₦airaland Forum

Futuristica:
My wife has been acting weird for some months now, like she doesn't apologize if she is wrong, doesnt try to seek avenues for us to reconcile if we have quarrels. Instead, I am the one that always put the foot forward. If I point out something, she shows no remorse. She often says things like 'this life na once' .

Just a background.

I stumbled on this message sent by her workplace close girl friend. This tiktok message talks about falling in love with a married man because the man makes her feel loved etc etc.

But the caption below by the friend says, we will miss you so much.

My mind has been wondering what it means.
I woke her from sleep to confront her to explain what the message means (it's a message sent this January) ..she looked scared or maybe anxious as I asked her if she had cheated on me with anyone recently.. offcourse ,'no' is the normal answer.

I showed her the message for her to explain what it was about . She said she can't remember what it was about and that she doesn't know. When I pressed further, she started gaslighting that if I feel she cheated, I should give her a divorce .

Dear house, what are you views on this matter? I am more concerned about what this message might mean.

Please be fair in your judgement. Thank you.

it was too.early for.you to.conclude with just that msg you saw. your assumption may be wrong.


same thing I saw in my former babe. Dou beautiful but I had to choose my peace Dan her beauty. when I noticed that behavior of not wanting to apologize in the lady i wanted to marry, I had to let her go.

I don't know if you also allowed beauty to make you not to choose well before you went ahead to marry her.

this is a tough one . 14yrs non-remittance of pension scheme? how will the present governor pay it?
i don't see gov dapo agreeing to pay right frm amosuns time it started crumbling. He may likely accept to pay part to appease the workers.
But Na wa o. I thought ogun state is among the top 7states with high IGR. How com this shud be a big issue? where is this humongous money the state is making going to?

Which do you mean? Respect as in giving regard or honour to or you mean fear you because you beat her needlessly?

you probably appear as a thorough gentleman. they know you dnt complain or talk dt is why they see you as the go-to person to always ask for money.

the tiredness and weariness will wear off if you let them know that you also have bills on your neck. you have nt been talking.
You need to speak up. "I don't have...." start learning how to say no.
dou it makes one uncomfortable when they genuinely ask and you cnt give but say no politely once in a while.

Nice article

Onatounkiki:
Good day, I'm a lady of 29years, I have a married suitor who sincerely wants to marry me.
I have known him for years and I have always known that he loves me. We started seeing each other last year , his wife knows about us so his children and they accepted me wholeheartedly. I have spoken to his mum and sister too.

I told my family about him and he's willing to come over to see my parents anytime they are ready but my family hasn't agreed yet. Mind you, we've not had sex but this man checks everything I have ever wanted in my husband.

Is there anything wrong in getting married as a second wife

Note: We've not had sex and we are both Christians

daughter,

You claim to be an educated person up to a first degree university level.

Let me ask, if you decide to go for your masters and a case study question exactly like this is asked and made compulsory to be answered. So you will submit bank sheet and get a carry over?

Go pick up your BSc certificate, look at it as if it is a mirror for like 20mins, I am sure after you do this, you wil know how to respond to this your mata.

delzbaba:
watery purge feeling inside a public bus.

while the vehicle you are in is in a heavy traffic. you wen gentle before that feeling start, Na you go begin dey ask driver every 15mins wen e start. "Driver, you never reach my bus stop"

yemmit90:
What many men don't understand is, women in marriage are quite different to when they were single. If your wife don't give you sex as expected, try to find out what might cause her action.

Majority of them are often stressed out due to house chores, works and children monitoring. Many time the only thing their body needed is rest, and while sex might seem to be relaxation thing for single women ( due to scarcity), it is not for married ones because they are already used to it. Before you criticise or blame your wife, try to combine your work stress with house chores and children monitoring and see how you will feel when you have an opportunity to rest.

As a married man, you need to be considerate and help them at home where it necessary. If you want them to always ready to have sex, try to make them happy, not only by giving them money but by helping them at home (especially working class ones).

Besides, every woman weaponize sex( single or married), it left for you to know how to outsmart them to have your way.

No sir, stop defending something dt is wrong. you are speaking for the woman dt she is most times tired dt is why she is nt available for sex.

A gfrnd cn deny her bfrnd sex and it may be justifiable because wateva benefit weda sex or money both of dem get Frm each oda is transactional.

But we wrongly view sex in marriage too lightly.sex in marriage is a duty. A major duty and responsibility in marriage as been said in the Bible.
You holding brief for the woman dt huz chores most tyms makes her tired is nt a strong reason at all.

It is the way the woman responds dt mata's nt the tiredness. "sweetheart, I am very tired. Pls give me 30mins let me rest for a while. I wil join you in bed later" is a polite way of expressing ur tiredness. if a woman abruptly cuts the man short with the "I am very tired for sex" and nt follow it up with certainty of doin the sex later den the woman is wrecking her marriage gradually.

Let me ask, you as the husband dt you wake up probably as early as 5am to prepare for wrk and likely come bk late in the evening, you do this every single day bk to bk for say an average of 26days in a month in btw with traffic stress on the road , don't you get drained and exhausted. Have you stop providing? Absolutely NO

But still, you dnt use dt as an excuse to provide for that woman. pay huz rent, pay school fees, NEPA bill, clothing, medication for the wife and kids so dt everybody wil be satisfied and nt grumble.

You see, most men wil do the unimaginable and make sacrifices for the wife even in that their state of tiredness and keep doin it.

sex in marriage is nt just a casual sex. It is a major responsibility dt is difficult to evade. The only condition I see it been avoided is when either party is seriously down health wise.

It is a woman dt doesn't see sex as duty in marriage dt wil keep using tiredness as excuse. the woman shud include and accommodate sex time when Eva she is needed by the man.

When the woman is denying the man sex,we shouldn't be listing out reasons why she is denying the man sex, we shud see how we cn include the sex even in dt state of tiredness. Moreover, how many minutes be the sex?

Kobojunkie:
Yet, every year, the government in many of these abroad states records 100s of millions of dollars in inheritance taxes — taxes paid on inherited property? You should probably begin looking into getting yourself better friends(friends who will not use your ignorance as a weapon against you), or maybe even looking into directly obtaining education for yourself from the right sources.

2. Please get yourself some help while you are at it.

mister oga, hold what you ignorantly know and dnt know. I know people who benefit Frm some sane medical hospitals and where asked to pay as the treatment commences particularly emergency cases. a working colleague had an emergency surgery feb this yr.

wemzack:
Good morning my people I need your advice I am a graduate, since when I graduated I have not been able to get a permanent or suitable job and I have wife and two kids, my wife is the only child of her parents ,her father is a farmer almost 85 years old and her mother is dead her father like me so much that there is nothing he can not give, one day my wife called me that since I don't have permanent job why can't I join her father in his cocoa farm I was like do you want me to be like your father and be living in village she said what is wrong there that this is what her father has been doing till now and he can still afford to give us anything we ask, apart from that her father is aged he can't do much of the and since I am a graduate I will know how to modernize everything, but my own problem is that I don't know anything about agriculture, and is normal for me to go and join my father in-law and how can I modernize everything. Note my father in-law has cocoa farm,palm fruit,(he has lease that one out) he has cassava and other small farm but he can't do anything there because his strength has failed him. Please what should I do. How can I turn the project to something else even if I accept

son,
there are some professors living in that village. what is so special about dt your university certificate if you think you are too polish to live there ?

secondly, for now forget that you have a certificate. Go there asap and learn Frm that man. He wil be your professor(teacher) on the farm and you wil be his student. Just see it as you entering another school of real life agricultural studies.

I dnt know if it is agric you studied in school but dnt deceive yourself with dt your statement dt you will modernize everything. your agric professors and commissioners of agriculture you have in your school's and govt level do learn Frm dis our old farmers.

It is most certain dt when teaches you and shows you the rope, you wil nt wnt to work salary wrk esp when the proceeds of cocoa starts coming in. cocoa money is like oil money if you know the current price of 1tonne of cocoa.

If you delay too long and that old man goes to the other side of life and you miss out, you wil understand beta what you have lost.

Kobojunkie:
1. 1. People in other parts of the world prepare themselves even for death. Yes, they have wills and money stashed away to take care of things after their death. Death could come any moment -- second or minute--- but they are prepared for it 🤔

But here you all are awash with nonsensical reasons about how you should not be expected to prepare for the birth of a child whom you conceived and had about 9 months to prepare for. Do you not realize how very utterly pathetic that sounds? 🙄🙄🙄

2. Negotiating for what relief? Are you people OK at all? 🙄🙄

3. That man and woman are responsible for the death of that child. Negotiating after the fact when they had about 9 months to plan whatever relief they would need is a terrible excuse. Don't bother responding abeg!

youngman, you are referencing obodo oyibo. let me ask, where exactly have you travelled to outside Nigeria dt you are saying in other parts of the world.

A frnd I know who lives there said, most of wateva they posses or acquire or service delivery they benefit from comes in form of mortgage. it is not cash and carry over there.
You get the service and there is an option to pay thereafter.

I dnt tink, "your other parts of the world" you are holding brief for wil deny an emergency close to death because the man couldn't meet the demand right on the spot.

Hold your leaders responsible for making you reason and talk like this .

I doubt the FG is not aware of his doings . FG is speaking through the sole administrator.

Kobojunkie:
Children are not eediots! Of what real worth will those values be to them and their future in a society where values are trampled and switched — the very Law is considered of little or no worth?

2. Having open discussions with your kids will not remove the fact that money/resources are necessary for achieving the success desired and that failure is what awaits the majority who fail to obtain the resources necessary for success.

3. I would begin by apologising to them for being a bad parent parent unable to provide for their basic needs and many of their desires. By acknowledging the fault to be mine, I should be able to better reason with them where they are. All those kids out there seeking to join YahooYahoo are not unreasonable beings. Rather, at this point, we should have realized that many of them are simply human beings who are sick and tired of the suffering associated with living a life colored by lack.

you like to put up talk just to impress naira land audience and at the end, you don't make any meaningful contribution to the topic.

You actually have not said anything. Take a stand on that mata. Would you reason with that child to do yahoo? Yes or No.
stop rambling

KobomatPhones:
So i had this heated misunderstanding with my girlfriend which led to us breaking up aggressively as she hung up the call.

Exactly 2 hours later, she called… started apologizing and pleading that it was all her fault.

She added that she just got off the call with her ex, as she said the reason of the call was to know her kind of person in a relationship…. That he explained to her and also told her how i felt.

I was like, na your ex go tell you your faults before you realize them? As an adult wey you be.

She kept calling and calling, pleading for days.

Okay, 3 days later we met… i checked her phone, it was an hour call that night with her ex (which is understandable), but she has been calling him 3 days in a roll… with other male friends as well, and she said she was seeking advice.

Here is my point, i know 2 of her exes… The one she called that night and another dude

This another dude, when he chats her, she replies aggressively and shuts him off.

The ex she called that night, if he chats her, she is very calm and cooperative in replying detail to detail. Where are you? I dey road, I will call you back.

If he posts on whatsapp, she go first turn off reciepent via settings so he won’t know she viewed the status. Like, this is so much effort on a guy wey break your heart.

This same ex hid his 6 relationship with another girl and kept her as a second choice in their relationship…

This is the same ex wey break her heart and made her cry for days… wetin be this? Or her intentions might be innocent?

You titled your woes as issues between my gfrnd and I.
What exactly do you want us to say or do with this your complain?

Yorubastardz:
You call someone and tell them you need some money urgently.
They tell you by tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes, no show
You call the person, no show
At a point, they off their phones.

Why promise someone at such crucial moment then ghost dem?
It will be far better to tell them the truth that you don't have.

Than to give hope then run away
Why??

it's a two edged sword. you borrow sm1 money and he wil use his father's grave to swear that he wil pay back. When e reach tym to pay bk, him go dey ghost you.

I have two persons on my list when put up a gentle face to borrow cash Frm me, uptil now I Neva see my money.

One collect in the afternoon say by eveng of dt same day, he wil pay bk, it's now 2weeks ,Na me dey use torchlight dey find this guy uptil now.

The oda one walk out on me when I ask for my money say him no get money after payback time don elapse.

Kriklande:
I do trading

Guide me on how to trade profitably

Kobojunkie:
You mean like the man who claimed his wife and baby died because the hospital refused to treat him unless he paid the 500K fee?

Let me ask you, how well do you tink you can prepare for life emergencies. that man case had a trajectory that went beyond his financial budget at dt moment.

Not really dt He didn't make provision for planning.He was hard hit and was negotiating for a relief not demanding or insisting to get dt service.

shebi your Nigeria too dey negotiate for debt relief for financial demands when dem.no fit meet.

Kobojunkie:
You mean like the man who claimed his wife and baby died because the hospital refused to treat him unless he paid the 500K fee?

little boy, how is life with you?

they feel entitled to other peoples resources.

Solitechworld:
This caption is not a clickbait. You just need to read the whole post to get the context, but it is as true as you read it, and it is one of those realities of marriage you have to come to terms with.

I don't think a man who expects his wife to never ever disrespect him is ready for marriage, or perhaps he is all geared up for dictatorship. If humans disobey their Creator, it is not far-fetched to think that humans will disobey fellow humans, whoever they are.

For me, I have a principle with which I deal with this:
I expect from humans what is similar to (but not the same as) what God expects from me. God doesn't expect me to be perfect. He knows I will sin. The difference between a good and a bad sinner is frequency and persistence. God loves that sinner who sins and repents from it in no distant time rather than persist in the sin. Similarly, a pious person sins, but he only does it sometimes, not all the time.

In the same vein, a wife is not called disobedient and disrespectful because she goes against your wish once in a while. She is so if she does it all the time. That woman who, when she does wrong, realizes it eventually and apologizes is a good woman. You can’t compare her to a woman who is in the wrong and defends it with all her might. She is like the arrogant sinner God detests, the kind we humans detest so much.

So yeah, there are moments my wife speaks out of character to me, that she wouldn't do a thing I want or speaks to me in anger. As a man, how you deal with such scenarios speaks highly of your maturity and contributes a great deal to the regard and respect your wife will have for you.

If each time your wife disrespects you or does something you don't like, you pull rank, go overboard in anger, threaten fire and brimstone, or pull out your punishment cards — trust me, there is only so long you can continue that before she gets used to it and becomes undeterred. Instead, you ignore some, make a joke out of some, and some you deal with appropriately. Maturity makes you unpredictable. But more importantly, it gives your wife breathing space in the marriage.

How would you feel working in an organization where there is no room for error, as every mistake is met with an immediate reprimand? Wouldn't you feel like a slave working in a gold mine? That is exactly how it feels for women in a home where their husbands expect perfection from them all the time.

Sometimes, let women just be women. Let their silliness meet your playful understanding, and sometimes let it meet your fiery justice. Leadership is largely about balance between firmness and meekness. Tilting excessively to one side makes you either a dictator or a weak leader.

Men greater than you in piety and wealth have been disrespected by their wives. You are neither the first nor the last.

- Abu Imrān

before you react at her. Look deep into the intention of her outburst or insult at you. some of them just utter bitter words because they are angry.

TheOldGods:

This man is a clown. If he was the one, would he accept to give someone goods on credit or work for someone on credit and to get paid later? he should be ashamed of himself rather than looking for cheap pity. Pregnancy is not an Emergency, you don't just get pregnant. it is something that is planned for, even if a woman gets pregnant, She still has 9months. this man is clearly a mistake, he took the life of his wife all by himself for his lack of decision making or leadership experience in his marriage. His negligence should not be frowned from. he killed his wife by his hands. if this was an actual emergency like a gunshot, accident etc, then I would feel a bit more sad and remorseful, but pregnancy is never ever an Emergency.

son, let me ask you these

Are you a married man?

If you are, have you experience delivery moment with your wife right inside the delivery room?


Have you been there, I mean right inside the delivery room with your wife , that is if you have one at all, everything was going fine and all of a sudden the unexpected happens?

I use to talk like the way you just did until I experienced one with my wife right in the labour room.

keep praying against quack or medical personnel wit little experience to attend to your wife or the hospital that dnt have good medical tools or facilities.

In my own case, preparation was made but the delivery took us to anoda direction dt I Neva expected we had to be referred Frm one hospital to anoda.
From the very first hospital we did antenatal dt couldn't handle the delivery to referrals was an experience mouth cnt say it all.

First hospital we were referred to, no doctor on ground to attend to us.
Second hospital, doctors came out and refuse to attend to us because we weren't naval staffs as they said , it is only naval officers dt cn use their hospital.
third hospital, doctors came out and outrightly refuse to take us in.
This was around 2am. moving from one point to anoda inside ambulance searching for a good hospital till the fourth one accepted us.
We got to the fourth one around 6am. labour was already at an advanced emergency.

I saw ween. I know how many kg comot Frm my body dt month. I loose massive Weight in few days. people go see me for wrk. go ask , "oga ,are you sick"

I know how much I spent . I really spent far beyond my financial budget for a normal safe delivery.

ThankGod both mother and baby survived it.

1nigeriamyfoot:
Don't be fooled

Pcex, cbex, swissborg, and all other crypto staking platforms is scam

All the coin they claimed to stake to make profit cannot be found anywhere except on their fake website

Yahoo boys setup these websites to defraud unsuspecting members of the public

Don't be caught in their evil net

Be warned

What proof do you have that makes them fake? when you allege, attach it with proof. That is a mature way of criticizing. Am neither agreeing or disagreeing with you.

the title of your topic is deficient. you would have said why are people(both gender) not patient in making their marriage work?

Romanticgist:
1. Apologize for what they perceive is wrong you have done, especially if you both left each other in an off way

2. Check up on your spouse during the day, a short warm phone call, a text message to make him/smile

3. Find out the emotional state of your spouse. Is your spouse going through something heavy emotionally - money issue, a health issue, an issue at work, a challenge with siblings, depression, grief? Be there for your spouse emotionally. The emotional relief can relax the body

4. Find out if your wife is on her monthly periods. You could be expecting fireworks yet the red robots are weighing her down

5. Compliment and appreciate your spouse, say something that makes your spouse feel noticed and appreciated

6. In case you're Hot during the day, flirt with your spouse, tell your spouse all the naughty things you want to do to your spouse. Psychologically prepare your spouse, create an appetite

7. Form an agreement, go straight to the point. Tell your spouse, tonight I want to make love to you. Let your spouse know you have sexual expectations

8. Make it about mutual enjoyment. Tell your spouse how you want to sexually please him/her, not how you want to be pleased. Your spouse will be excited when his/her needs seem earger to be met. Don’t make it about you

9. Come home early. Don’t build anticipation then come home when your spouse is exhausted and sleepy just because of...https://www.relationshipaffair.site/?m=1

this wil actually do the reverse.

it is men dat do all dis online copy and paste pre-acting stuffs just to nack dt the wife dey always do Shakara for.

funny enof, you wil do all this and when e reach nite to play match, the woman go still tell you...."pls , I am tired. I want to sleep"

If you wnt to nack, go straight to the point. let her know it is her duty.

company no go beg you or cajole you before you do ur duty(work).

you no wan dey work(nack) but you wan to dey collect salary(enjoy privileges and benefits the husband provides always).

You(wife) are cheating the company(husband) be dat.

Emeka511:
I was dating this girl for quite sometime and we worked in same organization but different branches... We dated for about 4 months and she tells everyone I'm her man in the organization because she noticed some ladies in our org were having interest in me too.

Fast fwd to when she got an internship job in an audit firm we still keeping communication, she comes to my apartment for weekends etc but I noticed this girl is a girl that love things going her own way...
She claims to be churchy but things she do mks me question her church going... She sounds rude sometimes, she has this entitlement mentality, if I don't call her a day she will retaliate too...

Along the line things got sour wen I asked her to stop communicating with a guy that wants to get her into trouble through money laundering with Nigerian banks... She became angry telling me that's a red flag to her for telling her to stop communicating with this guy... Asking why I will tell her to stop communicating with someone just like that cos I have no right to tell her that... She even went as far as saying she can't marry a man who will stop her from communicating with ppl... So that's when the whole issue started then I had to give her some space till the next day to see if she'd come BK to her senses and apologize for the way she took the whole situation but she never called till the next day I tried talking to her... She told me she doesn't want the relationship anymore and she had moved on... I tried talking to her but she said she can't that she noticed some red flags about me which she can't continue.

Red flags she talked about was;
She need a calm man and I am not.

Me and her head day hot.

I'm a clubbing type (whereby we go to club together anytime we're together and she initiate it even wen I'm not in the mood for clubbing)

I do kush. (Shes do more of alcohol).

I don't go to church regularly ( she's a churchy girl)

She doesn't have much respect for me and she needs a man she wants to respect 💯

I had to option than to let her go cos I've tried sorting out things with her but she had made up her mind already...

What annoys me more is anytime she comes over to my place she most go home with one or two of my clothes cos she claims she don't want to wear what she wore to my place back home so she wear my clothes promising to return them back... She has taken about 4 polo tops, 2 shirts, Michael kors watch, slide and sandals and promise to return them but till today she hasn't returned them.
Even after break up I still remind her about my stuffs she borrowed and never returned but she feels adamant about returning them... Even on Sunday she wore my wrist watch to church and even had the guts to post it on her whatsapp status 😡

All this she took are expensive and some are gifts from friends.

Should I still request my things back or i should just let go...?

Emeka, since she refuse to return those stuffs, dnt ask her again about it. Dou it's painful especially when those items are precious to you.
Let it go. cut off contact and communication with that gal.

Don't worry,just count it as a lose.

from just her explanation, you wil be able to infer the character of the woman.
such shit happens when a woman or man doesn't have an elderly person he/ she is accountable to.


How are we sure the husband too is not of same feather with the woman. maybe the woman plays the infidelity game more than the man.

The supposed husband probably spoke out maybe because the womans waywardness was excessive than his.

4teenblaq:
N

what kind of update? update on war in Gaza or Israel versus Lebanon?

BluntCrazeMan:
What killed Him Abbegg.??


Na Accident.?

it is alleged to be prostrate cancer

the new ones before now, how well have you been rolling with them. no diff btw the incoming new and the ones you already know.

just go straight to the point and say what you want. anyway, what do I know? oya , meet me. I am new

in the middle of a conversation where we were trying to settle a misunderstanding . she blurted and said...."you don't know me oo"

as I hear dt statement, I had a second thought of pushing the relationship further.

make person no go put rat poison for my food one day or stab me for my sleep.

the average Nigerian is more loyal to his ethnicity than to Nigeria. A whole learned immigration officer selling arms to bandits!!!