t love them. Regulating those emotions is necessary but a lot of people don’t know that. I was one of them.

33. Love that person the best you can when you are still together. Because love doesn’t happen all the time.

34. Reading this answer might not eliminate your pain. But it helps you see things clearer.

35. Most people, even after reading an answer like this, will still make some of the mistakes mentioned. I was one of them.


How can you apply this to your previous relationship?




https://www.quora.com/What-did-you-learn-from-previous-relationships

Leonbonapart:
Please I am searching for the title of one song by MI Ababa.
Part of the lyrics he said: "first in High school they call us Alleluja kids"

Another part: "I struggle with my grades but on stage I will shine"

Thanks in advance

MI - Unstoppable

Please does this includes people wey dey pour water to clean our bumbum too ��

Dothraki:
bro i have a university degree , mechanical engineering for that matter and i aint using it for nothing.
I made so much money doing business, i have several friends who are worth over 200m and they only have school cert.
My friend who graduated with a 4.35 cgpa earns 18k a month working as a secondary school teacher in lagos.

Trust me, university degree is getting worthless day by day as the school kept churning out graduates and there is very few job opportunities. Imagine having over 300 thousand graduates yearly with only 800 job openings per year.

Killing yourself will be the most stupid thing you can ever do.

Bro pls can I have your mail

AccessME:
After 4yrs in the University with Lot's of frustration, carryover, sleepless nights and humiliation, I ended up not graduating now I'm depressed contemplating Suicide. Trial time 4 me

Pls can u drop ur digits pls

suitlovers:
.


I even believe now is the time the pastor will have more customers in his church.
People will want to go see his reaction life - his composure.




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AJ Lost

Michaelkings:
see me I don't what to live anymore,let God take away it's life from me and can't do anything life,am just a waste

Hi Bro, Its well and I can feel your pain. Everybody at a point felt same way but we all gonna make it through. I know things aren't easy or fast as you expect but believe me suicide not an option.

Please let's live

soulpeppersoup:
Uboh is not an igbo name.

Yoruba name I guess.... oh maybe Hausa

Ambode Ministerial Ambition Loading.....

tactius:
Don't be making accusations with no evidence.

Yes, the CBN governor might be guilty. But, if you cannot back it up with evidence other than hearsay, forget it...or risk getting into trobule.

I doubt if you read before posting this rubbish.

Now the best way is to jail him right.

Thank God is an igbo. The tribafools would have started crying up and down

Logobenz:
hi.my pm don't work.we can talk on a dead thread like here

We hollaing on WhatsApp already

Waoooh. Bless God and thanks for the power tools called Social Media....

Please is Nl a social media or Tontoland/Snakeland Media

andysmith123:
e pain am

You yet to make use of it bro

Twitter Again....

andysmith123:
the hair in that guy's anus is cuter than ur PAST,PRESENT and your FUTURE

Most you show your stupidity on social media.

C'mon get inside and make use of the borrowed fish brain in your pocket

Welcomme:
My Score is 149.... Can anybody help into U.I...
I am ready to pay whatsoever amount... I applied for medicine to b precised

So sorry about that bro. It's too poor for your desired course but all hope not lost yet. Keep preparing yourself for next year

Pls dont be scammed.

Cute my ass. This one that looks like doggy. There is difference between looking good and cute. Please dont mix them together.

Nl lost its value

Passionate888:
I think it's HT/FT and not 1st half/ 2nd half.. There's a big difference there.

Looool. Tell me more

Savage3306:
Thanks to chelsea

Lost game. Its 1/X not 1/2

OPUSDEI1:
People mostly put it on to announce that it's a new car.

But why I still can get it. Even some taxi put all this stickers too

Ramadan Kareem To All My Muslim Brother.

I pray God will make this Ramadan period an avenue to have mercy upon us.

Please let's not forget our dear country whenever we praying. It can only be better.

Ramadan Kareem From Elijah

Mah Sallam

OPUSDEI1:
It is only useful for saying "I beta pass my neighbour".

How pls

Please whats the use of the sticker. I dont really know the usefulness and its now a trend in Lagos almost every car has it.

Pls kindly enlighten.

#gEo

Black Knuckles or Bleached face

Punch Line

Brother tell us the truth. Did you vote PMB for presidency??